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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28309863">talk too much</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/poubelle_bisexuelle/pseuds/poubelle_bisexuelle'>poubelle_bisexuelle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ba Sing Se, Badass Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Disaster Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Fire Nation (Avatar), Fluff and Angst, Hurt Sokka (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Sokka (Avatar), Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, POV Sokka (Avatar), Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Season/Series 02, Slow Burn, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, idiots to lovers, no beta we die like jet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:29:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>119,685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28309863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/poubelle_bisexuelle/pseuds/poubelle_bisexuelle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The sun and the moon are opposites. The Fire Nation and the Water Tribes are opposites. Fire and water are opposites. Summer and winter are opposites. Princes and peasants are opposites. Zuko and Sokka are opposites. So, naturally, they don’t mix. Not ever. Not even if Sokka keeps going back, lying to himself by saying that it’s just for information and that he’s not totally and completely falling in love with a Fire Nation prince.</p><p>Or: Sokka finds Zuko at Pao’s Family Tea House, accidentally-kinda-maybe falls in love under the pretense of gathering information and thinks that maybe him and Zuko aren’t that different after all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Cay's Completed Fics, Zukka that makes my little heart sing</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. caffeine, small talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>zukka just won’t leave me alone </p><p>title is from the song ‘talk too much’ by coin and all the chapter titles are lyrics from the song. i love coin and i was listening to the song and i just went “oh...zukka” because it’s the most zukka song ever</p><p>set after zuko’s date with jin and after his fight with jet but before lake laogai</p><p>side note: as much as i love sukka (suki/zuko/sokka) and sukki (suki/sokka) suki and sokka did not kiss after the serpents pass (even though i love all the sukki scenes in the serpents pass) and instead suki told him about her fucking awesome kyoshi warrior girlfriend and then they bonded about being the best bisexuals :)</p><p>the picture at the start is a sort of aesthetic "preview" collage thing for the chapter. there will be one for each chapter !! (coudnt get it to be thebes right width or whatevs so you’ll have to move the page to the side if youre on mobile :()</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Honestly, Sokka shouldn’t be surprised. Zuko’s followed them halfway around the world so why is he surprised that Zuko is “working” at a tea shop in Ba Sing Se, the city that Team Avatar just happens to be in. </p>
<p>Maybe he’s surprised because Zuko’s hair looks different and it’s longer than it was when they fought Azula. Maybe he’s surprised because Zuko is in simple, commoner’s clothing. Maybe he’s surprised because the tea shop is in the Lower Ring and Sokka never thought Zuko could ever step foot inside the Lower Ring and not, like, puke or something (Sokka isn’t actually sure how wealthy people act, all he has to go off of is Zuko calling him and Katara “peasants” and Toph, who isn’t the most...ladylike). </p>
<p>Sokka had just been walking by himself (<em> without </em> Joo Dee) while Aang and Momo had gone to look for Appa and so did Katara and Toph, pairing themselves up and leaving Sokka to wander by himself when he found the tea shop and saw Zuko through one of the windows. </p>
<p>So Zuko is working at Pao Family Tea House and Sokka is determined to find out why. He’s the plan guy and if he’s going to figure out why Prince Jerkbender is here, he’s going to need to be calm and cool and collected and he’s going to need to have leverage over Zuko. </p>
<p>Sokka pushes the door open to the tea shop and the bell above the door rings when he enters. He spares a quick glance at Zuko, who’s currently serving another customer, and sits at a table. Sokka grabs the menu and pretends to read it, he hasn’t seen any other employees so he’s guessing that Zuko is the only one. Perfect. It’s blackmail time. </p>
<p>He hears footsteps coming towards him and doesn’t look up, knowing it’s Zuko. </p>
<p>“What can I get you today?” a familiar, raspy voice asks.</p>
<p>Sokka looks up from the menu, a smirk on his face. “What would you recommend?”</p>
<p>He watches Zuko’s eyes widen. Well. His unburned eye widens, the other one stays narrowed. Sokka wonders if he can even see through that eye. </p>
<p>“You!” Zuko practically shouts. “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>Sokka shrugs. “I just wanted some tea. I didn’t expect you to be here, though. Nor did I expect to be shouted at by an angry jerkface. By the way, why don’t you be a little louder so that the entire tea shop hears you.”</p>
<p>Zuko lets out an angry breath, Sokka wouldn’t be surprised if he spit fire out of his mouth and steam came out of his ears. </p>
<p>“I’ll ask you one more time,” Zuko hisses. “<em> What </em> are you doing here? Are you with the Avatar?”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes. “Geez, man, do you ever talk about anything else? You’re all like: ‘Where’s the Avatar?’ and ‘Give me the Avatar!’ and ‘I need the Avatar to regain my honor!’ Don't you ever stop?”</p>
<p>Zuko huffs and Sokka swears he actually does see steam come out of his ears. “You wouldn’t understand, you’re just some peasant from the South Pole.”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes again. “Let me ask you a question. What are <em> you </em> doing here? Why are you so hung up on chasing us.”</p>
<p>“I’m not – I’m not chasing you right now,” Sokka scoffs. “I’m serious! I didn’t know you were in Ba Sing Se, my uncle and I are here as refugees.”</p>
<p>“Refugees?” Sokka asks incredulously. “You really expect me to believe you guys are refugees and you didn’t follow us here to capture Aang?”</p>
<p>Zuko throws his hands up in frustration. “Yes! I’m not here for the Avatar. Look – just – <em> now </em> is not a good time. I’m working.”</p>
<p>“Ooohhh. It isn’t a good time for you. No, no, I understand. ‘Cause it was definitely a good time for us when you were chasing us across the world trying to kill us!”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t trying to kill you, you and the other girl would be fine if you just gave me the Avatar!”</p>
<p>“Aha!” Sokka jabs his finger at Zuko. “So you are here for Aang.”</p>
<p>“No! I – will you just – will you just be quiet. You’re making a scene.”</p>
<p>“<em> I’m </em> making a scene? You’re the one yelling at me.”</p>
<p>Zuko pinches the bridge of his nose. “Listen, my shift’s over in around five minutes. Just. Wait outside.”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes and watches Zuko leave to serve another customer. He sighs and leaves the tea shop, standing outside next to the window he saw Zuko through. </p>
<p>Ten minutes (<em> not </em> five minutes so Zuko <em> lied </em>) later Zuko comes out of the shop. When Zuko comes out, Sokka is tapping his foot impatiently on the ground and looking around in case this is some sort of plan to get Aang. </p>
<p>Sokka fights the urge to punch Zuko (or throw his boomerang, it was so satisfying when he hit Zuko back at home) and instead glares at the guy. “Explain what you’re doing here if you’re not here for Aang. Or I’m getting Katara. And you better hope I don’t get Toph.”</p>
<p>“Who – never mind. I told you. I’m not here for you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t believe that. How stupid do you think I am?”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him blankly. </p>
<p>“I’m supposed to think it’s just a huge coincidence that you’re here. And we’re here. In the same city. At the same time,” Sokka says flatly. </p>
<p>“I can’t prove anything to you but I’m not here for you. Seriously.”</p>
<p>“How can I believe you? You’re just in Ba Sing Se while we’re looking for – wait! You probably – do <em> you </em> have Appa?”</p>
<p>Zuko scratches his head. “Appa?”</p>
<p>“Our sky bison, you know, the one that we ride while you chase us on your horrible ship.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks at him. “Yes. I have your sky bison. It’s in the storage room where we keep the ginseng blends,” he deadpans. </p>
<p>Sokka narrows his eyes and glares at Zuko, Zuko glares back just as fiercely. </p>
<p>“Are we done here now? I have work to do.”</p>
<p>“We’re – I – you. You just. Keep to yourself. I’m watching you,” Sokka says, pointing two fingers to his eyes and then pointing them back to Zuko. Zuko leaves without a second glance at Sokka. The jerk. The least he could do is, like, glare back at Sokka or something.</p>
<p>Sokka sighs, that really didn’t go as planned.</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>He doesn’t tell Aang or Katara. For multiple reasons. Katara will just go after Zuko the second she finds out and Sokka doesn’t want that. For one: Zuko isn’t <em> technically </em> doing anything wrong (not that Sokka believes that he’s just a “refugee”) and attacking him isn’t going to achieve anything. He’s got a plan. A smart one. Because he now has something to hold over the jerkbender. The fact that he’s pretending to not be a firebender. Leverage. He’s got leverage and now he can blackmail Zuko. </p>
<p>But Sokka has always never been good at keeping his mouth shut and he <em> has </em> to tell someone so when Katara and Aang are asleep he shakes Toph awake. </p>
<p>“<em> What </em>?” Toph grumbles. </p>
<p>“Come outside, I need to tell you something.”</p>
<p>They tiptoe out of the house and they huddle close in the dark. </p>
<p>“Spill,” she demands. </p>
<p>“Yesterday when I was alone looking to see if I could find anything about Appa I came across this tea shop and I saw this guy –”</p>
<p>“Ugh,” Toph gags, sticking her tongue out. “If you’re going to gush about how cute this tea shop guy is then I’m going back to sleep.”</p>
<p>Sokka turns red. “No! I definitely don’t think this guy is cute. It’s Zuko. He’s working at the tea shop calling himself another name, I think Li or something.”</p>
<p>Toph hums and there’s something in the way she does it that sounds weird to Sokka. “And? Why are you telling me this?”</p>
<p>Sokka glares at her, forgetting that she can’t see him doing it. “Well I just need to tell someone and it can’t be Katara or Aang because they’ll want to go attack him and that’s not going to work for me because I can use this as blackmail material.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Toph says slowly, “take me to him.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I can tell if he’s lying about anything and then you can use that as your blackmail stuff,” she explains irritatedly.</p>
<p>“How can you –”</p>
<p>“There’s a physical reaction to when people lie, their heart rate goes up,” she says as though Sokka is being stupid and then she gives a shit-eating grin that confuses Sokka but he’s too tired to figure out why she does. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Sokka nods. “Okay. We’ll go tomorrow.”</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>Sokka wakes early the next day, the excitement of catching Zuko in his lies prevents him from sleeping and he wakes Toph up (earning multiple kicks). They head out (after scribbling a note to Aang and Katara saying that they’re going to try and wiggle stuff out of someone who might know where Appa could be. Sokka does feel a little guilty about that note so he promises himself to fulfill the note after they go to the tea shop) and as they’re walking Toph says something that almost makes Sokka fall.</p>
<p>“So you think Zuko’s cute?”</p>
<p>“What?” Sokka all but yells.</p>
<p>“You think Zuko’s cute,” Toph repeats. “I can tell when people lie and last night when I said that you thought the tea shop guy was cute you jumped out of your skin and said no and you were <em> lying </em>,” she finishes triumphantly. So that’s what the grin last night was for.</p>
<p>Sokka doesn’t blush because literally why would he. “I do <em> not </em> think Zuko’s cute. He’s an ash maker and he’s a horrible person and he stole our mom’s necklace and he followed us around the world and I don’t believe that he doesn’t have Appa.”</p>
<p>Toph shrugs. “You can still think a horrible person is cute. And you <em> were </em> lying when you said that you didn’t think Zuko was cute. So you do.”</p>
<p>“I don’t!”</p>
<p>“You do, you’re lying again.” Sokka fights the urge to kill Toph. “And I thought he was an ‘angry freak with a ponytail’? What’s so cute about him?”</p>
<p>“Nothing!” Sokka insists. “I don’t think he’s cute. And – he doesn’t have a ponytail anymore, his hair is shorter and I think he’s growing it out. It looks –” Sokka cuts himself off before saying “nice” because it’s not like it actually looks nice, it’s just better than the ponytail and he’s not giving Toph the satisfaction. </p>
<p>Toph smirks. “You’re just giving me proof that you think Zuko is cute.”</p>
<p>Sokka huffs angrily. “I am <em> not </em>! You need some glasses for your feet.”</p>
<p>Toph cackles, outright cackles and punches him, not saying anything else and letting Sokka know that she isn’t going to let this go. </p>
<p>Once they reach the tea shop, Sokka tells Toph to wait outside. He spots Zuko instantly and waves at him to catch his attention. When Zuko sees him he glares at Sokka and narrows his eyes. </p>
<p>“Five minutes, I’ll be outside,” Sokka says and leaves the tea shop, the bell ringing as he closes the door. </p>
<p>Exactly five minutes later (so he’s on time <em> this </em> time) Zuko comes out of the shop, his apron still on and an annoyed look on his face. </p>
<p>“What,” he says flatly. </p>
<p>“Wow,” Toph says. “Not that nice are you, Prince Zuko.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s good eye widens and he makes a shushing noise. “Don’t call me that! Especially not here!”</p>
<p>Sokka wonders why he didn’t just say “Don’t call me that here” instead of the “Especially not here”, Zuko is a prince after all so why doesn’t he want to be called one?</p>
<p>“Geez, sorry. No need to get all touchy,” Toph says, raising her hands up in defense. </p>
<p>“What. Do. You. Want.”</p>
<p>“We just want to talk,” Sokka says innocently. “Tell her what you told me yesterday.” He pushes Toph closer to Zuko and she flashes him an annoyed look. </p>
<p>Zuko spares a confused glance at Sokka and then looks at Toph. “I didn’t come here to capture the Avatar.”</p>
<p>Sokka notes that he says he didn’t come here to capture Aang but doesn’t outright say that he isn’t <em> going </em> to capture Aang. Interesting information.</p>
<p>Zuko glances at Sokka again and then adds, “And I don’t have your bison.”</p>
<p>Sokka looks to Toph. “Well?”</p>
<p>She shrugs. “He’s telling the truth.”</p>
<p>“What? No. He can’t be. I told you that you need some glasses for your feet, check again.”</p>
<p>Zuko turns to head back inside but Sokka stops him, grabbing his wrist. Zuko immediately tenses and Sokka swears he feels a bit of heat. </p>
<p>“Once more. To make sure.”</p>
<p>Zuko glares at him. “I didn't come here to capture the Avatar. I’m not going home. And I’m never going to regain my honour.” </p>
<p>Okay, wow. </p>
<p>Zuko snatches his wrist out of Sokka’s grip and leaves, this time Sokka lets him go, his hand still outstretched and curled where Zuko’s wrist was.</p>
<p>Toph tugs on his arm. “Let’s go. He wasn’t lying about any of that.”</p>
<p>Sokka lets Toph pull him away and doesn't say anything during the walk back to the house. He’d been so sure that Zuko was lying (the Fire Nation has to be good at lying, they’ve been lying to themselves by saying they’re “the superior nation”) and it turns out he wasn’t? It doesn’t make sense. </p>
<p>Toph stops in front of the house and Sokka nearly bumps into her. He glares at her (forgetting for probably the fifteenth time that she can’t see it) and she puts her hands on her hips. </p>
<p>“Zuko wasn’t lying but you’re not done, are you?” she asks in a <em> very </em> accusing voice, Sokka’s a little offended. </p>
<p>“I’m not done,” he admits. “Not when I’ve got something to hold over him, I’m going back tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Toph rolls her eyes. “I’m guessing we’re keeping this from Twinkle Toes and Sweetness?”</p>
<p>“Yup, I can’t risk them knowing,” he smiles down at her. “You <em> can </em> keep a secret, can’t you?”</p>
<p>She elbows him. “Pshh, of course I can. That’s two secrets of yours I’m keeping.”</p>
<p>Sokka nods. “Yeah – wait, two?”</p>
<p>Toph grins and Sokka really doesn’t like that look on her face. “Yeah. That Zuko’s here and you’re going to blackmail him or whatever,” her grin widens (oh no), “and that you think Zuko’s cute.”</p>
<p>Sokka groans and hits his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I don’t think Zuko is cute!”</p>
<p>“I can tell you’re lying,” she sing-songs. “C’mon, tell me what he looks like.” She nudges her shoulder against his arm. </p>
<p>“Well; he’s got dark hair that’s just a little bit past his ears and it’s kinda shaggy, his eyes are gold which is so weird like who has gold eyes, and – wait, no! I don’t – ugh!” Sokka groans again and hits his forehead again as Toph cackles. He truly hates her laugh. A lot.</p>
<p>“There’s no need to be ashamed, Snoozles, you’re allowed to think someone’s cute. Even if it’s Zuko,” Toph says snidely. </p>
<p>“Ugh, I hate you! I don’t think that <em> Prince Jerkbender </em>is cute!”</p>
<p>Toph smirks widely. “Both lies,” she says in her terrible sing-song voice and heads inside, leaving Sokka outraged in front of the house. </p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>Sokka goes back to the small and sort of dingy tea shop the next morning. The shop is more packed than it was the other two days so Sokka has to sit at a table where another girl is sitting. She’s quite pretty, with her light brown skin and brown braids. He says a quick hello and looks around to find Zuko. He spots him standing next to another table with a tray of tea. Other than being scowly and annoyed, he does nothing wrong. A few minutes pass by and Sokka tracks every one of Zuko’s movements. He doesn’t do <em> anything </em> out of the ordinary, since when did Prince Zuko get so <em> boring </em>. Sokka fights the urge to let out a frustrated groan, he just wants to catch Zuko at something because it just makes no sense that he’s here even if Toph said he wasn’t lying. </p>
<p>“I know,” the girl in front of him says, “he’s really cute.”</p>
<p>Sokka nods absentmindedly. “Yeah I kn – wait.” He snaps his head to look at her. “Who are you talking about?”</p>
<p>She jerks her head to where Zuko is putting a teacup into his tea tray. “Li. He’s really cute.”</p>
<p>Sokka shakes his head, feeling his cheeks warm. “Oh no! I don’t think –”</p>
<p>The girl smiles. “It’s okay. I saw you looking at him, there’s no need to be ashamed.” Sokka shakes his head again. He’s never been ashamed of liking girls <em> and </em> guys, it’s totally fine in the Water Tribe. But why does everyone think that he thinks Zuko is cute? Zuko is the opposite of cute. He’s angry, annoying, terrible, and <em> not cute </em>!  </p>
<p>“I went on a date with him, y’know,” the girl says, snapping Sokka out of his thoughts. </p>
<p>“You – what?” Sokka asks in a disbelieving tone. Zuko? Going on a date? With a pretty, <em> Lower Ring </em>, Earth Kingdom girl?</p>
<p>She hums. “Yeah. We went on a date a few days ago. He was very sweet and <em> very awkward </em>,” she giggles. “He gave me a coupon for a free cup of tea, too, said it was his uncle's idea. Apparently he’s from a travelling circus and he juggled, but,” she leans in closer and whispers, “he’s not very good. I kissed him at the end of the date, by the fountain with all the lamps lit up, and he kissed me back for a second before running away. I don’t think he was really into me,” she adds wistfully, sighing. “I think he only went because his uncle told him to. Still, it was a very nice date and I hope he liked it too.”</p>
<p>Sokka blinks multiple times. Everything this girl has said is nothing like the Zuko he knows. Very sweet? Awkward? <em> Juggler </em>? It makes no sense.</p>
<p><em> Ah </em> , a voice says in the back of his head, <em> but you don’t really know Zuko, do you? He just chased you around, you don’t know what he’s like </em>. </p>
<p><em> No </em> , Sokka tells the voice. <em> He’s a bad person who’s done bad things. I know that. I know him.  </em></p>
<p>“Oh! And he came to the date with this really terrible hairstyle that I ruffled straight away – is something wrong?” </p>
<p>Sokka widens his eyes. “Uh, no. I’m just...tired, yeah, just tired.”</p>
<p>The girl nods and then she looks to the side as they both hear footsteps. Sokka looks up to see Zuko (hair <em> somehow </em> having grown a little longer, whose hair <em> grows </em> that fast?) holding an empty tea tray under one arm. </p>
<p>“What can I get you –” he cuts off as he spots Sokka and then he narrows his eyes, “– today,” he finishes. </p>
<p>“Hi, Li!” the girl says brightly. </p>
<p>Zuko’s cheeks turn a faint pink when he sees her. “Hello, Jin,” he says weakly and <em> so awkwardly </em>. Who knew Zuko was so awkward?</p>
<p>“I’d like a cup of oolong, please,” Jin says happily. </p>
<p>Zuko turns to Sokka, the light blush on his pale skin disappearing. “And you?” he asks roughly. </p>
<p>Sokka shrugs. “Li, is it?” Zuko grits his teeth and nods. “Well, <em> Li </em>, I’m not really a big tea drinker. What would you recommend?”</p>
<p>Zuko lets out an angry breath. “I’ll get you some jasmine, how about that?”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles and nods. “Yeah, that’d be great,” he says in a  tone that Zuko knows is mocking.</p>
<p>Zuko gives Sokka a tight smile. “Right. What’s your name?”</p>
<p>Sokka smirks and tilts his head at Zuko. “Zuko. My name is Zuko.”</p>
<p>“That’s an unusual name,” Jin says. “Zuko,” she echoes. “I’ve never heard of that name. It’s not very common in the Earth Kingdom.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes widen and Sokka takes pleasure in the panic on his face.</p>
<p>“Really?” Sokka asks, turning to look at her. “It’s very common where I’m from.”</p>
<p>Jin smiles. “It is? I love learning about different places! Where are you from?”</p>
<p>“Thank you, your order will be ready soon,” Zuko says quickly, cutting Jin off and turning away from their table. </p>
<p>“Do you think we said something to offend him?” Jin asks worriedly. This girl is really too sweet for this world. And too sweet for Zuko. </p>
<p>Sokka shrugs. “Nah, he’s probably just in a bad mood.”</p>
<p>They’re silent for a moment until Jin says, “You know he’s very good with dual broadswords.”</p>
<p>“What?” Sokka asks, caught off guard. </p>
<p>“Li. He wields dual broadswords. At least I think. A few days ago, before I had gathered the courage to ask Li on a date, this guy came in. He had these...hooks? And he had wheat in his mouth or something.” <em> Jet </em> , Sokka thinks. “He accused Li of being a firebender and then Li took a customer’s <em> dao </em> and then they fought. He’s rather good, it was an interesting fight to watch. Until the Dai Li broke it up, of course.”</p>
<p>So Jet accused Zuko of being a firebender, they fought, and the Dai Li broke it apart. Sokka files this information away for later (when he interrogates Zuko of course).</p>
<p>“Wow,” Sokka says slowly. “That’s...very interesting.”</p>
<p>Jin smiles sweetly and just then Zuko comes with a tea tray and a scowl. He gives Jin and Sokka their tea and leaves almost straight away but Sokka grabs his wrist, stopping him. He can’t help but notice how warm it is. Are all firebenders this warm?</p>
<p>“Wait!” he yells and then feels his face warm as he realizes that people in the tea shop are staring at him and Jin is <em> smirking </em> . <em> Smirking </em>. She should not be smirking. Zuko looks at him expectantly and Sokka finds himself staring at Zuko’s unnatural gold eyes. “I – uh – um. I need – I would like to talk to you after – after your shift is done.”</p>
<p><em> What the fuck </em> , <em> Sokka </em>?</p>
<p>Sokka mentally smacks himself. Why did he <em> sound </em> like that? Why did he <em> say </em> it like that? And <em> why </em> is he still holding on to Zuko’s wrist and <em> why </em> are him and Zuko staring at each other in a way that is just... <em> weird </em>?</p>
<p>A light pink colour blooms on Zuko’s cheeks. It's like the colour of the roses at the Beifong garden. </p>
<p><em> Uh, yeah, what the fuck </em> , <em> Sokka </em>?</p>
<p>“Uhm, okay,” Zuko mumbles, turning away and letting his wrist fall slowly and softly out of Sokka’s grip. A big difference compared to when he snatched it away yesterday. </p>
<p>“Good on you,” Jin comments, a smirk on her face,” for shooting your shot. He seems more interested in you than he seemed in me.”</p>
<p>She gets up from the table, cup of oolong still in her hand, leaving Sokka sputtering behind her.</p>
<p>“No, wait! I wasn’t – Jin!” he calls after her, stuttering his words, his face bright red. </p>
<p>“Good luck!” she calls back. </p>
<p><em> What the actual fuck </em> , <em> Sokka </em> ? he asks himself. <em> What the fuck have you done </em>?</p>
<p>Sokka sips his tea, ignoring the looks of the customers in the tea shop and the <em> very suggestive </em> look that an old man, that Sokka knows is Zuko’s uncle, is giving him. He drums his fingers on the table, thinking about the previous conversations with Zuko. Sokka thinks he’s sort of got it figured out, about Zuko. He knows what he’s going to say and what’s going on for Zuko right now. The conversation with Jin really helped. </p>
<p>“You,” a rough voice says quietly. “Wanted to talk. To me. After my shift was over.”</p>
<p>Wow Zuko is awkward. Sokka looks up at him and nods. Zuko leads him to the back of the small shop where a man Sokka can only assume is the manager, Pao, is sweeping and pushes open a door that leads behind the shop. </p>
<p>Zuko leans against the building and taps his foot on the ground. “What.” It’s not a question. </p>
<p>Sokka crosses his arms, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I think I’ve got it figured out. This thing. With you.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks startled, it’s clear that this isn’t what he’d been expecting. </p>
<p>“You’re here, in Ba Sing Se, for reasons I don’t know but I’m guessing. You said that you and your uncle are here as ‘refugees’ so something’s stopping you from coming home – other than not...being allowed.” </p>
<p>Sokka had been thinking about how Zuko didn’t want to be called a prince, regardless of the fact that he was in the Earth Kingdom, and then words Zhao said weeks ago came back to him. <em> “Two traitors in one day” </em>. Sokka hadn’t thought much about it before but he finally realized why Zuko is so obsessed with getting home. He’s not allowed home. </p>
<p>Zuko inhales a sharp breath and looks even more surprised at what Sokka says, he also looks angry but Sokka continues, “You saw me in the tea shop and asked if I was with Aang because if I was with the Avatar then there’s a chance that you get to go home. It would’ve been easy to say that you didn’t come here for Aang and that you weren’t going to capture him and then follow me and take him but you didn’t do that. I’m still not entirely sure why you didn’t but I’ve got a pretty good idea and I’ll get to it later.</p>
<p>“I was talking to Jin and she said that somebody came in and accused you of being a firebender and then you two had a fight. Now, I’m not sure how you know Jet,” Zuko blushes for reasons unknown when Sokka says that, “but I do know that you didn’t admit to being a firebender when you’ve always seemed to be proud of it by saying that the Fire Nation is the best. Then Jin told me that you two went on a date,” Zuko goes pinker when he says this but his scowl doesn’t disappear, “and you were sweet to her but you only went because your uncle told you to. This all comes down to one thing. Your uncle.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes widen and then suddenly Sokka is against the wall that Zuko was previously leaning on. Zuko's arm presses against Sokka’s neck and he leans in closer, Sokka can feel Zuko’s breath ghost against his skin. He smells like cinnamon and cedar.</p>
<p><em> Tui and La, what the fuck is wrong with you </em> , <em> Sokka </em>?</p>
<p>“If you even think about hurting my uncle I will personally see to your end and you can forget about your pathetic little life,” Zuko breathes out angrily. </p>
<p>Sokka raises his arms up in defense. “Woah, chill out, man. I’m not going to hurt your uncle. Let me finish.”</p>
<p>Zuko lets go of him and steps back a little but he’s still. All. Up. In. Sokka’s. Space. And it’s killing him. All he can smell is cinnamon and cedar and that is not okay because it is taking up all of Sokka’s senses and now Sokka can’t concentrate. </p>
<p>He takes a shuddering breath. “I meant that everything has something in common and that is your uncle. You didn’t follow me to find Aang because you’d be leaving your uncle alone and it’s not what he would’ve wanted you to do. Follow me, I mean. You fought Jet, didn’t admit to being a firebender, and let him be taken away by the Dai Li all because you couldn’t let anything happen to your uncle. I can tell that you’re proud enough of being a firebender that you wouldn’t give a shit if you would be caught and imprisoned. You’ve already said that you’re not going home –” Zuko takes another sharp breath. “– and that you’re not getting your honour back so why would you care. The last thing you want to do is pretend to be some Earth Kingdom peasant. But your uncle is happy here, making tea, so you wouldn’t sell him out because of your pride. And you only went on that date with Jin because your uncle wanted you to.”</p>
<p>Zuko narrows his good eye at Sokka, a confused look on his face. “What are you talking about? Why does any of this matter?”</p>
<p>Sokka sighs. “Because, if I tell you that I’ll turn you in unless you tell me what I want –”</p>
<p>“I’m not telling you anything! Go ahead and turn me in, I don’t care,” Zuko interrupts and Sokka has to fight the urge to kill Zuko.</p>
<p>“I figured,” Sokka snaps. “Now let me finish. Obviously you ‘don’t care’ if I turn you in but somebody <em> else </em> does. Somebody that <em> you </em> care about.”</p>
<p>Zuko opens his mouth, looking furious but Sokka cuts across him before he can speak, “Look. If I turn you in then your uncle goes down with you and you don’t want that. So I won’t turn you in if you tell me what I want.”</p>
<p>Zuko grits his teeth and glares at Sokka. Sokka swears he can feel his clothes sizzling from that glare alone.</p>
<p>“What do you want to know?”</p>
<p>Sokka feels a small smile form on his face. “Just to be clear, you will answer all my questions if I don’t turn you or your uncle in?”</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko says shortly. “I won’t.”</p>
<p>“What? You said –”</p>
<p>“I won’t answer all of your questions,” Zuko says, cutting across Sokka. “I don’t know what your questions are going to be but I’m not stupid. You’re going to ask things about the Fire Nation and I won’t answer,” he crosses his arms. “Just because Az – there’s something stopping me from going home doesn’t mean that I’m a traitor. I won’t tell you things about the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>Spirits, this guy is so uptight and annoying. </p>
<p>Sokka sighs for what feels like the fifteenth time. “I’m not going to ask you stuff on how to defeat the Fire Nation; I’m not dumb, I know that you’d never tell me about that stuff. Just. Other questions.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks sceptical. “About the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>“Well,” Sokka says slowly, “partly –” Zuko turns to leave but Sokka catches his arm (<em> why </em> is this becoming such a common thing for him to do?) – “ <em> but </em>! Not like military stuff, just other things.”</p>
<p>Zuko doesn’t even move his arm away from Sokka, he just lets Sokka’s hands rest on his (very warm) arm. “Other things?” he asks disbelievingly.</p>
<p>Sokka scrambles for words to make sure Zuko doesn’t leave. “Yes. Like the food and...traditions. And other stuff that’s not even related to the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him for a long time and Sokka finds himself a little intimidated by those bright gold eyes. It’s so unnatural for someone to have such bright and such <em> gold </em> eyes. Finally Zuko rolls his eyes, sighing. “Fine. Whatever.”</p>
<p>Sokka’s eyes light up. “Perfect!”</p>
<p>He holds out his hand for Zuko to take and Zuko stares at it before reluctantly shaking Sokka’s hand. Zuko’s hands aren’t as baby soft as Sokka thought they’d be, his fingers are calloused (<em> the hands of a sword fighter </em> , Sokka can’t help but think) and his skin is <em> radiating </em> heat. It might just be Sokka’s imagination but it feels like the handshake lingers for longer than it’s supposed to be. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Sokka says. “We have a deal.”</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>Sokka tells Toph the second he gets back to their house in the Upper Ring and she doesn’t seem very interested until he tells her about his conversation with Jin and that terrible awkward moment when everyone stared at him. </p>
<p>“Zuko went on a date? With a girl who is super nice and thinks that you like him? And then you grabbed his arm and basically asked him out on a date? And then she wished you good luck?” Toph asks, basically repeating everything Sokka said. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah. It was so awkward and weird and Zuko’s was like burning hot that I almost burned myself and I mean I didn’t ask him on a date, but I could’ve been much less awkward about – why are you laughing?”</p>
<p>“Man, you got it bad, Snoozles. Even a stranger thinks so,” Toph says between laughs. </p>
<p>Sokka furrows his brows. “Got what bad?”</p>
<p>Toph snickers. “You’re so stupid!”</p>
<p>And then she leaves without another word.</p>
<p>“What the?” he mutters to himself confusedly and goes to follow her. “Toph, wait! Got what bad?”</p>
<p>His only answer is her cackles. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let’s all thank my boyfriend for reading over my stuff and being the absolute best person by helping me think of shit. i wuv him</p>
<p>okay but i’m serious, he’s the best. he was reading over this and he asked me if sokka would really blackmail someone like that and i was like. um. yes!!! sokka is smart, he knows how to get people to do what he wants. he’s badass and sooo smart</p>
<p>next chapter features: awkwardly asking questions, lengthy discussions about hair, and teenagers blushing</p>
<p>updates twice a week (probably monday’s and fridays)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. wait out the plastic weather</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 2</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>not me being so excited to post this chapter and literally waiting til 12am so that it’s monday and i can post it (as if i didn’t literally make the updating schedule and i can change it any time i want to???)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p><strike><em>date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number one </em></p>
<p>Sokka’s up early again because he just can’t wait to go interrogate – <em> ask Zuko questions </em>. Thinking that he’s the only one up, Sokka gets ready and heads straight for the door. </p>
<p>“Where are you going?” a voice behind him demands. </p>
<p>Sokka turns to look at his sister, trying to hide his irritation. “Out.”</p>
<p>Katara narrows her eyes. “You went ‘out’ yesterday.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Katara, I went out yesterday,” he replies sarcastically. “You know, it’s good to get some fresh air occasionally.”</p>
<p>Katara scoffs. “Where do you keep going? This is like the third time. I can never see you in the Upper Ring.” </p>
<p>“I’m usually not in the Upper Ring, I’m...always in the Middle Ring,” Sokka thinks up at random. “Yeah. The Middle Ring. I like the meat at the Middle Ring because since the, uh, Earth King is a...vegetarian? They don’t give us good enough meat.”</p>
<p>Katara raises an eyebrow and looks him up and down, scrutinizing him, before she shrugs. “Fine. Go.”</p>
<p>Something in her tone tells Sokka that she’s not going to let this go and, in true Katara fashion, is going to try and figure it out. Sokka decides to just take what he’s going to get and leaves.</p>
<p>It takes a while for him to get to Pao Family Tea House seeing as he has to go all the way to the Lower Ring but he gets there an hour or two before noon. Sokka silently prays that Jin isn’t there because he doesn’t think he can handle the embarrassment and the questions, especially when she realizes that he’s here to see Zuko again. </p>
<p>Sokka pushes open the door, the bell jingling as he walks in, and finds Zuko wiping down tables. Sokka makes a beeline straight for him. </p>
<p>Zuko’s scowl deepens when he sees him. “Not now. I’m working.”</p>
<p>Sokka fights the urge to roll his eyes. “Well when is your break?”</p>
<p>Zuko fixes him with a look. “My breaks aren’t that long, it won’t be enough time for whatever you want to ask. You’ll have to wait until my shift is over.”</p>
<p>“When’s your shift over?” Sokka asks and hopes that Zuko isn’t going to give him a stupid, short, one word answer.</p>
<p>“Soon.”</p>
<p>Sokka does roll his eyes this time. “<em> When </em>?”</p>
<p>Zuko glares at him and pauses his wiping. “In an hour or something. Can you wait?”</p>
<p>A challenge. Sokka’s never one to back down from a challenge. </p>
<p>“Of course I can wait,” Sokka says briskly. </p>
<p>Zuko looks at him disbelievingly but indicates for him to sit at the table that he’d just finished wiping. He starts to move away before stopping and leaning down to whisper (Sokka doesn’t think about how he can feel the heat radiating off of Zuko or how close he is or how he really smells strongly of cinnamon and cedar and is that honey and how bright his eyes are. He doesn’t), “Don’t make the table dirty.”</p>
<p>Sokka snorts and purposely rubs his fingers on the table just to see Zuko scowl even harder. </p>
<p>As it turns out, Sokka <em> can’t </em> wait. He looks around the shop, boredom consuming him and one leg bouncing up and down, but there’s nothing really interesting for him to do or see. So he settles for watching Zuko, to make sure he isn’t doing anything wrong of course. Which, irritatingly, he isn’t.</p>
<p>Zuko walks around the store, taking orders, giving people tea, taking empty tea cups from tables, wiping tables. He just acts completely normally. </p>
<p>It’s infuriating. </p>
<p><em> What </em> is this guy’s deal? What is he planning? Why can’t he just be the angry jerk who chases them around that Sokka is familiar with? Who is this awkward, tea shop kid?</p>
<p>He watches Zuko, his eyes narrowed, looking for any signs of slip-ups (there are none) and finds himself just looking at Zuko. Jin and Toph both thought Sokka thinks that Zuko’s cute. Jin had actually thought Sokka was checking Zuko out (which he was <em> not </em> ). Sokka supposes that Zuko isn’t unattractive, with his broody and intense thing going on. The scar doesn’t really take away from the attractiveness – not that he <em> is </em> attractive. He’s just not <em> unattractive </em> . He looks much better without that ponytail and his hair has grown longer since yesterday (because apparently Zuko’s hair grows twice as fast as <em> normal </em> people’s) and brushes just past his ears now. But he’s not <em> cute </em>. If Zuko’s cute then Sokka’s in love with him. </p>
<p>Sokka doesn’t know how long it takes for Zuko’s shift to finish but he does know that it’s been a long time when Zuko comes over to the table. Zuko’s apron is off and he leans down to Sokka, his scowl still in place.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” he whispers and then leaves without a single word. </p>
<p>Sokka scrambles up after him. “Go? Go whe – wait!” Sokka runs after him, making sure not to forget his things. “Where are we going?”</p>
<p>Zuko ignores him and leads him over to a small apartment not far from the tea shop. Sokka follows him inside and into a small room that he guesses is Zuko’s room. </p>
<p>Zuko lights a lamp, sits down on the bed, and doesn’t say anything else. Sokka hovers awkwardly until Zuko rolls his eyes and indicates for him to sit too.</p>
<p>“If you want to talk about the Fire Nation, we can’t do it in the open,” Zuko explains. </p>
<p>Sokka nods, trying not to let the awkwardness get to him.</p>
<p>Zuko’s features look soft in the lamplight, even the scar. He looks less scary this way and younger. Less like the scary prince who was chasing them and just a teenager working in a tea shop. The shadows dance across Zuko’s face as he looks back at Sokka impatiently. </p>
<p>Sokka needs to know about military stuff, how to defeat the Fire Nation, how to help Aang win. He needs information on how to infiltrate the Fire Nation during the invasion, he needs a map of the Fire Nation, he needs navigation. But Zuko isn’t going to give him that. </p>
<p>Yet. </p>
<p>Sokka just needs to butter him up. </p>
<p>“What –”</p>
<p>“I don’t know your name,” Zuko blurts out, interrupting Sokka. </p>
<p>“You don’t – what?” Sokka asks incredulously. </p>
<p>“I don’t know your name,” Zuko repeats. “I don’t really know any of your names.”</p>
<p>“What? How can you not know our names?”</p>
<p>Zuko shrugs. “It...never really came up. I’m guessing that Aang is the Avatar. I don’t know the rest.” At least he looks a little sheepish. “Your – your name starts with an…’S’, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” Sokka shouts and crosses his arms. “I can’t believe you don’t know our names.”</p>
<p>“S...s –”</p>
<p>“Sokka! My name is Sokka.”</p>
<p>Zuko nods. “Sokka,” he says slowly. “Sokka.” It sounds strange coming from him, like when you repeat a word too many times and then it doesn’t sound like a word. “That just leaves the waterbender – who I’m guessing is your sister? You two look alike – and the little girl you brought to me two days ago.”</p>
<p>“Katara and Toph,” Sokka says flatly. “Katara is my sister and Toph is the blind earthbender. <em> Don’t </em> call her a little girl.”</p>
<p>Zuko nods again and doesn't say anything else. </p>
<p>“So,” Sokka starts awkwardly, taking out his journal. “What is the dress code of the Fire Nation, the type of clothing you wear?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks at him confusedly. “What we wear? Why do you need to know that?”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes and waves an impatient hand. “I just do. It’s important.”</p>
<p>“<em> How </em> is that important?”</p>
<p>Sokka glares at him. “It just is. Now tell me.”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him before sighing. “The symbols and most of the clothes are modeled after...fire.” Sokka snorts. “It’s based on the elemental colour, like the Earth Kingdom and,” he indicates at Sokka, “the Water Tribes. I can’t say much about the commoners but the royal family wears clothes of rich reds and elaborate robes with spiked shoulders, sometimes wearing royal armour. Uhm, I don’t know, the clothes are usually red with some gold and black. Nobles wear clothing similar to the royal family, just less...fancy. Hair is usually worn in top-knots with flame ornaments.”</p>
<p>Sokka nods, writing everything down. He hadn’t been expecting Zuko to give such a lengthy and sort of detailed answer. Zuko really is the prince of one word answers but he fired away (pun intended) when Sokka asked about <em> clothes </em>. </p>
<p>“What about top-knots? Your sister, Azula –” Zuko flinches at her name, “– wears one but before you cut your hair you always had a ponytail.”</p>
<p>“Hair is a sign of honour in the Fire Nation.” Sokka fights a snort, of course it’s honour. “Top-knots worn by the royal family – nobles, guards, soldiers and others too – symbolize honour, the top-knot is never touched except in circumstances akin to death.”</p>
<p>Okay, wow. Fire Nation people are so dramatic.</p>
<p>“I...I always had my hair in a ponytail because – ponytails are around the same as a top-knot but less...valued,” Zuko explains. </p>
<p>Sokka jots this down. “What about the type of ponytail you had when you were chasing us? You were almost completely bald except for the ponytail. Why’s that?”</p>
<p>Zuko flinches and glares fiercely at Sokka. “I just did, okay! I don’t want to talk about this subject anymore,” he snaps.</p>
<p>Sokka blinks. “Ohhkay,” he says slowly and decides to change the subject. “What about education in the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks more angry (if that’s even possible). “Why do you need to know that?”</p>
<p>“I just do. A deal’s a deal, <em> Zuko </em>,” Sokka says spitefully, crossing his arms.</p>
<p>Zuko looks a little startled and pink but still glares at him. “This is stupid, I shouldn’t be telling you things about the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>“We made a deal! And what can I even do with information about fashion in the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>Zuko glares harder and Sokka swears his clothes are sizzling from that gaze alone. “How stupid you think I am?”</p>
<p>Sokka fights the urge to say that he thinks Zuko’s pretty stupid and instead says calmly but sternly, “A. Deal. Is. A. Deal.” Sokka crosses his legs and shifts to get more comfortable. “Now, tell me about the education of the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>Zuko crosses his arms. “How is it fair that I have to tell you stuff about the Fire Nation and you don’t tell me anything in return?”</p>
<p>Sokka throws his arms up in the air. “Who said anything about fair? We made a deal: you tell me about the Fire Nation and I don’t rat you out. That seems fair enough. And what would I even tell you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Zuko says defensively, “but I’m not going to tell you this kind of stuff. I can tell that you’re planning what you can do with this information, the innocent act won’t work on me; I know you’re smart.”</p>
<p>Sokka does not feel pleased at the almost (not even) compliment. He does not. He also does not blush a little. Absolutely not. Nor does he stare at the way Zuko realizes what he said and the way Zuko’s cheeks pink and how nice and soft it looks against his pale skin and the light of the lamp.</p>
<p>He does none of those things (at least that’s what he thinks, that’s what he tells himself).</p>
<p>“We made a deal, Zuko,” Sokka says and notices how Zuko flushes even more when Sokka says his name. He did that before didn’t he? He looked startled and pink after Sokka said his name before. Sokka doesn’t pause to try and figure out what that means. “You’re going back on our deal. Now. Tell me what kind of education you have in the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him for a long time and doesn’t say anything.</p>
<p>Sokka sighs. “Ugh, okay. Forget education,” he says and then adds under his breath, “<em> for now </em>.” Zuko still stares at him and Sokka has to fight the urge to throw his boomerang at Zuko. He decides to change tactics. “What do you like to eat in the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>Zuko blinks. “What type of food we have in the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>Sokka shakes his head. “No. I mean what do <em> you </em> like to eat.”</p>
<p>Zuko blinks multiple times. “What...what <em> I </em> like to eat?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Sokka nods. “What’s <em> your </em> favourite food from the Fire Nation,” a pause, “Zuko,” he says slowly, trying something out and – there it is. Zuko jumps the smallest bit when Sokka says his name and he’s pink all over again. He’s quiet for a while, his face blank and his eyes wide, and Sokka, who is sitting <em> pretty </em> far from Zuko, can feel the waves of warmth coming off of Zuko. Sokka’s not entirely sure why Zuko reacts like that or <em> what </em> it even is but he’s going to file it away for later, he knows it’s something important. </p>
<p>Zuko’s still silent, he looks like his brain just went blank. This is not what Sokka had been expecting when saying Zuko’s name. He waves a hand in front of Zuko’s face. “Zuko?”</p>
<p>Zuko blinks and then scowls, glaring at Sokka. “Why do you need to know my favourite food?”</p>
<p>Sokka shrugs. “I just do. It’s not really a big deal, just tell me what your favourite food is.” Sokka props his hand on his chin, smirking. “Or does Prince Angsty Jerkbender not have a favourite food?” he asks teasingly. </p>
<p>“Don’t call me that. I’m not a prince anymore,” Zuko snaps. “And I do have a favourite food...it’s just. Not important. You don’t need to know that.”</p>
<p>“I know what I need to know and you don’t. Tell me your favourite food or else,” he says threateningly (or what he thinks is threateningly), brandishing his brush in Zuko’s face. </p>
<p>Zuko pushes the brush out of the way. “My uncle likes roast duck so I had a lot of that, but,” he pauses for a moment, face and tone getting softer, “my mother loved this dish called Loco Moco, she’d want it for dinner every night. It’s from her hometown, she made it for me a few times but she always said that they made it much better where she was from. Whenever she would...whenever she would make it it would be a special day. We’d sneak into the kitchen in the night and she’d make it and I always tried to help but ended up just getting stuff all over myself; Azula would join us, sometimes, before she really got into her firebending training. And I –” he stops all of a sudden and the soft expression on his face is replaced with his usual scowl. </p>
<p>Sokka furrows his brows, confused as to why Zuko stopped. “Hello?” he motions for Zuko to continue. “And you what?”</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Zuko snaps. “That’s enough.”</p>
<p>Is Zuko going to be like this every time? Is he seriously going to stay stuff and then just get mad and stop?</p>
<p>“Why? How is that enough?” Sokka asks angrily, Zuko really can’t keep doing this. </p>
<p>“I said that’s all I want to say on this subject! So enough!” Zuko all but <em> yells </em> (honestly, does he know what quiet means?) and Sokka decides to let the subject matter drop. </p>
<p>“Ohhkay, so I’ll just write down...Loco Moco for your favourite food?” Sokka asks, holding his brush just above his journal. </p>
<p>“Well, no. That’s not exactly my favourite food, it’s actually – why do you even need to write down my favourite food?”</p>
<p>Sokka throws his hands up in the air. “For Spirits sake, Zuko, <em> what </em> is wrong with you? Stop asking questions and just answer!”</p>
<p>Zuko looks a little shocked and he’s pink again but he’s still scowling. “Fine. My favourite food is just the traditional spicy fire noodles. Happy now?”</p>
<p>Sokka nods. “Very,” he says, jotting down Zuko’s favourite food and deciding that Zuko hasn’t had enough teasing yet. “So just plain old spicy fire noodles? Who knew Prince Zuko was such a basic and boring person?”</p>
<p>Zuko huffs indignantly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p>
<p>Sokka shrugs, a smile playing at his lips. “It’s just that ‘spicy fire noodles’ are basic. Even I know about them and I’ve only been to the Fire Nation twice.”</p>
<p>“They’re not basic! Wait – when were you in the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>Sokka raises an eyebrow. “We went to this Fire Nation festival thing where you had to wear these masks and the first time we were in the Fire Nation you were there. When we went to Avatar Roku’s temple and then Zhao found us – you know, I always wondered what happened to him. We haven’t seen him since the North Pole.”</p>
<p>“Blue-fish spirit took him,” Zuko says flatly. </p>
<p>“<em> What </em>?”</p>
<p>“A blue-fish spirit took him. We were fighting and he didn’t want to take my hand. I don’t wanna talk about it.”</p>
<p>Sokka blinks multiple times. “You – <em> what </em>? You two were fighting and when he was in trouble you offered your hand?”</p>
<p>“Yes? I don’t understand what’s so important about this.”</p>
<p>Sokka stares at Zuko. “It’s – nothing. Just that Zhao is – <em> was </em> shitty and he was pretty shitty to you and then you two were <em> fighting </em> and he was in trouble but you still offered your hand. That’s...I dunno. But that’s kinda not horrible.”</p>
<p>“Thanks?” Zuko says, raising his eyebrow at Sokka. </p>
<p>Sokka looks down at his notes, examining them. “Okay. Okay, I think I’ve got enough for today. I’ll be back tomorrow. Probably. If Katara doesn’t make me late again.”</p>
<p>“Um. Okay,” Zuko says awkwardly, it’s amazing how he can </p>
<p>go from yelling at Sokka to being super awkward. </p>
<p>Sokka nods and starts to leave the room when Zuko yells “Wait!” Sokka turns to see Zuko looking at him, a worried expression on his pale face. Sokka raises an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>“You’re not – you’re not going to tell your friends and the Avatar that I’m here right? I don’t think –”</p>
<p>“Relax, man,” Sokka says casually. “I’m not going to tell them anything. Toph already knows you’re here and she won’t say anything. You can chill out.”</p>
<p>Sokka turns away and opens the door, going to leave the apartment. He bumps into an old man who Sokka recognizes to be Zuko’s uncle. </p>
<p>“Ah,” Zuko’s uncle says happily. “Sokka isn’t it? I think my nephew likes you very much, it is a good thing that you two have decided to spend some time together.”</p>
<p>Sokka resists the urge to smack his forehead. <em> Why </em> does everyone think he and Zuko like each other? It’s the complete opposite!</p>
<p>“No, no!” Sokka says hurriedly. “It’s not like that. With Zuko. It will most definitely never be like that. We don’t – just no.”</p>
<p>He pushes past Zuko’s uncle carefully and leaves the apartment, shaking himself off and ignoring the old man’s chuckles. </p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>When Sokka gets back to the Upper Ring he’s greeted with Katara, Aang, and Toph staring at him accusingly in the house. Well, Toph isn’t even looking at him; she’s lying down on one of the pillows merely looking bored. And Aang is just looking at him worriedly. So it’s really just Katara that’s looking at him accusingly. </p>
<p>“Where have you been?” Katara demands, her hair loopies swishing in anger. </p>
<p>“I was at a meat place in the Middle Ring, I told you this morning,” Sokka says in what he hopes is a casual voice. </p>
<p>“You’ve been gone forever,” Katara says angrily, “and you weren’t even at a meat place in the Middle Ring. Aang went to go look for you because you were gone forever and he says you weren’t there –”</p>
<p>Sokka interrupts Katara, “How could he have checked the entire Middle Ring?”</p>
<p>“You weren’t there!” Katara shouts, pointing an angry finger at him. “Aang said there weren’t even any meat places in the Middle Ring.”</p>
<p>Sokka blanches, he hadn’t expected them to <em> investigate </em>. “I was – uh – I was –”</p>
<p>“He was with his secret boyfriend,” Toph interjects, shoving a small pastry in her mouth. </p>
<p>“No I wasn’t!”</p>
<p>“Yes you were,” Toph says with a smirk. </p>
<p>“No I wasn’t!” Sokka repeats. </p>
<p>“Oh, Sokka,” Katara says, putting a hand over her heart. “If you were just going to see your boyfriend you only had to say so.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t! I don’t have a secret boyfriend!”</p>
<p>“He’s lying,” Toph sing-songs. </p>
<p>“How do you know,” Katara asks, turning to Toph. </p>
<p>“I can feel his heart rate and he’s <em> lying </em>,” she explains, a wide grin on her face. </p>
<p>“The monks always said that all love is sacred, no matter the gender or nation,” Aang says, looking at Sokka with a soft and supportive look. </p>
<p>On any other day, Sokka might appreciate this but right now he does <em> not </em>. </p>
<p>“Can we meet him?” Katara asks excitedly. </p>
<p>“No!” Sokka says without thinking, now confirming the whole boyfriend shit. “No you can’t – I mean he doesn’t even exist. I don’t have a boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Is he from the Lower Ring? He has to be, seeing as you weren't in the Middle Ring.  What does he look like? Is he cute?”</p>
<p>Sokka’s mind automatically supplies images of Zuko <em> without </em> his permission ( <em> Zuko in the soft lamplight, Zuko blushing profusely, Zuko smiling awkwardly at Jin, Zuko startling and flushing at the mention of his name, Zuko – </em>shut up brain). Sokka looks at his sister with a flat look; Katara’s eyes are shining with excitement and Sokka just can’t bring himself to tell her that he doesn’t actually have a boyfriend. </p>
<p>“Uhm. No, you can’t meet him. Yes, he is from the Lower Ring. No, I’m not telling you what he looks like. And no – y – yes he is cute.”</p>
<p>Zuko is, under no circumstances, cute but Sokka can’t very well say that his “boyfriend” <em> isn’t </em> cute so...</p>
<p>Katara’s face falls. “Why can’t we meet him?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, why not?” Aang asks, a disappointed look on his face. “Why don’t you want us to meet him?”</p>
<p>“Uh,” Sokka blanks, scrambling for words, “because he’s...shy and he’s not ready to tell people about us yet.”</p>
<p>Katara and Aang nod. “You should tell him that we’d love to meet him, though,” Aang says. </p>
<p>Sokka nods, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Yeah. Of course. I’ll...do that.”</p>
<p>When Aang and Katara turn away Sokka turns straight to Toph, glaring at her even though he knows she can’t see it. </p>
<p>“<em> Why </em> would you do that? Zuko isn’t my boyfriend and now Aang and Katara think I’m going to see my ‘boyfriend’ in the Lower Ring.”</p>
<p>Toph shrugs. “You didn’t want Twinkle Toes and Sweetness to know so now I got them off your back, I don’t see the problem. It shouldn’t be too hard for you to pretend Zuko’s your boyfriend, you already think he’s cute.”</p>
<p>Sokka turns red against his will. “I do not!”</p>
<p>But Toph just ignores him. </p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number two </em></p>
<p>Yesterday was sort of a disaster. Partly because Sokka didn’t get that many good notes on the Fire Nation and partly because of the whole boyfriend thing (which he is decidedly not going to think about or mention to Zuko). So Sokka has a plan. It’s technically the same plan as yesterday, he’s going to butter Zuko up but instead of starting with questions about the Fire Nation he’s going to do something else. </p>
<p>“I don’t know a lot about you,” Sokka says, getting comfortable on Zuko’s small bed. </p>
<p>“And?” Zuko says, unimpressed. </p>
<p>“Well I think I should know stuff about you.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes flash and it would’ve been scary had Sokka not been staring at how nice his eyes look in the lamplight. “I’m not telling you anything about me.”</p>
<p>Sokka sighs. What a weirdo. “Listen, it would just make everything more comfortable for me <em> and </em> for you. If you tell me stuff about yourself then I’ll...” Zuko raises an eyebrow, “...I’ll tell you the same things about me in return.”</p>
<p><em> Wait, what? Uh-uh, Sokka, that’s not a good idea </em>, the horrible and truthful voice in the back of his head says. Sokka tells the voice to relax, he won’t tell Zuko anything actually important. </p>
<p>“Why would I care about that kind of stuff?” Zuko asks flatly and Sokka is <em> not </em> hurt by his words. </p>
<p>“It’s just fair and it makes sense,” Sokka says exasperatedly. “<em> Please </em>, Zuko.”</p>
<p>Zuko jumps a bit. “Fine. Whatever.”</p>
<p>Sokka files that back where it belongs. He’s not sure what it means but he’s going to figure it out. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Sokka says happily. “First of all. How old are you?”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him before sighing dramatically. “Sixteen,” he answers.</p>
<p>“I’m fifteen.” Zuko scoffs like he doesn’t care (which he doesn’t) but Sokka pays that no attention. “What’s your favourite colour?”</p>
<p>“Uhm,” Zuko bites his lip. “I’ve, uh, never really thought about it.”</p>
<p>“If you say red, Zuko, I swear to the Spirits that I’m going to scream.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks at him, gold eyes locking with blue eyes and takes a small breath. “I guess. Blue is my favourite colour.”</p>
<p>And suddenly everything feels too personal and it feels like they’re too close to each other and the small bedroom is constricting and Zuko’s staring at him saying that his favourite colour is blue.</p>
<p>Sokka fights the urge to ask why Zuko’s favourite colour is blue and just answers the question himself, “I don’t really have a favourite colour, I wouldn’t be able to choose. Do you play any instruments?”</p>
<p>“How is it fair that I had to tell you my favourite colour but you just said that you don’t have any?”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes. “I was being truthful! I don’t have a favourite colour and I mean I guess it would be blue because Water Tribe and all that but it isn’t really blue. I just don’t have a favourite colour!”</p>
<p>Zuko heaves a deep breath and then answers the previous question, “I don’t play instruments.”</p>
<p>Sokka furrows his brows. “You don’t? Your uncle does, though, I remember him saying something about music night on your ship once. I thought that all royal family members would know how to play an instrument.”</p>
<p>“I know how to,” Zuko snaps. “I just don’t play.”</p>
<p>“What instruments do you know how to play?”</p>
<p>“My – my mother made me take tsungi horn lessons when I was small,” Zuko says quietly. “I can play the tsungi horn, I guess. Uncle always tries to make me play it.”</p>
<p>“Mhmm, mhmm,” Sokka nods, jotting this down. “How many family members do you have?”</p>
<p>Zuko raises an eyebrow. “Don’t you already know the answer to that question?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I didn’t even know you had a sister until recently so maybe you’re hiding another sibling up your sleeve?”</p>
<p>Zuko rolls his eyes. “No. I’m not. It’s just Azula, my...father...and my...mother. Or. It was my mother. She’s...not around anymore.”</p>
<p>Sokka doesn’t miss the pauses and how hesitant Zuko’s voice is but he doesn’t comment on it. “Same,” he says, an easy grin slipping on his face. “Just my sister Katara and my dad. My mom died in a Fire Nation Raid,” the last sentence slips out without a second thought and Sokka clamps his mouth shut. Why did he say that? Why would he tell <em> Zuko </em> that? </p>
<p>Against his will, he locks eyes with Zuko (blue against gold, gold against blue, sky against sun, fire against water, winter against summer – <em> what the fuck, brain? Stop it </em>) and there’s something in his molten gold eyes, sympathy maybe? Zuko doesn’t say anything to answer what Sokka said. Not “I’m sorry” or “I understand” or any of the things that Sokka got so used to hearing (it’s comforting, actually. That Zuko doesn’t say anything, but Sokka won’t admit it to himself). </p>
<p>Sokka looks away.</p>
<p>“So,” Sokka clears his throat, feeling weird and shaken, “next question. What do you do for fun?”</p>
<p>Without missing a beat, Zuko says, “Firebending and sword training.”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes. “For fun, idiot. <em> Training </em> isn’t fun.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Zuko admits. “I’ve never really done anything for fun.”</p>
<p>“That is so sad and dumb. Come on,” Sokka inists, “you’ve got to like to do <em> something </em>.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, I mean...I guess that I...well – my mother used to take me to the theater, I guess I like theater? I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Sokka doesn’t smile at what Zuko says because that would be weird. </p>
<p>“Great,” he says writing this down. “<em> I </em> like to draw for fun, I guess? I like making maps and planning things, it’s...just fun.” </p>
<p>Zuko raises an eyebrow. “Planning things isn’t exactly fun,” he states, crossing his arms. </p>
<p>Sokka glares at him. “<em> Hey </em> ! Your idea of fun was <em> training </em>, I’m allowed to like to plan for fun.”</p>
<p>Zuko opens his mouth and closes it again, Sokka smiles a little in satisfaction.</p>
<p>Zuko looks at him. “Why are you doing this?”</p>
<p>“Doing what?”</p>
<p>“Asking all these questions! I’ve accepted that you’ll only leave Uncle and I alone if I answer your questions about the Fire Nation but why are you asking questions about me?” Zuko asks irritatedly. “I don’t understand. Why do you need to know things about me?”</p>
<p>“I don’t,” Sokka says simply, “but getting to know you better will help your case with this whole thing and I could maybe just leave you and your uncle alone.”</p>
<p>Zuko crosses his arms. “That’s stupid.”</p>
<p>“No it’s not,” Sokka says defensively. “Now. Next question. What season is your birthday in?”</p>
<p>Zuko raises an eyebrow and gives Sokka an unimpressed look. “In the winter, it was the winter solstice. How is any of this relevant?”</p>
<p>Sokka ignores the last comment. “My birthday’s in the summer, it was on the summer solstice.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks startled and confused which is exactly how Sokka feels. </p>
<p>How is it that Prince Zuko, firebender, next in line for the throne, was born on the winter solstice and Sokka, Water Tribesman, son of the chief, was born on the summer solstice?</p>
<p>Sokka never really thought about his birthday that much, it was never important with everything going on. Sure, he celebrates it every year but he’s never thought much about it being on the summer solstice. Zuko, though, Zuko’s birthday being on the <em> winter solstice </em> is weird. Sokka doesn’t know much about the Fire Nation but he’s not stupid, Fire Nation people are all obsessed with honour and Agni and the sun. So to have Zuko be born in the winter when winter starts is just plain weird. </p>
<p>“I thought all firebenders were born in the summer, Agni’s blessing and all that?” Sokka asks Zuko, tilting his head. </p>
<p>Zuko tenses and turns to glare at Sokka, gold eyes flashing. “Well I wasn’t,” he says bluntly. “I think you should go. You’ve asked enough for today.”</p>
<p>“<em> What </em>? No I haven’t. I’ve barely asked you anything and I still have so many more things to ask,” Sokka all but yells, outraged.</p>
<p>“Too bad,” Zuko says. “You’re leaving now.”</p>
<p>Sokka starts to get up and Zuko starts to get up too, probably to lead him out (Sokka had informed Zuko of his little encounter with Iroh and Zuko, to say the least, got annoyed) but Sokka’s not done yet. In a fast movement, Sokka pins Zuko to the small bed, his hand encircled around Zuko’s pale and warm wrist (this is seriously becoming a habit. Sokka’s hand is getting tired of Zuko’s wrist) and Sokka wonders if his next question for Zuko should be to ask if he’s constantly running a fever. The hand that is <em> not </em> pinning Zuko’s wrist to the bed is somehow buried in Zuko’s (very soft) dark hair, Sokka <em> doesn’t </em> think about how nice and soft it is and he doesn’t think about how nice it would feel to run his fingers through it and he definitely doesn’t think about how Zuko’s hair looks golden and brown in the lamplight and how pretty it is (well. He does but he doesn’t actually know he does). </p>
<p>“<em> What </em> are you doing?” Zuko breathes, his face pink. </p>
<p>Okay so maybe Sokka didn’t really think this through but Zuko wouldn’t listen to him so he just did what came to mind. “I’m not leaving,” he says cockily, grinning. “We made a deal and you keep trying to go back on it, <em> Zuko </em> . I get to ask you whatever I want – I mean except stuff about the Fire Nation military because you won’t tell me that stuff – and you can’t keep trying to make me leave every time you get a <em> wittle </em> upset,” Sokka says the last part in a baby voice, making it sound like he’s talking to a child just to annoy Zuko. “It’s getting so annoying with you constantly making me leave after you’ve had enough. The sooner you comply, the sooner I leave you and your uncle alone.”</p>
<p>“You can’t talk to me like that,” Zuko says angrily.</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Sokka tilts his head, grin still planted on his face, looking down at Zuko, “last time I checked, I can. You’re not the boss of me.”</p>
<p>Zuko growls, <em> honestly </em> growls. “I should never have agreed to this.”</p>
<p>“Should’ve thought it through then, jerk, I can be <em> very </em> annoying –”</p>
<p>“Prince Zuko? Are you in there?” a voice asks and Sokka freezes as he hears the door open, grin slipping off his face. Both he and Zuko turn to find General Iroh, Dragon of the Spirits-damn West, standing in the doorway. “Oh,” Iroh says and then a smile breaks onto his face. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”</p>
<p>“No, wait!” Sokka’s cheeks heat. Why does this keep happening to him?</p>
<p>“Uncle!” Zuko calls after him, face flaming red. </p>
<p>But Iroh’s already leaving, closing the door behind him. </p>
<p>Zuko pushes Sokka off of him and they glare at each other. “This is all your fault,” they say at the same time. If Sokka wasn’t so embarrassed right now he would’ve laughed at that. </p>
<p>“<em> My </em> fault! How is it my fault?” Zuko asks angrily.</p>
<p>“You could’ve told your uncle that I was over or – or you could’ve locked the door!”</p>
<p>“Why would I have done any of that?</p>
<p><em> “I don’t know </em>,” Sokka says. “But now he probably thinks we were going to fuck or something!”</p>
<p>“You don’t need to be so crass,” Zuko says, annoyed.</p>
<p>“Oh don’t lecture me about being crass, I hang around with three kids and I never get to swear so let me be.” Sokka brushes a piece of hair out of his eyes. “And the amount of times I’ve heard you swear under your breath is enough to tell that you don’t get to say that to me.”</p>
<p>“I’m only saying you didn’t have to phrase it that way.”</p>
<p>“Whatever. Just. Onto the next question.”</p>
<p>“The next question?” Zuko hisses, confused and annoyed. “There will be no next question. You’ve gotten enough information for today.”</p>
<p>“Yeah no,” Sokka says. “Not happening. You already know you can’t get rid of me.”</p>
<p>Zuko huffs and glares at him, Sokka takes this as a victory and starts on the next question. “Do you have any pet peeves?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Zuko says almost instantly, still glaring at him. “People that are annoying and don’t leave you alone.” He looks pointedly at Sokka, Sokka ignores the comment aimed towards him. </p>
<p>“<em> My </em> pet peeve is people taking your food without asking, absolutely terrible,” he shudders. “Indoors or outdoors person?”</p>
<p>“Outdoors,” Zuko says shortly and Sokka tries not to be disappointed. He’d thought that question would get something <em> deep </em> or whatever out of Zuko. </p>
<p>“Me too. Morning person or night person?”</p>
<p>“Morning person,” Zuko answers with a dramatic sigh.</p>
<p>“I’m neither, y’know, I hate staying up too late and I hate waking up early unless I get a good night’s sleep.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Zuko says in a bored voice. </p>
<p>Sokka ignores the tone of his voice. “Favourite place in the world?” he asks. This question he put a lot of thought into. It seemed like the question that would get Zuko to open up more and loosen up. </p>
<p>Zuko’s stills for a moment. “Um. Well, there’s the turtle-duck pond at the palace. I haven’t seen it in years but it’s beautiful and sparkling, with turtle-ducks swimming back and forth.” A fond expression crosses his face. “My mother used to sit with me and we’d feed the turtle-ducks together.”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles. It sounds sweet and that expression on Zuko’s face is so soft and fond that, just for a moment, Sokka forgets that he’s <em> Zuko </em> and that he’s not an awkward Earth Kingdom guy who misses his mom. </p>
<p>He’s silent until he realizes that Zuko is staring at him expectantly. “What?” he asks, puzzled. </p>
<p>“Aren’t you going to answer the question?”</p>
<p>Sokka feels a wide grin forming on his face. “Taking an interest in getting to know me, Zuko? You do care!”</p>
<p>Zuko pinks and scoffs. “No I don’t. You just said that you’d answer the questions you asked me so that it’s fair.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Sokka says disbelievingly. “Well, <em> since you’re so interested </em> , <em> my </em> favourite place in the world is near the South Pole. There’s this small area just past the actual tribe that’s always got sparkling snow and you can watch the sunset perfectly from the icy hill. We’d always go when I was small, Mom and Dad used to take me and Katara almost every day.”</p>
<p>They lapse into a comfortable silence and although Sokka knows he’s got to ask his next questions, he sits in the silence with Zuko, and it’s kind of comforting. Sitting with Zuko after talking about their respective mothers. </p>
<p>Maybe they’re not so different after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>for those of you who don’t know (this is explained in the rise of kyoshi novel) losers of an agni kai shave parts of their head bald and leave a patch of hair as an act of humility from their defeat, explaining zuko’s hairstyle in the first season. and zuko obviously doesn’t wanna talk about that</p>
<p>zuko’s favourite colour is blue because it’s the colour of sokka’s eyes but he doesn’t know that that’s why he thinks it’s because of all that time spent out at sea and because of the blue spirit and sokka’s favourite colour is gold :) because i’m a romantic like that (even tho me and my bf aren’t like that, my favourite colour is lilac and his is blue… my eyes are brown and his are blue)</p>
<p>the bed pinning scene… wasn’t even supposed to happen. i literally didn’t plan to write that at all but it just happened. </p>
<p>this fic is just “all the times sokka and zuko got caught doing *something* when they weren’t actually doing something”</p>
<p>is zuko’s character ooc??? cause i feel like it is, pls tell me if it is</p>
<p>next chapter features: an embarrassed sixteen year old, iroh !!! , and embarrassing stories</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. discussing current events</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 3</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy new year !! i hope you all stayed safe and had a fun time :)</p>
<p>the aesthetic/collage for this chapter accidentally turned into one from zuko's perspective but like whatevs</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p><strike><em>date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number five </em></p>
<p>Sokka knocks on Zuko’s apartment door, holding his green bag tightly, waiting for Zuko to answer the door. </p>
<p>The door opens revealing an old man in a simple green robe and Sokka blinks at Zuko’s uncle. Usually Zuko answers the door, it’s never Iroh. </p>
<p>“Oh, hi –” Sokka starts to say but he’s interrupted by Zuko rushing towards the door. </p>
<p>“Uncle – I was just about to –”</p>
<p>Iroh laughs. “It’s okay, nephew. I just opened it and I was pleased to see dear Sokka.” He moves to the side to let Sokka in and Sokka walks into the small apartment. “I was just putting on a pot of tea, would you like some?”</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko says instantly,without even consulting him.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Sokka interjects with a casual smile. “I’d love some.”</p>
<p>Iroh smiles happily and hurries away. Zuko glares at him and Sokka shrugs innocently. Over the last few days, Sokka has realized that Zuko is <em> very </em> dramatic and very adamant that his uncle be left out of everything. </p>
<p>
  <em> “Why?” Sokka asked at their third meeting. “Why does it matter if he knows?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Zuko glared at him. “It does. I don’t want him knowing that I’m doing this.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Doing what?” </em>
</p>
<p><em> “ </em> This <em> !” Zuko gestured at the two of them. “I don’t want him to know that I’m telling you all this stuff.” </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “You can’t keep him in the dark forever, Zuko, he’s going to find out.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Zuko scoffed. “You don’t have to sound so dramatic about it.” </em>
</p>
<p>That’s rich<em> , Sokka thought, </em> calling <em> me </em> dramatic <em> . </em></p>
<p>Sokka sits down at a small table while Iroh sets down some tea for him; it’s seriously the best tea Sokka’s ever had and he doesn’t even like tea that much. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you and my nephew are friends, he rarely gets to hang around with kids his own age,” Iroh says. </p>
<p>“We’re not friends,” Zuko cuts in sharply. Sokka finds it very amusing how agitated he is right now. </p>
<p>“Yes, yes, of course,” Iroh says. “You know, Sokka, on the ferry ride here there was this boy around Zuko’s age whom my nephew was <em> very </em> taken with,” he laughs and winks at Sokka. Sokka’s grinning so wide that it hurts. </p>
<p>“<em> Really </em>?” he asks, turning to Zuko, grin still in place. </p>
<p>“Uncle!” Zuko hisses, face pink. “He’s lying,” Zuko says desperately to Sokka, “that's not true.”</p>
<p>“No, Zuko, it definitely was,” Iroh says, chuckling.</p>
<p>“What was this guy’s name?” Sokka asks delightedly. </p>
<p>“Hmm,” Iroh strokes his beard, “Jet, I think. Wasn’t it, Zuko?”</p>
<p>Sokka’s mouth drops open. “<em> Jet </em>?” he asks disbelievingly, grin back in full force. Now he understands why Zuko blushed at Jet’s name back when they first made their deal.</p>
<p>Zuko’s cheeks are flaming red now (pun intended). “No! Well I mean yes – but it wasn’t like that – and we only fooled around a little bit – it wasn’t anything – I wasn’t ‘taken’ with him – and then there was the whole fight and then he was taken away by the Dai Li – it wasn’t –”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you and Jet – you know! First Katara and now you! What do you people see in him? He’s just plain weird looking and his eyebrows make no sense.”</p>
<p>“He’s not weird looking!” Zuko yells defensively before flushing even more red and clamping his mouth shut. </p>
<p>Sokka laughs, big and loud and real, a laugh he hasn’t laughed in a while and Iroh laughs with him. “Yeah he is,” Sokka says. “Jet is so weird.”</p>
<p>Zuko scowls. “Whatever. I don’t want to talk about this.”</p>
<p>And he’s back to being closed off and annoyed, Sokka tries not to feel disappointed. This is their fifth meeting and Sokka isn’t even that close in getting Zuko to loosen up. Zuko has these moments where he’ll let go and start talking, where he’ll chill for a little bit and he’ll just talk to Sokka; but then he closes off and gets angry. It’s like he’s scared to just let go and be himself. </p>
<p>“Come on, nephew,” Iroh says, looking at Zuko with a lighthearted expression, “don’t be like that. We’re just joking around.”</p>
<p>Sokka grins, he’s really starting to like Iroh. “Yeah, <em> Zuko </em>. We’re just joking around.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s scowl deepens but he’s turned more red and Sokka is <em> so </em> confused by it! Almost every time Sokka says Zuko’s name, Zuko gets startled and Sokka still has no clue why. Sokka files it back to the place where it goes so he doesn’t stress about it and turns to Iroh. </p>
<p>“So, sir –”</p>
<p>“Just call me Iroh,” Iroh corrects kindly and Sokka nods, smiling. </p>
<p>“<em> Iroh </em>,” Sokka opens his bag and pulls out his journal and his brush. “So what was Zuko like as a baby?”</p>
<p>Zuko’s head snaps up. “<em> What </em>?” he says abruptly and moves closer to Sokka. “What are you doing?” he hisses. </p>
<p>“What?” Sokka asks innocently. “I’m asking questions. That’s what this deal is about, Zuko.” He raises an eyebrow. “Did you forget?”</p>
<p>Zuko glares at him. “No, I didn’t,” he whisper-shouts. “But you don’t need to know this stuff!”</p>
<p>“Yeah I do, I’m getting to know you so that I can make sure you’re not plotting anything. Remember?” Sokka doesn’t wait for his (probably angry) response and turns back to Iroh, who had been watching their whispered exchange with amusement and a weird knowing look in his eyes that scares Sokka. “So, Iroh, what was Zuko like as a baby?”</p>
<p>Iroh smiles fondly. “My nephew was a very cute baby, he was so chubby and adorable.”</p>
<p>Zuko puts his head in his hands like a drama queen. </p>
<p>“Zuko loved to play in the sand, he used to always want to just play in the water and the sand whenever we went to Ember Island for a vacation. I used to have some very nice pictures but I don’t think I have them anymore,” Iroh sighs, “a tragedy that they’re gone. Zuko was very cute in them.”</p>
<p>Sokka grins wide. “A tragedy, yes. If you do find them, though, you’ll have to show me.”</p>
<p>Iroh nods and Zuko groans. “Okay,” Zuko says, voice strained. “That’s enough.”</p>
<p>Iroh chuckles, shaking his finger at Zuko. “Oh no, nephew, I’m not done yet.” He turns back to Sokka. “Zuko was a very energetic baby, I often used to say he had a built in spring in his bottom because of all the jumping around he did. He used to love carrying around his sister, too, he was a very kind young boy and when his sister was born he loved picking her up and playing with her. Until she sneezed fire on him and he dropped her, of course, he never wanted to carry her after that.”</p>
<p>“Uncle!” Zuko yells, face so red that you could fry an egg on it. </p>
<p>Sokka laughs. “No, please go on,” he starts to put his brush down but Zuko grabs his wrist, stopping him and making ink drip onto his page. </p>
<p>“You don’t need to write any of this down!” Zuko yells, embarrassed and frustrated but Sokka’s mind goes blank. Because this is the first time <em> Zuko </em> has touched him. Out of all five meetings, Sokka had always initiated contact. Not Zuko. And now he can’t stop thinking about how warm Zuko’s hand is and how nice his calloused fingers feel against his wrist and <em> why </em> is wrist grabbing their thing now. </p>
<p>Sokka clears his throat, feeling very weird. “I <em> do </em> need to write this stuff down, it’s important.” A corner of Sokka’s mouth twitches up. “Especially the part where you had a built in spring in your butt.”</p>
<p>Zuko groans, slapping a hand to his forehead. He reaches for the journal in Sokka’s hands. “Give me that.”</p>
<p>Sokka pulls his arm away. “No!”</p>
<p>“Yes!”</p>
<p>“No, I won’t. It’s my journal,” Sokka says, moving the journal away from Zuko’s grasp. Zuko keeps trying to reach for it and Sokka pulls away, nearly falling off of his chair and then suddenly they’re both on the ground and Zuko is on top of him.</p>
<p>Sokka swallows, looking up at Zuko. Zuko flushes and tries to get up only to lose his balance and fall on Sokka again. Their chests are pressed flush together and Zuko’s arm is around Sokka and – yeah. This is probably not good.</p>
<p>Someone clears their throat and Sokka turns his head, so quickly that he swears he hears something crack, to look at Iroh smiling at the two of them. That weird knowing look in his eye is back and Sokka still doesn’t know what it means. Zuko pushes himself off of Sokka and Sokka gets back in his seat awkwardly and confusedly. He clears his throat and closes his journal. </p>
<p>“Right. I – yes. I can see <em> Zuko </em>,” Sokka shoots a spiteful glance at him, “doesn’t want me to continue asking questions.”</p>
<p>Iroh shakes his head. “Oh no, please don’t stop on my nephew’s account. You are free to ask more questions.”</p>
<p>Sokka can feel Zuko’s glare burning the back of his head so he just smiles at Iroh and shakes his head. “No, it’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Zuko says. “We need to be going anyways.”</p>
<p>Iroh looks a little hurt or maybe Sokka’s seeing things, either way his expression changes and he nods. </p>
<p>Zuko drags Sokka out of the apartment, an annoyed expression on his face.</p>
<p>“Hey!” Sokka yells once they’re outside. “You didn’t even let me finish my tea.”</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Zuko asks bluntly, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. </p>
<p>Sokka furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean,” Zuko moves closer, “what was that in there with my uncle?”</p>
<p>“Drinking tea. With your uncle. And asking him questions.”</p>
<p>“Why did you ask him those questions about me? I just –” Zuko groans in frustration. “I just don’t understand why you keep asking questions about <em> me </em>! I don’t understand you.”</p>
<p>“It’s quite simple, Zuko,” Sokka shrugs. “I just need to understand why you’re here and if you’re plotting something. Asking questions about you helps with that.”</p>
<p>Zuko narrows his eyes. “I don’t trust you.”</p>
<p>Sokka smirks. “Aw, babe, why don’t you trust me?” he teases.</p>
<p>“Don’t call me that,” Zuko snaps, face pink.</p>
<p>On the list of things that Sokka has noticed about Zuko is the fact that Zuko blushes very easily. And he blushes a lot. Sokka has decided to make it his mission to see how much he can make Zuko blush.</p>
<p>“Chill, man, it was just a joke. You’re so uptight.”</p>
<p>“I’m not uptight!” Zuko says defensively. </p>
<p>“You are <em> so </em> uptight, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as uptight as you,” Sokka says, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. “Don’t you ever loosen up?”</p>
<p>“Loosening up is for weak people,” Zuko says almost immediately. “You need to be on the ready for anything.”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes. “That’s stupid.”</p>
<p>Sokka ignores Zuko’s muttered, “You’re stupid”.</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>When Katara looks at him, a little nervously, at dinner and asks, “Will you tell us about him?” Sokka’s mind blanks.</p>
<p>A part of him wishes he <em> does </em> have a secret boyfriend to tell his sister about, only to get that look off her face.</p>
<p>“What?” Sokka asks stupidly.</p>
<p>“It’s just,” Katara says, “you don’t...you don’t talk about him and you don’t talk about this kind of stuff in general. Not anymore. Not after Yue. And. I just want to know about him.”</p>
<p>Sokka’s heart squeezes painfully at the mention of Yue’s name and as he looks at his sister’s nervous expression, he just can’t bring himself to let her down. </p>
<p>Sokka lets out a soft breath. “He’s – he’s awkward,” Sokka tells her, ignoring Toph’s quiet snicker. “He blushes really easily, and I mean <em> really easily </em>. He likes...theater and he can play the tsungi horn. He likes spicy food? And his favourite colour is blue.”</p>
<p>Katara smiles. “What’s his name?” she asks excitedly.</p>
<p>Sokka pauses for a moment before saying, “Li. His name is Li.”</p>
<p>“Li,” Katara echoes, “that’s a nice name. He sounds sweet.”</p>
<p>“I think it’s awesome that you have a boyfriend, Sokka,” Aang pipes in brightly. “It’s so cool how you’ve found love during the war!”</p>
<p>Sokka feels his face grow hot. “I mean it’s not like we <em> love </em> each other – we only started dating a few days ago and – and – <em> love </em> is a strong word –  and I –”</p>
<p>“Okay, Sokka, calm down,” Katara says, looking at him weird. “You don’t need to get all worked up.”</p>
<p>“I’m not worked up!” Sokka denies.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Katara says disbelievingly. </p>
<p>Toph snickers again and Sokka glares at her. It’s all <em> her </em> fault he’s in this mess. He is <em> so </em> never going to mention this to Zuko. </p>
<p>“When are you going to bring him to meet us?” Katara asks.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Sokka blanks. “I...don’t know. I dunno if he’s ready yet and we haven’t exactly been dating that long.”</p>
<p>Aang nods. “I can respect that. If Li isn’t ready that’s fine.”</p>
<p>Sokka really loves this kid and he hates that he’s lying to him. He hates that he’s lying to <em> both </em> of them.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’ll...tell him that.” No he won’t.</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p><strike><em> date </em></strike> <em> meeting number six </em></p>
<p>“What’s going on here?” Zuko asks the second he enters the apartment.</p>
<p>Sokka doesn’t take his eyes off the Pai Sho board and he guesses that Iroh probably doesn’t as well.</p>
<p>When Sokka had knocked on the apartment door, Iroh had told him that Zuko was at work and that he would be back soon. Iroh suggested playing a game of Pai Sho and after teaching Sokka the rules, Sokka quickly picked it up.</p>
<p>“Shh, nephew,” Iroh says, his fingers hovering over the board. “We are playing, do not interrupt us. Sokka here is a very quick learner and is doing very well against me for someone who has never played Pai Sho before. He is very smart, you could learn from him, Zuko.”</p>
<p>Zuko makes an annoyed noise and Sokka lets out a small huff of a laugh, moving a tile on the board.</p>
<p>Iroh chuckles and moves a tile. “Looks like I win,” he says happily. “But keep practicing, Sokka, you have a natural talent. Maybe you can be the one to teach my nephew, I have tried for many years.”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles at the old man. “Maybe.”</p>
<p>Zuko groans and a wide smile appears on Iroh’s face. “I was just telling Sokka this funny story about how you used to climb the trees in the garden every time your sister would –”</p>
<p>“Okay! Enough!” Zuko interrupts. “Uncle, you don’t need to keep telling Sokka...<em> stories </em> about me.”</p>
<p>“I don't need to, nephew, but I like to. And Sokka seems very interested in learning about you,” Iroh says, raising his eyebrows suggestively and Sokka doesn’t waste time thinking about that. Iroh gets up to leave. “I must be retiring now, these old joints need a rest.”</p>
<p>Zuko drags Sokka to his room when Iroh lies down on the couch and practically throws him on the bed, closing the door.</p>
<p>“You can’t keep doing this!” Zuko says frustratedly.</p>
<p>Sokka looks at him, tilting his head. “Doing what?”</p>
<p>“Hanging out with my uncle! He’s going to get attached to you.”</p>
<p>“What’s <em> that </em> supposed to mean?”</p>
<p>“It means,” Zuko continues exasperatedly, “that he likes you and then once <em> this </em>,” he gestures at the two of them, “is over, he’ll be sad and keep telling me to make more friends like you.”</p>
<p>Sokka rolls his eyes. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” he says flatly. “Are you sure you’re not just jealous that I’m spending more time with your uncle than you?” Sokka adds teasingly. Zuko opens his mouth furiously but Sokka cuts across him, “Listen, Zuko, you just need to chill. Stop freaking out. I’m here to stop you from planning shit and to stop you from capturing Aang. I’m not doing anything else. If you want me to leave you and your uncle alone, you’re going to have to listen to me. Loosen up and stop worrying so much, less uptightness. Show me the real Zuko, and if the real Zuko isn’t a jerk with a ponytail who wants to capture my friend then I might just leave you alone.”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him for a moment and Sokka tries not to shrink under the gaze of Zuko’s bright gold eyes. Finally, Zuko looks away, scowling.</p>
<p>“I don’t want you to know the real me,” Zuko mutters. “The real me isn’t worth knowing.” He says it so quietly that Sokka’s not sure he’s hearing him right. But Zuko is finally opening up and letting Sokka <em> see </em> him (whether he knows he’s doing it or not) and Sokka is not about to fuck this up. He needs Zuko to trust him and let him in (he doesn’t, actually. None of this is part of the plan; the whole getting to know and understanding Zuko. But the more Sokka sees little glimpses of <em> Zuko </em> and not an angry prince, the more he can’t help but want to get Zuko to trust him). </p>
<p>Sokka moves a little closer, careful of not getting into Zuko’s space too much, and when Zuko doesn’t flinch away or get angry, he stays there. He’s not sure what to say, he’s not about to <em> comfort </em> the enemy, but he’s also not going to let Zuko think that about himself. Zuko may be – in Sokka’s eyes – a horrible person but he doesn’t deserve to think that way (Sokka isn’t sure why he’s not going to let Zuko think that way but he just <em> can’t </em>. Nobody deserves to feel that way about themselves, even Zuko. And Zuko hasn’t done all bad things; like when after they came out of that storm way back, Zuko saw them but didn’t follow them right after; or when he and Zhao fought and he still offered his hand; or when they all cornered Azula and he didn’t even look at them, instead fighting with them; or the fact that he cares so much about his uncle. Not all bad).</p>
<p>“I don’t think you’re qualified to tell me that the real Zuko isn’t worth knowing, you’re a little biased. Y’know with the whole angsty ‘I hate myself’ stuff,” Sokka says slowly. “The real Zuko doesn’t seem <em> that </em> shitty to me.”</p>
<p>Zuko sits up a little straighter and he makes a noise that could be a laugh but Sokka can’t tell. They’re silent for a little bit until Sokka clears his throat and moves away.</p>
<p>“So, um –”</p>
<p>“Can I see that?” Zuko asks, interrupting him (which: <em> rude </em>) and reaching for Sokka’s journal. “I just wanna see what you’ve written.”</p>
<p>“Sure,” he answers slowly. Zuko takes the journal out of Sokka’s hands and flips the pages.</p>
<p>Sokka watches his long fingers turn the pages. He watches the movements of the calloused but gentle fingers flip pages. The way his pale wrist moves and the way his skin looks compared to the yellow of the pages. The way he runs his lean fingers down the page, reading the words and the tracking where he is with his slender fingers. Sokka’s so distracted by his hands and how soft but rough they look, that he doesn’t notice Zuko talking to him.</p>
<p>“Sokka?” Zuko asks and Sokka snaps out of his <em> really weird </em> thoughts.</p>
<p>“What?” he asks stupidly.</p>
<p>Zuko moves closer to Sokka, still holding the journal. “Give me the brush.” He holds out his hand (the hand Sokka just spent the last few minutes staring at) impatiently.</p>
<p>“What? No!” Sokka yanks the brush out of the way. </p>
<p>Zuko huffs. “Fine. I just wanted to say that you drew the Fire Nation symbol wrong on the first page.”</p>
<p>“What? No I didn’t!” Sokka defends.</p>
<p>“Yes you did,” Zuko says impatiently. He reaches for Sokka’s hand, enclosing his own pale hand around Sokka’s wrist and as they touch, something like lightning jolts through Sokka and he startles a little. Zuko doesn’t seem to notice, he just guides Sokka’s hand to the paper, shifting his hand so that it’s not around his wrist and instead around his fingers. He guides Sokka’s hands around, fixing the Fire Nation symbol; adding a swirl in the middle and fixing the flames. Zuko does it so gently that it’s like he’s not Zuko, he looks calm (for once) and <em> soft </em>. A part of Sokka wishes that he could always stay like this, calm and relaxed, fixing a drawing, Zuko’s hand around his. </p>
<p>Zuko lets go.</p>
<p>Sokka tries not to be disappointed at the loss of Zuko’s warm hand and the gentle guidance. He looks down at his paper. “I don’t understand,” Sokka says to Zuko, looking at the new Fire Nation symbol he – he and <em> Zuko </em> – drew. “I’ve never seen this symbol before.” The symbol on his journal is different then what Sokka’s used to seeing. The flames look more natural, less spiky and less sharp, and there’s a spiral in the middle.</p>
<p>“It’s the Fire Nation symbol. Not the insignia, <em> you </em> drew the insignia,” Zuko explains. </p>
<p>“Not really seeing the difference here, man.”</p>
<p>Zuko huffs. “The symbol <em> I </em> drew is the elemental symbol. The insignia represents the military and the ranking. Power, the insignia represents power,” he explains impatiently. “ <em> This </em> symbol is more like a natural flame and there’s a spiral in the middle. The spiral represents the bending and the flow of energy – some say it also represents the Avatar cycle. All the nations’ symbols have a spiral to show that they all tie together in some way.”</p>
<p>Sokka stares at him and Zuko pinks, looking insecure. Sokka never thought he’d hear Zuko say something that wasn’t all about how the Fire Nation is better than all the other nations. Maybe Zuko really has changed. To be saying stuff about the nations being tied together.</p>
<p>“Okay, cool,” Sokka says casually after seeing Zuko's insecure expression. He doesn’t know why Zuko looks insecure but all he can think about is getting that expression off of Zuko’s face (he doesn’t know why he wants to do that either).</p>
<p>Zuko seems to relax a little. Sort of. At least, some of the tension seeps out of his shoulders and Sokka counts that as a victory.</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p><strike><em> date </em></strike> <em> meeting number seven </em></p>
<p>“Why do you...?” Zuko starts to say but he trails off, looking thoughtful.</p>
<p>They’re in Zuko’s room (surprise, surprise). Zuko is sitting on the floor, cross-legged, his hands in his lap, while Sokka’s got his legs on the bed and he’s dangling off the edge, upside down. Sokka had declared that they were no longer going to sit properly and awkwardly on the bed because he was getting so tired of it. </p>
<p>
  <em> It had gone like this. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You know what?” Sokka said loudly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Zuko gave him a deadpan look. “What.” </em>
</p>
<p><em> “I am </em> so <em> tired of this,” Sokka said. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “Tired of what?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Us!” Sokka exclaimed. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Us,” Zuko repeated </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Yeah. Us. Just sitting on your bed stiffly and awkwardly.” Sokka shook his head. “I’m really tired of it, it’s so annoying. We,” he gestured to the two of them, “are not going to be doing that anymore. Nuh-uh. Enough of us sitting properly and stiffly.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka jumped onto Zuko’s bed and lied down, his head dangling off the edge. Zuko stared at him for a moment, looking disbelieving, before sitting down properly and stiffly on the floor. Sokka rolled his eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>Sokka looks at Zuko, his features upside down this way. “Why do I what?” Sokka questions.</p>
<p>“Earlier you...and you’ve done it every time before...I only noticed now...but I –”</p>
<p>“Dude, stop that. It’s weird. C’mon, just tell me.”</p>
<p>Zuko falls silent for a moment before saying, “Every – every time I light the lamps you...you always jump a little. You flinch every time I light the lamps.”</p>
<p>Sokka blinks. He hadn’t known he flinched every time Zuko lit the lamps with firebending. Zuko lights the lamps every time they meet in his room and Sokka’s been flinching each time? He knows why, though, and Zuko should know why too.</p>
<p>He sits up, turning to look at Zuko accusingly. “Why do you think I do that?” Sokka snaps, it comes out harsher than he intended it too but he’s so angry right now. Zuko has the <em> nerve </em> to ask him why he flinches when he sees firebending and he just expects an answer. As <em> if </em> he doesn’t know. He remembers fire used for terrible things; the ash at the South Pole when his mom died; the ash and the flames shot at him, his <em> village </em> , when Zuko came for Aang; flames struck on the koi fish, Yue giving herself up <em> because </em> of those flames; flames shot at them in the sky, flames licking the walls of every Earth Kingdom village they find shelter in, flames in his nightmares; flames – Sokka shudders, cutting those thoughts off and placing them back in the box where they belonged. Those memories aren’t supposed to come out of the box. Ever. He keeps them hidden away with most of the emotions he doesn’t – <em> shouldn’t </em> show.</p>
<p>And now, on top of everything else, he’s mad at himself too. Mad that he’s talking to Zuko, <em> relaxing </em> with Zuko, as if Zuko hasn’t done anything horrible to them. Hasn’t haunted Katara’s – and his – nightmares and hasn’t chased them around the world. Sokka looks back up at Zuko and gets more mad at himself for making Zuko look so taken aback and small.</p>
<p>“I don’t –” Zuko starts to say before cutting himself off. His eye widens and he looks like he’s beating himself up. “Oh. I – I should’ve realized. I’m – I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”</p>
<p>Sokka tries to speak but no words come out because he just heard <em> Zuko </em> apologize and that’s...weird. He had never thought he’d ever hear Zuko apologize for <em> anything </em>. But it’s actually kind of comforting. Zuko apologizing to him and sounding genuine.</p>
<p>Sokka pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them. “I didn’t know that I kept...flinching every time you lit the lamps,” he says, voice frighteningly quiet. Zuko looks at him and Sokka can’t quite put his finger on what kind of expression Zuko is wearing. “Fire...fire...I remember fire used for – for horrible things. It’s weird to see it used for household-y things, like lighting lamps. And it’s not even <em> bad </em>, you using it to light the lamps, it’s just that – that I can’t get rid of the image of firebending used for ev – for bad things.” The words spill out of Sokka before he can even think about it. He’s just saying it and saying it. Telling Zuko things he’s never told anyone.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to –” Zuko cuts himself off, shaking his head. “I won’t use it in front of you if it makes you uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>It’s weird how <em> Zuko </em> is reassuring him and how <em> Zuko </em> doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable when just weeks ago that seemed like his main priority. Seven meetings. In seven meetings, Sokka had learned that Zuko likes theater, can play the tsungi horn, likes spicy fire noodles, is super awkward, is super <em> dramatic </em> , related to Sokka a lot, and likes the colour blue (this one sticks with Sokka everywhere, he doesn’t know why he can’t just let it go). It seems like a lot. And it’s weird how Sokka knows him pretty well now. He tells himself that it’s better to know the enemy but really. He’s gotten a glimpse of <em> Zuko </em> and not Avatar-obsessed Zuko and now he can’t let that Zuko go.</p>
<p>“How does it work?” Sokka asks after a few minutes in silence.</p>
<p>“How does what work?”</p>
<p>“Your firebending,” Sokka gestures at Zuko. “How does it work?”</p>
<p>Zuko furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Katara says that it flows through her, her waterbending. She says that it is her. She wouldn’t be her without it. Is it the same for you – for firebending?”</p>
<p>“Sort of,” Zuko explains, voice soft. “It’s a part of me. The fire. It’s alive.”</p>
<p>It’s Sokka’s turn to furrow his brows. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“It’s – well, it’s easier if I show you. Come here,” Zuko says, gesturing for Sokka to come onto the floor. Sokka hesitates a second before climbing off the bed and sitting on his heels in front of Zuko. </p>
<p>Zuko grabs his hand gently and the fact that it’s so soft and so gentle has Sokka’s cheeks heating up. Zuko guides Sokka’s hand so that it hovers over Zuko’s chest; where his heart is. Sokka can feel heat radiating off of him and he’s not even touching Zuko’s chest. It feels like something is...licking (?) his palm, like flames. But it feels nice. It reminds him of when he was small and he couldn’t sleep. His mom used to hug him and take his hand, tracing swirls on his palm and singing a song to him. And Zuko –</p>
<p>Sokka’s thoughts are interrupted by Zuko taking a shuddering breath. His head snaps up to look at Zuko (who is <em> very </em> pink in the face right now) and he flushes when he realizes he’s just been sitting there, with Zuko’s hand on his, their knees touching, Sokka almost touching Zuko’s chest, and their faces inches away from each other. Yeah, okay, now Sokka feels just a <em> tad </em> weird. </p>
<p>“That’s, um,” Sokka says awkwardly, forcing a laugh, “that’s cool. I guess. That it is a part of you.”</p>
<p>Zuko lets go of Sokka’s hand and Sokka tries not to resent the loss of the warmth. “Uh. Yeah. Yes. Right.”</p>
<p>Sokka pulls his hand away from Zuko’s chest reluctantly, already missing the feeling against his palm. Sokka inches away from Zuko, trying to act casual and not as though his insides feel all weird and...gooey...and there’s a feeling like something is swarming in his stomach and he <em> Does Not </em> like it.</p>
<p>“So, um,” he starts to say, pulling out his journal and his brush. “I get that the, uh, fire is a part of you – it’s like inside you, I guess? – but how do you...how do you <em> make </em> the fire?”</p>
<p>Zuko’s thoughtful for a moment. “Firebending comes from within, it comes from the soul. It’s formed using emotion.”</p>
<p>Sokka nods and writes what Zuko said down. “Then what about bending lightning?”</p>
<p>“Uncle says that the energy around us is both yin and yang; positive energy and negative energy. To bend lightning, you need to separate these two energies. Separating the energies creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance and in a moment the positive and negative energy come crashing back together. You need to provide release and guidance to create lightning. Lightningbending is very rare because only a few firebenders can separate the two energies.”</p>
<p>That. Surprisingly makes a lot of sense. Probably only because Iroh said it, Sokka’s not going to start thinking that Zuko is <em> smart </em>. That would be stupid. </p>
<p>He writes down everything Zuko said and looks up. “So then why is Azula’s fire blue? Every firebender I’ve met has orange fire except her.”</p>
<p>Zuko flinches at her name and, not for the first time, Sokka wonders what the history between the two of them is and why they’re so...hostile towards each other. He almost regrets the question when Zuko is silent for too long.</p>
<p>“Azula,” Zuko says slowly after a few minutes in silence, “is different than anyone you’ll ever meet. She’s...psychotic and precise, she’s smart; barely anything gets past her. Her fire is blue because it’s hotter than any other fire. Blue fire is hotter and fierce than all other fires.”</p>
<p>Sokka hadn’t expected Zuko to actually talk about what Azula is like. Zuko doesn’t ever seem to want to talk about her, not in all seven meetings.</p>
<p>“Was she...was she always like that?” Sokka asks slowly. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he says hurriedly, “but I just – was she always so...Azula?”</p>
<p>Zuko falls silent, twiddling his thumbs. Sokka wonders if he’s gone too far but the Zuko starts speaking in a soft and almost sad voice, “No. She wasn’t. Not always.” Zuko stays silent for a moment, Sokka watching him, before he looks up, seemingly deciding on something. He furrows his brow, a little confused. “There was a time when we were really young and we’d sleep in my room and Mom would come and sit in between us, reading us a story. We’d bicker and Azula would make fun of me but we’d sit there, together, with Mom in the middle and a different story read to us every night.”</p>
<p>Sokka studies the expression on Zuko’s face. He can’t figure out what it is but he knows that it’s an expression he’s worn before. Back when his mom had just died. </p>
<p>Sokka lets the subject drop.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i’m aware of what the lok comics have said about lgbtq+ relationships and stuff but idk i like to believe that all the nations we’re fine with it, that it was normal. if we can have people that can bend elements to their will, why can’t we not have homophobia?</p>
<p>next chapter features: a lil old fight, creepily analyzing someone’s features, and the blue spirit</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. i’ll take my time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 4</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p><strike><em>date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number nine </em></p>
<p>When Sokka is just about to enter Pao Family Tea House, he bumps into some guy just a bit taller than him. He hears a quiet “oof” as the guy falls to the floor.</p>
<p>Sokka extends a hand to help the guy up. “Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to bump into you. I’m sort of in a hurry, I’m here to see someone.”</p>
<p>“Sokka?” asks the guy, looking up.</p>
<p>“Zuko?” Sokka questions, looking down at the dude he bumped into. And, lo and behold, he’s looking at a pair of bright, warm, golden eyes that can only belong to one person: Zuko. </p>
<p>Zuko grasps his hand and that weird feeling is back in Sokka’s stomach when they’re hands touch. Sokka pulls Zuko up and then stumbles on the stone ground, still holding Zuko’s (warm and soft and pale and lean and beauti –) hand and pulling Zuko to the ground with him. It’s like that day, four days ago, only different because Iroh isn’t there and nobody else is there to interrupt them.</p>
<p>Zuko’s body is warm against his and the weird things that seem to swarm in Sokka’s stomach almost every day are fluttering like mad. Their hands are linked and Sokka can’t help but think about how well they fit together – how well their <em> bodies </em> fit together – like puzzle pieces clicked together (Sokka has <em> always </em> loved a good puzzle), Sokka’s brown skin contrasting against Zuko’s pale skin. </p>
<p>What. The. Fuck. </p>
<p>Sokka might have to go see a therapist because he thinks he might have gone insane. </p>
<p>Here’s the problem: Sokka and Zuko have had nine meetings, and each one of them starts to feel more useless.</p>
<p>Sokka asks questions, sure, but he doesn’t care about the answers anymore (he does a little bit, though, how could he not?). He’s more focused on figuring Zuko out (<em> why </em> , he has no clue – but Zuko is just so <em> interesting </em>, and he gives Sokka such a weird feeling that makes him all...weird inside), and to do that he needs to get closer to Zuko. Which is also a problem. Getting closer to Zuko doesn’t do good things for Sokka, and spending time with him makes Sokka feel funny. </p>
<p>The more he sees Zuko, the more he wants to figure him out and listen to that weird, tiny, truthful voice in the back of his head.</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes (his Spirits-damned eyes, the ones the truthful part of Sokka thinks he could get lost in) search Sokka’s face, gold irises looking up and down, and Sokka copies him, his own blue eyes looking up and down Zuko’s pale, aristocratic features. </p>
<p>Here’s the other problem: Zuko is annoyingly pretty. It constantly clouds Sokka’s mind and distracts him (Katara says a lot that Sokka falls for pretty people too easily without even knowing them – which he always denies even though it is true). Zuko’s prettiness causes huge problems; it makes him drop ink everywhere because he’s staring, it makes his brain fuzzy and he’s unable to head because he’s so distracted, it makes Zuko stare at him weirdly with an annoyed look. It causes problems. Once or twice, Sokka even catches himself staring at Zuko’s lips when he talks. The way they move to form words, and how fast he talks when he’s annoyed or explaining something. Sometimes Sokka doesn’t even pay attention to that stuff, he just stares at Zuko’s pretty pink lips. Which. Is a problem.</p>
<p>Sokka doesn’t know what any of this is supposed to mean at all, but he does know that it is a problem. </p>
<p>Getting closer to Zuko is bad. But Sokka can’t stop. He needs to continue. He’s dug too big a hole to get out of now.</p>
<p>Zuko licks his lips and Sokka tracks the movement with his eyes. He swallows, eyes still on Zuko’s lips and feels his brain go fuzzy and he –</p>
<p>“Could you guys stop lying on the ground?” a rough and <em> rude </em> voice asks behind them. “I’m trying to get into the tea shop.”</p>
<p>Zuko scrambles off Sokka, face red, and lets the man pass into the tea shop. He looks down, twiddling his thumbs and then looks back up at Sokka.</p>
<p>“Would you – I was gonna – let’s – let's go to the – the apartment,” Zuko stutters out and if Sokka’s head wasn't completely blank he would’ve laughed at Zuko’s awkwardness (Zuko has his moments where he’s shut off and annoyed and rude, but those moments are kind of worth the shy, awkward kid that peeks through).</p>
<p>“Right. Yes. Let’s go.”</p>
<p>They walk to Zuko’s apartment in silence and the silence gives Sokka time to think about <em> what the fuck </em> just happened. It was weird and crazy and for a minute it looked like Zuko was going to – yeah, no. Not letting those thoughts stray there. Because that would be weird. Super weird. And Sokka doesn’t want that. At all. Why <em> would </em> he want that? Zuko is the enemy, Sokka’s not about to ki – okay that’s enough. It’s not like Sokka <em> likes </em> Zuko that way (it’s not like Sokka likes him at all), how could he? Zuko is rude, snappy, closed off, annoying, awkward, kinda sweet, awkwardly funny, and – <em> Sokka, stop it, you’re supposed to be insulting him </em> ! He doesn’t even want to...do that with Zuko. It’s not like Zuko’s <em> ugly </em> , though, Sokka wouldn’t mind – but it’s not. Like that. It’s just the whole having to hang out with Zuko and being in close contact with a <em> not unattractive </em> teenager. It’s just teenage hormones. That’s it. </p>
<p>It’s still awkward when they reach Zuko’s apartment and Sokka’s brain still isn’t working properly. He assumes they’re not going to talk about it because that’s just how Zuko works; he doesn’t really address things like that and he rarely ever tries to salvage conversations. </p>
<p>Zuko sits stiffly on the bed and Sokka imitates his movements, all thoughts of relaxing and sitting easily with Zuko gone.</p>
<p>Sokka clears his throat, he came here for a reason (he has very important questions to ask today) and he is not going to let some awkward things with Zuko get in the way. “So,” another awkward clear of his throat, “for today I’m going to ask you some questions about the Fire Nation. Not military stuff before you get all annoyed and kick me out. But also important things that <em> kind of </em> relate to military stuff. But not really.”</p>
<p>Zuko mumbles something that sounds like, “I wasn’t going to kick you out,” but Sokka can’t be sure. Zuko sighs and then nods. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”</p>
<p>“Why do you think the Fire Nation is the best?” Sokka asks slowly. He’s been thinking about it ever since Zuko asked him why he flinched every time he lit the lamps (now Zuko just gets spark rocks to light the lamps so he doesn’t make Sokka uncomfortable. Sokka tries not to let it show how much it means to him and how...mushy it makes him feel), Zuko didn’t seem to really know and he <em> was </em> sort of surprised when Sokka talked about fire. So maybe he’s not exactly aware of how the Fire Nation handles things. Obviously there’s going to be propaganda in the Fire Nation, there’s propaganda everywhere and you can’t have a war without propaganda. Granted, there’s probably not that much propaganda in the royal family but to convince a whole nation that you’re the greatest nation...that would take a lot of lying and – you guessed it: propaganda.</p>
<p>Zuko tilts his head at Sokka. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Sokka lets out a quiet breath. “I mean,” he says, “what is your reasoning for the Fire Nation being the best nation?”</p>
<p>Zuko stares at him for a <em> very </em> long time. A <em> very </em>long time. Sokka might just be sweating. </p>
<p>“I grew up being told that the Fire Nation is the best,” Zuko says, “there’s nothing else to it. My tutors told us all about how fire is the best element and how the other elements are inferior.”</p>
<p>Sokka scoffs. “And how can you believe that?” Maybe asking this question was a bad idea, Sokka’s <em> really </em> starting to get annoyed now. But he needs to understand this about Zuko, he needs to know what Zuko thinks about this stuff. He has to have learned this stuff on his travels, there isn’t a place in the whole world where the Fire Nation hasn’t marked something – except Ba Sing Se. Sokka can understand that Zuko was probably sheltered about this stuff on his fancy Fire Nation ship but it seems he doesn’t have that ship anymore, that he probably hasn’t for a while, so he’s got to know now. He’s been <em> hurt </em> by a <em> firebender </em>, shouldn’t he see that the Fire Nation is messed up?</p>
<p>“That’s what I was told,” Zuko says quietly, no bite to his voice. </p>
<p>“And <em> what </em>were you told?”</p>
<p>Zuko is starting to get agitated and all Sokka can think is: <em> good </em> , because he’s very annoyed right now. It feels good to argue with Zuko, actually argue with him, none of this awkward beating around the bush, no weird blushing, and no pretending they can act normal and maybe even be friends (not that Sokka wants to be <em> friends </em>with Zuko, he just has this weird, burning desire to get to know Zuko and help him and figure him out. That’s all). And, yes, maybe it is his fault that he started an argument in five seconds with his dumb question but maybe it was needed. The argument, he means; Sokka already knows that his question was definitely needed and, from the look on Zuko’s face, he is going to get some answers.</p>
<p>Zuko crosses his arms, looking annoyed. “I was told that the Fire Nation was superior to all the other nations. I already said that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Sokka says, “but what about you? Why do you think the Fire Nation is the best?”</p>
<p>“I never said that I thought the Fire Nation was the best.”</p>
<p>“I think I kind of got it when you tried to kidnap my friend and chased us around the world.”</p>
<p>“That’s not –” Zuko shakes his head.</p>
<p>“That’s not what?” Sokka asks. “So you <em> don’t </em> think the Fire Nation is the best?”</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t say <em> that </em> either –”</p>
<p>“Then what <em> do </em> you think?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know!” Zuko says exasperatedly. “I’m not – I’m not sure anymore.”</p>
<p>On any other day, when Sokka is in a better mood, maybe, he would appreciate this answer and appreciate Zuko confiding in him, but all he can think about is how the Fire Nation did <em>so</em> many horrible things and how he just needs to know how Zuko feels about it because maybe, <em>just</em> <em>maybe</em>, Sokka’s starting to like him as a friend. And he can’t do that without knowing what Zuko thinks. He can’t handle it if Zuko’s the same as he was back when he was chasing them. He can’t.</p>
<p>“Right,” Sokka snaps, “because you don’t know anything anymore.”</p>
<p>Zuko glares at him. “What’s <em> that </em> supposed to mean?”</p>
<p>“You’re so unsure of every single stupid question I ask you! Make up your mind.”</p>
<p>The words Sokka says echo in his brain. A different version of the exact same type of thing flashes in his mind. Him asking Yue if she liked him or not and how it seemed like she couldn’t make up her mind. They’re not the same situation at all but Sokka thinks that if things were different, Yue and Zuko might’ve understood each other. Their debilitating sense of honour, to themselves and to their people, is enough that they have in common. Suki too, come to think of it. Sokka would be lying if he said he didn’t like her when they first met but when he learned about her girlfriend back on Kyoshi Island, he backed off.</p>
<p>He imagines Yue’s soft voice and her hand slipping out of his, Suki dressing him in Kyoshi Warrior clothes and her gold headpiece tickling his skin as she kisses his cheek, Zuko falling on top of him and blushing easily.</p>
<p>Honour and duty and people to protect. They all have that – if nothing else – in common.</p>
<p>Maybe Sokka is just destined to have nobody, destined to watch people leave. Maybe that’s what Aunt Wu meant when she said that he’d have a life of suffering and pain. He just can’t keep anyone with him long enough before they’re gone, either moving on or gone forever or never his in the first place. Sokka is just not meant for it.</p>
<p>He’s not sure how Zuko fits into any of this but it just makes sense for him to (and he does. Fit. Zuko fits with Suki and Yue like the perfect match in a puzzle game).</p>
<p>Zuko’s yelling and it interrupts Sokka’s (pretty sad) thoughts. Or. He’s not yelling, he’s saying mean things in a soft but decidedly not nice voice.</p>
<p>“You don’t know anything about me,” Zuko says in his Not Nice voice. “How can you say that I’m unsure? Do you know how much change I’ve gone through? I’m allowed to be unsure! You’re just making everything worse. Coming here and asking me questions about a place I’m probably never going to see again and making me remember it, confusing me even more. What the fuck is wrong with you?”</p>
<p>Sokka’s anger from before flares up inside of him. “I’m making things worse? I’m here to make sure you don’t <em> plan </em> anything! And you really think you can talk to me about change? I’ve gone through so much change. I left my home to travel the world! So don’t talk to me about change, you jerk.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t been home in three years!” Zuko yells. </p>
<p>Sokka didn’t know that. He didn’t know that but he’s still angry and he’s ignoring it.</p>
<p>“You’re such an uptight and arrogant jerk!”</p>
<p>“And you’re a stupid, nosy idiot!”</p>
<p>“Why can’t you just <em> choose </em> what side you’re on?”</p>
<p>“It’s not that simple!” Zuko lets out an angry breath. “And you’re one to talk, playing Pai Sho with my uncle and drinking tea calmly. Whose side are <em> you </em> on?”</p>
<p>Sokka glares at him. “Listen up, <em> pretty boy </em> –”</p>
<p>Sokka’s sentence stops midway because the second he calls Zuko “pretty boy”, Zuko blushes a brilliant red and Sokka forgets everything he was going to say because he’s distracted by the blooming blush on Zuko’s cheeks. And Zuko does look kind of pretty like this, living up to the name Sokka just gave him.</p>
<p>
  <em> Remember when you said “no weird blushing”, Sokka? </em>
</p>
<p>Sokka promptly tells the voice to <em> shut the fuck up </em>. </p>
<p>“I – I – um – I...” Sokka trails off, mouth opening and closing stupidly like a fish.</p>
<p>Zuko clears his throat quietly and looks away. Sokka’s eyes trace every movement Zuko makes. The curve of his jaw as he turns his head, the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, the outline of his neck, the shadow his hair casts across his face, the way the redness and roughness of his scar contrasts the pale and smooth skin of the rest of his face.</p>
<p>And now Sokka feels bad. </p>
<p>How he understands that he was shitty just by looking at Zuko’s (beautiful – <em> shut up! </em>) face, Sokka doesn’t know but he really fucking feels bad. </p>
<p><em> You messed up, Sokka, you really messed up. </em> </p>
<p>“I – sorry,” Sokka apologizes abruptly after about ten minutes of awkward silence. “I didn’t mean to be like that, I know that you’ve been through some shit. That wasn’t fair of me.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks so much more relaxed and Sokka suddenly feels all warm and...fuzzy (????? Sokka has many questions).</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Zuko says softly, looking calm. Is he calmer because he’s glad that Sokka apologized; is he calmer because he’s glad Sokka isn’t mad at him? Sokka really doesn’t know but he hopes that it’s both. “You were kind of right anyways.”</p>
<p>Sokka shakes his head. “No. I wasn’t. It wasn’t right for me to say that stuff when you’re clearly figuring things out.”</p>
<p>“No –”</p>
<p>“Dammit, Zuko, will you stop being noble and let me admit that I was wrong for a second?”</p>
<p>Zuko pinks and just nods his head a little.</p>
<p>Sokka looks down pretending that he doesn’t find it endearing how easily Zuko blushes and how he <em> absolutely cannot </em> take a compliment. “It’s just – I – the Fire Nation has always been painted as this big enemy and it was proved more correct as you chased us around. But. Then you went and fought <em> with </em> us against your sister and when your uncle was hit, you shot the fire above us and not directly at us. And now I’m confused. But I still <em> know </em> that the Fire Nation is bad and absolutely not the best nation. I just don’t think I could handle it if you – if – ugh – I dunno. I just don’t think I can handle it.”</p>
<p>The corner of Zuko’s mouth twitches, the first sign, in all nine meetings, he’s shown of a smile.</p>
<p>“I get it. Sort of. And,” he looks up at Sokka with bright gold eyes, “I’m also sorry for what I said. You’re. Not stupid,” Zuko adds awkwardly. </p>
<p>Sokka smiles at him. </p>
<p>“So...you like being called ‘pretty boy’, huh?” Sokka teases a few minutes later, a smirk on his face, just to watch Zuko sputter and flush red.</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number eleven </em></p>
<p>“Hey, Zuko?”</p>
<p>“Hm?” Zuko answers, not looking up from the book he’s reading. </p>
<p>They’re supposed to be doing the whole asking questions and interrogation thing but Sokka was just <em> so </em> tired, so he’s occasionally asking Zuko dumb questions that he’s pretending are important and just chilling, making fun of Zuko (he keeps telling himself that this stuff is important but in reality, it really isn’t).</p>
<p>“Do you know who the Blue Spirit is?” Sokka asks, swinging his legs back and forth.</p>
<p>There’s a sound like a choking noise and Sokka looks up to see Zuko’s good eye wide and his face the slightest bit pink.</p>
<p>“Uhm. No. I don’t,” Zuko says. “Why do you ask?”</p>
<p>Sokka shrugs, still confused about Zuko’s reaction. “You’re from the Fire Nation, I assumed you would know. I’ve heard about him, that's all.”</p>
<p>“W – what have you heard?”</p>
<p>Sokka sits up properly and looks at Zuko. “What do you mean! Haven’t you heard about how amazing he is?” he asks incredulously.</p>
<p>Zuko seems to pink more. “No?”</p>
<p>“Oh. My. Spirits. Zuko! How have you not? The Blue Spirit is only the coolest superhero, vigilante dude ever!”</p>
<p>“H – he is?”</p>
<p>Sokka throws his hands up in the air. “Yes! Obviously. For starters, he’s called the <em> Blue </em> Spirit and he wears a <em> blue </em> mask; everyone knows that blue is a Water Tribe colour. So. He either loves the colour blue, which: awesome, or he’s from the Water Tribe. I’m banking on the first option because it makes the most sense, nobody in the Water Tribes would really become a vigilante. And the way he wields dual broadswords is so cool, I think he’s a nonbender and that makes it even cooler. If he was a bender, that’s also cool because that means he doesn’t always rely on bending and that he doesn’t think that benders are superior. Aang says he met him when we were sick and that they fought against Zhao together. The Blue Spirit broke into a <em> highly guarded Fire Nation prison </em> without being caught! That’s pretty badass. I asked Aang if he knew who the Blue Spirit was but Aang just went all weird and said no. I heard some rumours that the Blue Spirit is here in Ba Sing Se and I really hope I can meet him because he sounds awesome. Apparently, he steals from the rich which just makes him even better because the rich can suck it – no offense to your family – actually, I kinda hate your family – except Iroh and, meh, you I guess – so. Offense to your family. I’ve only ever seen wanted posters for him and Katara says he’s probably not real or that he’s probably been captured by the Fire Nation but I know he’s not. He’s too cool to be captured by the Fire Nation and he can’t <em> not </em> be real because he saved Aang. Which also proves his awesomeness because he saved the Avatar and went against the Fire Nation. Katara used to tease me about him and my ‘crush’ on him and then she and Aang told Toph and now the three of them won’t leave me alone. But that was before – why are you so red?”</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>Sokka raises his eyebrows at Zuko. “I asked you why you’re so red. Your entire face is basically flaming, dude, what’s up?”</p>
<p>Zuko shakes his head. “Nothing. Nothing. I’m fine.”</p>
<p>He didn’t even acknowledge Sokka’s pun. He <em> always </em> makes fun of them in his mean, rude way. </p>
<p>“Zuko, what –”</p>
<p>“S – s – so, you l – like the Blue Spirit?” Zuko interrupts, sounding distracted.</p>
<p>Sokka furrows his brows and tilts his head at Zuko. “I can’t exactly like someone I’ve never met, Zuko. Katara says I’ve got a crush on the Blue Spirit but really I’m just intrigued by him and I just admire him – okay. I actually do kinda like him. Just kinda. I mean, I don’t even know what he looks like! But he is super cool and how can you <em> not </em> have the teensiest crush on him? And – okay, buddy, I’ve lost you again, haven’t I? Your face is on fire.”</p>
<p>Zuko doesn’t acknowledge this pun, <em> either </em>. Sokka’s starting to feel hurt; what’s the point in making Fire Nation puns if the one Fire Nation dude he hangs out with doesn’t make fun of them?</p>
<p>Zuko blinks multiple times and then his lips slowly form the words: “You...have a crush on the Blue Spirit?”</p>
<p>Sokka stares at him. “Dude. I just explained this to you.”</p>
<p>No answer, Sokka is kind of starting to get worried (not that he would worry for <em> Zuko </em> , they’re not even <em> friends </em>).</p>
<p>He waves a hand in front of Zuko’s face. “Zuko, bud, are you okay? You look like you’re in shock.”</p>
<p>Zuko startles. “I’m fine. Totally fine. A-okay.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Sokka says disbelievingly. He opens his mouth to say something else but he’s interrupted (<em> again! </em>) by Zuko.</p>
<p>“The Blue Spirit, really?” Zuko asks, voice weak – for some...reason? – but a little teasing. “That’s. Kinda cliche of you, Sokka. Liking some vigilante who has a secret identity and likes the colour blue.”</p>
<p>Sokka stares at him and he has this bizarre urge to laugh at Zuko making fun of him and attempting to tease him – he doesn’t <em> ever </em> try to tease him. And as Sokka looks at the boy next to him, he realizes that, after all this time, he doesn’t look so scary anymore. Especially with his hair starting to grow out, it’s just slightly uneven (and kind of cute). Zuko even has a soft teasing smirk, the one corner of his mouth barely turned up. There’s a quietness, a stillness in his eyes that kind of contrasts the typical fire that Sokka always sees It’s almost like water. </p>
<p>Sokka punches his arm. “It’s not cliche! You’re one to talk, <em> Li </em>,” Sokka smirks, “you liked Jet. The ‘handsome’ and roguish bad boy! I didn’t know that was your type.”</p>
<p>Zuko flushes a brighter red. “That’s not true! And don’t call me Li.”</p>
<p>“It is so true, Little Zucchini,” Sokka teases. He pretends to swoon, putting a hand to his forehead dramatically. “<em> ‘Oh, Jet, you’re </em> so <em> bad. I wish I was that piece of wheat in your mouth. Kiss me with that bad, bad mouth of yours and then I’ll join your little merry band and we can do crime together in Ba Sing Se.’ </em>”</p>
<p>Zuko chokes. “I was not like that, you’re weird. And ‘Little Zucchini’? Really?”</p>
<p>Sokka shrugs. “I’m not weird, you were totally like that. And you told me not to call you Li so I’m calling you Little Zucchini.”</p>
<p>“Do <em> not </em> call me Little Zucchini.”</p>
<p>“Would you prefer ‘babe’?” he teases, smirking. “Or ‘pretty boy’? You seemed to like those last time.”</p>
<p>Zuko groans, slapping a hand to his forehead. “I hate you.”</p>
<p>Sokka blinks and then forces a laugh, pretending that didn’t sting <em> just </em> a little. </p>
<p><em> But Zuko didn’t sound like he meant it, </em> a voice ( <em> The Voice </em> , the horrible one) reasons in his head. <em> There wasn't any bite to his voice. </em> </p>
<p><em> Yeah </em> , Sokka answers, <em> but Zuko isn’t the type to say that stuff and not mean it. </em></p>
<p><em> Why do you want him to not mean it? </em> The Voice asks. <em> Come on, Sokka, think truthfully. You want to be his friend, don’t you? </em></p>
<p>No<em> I don’t. </em></p>
<p>And he shuts the voice out. </p>
<p>“You aren’t actually going to call me ‘babe’, are you?” Zuko asks tentatively. “It’s just that Uncle will get the wrong idea and I don’t want him to –”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles at Zuko’s hesitance and awkwardness. “Relax, Zuko, I won’t call you that,” he pauses and then adds with a smirk, “in front of him, babe.”</p>
<p>Zuko (dramatically) puts his head in his hands. “You are literally the worst.”</p>
<p>Sokka laughs and nudges Zuko. “Yeah, I know. But at least I don’t fall in love with weirdos that have weird eyebrows.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t love!” Zuko yelps. “I don’t need to listen to things from someone who can’t even draw the Fire Nation symbol right.”</p>
<p>“That was one time! How was I supposed to know there was a weird elemental symbol <em> and </em> an insignia?  All the other nations don’t have two symbols, the Fire Nation is so extra. I had never even seen your fancy swirly one before. It’s not <em> my </em> fault –”</p>
<p>“Sokka.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Shut up.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>meh i didn’t like this chapter but the next chapter i’ve already started and i actually very much like it so far</p>
<p>next chapter features: a shopping trip, flowers, teenagers that deserve to sleep, there was only ONE bed, and sokka getting yelled at</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. i'm not the forward thinker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 5</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so i made these lil aesthetic things that i only added now and i think they're kind of cute, they're for each chapter so if y'all wanna see the earlier ones you can :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strike> <em>  </em> </strike>
</p><p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number thirteen </em></p><p>Sokka arrives at Zuko’s apartment sometime in the evening when the sky is painted with pinks and purples and blues, a faint hint of yellow bleeding into the blue just visible above all the buildings. </p><p>Zuko opens the door for him and Sokka’s first thought is that he looks tired, really tired. There are dark circles under Zuko’s eyes and a crease in between his brows, Sokka has this weird urge to reach up and smooth the crease between Zuko’s brows. </p><p>Zuko’s eye widens when he sees that it’s Sokka at the door.</p><p>“Sokka,” he states.</p><p>“Zuko,” Sokka replies easily, resting all his weight on one leg. “Positively wonderful to see you, darling.”</p><p>Zuko pinks at the name. “I didn’t think you were coming, it’s kind of late.”</p><p>“Nah, I just got caught up in something with Katara.” It’s not a total lie but it was more like Katara lectured him about not really being there for Aang and by helping find Appa which made Sokka feel guilty so he spent the day with them. “And it's not that late,” he responds, shrugging. He flashes Zuko a grin. “You didn’t think I’d given up on you, did you, <em> Zuko </em>?”</p><p>Zuko scoffs. “No, it was just wishful thinking.”</p><p>Sokka frowns. Zuko doesn’t really want Sokka to leave him alone, does he? Not that Sokka cares. It’s just that the last few meeting have brought them closer and Sokka might actually start to tolerate Zuko (<em>we both know that just “tolerate” isn’t right</em>). </p><p>“You look a little tired,” Sokka comments. “Rough night?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “Just couldn’t sleep last night, that’s all.”</p><p>“Right,” Sokka says. “So can I come in?”</p><p>Zuko looks behind him. “I’m having dinner with my –”</p><p>“Nephew!” a voice from behind Zuko calls. “Who is at the door?”</p><p>“It’s just Sokka,” Zuko mutters.</p><p>“Invite him in for dinner,” Iroh says, sounding happy and excited.</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes and turns back to Sokka. “Yeah. You can come in.”</p><p>Sokka lets out a small laugh and enters the apartment after Zuko. He finds Iroh sitting at the table drinking some tea. Iroh smiles when he sees him.</p><p>“Sokka!” Iroh announces cheerfully. </p><p>“Hi, Iroh.” Sokka smiles and sits down across from Iroh. Zuko sits next to him. Which is totally fine. Not weird. And Sokka’s not weird about it. He’s fine. Completely fine (except he’s not and Zuko’s very warm and their knees are touching and Sokka has that gross fluttering in his stomach again). </p><p>Iroh tells Sokka more stories about Zuko (to Zuko’s dismay) and then, as he’s getting up, he offhandedly mentions that while Sokka was with the gang, he tried to take Zuko shopping but Zuko didn’t want anything. </p><p>“What? How can you pass up the opportunity to shop?” Sokka asks incredulously, turning to Zuko to confirm if this is true. Zuko gives a noncommittal shrug. Sokka gets up and pulls Zuko up with him. “We are going shopping right now and you have to get something.”</p><p>“What? No. I don’t need anything. It’s getting late, Sokka, we don’t need to go anywhere,” he protests but still lets himself be pulled up by Sokka.</p><p>“It’s not late, calm down. You’re going to get me thinking that you haven’t ever had a real present before.”</p><p>Zuko falls silent, biting his lips, and his silence is confirmation enough.</p><p>“You’ve <em> never </em> had a real present before?”</p><p>“It’s not like I’ve <em> never </em> had a real present before,” Zuko says, shrugging nonchalantly. “It’s just that I used to only get presents I never really cared about.”</p><p>Sokka ignores him. “Let’s go,” he says bluntly, dragging Zuko out of the apartment and waving to Iroh.</p><p>Zuko protests the entire way to whatever shop Sokka sees first and he doesn’t stop when Sokka stops them in front of an art store.</p><p>“Will you shut up, Zuko?” Sokka interrupts Zuko’s protests, dragging them into the art shop.</p><p>Zuko huffs. “I don’t need to go get a <em> present</em>,” he says the last word like it’s something gross. “And I tried to tell you that I have had presents before but I didn’t exactly care about them. I’ve only gotten a few that I’ve actually cared about.”</p><p>“Like what?” Sokka asks, browsing the shelves of the store. Zuko gives him a questioning look and Sokka just shrugs. “If we’re buying you something, I have to know what you like.”</p><p>Zuko sighs quietly. “Well, um, I trained with a sword wielding master when I was small and I was gifted my dual <em> dao </em>. And a few years ago, Uncle gave me a small knife with an inscription from Ba Sing Se.”</p><p>“So I should be looking for weapons?”</p><p>“I don’t really want any weapons,” Zuko says, shaking his head.</p><p>“Any other present <em> preferences</em>?” Sokka asks, just an edge of teasing in his voice.</p><p>“I don’t need a present!”</p><p>“Too bad. What about other family members? You can’t tell me just your uncle gave you presents.” Zuko falls silent and Sokka instantly regrets the last comment. He nudges Zuko’s shoulder and changes the subject from the topic of family quickly. “Come on, jerkbender, tell me what you want.”</p><p>Zuko goes...pink for some reason at that last bit and Sokka really doesn’t know why but he chooses to ignore it.</p><p>“My family was never really big on presents,” Zuko says quietly. “Birthdays were never really a big deal. But my mom used to snea – give me presents. Most of the time she’d give me flowers from the garden. Fire lilies, she’d give me fire lilies because they were my favourite.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him and has this overwhelming urge to hug him. He pushes those (really weird) thoughts down and settles for smiling softly. He has learned that when Zuko has these moments (these <em> moments</em>. These <em> moments </em> where he opens up and spills things to Sokka and Sokka thinks he might be the first person Zuko has ever opened up to and it makes him soft and gooey and Sokka just feels so happy that Zuko is <em> telling </em> him these things and sure maybe Zuko closes off after a while but he still sort of <em> trusts </em>Sokka. Sometimes he wishes that he wasn’t here to catch Zuko at something – <em>no that’s not true so shut up, Sokka</em>), Sokka can’t push his limits. Zuko will tell him things but Sokka has to stay within their boundaries and he can’t actually give in to the urge to even just hold Zuko’s hand (not that he actually wants to hold Zuko’s hand, no. No he doesn’t. Just an example).</p><p>“If we find a flower shop, I’ll get you some fire lilies, bud,” Sokka says casually, not trying to let on how happy he is because Zuko shared something with him.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t say anything else but drags them away from the art store muttering about how “I can’t even draw, Sokka. Why would I want art supplies?” but before Zuko can take them back to his apartment, Sokka pulls him over to a bookstore. He hopes this will get Zuko’s attention because he has proof that Zuko is a total nerd and reads lots of books, especially ones that have plays based on them.</p><p>“A bookstore?” Zuko asks flatly, raising his eyebrow (his one eyebrow because he only has one. Sokka will never admit it but he really thinks it’s hot that Zuko only has one eyebrow and he really thinks it’s hot whenever Zuko raises said brow, or he furrows said brow, or he gets angry and that one brow is tilted downward, or – <em> do you ever stop, Sokka?</em>).</p><p>“Yeah,” Sokka answers. “A bookstore. I have it on good authority that you like to read.”</p><p>“Whose authority?”</p><p>“Mine!” Sokka says indignantly. “Who else’s?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “I dunno. And your authority isn’t exactly that trustworthy.”</p><p>Sokka shoves him and ignores his quiet snicker. He runs his fingers along the spines of the books, trying to find something that will interest Zuko, when he comes across a book called <em> Love Amongst The Dragons</em>. He carefully takes the book off the shelf and shows it to Zuko.</p><p>“<em>‘Love Amongst The Dragons’</em>,” he reads aloud. “<em>‘Rewrite based on the popular Fire Nation play about a Dragon Emperor who is cursed by a Dark Water Spirit to live in mortal human form’</em>. Maybe you’d like this, Zuko, it’s about dragons and stuff. Don’t all firebender like dra –”</p><p>Zuko’s head turns to him so fast. “<em> What </em>?”</p><p>“I said:<em>‘Love Amongst the’ </em>–”</p><p>Zuko snatches the book out of his hand. “I heard what you said.” He stares at the book and slowly opens it, flipping through the pages before scowling and shoving the book back in Sokka’s hands. “Awful, they ruined it.”</p><p>Sokka stares at the book confusedly. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean,” Zuko says irritably, “that they ruined it. It’s a bad rewrite and they ruined the actual beauty of the play.”</p><p>Zuko starts ranting about how horrible the rewrite is and Sokka can’t help but think of how nice he looks like this. He’s got a little sparkle in his eyes, the way he does when he talks about something he’s passionate about. And his face is a little pink from all the talking. He’s gesturing with his hands, and making the most adorable face expressions.</p><p>Sokka feels a grin form on his face as Zuko continues ranting about how the real <em> Love Amongst The Dragons </em> is better. “Oh Spirits, you are such a nerd,” he says teasingly, interrupting Zuko’s rant.</p><p>Zuko flushes and defensively yells, “Am not!”</p><p>“Are too!” Sokka teases. “I can’t believe Zuko, angry, scowling, ‘I don’t like anything’ Zuko, is a theater nerd. I knew you liked <em> theater </em>but I didn’t know you were such a nerd!”</p><p>“You can’t call me a nerd because you like to plan things and invent for fun.”</p><p>Sokka feels his face grow hot and he crosses his arms across his chest defensively. “<em> Planning </em> is fun! You’re more of a nerd than me, <em> I </em>don't go on long rants about planning things.”</p><p>Zuko scowls. “Shut up,” he says but there’s no real bite to it. With that he exits the bookstore, leaving Sokka alone, still holding <em> Love Amongst The Dragons</em>.</p><p>“So it’s a no on the books, then,” Sokka mutters before putting the book back on its shelf following him.</p><p>He finds Zuko standing outside, sulking.</p><p>“So...I’m looking for flowers?” Sokka asks, falling into step beside Zuko as they roam the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se.</p><p>“You’re looking for nothing. I don’t need a present.”</p><p>“But –”</p><p>“Why do you need to get me a present so bad, Sokka?” Zuko asks abruptly. “I don’t understand.”</p><p>Sokka rolls his eyes at Zuko’s stupidity. “You’re stupid, jerkbender. I’m getting you a present because you haven’t had a real one in a long time. Plus, I get to drink your uncle’s tea almost every day; I need to pay you guys back and Iroh would want me to get you something.”</p><p>“Fine,” Zuko says. “Whatever. Just don’t get me something stupid and dumb.”</p><p>“I would never, sweetheart.”</p><p>Zuko shoves him. “I hate all the nicknames you have for me,” he says but his irritated words are drowned out by his blush (Sokka doesn’t think about how much he loves Zuko’s blush. He doesn’t think about how sweet and adorable it is when Zuko’s cheeks are kissed pink and they look like pretty roses. He doesn’t think about how Zuko’s blush shows his soul, a compliment to his gold eyes, and shows a delicate sweetness within. He doesn’t think about how maybe it shows a connection, – or maybe Sokka’s just gone insane and took too many of those poetry classes – maybe it shows that the small smile and shyness Zuko has when he blushes comes from, like, a soft emotion, one he doesn’t show very often. Sokka doesn’t think about how it’s beautiful the way Zuko blushes, how it shows something real. He doesn’t think about it because if he does, he’ll get caught up in those thoughts and he’ll have sunk himself into too deep a hole that he can’t get out. He can’t afford to do that, he’s already gone too far).</p><p>“My nicknames are the best and you love them,” Sokka teases and Zuko shoves him again.</p><p>They wander the Lower Ring, occasionally stopping at random shops, and by the time they’ve almost been through the whole Lower Ring (Sokka said that logically it would be impossible for them to go through the whole ring and Zuko, apparently took that personally), the sky is a dark blue, faint, wispy clouds covering some of the sparkling stars, the moon just peeking out of the clouds. It’s not a full moon tonight and although full moons are usually the most painful, it still hurts to see the moon. Sokka stares at her, she looks beautiful tonight and, Spirits, he misses her. Their time together was too short lived and if only he could’ve gotten to know her better. But it’s probably better this way, she’s better off lighting up the sky and keeping balance in the world than she is marrying a jerk like Hahn.</p><p>“What are you looking at?” Zuko asks, stifling a yawn and following Sokka’s gaze.</p><p>Sokka shakes his head. “Nothing. Just looking at the sky.” As much as he loves when Zuko shares with him, he’s not ready to share this with Zuko. It’s just too hard, he could barely tell Suki it and she was one of the first people he could talk to about stuff like that.</p><p>He’s about to suggest they head back to the apartment when he spots a flower shop and grabs Zuko’s hand, dragging him to it. “Maybe they’ll have fire lilies and all our time out here won’t have been a waste!”</p><p>“Fire lilies are really rare, Sokka, they only bloom a few weeks a year. And in the Fire Nation at that,” Zuko protests.</p><p>“Trading, hello? They’ve got to have some. The Earth Kingdom is huge and there’s bound to be lots of trading.”</p><p>A bell jingles as Sokka opens the door to the flower shop and he’s met with bright colours blinding his eyes, and pretty smells clouding his nostrils. Zuko blinks multiple times at the colours and Sokka grins. Yeah, they have to have fire lilies here, there are so many different types of flowers. Realizing that he’s still holding Zuko’s hand, Sokka lets go and ignores the blush rising on his face. He wanders over to one side of the shop and Zuko goes to the other, leaving Sokka to be embarrassed about holding Zuko’s hand. </p><p>Once Zuko is safely out of sight. Sokka goes up to the shopkeeper. “Do you have any fire lilies?” he asks politely.</p><p>The woman thinks for a moment. “I think we have some in the back but I’m not sure, they’re hard to find, y’know?”</p><p>Sokka nods and the woman hurries over to the back. Moments later, she comes back to him, holding a small bouquet of about three or four fire lilies. That was easy. </p><p>“I’m sorry we don’t have any more. They <em> are </em>hard to come by.”</p><p>Sokka takes the bouquet from her and smiles at the flowers. They’re red and pretty with spiky petals. Like Zuko. “It’s okay. How much are they?”</p><p>“Three copper pieces,” she answers. Sokka deposits the money in her hand.</p><p>He turns to find Zuko only to see that Zuko just appeared at his shoulder. Sokka jumps. “Dude, you need to say my name or something. You scared –”</p><p>“Are those...fire lilies?” Zuko interjects, looking at the flowers in disbelief.</p><p>Sokka follows his gaze. “Yeah, they are. I just paid for them, dumbass.”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t comment on the insult and looks at the flowers. “I just haven’t seen one in a long time.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him. </p><p>Without thinking, Sokka pulls a fire lily out of the bouquet gently and reaches up to tuck it behind Zuko’s ear, the bright red a stark contrast to Zuko’s dark hair (<em>what am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing? What is this? What are we?</em>). He brushes some hair out of Zuko’s eyes and subconsciously lets his hand trail down and rest on Zuko’s neck. “They’re for you. Present, duh,” he says as casually as he can, his mind about to explode with confusion. Sokka absentmindedly traces little circles with his thumb on Zuko’s neck. His eyes wander up to the flower in Zuko’s hair. “And you said I wouldn’t find any fire lilies.”</p><p>Zuko swallows and Sokka is now all too aware of how close together they are. Too close. His eyes flick up to Zuko’s but Zuko doesn’t seem to be looking at him, his eyes are trained on Sokka’s lips and Sokka wonders why, does he want to –</p><p>“Aww, that’s sweet,” the shopkeeper says from behind him. “You didn’t tell me the flowers were for your boyfriend.”</p><p>Sokka’s eyes widen and his cheeks heat up. “Oh no –” </p><p>“It’s okay,” she says. “Young love, I understand. I was once in love too.”</p><p>Sokka slaps a hand to his forehead and just smiles (this <em> needs </em>to stop happening to him). He grabs Zuko’s wrist and starts to drag him out of the shop, waving to the lady. “Thanks for the flowers. We should be going now,” he says politely and exits the shop with Zuko in hand.</p><p>Predictably, they don’t talk about it when they get outside. Zuko tries to stifle a yawn but Sokka sees right through him. He scoffs and rolls his eyes, steering Zuko around and in the direction of the apartment.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“I’m taking you to go to sleep. You’re tired.”</p><p>“I am not!”</p><p>‘Yes you are,” Sokka says flatly. “You look exhausted. Do you ever sleep at all?”</p><p>“Sometimes!”</p><p>“Sometimes isn’t good enough. You need to sleep, your dark circles are worse than anyone’s I’ve ever seen.” Sokka allows himself a small little smile. “And that’s saying a lot because I’ve seen a lot of tired people.”</p><p>Zuko glares at him. “Sleep is for the weak.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him. “You’re weird. Sleep isn’t for the weak, it’s for normal people. You need it to survive.”</p><p>“Since when are you such an expert on sleep...stuff?” Zuko asks, arching an eyebrow at Sokka. “You seem pretty tired yourself.”</p><p>“I am n –” Sokka tries to argue but interrupts his own sentence by yawning loudly.</p><p>“Ha!” Zuko says triumphantly.</p><p>“That means nothing,” Sokka argues. “I just yawned because we were talking about sleeping and yawning and then you said I was tired.”</p><p>“How does that make <em> any </em>sense?”</p><p>“It makes perfect sense, thank you very much.”</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes. “Sure it does.”</p><p>Sokka glares at him. “Will you just admit that you’re tired?”</p><p>“Will <em> you</em>?”</p><p>“I will when you will,” Sokka says, thinking he’s got him.</p><p>“Fine. I’m tired. Your turn.”</p><p>Sokka sputters for a moment because he hadn’t realized it would actually be that easy to get Zuko to admit he’s tired and he’d expected that he wouldn’t actually have to admit that he’s tired. Pretty stupid of him, to be honest. He should know that Zuko is never one to back down from a challenge. Zuko stares at him, one eyebrow raised challengingly. Sokka sighs and admits defeat. “Okay, okay. I’m tired too.”</p><p>Zuko smirks softly, without any bite, and looks adorable while doing it. Sokka wants to take that small smirk and keep it in his pocket forever like it’s a secret.</p><p>Zuko opens the door to the apartment that they <em> somehow </em>reached and Sokka follows him inside. There’s no sign of Iroh so he must’ve gone to bed. Zuko stifles another yawn and walks over to his small bedroom. Sokka really does feel tired now and all he wants to do is go to bed. He watches Zuko flop down on the bed and take off his boots, pulling off his robe and leaving himself shirtless, in just his trousers. Sokka rakes his eyes over Zuko’s chest and feels his face grow hot because Zuko may be skinny but he still has some muscles and that is...uhm...a distracting thing for Sokka. Zuko puts the bouquet of fire lilies on his bedside table and takes the one out of his hair. </p><p>Sokka looks away and clears his throat. “Um, I’ll just get back to the Upper Ring with my friends.” He can feel Zuko’s gaze burning into him and has to look back at him. What he doesn’t expect is the soft and relaxed, tired look on Zuko’s face.</p><p>“You should just stay,” Zuko says softly. “It’s late and you’ll have to take the monorail to get to the Upper Ring. I could just sleep on the floor or the couch outside.”</p><p>Zuko must be <em> seriously </em> sleep deprived, Sokka thinks. “No, that’s – I’ll just go. I wouldn’t make you sleep on the couch,” Sokka says hurriedly. That’s actually not true. If Sokka was really tired he would gladly take that opportunity and let someone else crash on the couch but it’s <em> Zuko </em> and right now he’s cute and tired and generously offering to let Sokka stay the night. And Sokka just can’t do it.</p><p>Zuko rolls onto his side, his eyes drooping. “Just sleep in the same bed as me,” he replies softly. “There’s space for both of us.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t want you to wake up and then realize you’ve slept next to me and want me to go. I don’t need to –”</p><p>Zuko hums, yawning quietly and he really is out of it because he curls himself up and mutters, “I don’t want you to go. You should stay. Just stay.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him and then realizes Zuko’s already fallen asleep. He shrugs to himself and thinks, <em> what’s the worst that could happen? </em>Zuko isn’t going to do anything to him and it’s just staying the night. He’s tired. It’s fine.</p><p>Sokka pulls off his tunic, gently putting it on the hook next to the door, and takes his hair out of his wolf-tail, putting the hair elastic around his wrist.</p><p>His eyes are closed before his head even hits the pillow, and his last thought before he’s completely dead to the world is that he kind of missed sleeping on a small and uncomfortable little bed, it gives him a sense of familiarity, a sense of...home. He will remember, in the morning, the unexpected warmth that envelopes him now, but he won’t remember the way his body curls inwards, without his permission, towards the source of said warmth; towards Zuko.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number fourteen </em></p><p>Sokka’s first thought when he wakes up is that he’s really warm. His arms are around something very warm and his head is resting against something solid but also warm. So yeah. He’s warm. He can hear something like a heart beating very fast and slow deep breathing. Sokka blinks open his eyes slowly to find his arms around a certain Fire Nation prince and his head resting against Zuko’s chest. He also registers that Zuko’s body is very still, unusually still. Which means he’s awake.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t want to get up, nor does he want to let go of Zuko and leave the warmth he provides; he doesn’t want to untangle his legs from Zuko’s and he doesn’t want to lift his head from Zuko’s chest; he doesn’t want Zuko’s hands to be out of his hair, nor does he want to stop smelling the cinnamon and cedar and that is definitely honey smell coming off of Zuko. </p><p>But he can’t <em> stay </em> in Zuko’s arms. Weird. That would be weird. Weird for both of them. Him and Zuko. Zuko and him. Them.</p><p>He doesn’t even <em> like </em> Zuko. This is all just for information. </p><p>Zuko’s very tense against him, and Sokka makes the split-second decision to pretend he thinks that Zuko’s unnatural stillness is just him sleeping to avoid any embarrassment between them. Not that there would be any embarrassment. They’re just two guys, chilling in a small bed, cuddling. No big deal.</p><p>At first, Sokka was going to take his time getting up, tease Zuko, stretch, maybe have some tea that Iroh totally probably absolutely made, but his eyes widen when he realizes he just stayed the night at Zuko’s apartment without informing Katara and now Katara is going to kill him. He’s about to jump up out of the bed when he remembers Zuko’s still body next to him. He slowly extracts himself from Zuko and sits up. He debates on letting Zuko pretend to sleep but ultimately decides to “wake” him up.</p><p>Sokka shakes him gently. “Hey, jerkbender, wake up.”</p><p>Zuko’s eyes open almost immediately, proving to Sokka that he wasn’t asleep, and he sits up, the blanket pooling around his waist. Sokka tries his best not to stare at Zuko’s chest and then realizes that he is also shirtless and his hair is down and tries his hardest not to blush.</p><p>Zuko stares at him, eyes flicking up and down before finally landing on Sokka’s face. “You’re shirtless.” It’s not a question and Sokka kind of wants to laugh. “And your...hair is down,” he whispers, voice raspier than usual (Sokka doesn’t think about how hot that is. He doesn’t).</p><p>Sokka tugs on a strand of hair self consciously. “Yeah. It’s always down when I go to sleep.”</p><p>“It, uhm, it looks nice. Down. It looks nice when you leave it open,” Zuko says, blushing to the tips of his ears, his face turning surprised like he didn’t mean to say that out loud.</p><p>Sokka slips on a casual (<em>casual</em>, <em> casual</em>, he repeats in his head. Keep it casual) grin trying not to let on how that comment made him feel (the <em> swarming</em>, the Spirits-damned <em> swarming </em> is back. And it’s starting to feel dangerously like butterflies). It makes him think of a time a while ago, back when Zuko was chasing them. “Thanks, Zucchini.”</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”</p><p>“I’m aware.”</p><p>Sokka pulls on his tunic and gathers up his hair back into its wolf-tail. When he exits the bedroom he finds Iroh at the tiny table drinking tea with a wide grin on his face.</p><p>“Sokka,” he says happily, sipping his tea. “I see you spent the night.” Iroh wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and that is Not Okay.</p><p>Sokka chuckles awkwardly and decides that the best way to steer this conversation out of dangerous waters is to pun it out. He raises his hands up to his chest and forces a <em> non awkward </em> smile onto his face. “Guil-<em>tea </em>.”</p><p>Iroh booms out a laugh, clutching his stomach just as Zuko appears. “Oh, nephew, you should keep this one! He cracks me up and his jokes are <em> tea</em>-riffic.”</p><p>Sokka can’t help it. He laughs. And it’s not his fault that he likes tea jokes, or that Iroh is really funny, or that laughing at the joke will irritate Zuko and make that expression appear on his face (the one. Y’know, the one where he’s annoyed and he’s pouting but he won’t admit that he’s pouting and then he’ll roll his eyes with slight fondness. Fourteen meetings with a cute, angry, jerkbender, will do something to a guy – that guy being Sokka and that something being analyzing everything and anything about said cute, angry, jerkbender so that he can get to know him. To make sure he’s not planning anything of course). It’s a good thing that Iroh makes a tea joke so that Sokka can laugh, tease Zuko, and forget about <em> whatever </em>is going on currently. ‘Cause guys who don’t trust each other, aren’t friends, are total enemies, and are trying to stop the other from...something, don’t sleep in the same bed and cuddle (they also don’t give each other presents, especially flowers, and they don’t compliment each others hair, and they don’t almost ki –).</p><p>Zuko huffs. “I hate you both.”</p><p>“Aww, we both know that’s not true, <em> Li</em>,” Sokka teases sardonically and smirks, relishing the way Zuko blushes and scowls. </p><p>“You need to drink some tea this morning, nephew. You certainly need some to bring out your inner tranquili-<em>tea </em>,” Iroh says, nodding sagely. Sokka laughs again and then continues laughing as Zuko’s scowl deepens.</p><p>“You’re both awful,” Zuko says irritably and – there’s the pout and the fond rolling of eyes. Sokka is never going to get tired of that. “I’m going to work.”</p><p>“I’ll come with!” Sokka pipes up, jumping out of his seat and avoiding Iroh’s gaze.</p><p>Zuko narrows his eye. “Why would you want to come? You’re just going to have to sit there while I do <em> actual </em>work. You haven’t even eaten.”</p><p>Sokka’s stomach growls right when Zuko says that but he crosses his arms and looks at Zuko defiantly. “Neither have you,” he retorts.</p><p>“I’m going to a tea shop where there is food and tea.”</p><p>“But you <em> serve </em> the tea and food, not eat it.”</p><p>“I can still – aren’t your friends going to be worried? You haven’t seen them since yesterday.” The way Zuko says friends makes Sokka feel a little uneasy. He doesn’t emphasize it or say it angrily. He sounds...sad, maybe? Jealous, disappointed? Sokka can’t put his finger on it but he doesn’t want to make Zuko feel that way. </p><p>Zuko is right, though, but worried isn’t exactly the right term. Aang will be worried, of course he will. Toph probably won’t be worried, she’ll just be silently (or not so silently) cackling and making inappropriate jokes about him and Zu – <em> Li</em>. And Katara, Katara will be worried but she will also be angry. Very angry. Scarily angry, actually.</p><p>Sokka sighs. “You’re right. Katara is going to kill me.”</p><p>Zuko snorts. “Maybe you shouldn’t have decided to stay the night without telling her.”</p><p>“Hey! It’s your fault. You’re the one who was all tired and said that you wanted me to stay and –”</p><p>“<em>Shutupshutupshutup</em>!” Zuko flushes all the way down to his neck. “That’s not what happened. And I was <em> tired </em>.”</p><p>“<em>Sure</em>,” Sokka says disbelievingly. “But you are right. I should go.” He gets up, mourning the tea he’ll never get to drink and goes to follow Zuko out but he’s stopped by Iroh.</p><p>“Thank you, Sokka,” Iroh says, “for bringing some life to him. And for the fire lilies, they are his favourite.”</p><p>Sokka feels like his legs have turned to jelly and all of a sudden there’s a lump in his throat. He shakily smiles at Iroh. “It’s no problem. And thanks, for giving me a – a – a...friend. A friend my age.” He doesn’t know how Iroh knows about the flowers seeing as they’re in Zuko’s room but he chalks it up to old man things.</p><p>Iroh smiles and motions for him to go back to Zuko who is waiting for him outside.</p><p>When he’s outside Sokka turns to Zuko with a smirk on his face to shake this weird feeling he’s having.</p><p>“You sure you can handle a day without me, sweetheart,” he asks teasingly, cocking an eyebrow at Zuko.</p><p>Zuko scoffs but the effect is downplayed by the fact that his face is red. “Please, I'll be fine. I’m finally going to get some peace and quiet. You should worry about yourself, you said your sister would kill you.”</p><p>Sokka’s face falls. “Oh. Yeah. Well,” he bows to Zuko and winks, “wish me luck, fair maiden.” He stands upright and flicks Zuko’s head before hurrying off to the monorail in the Lower Ring, leaving Zuko sputtering behind him.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>“Where have you been?” Katara yells the second he closes the door to their house and steps inside. Sokka flinches as he turns to look at Katara. Yup, he’s dead.</p><p>“I was –”</p><p>“I can’t believe you had the <em> audacity </em> to disappear for a night and then just show up the next day thinking it’s okay. Do you know how worried I’ve been – how worried <em> we’ve </em> been!”</p><p>Sokka looks to Aang and Toph for help but Aang grimaces and looks at Sokka with sympathy while Toph is grinning too wide for it to possibly be human.</p><p>“You know we can’t trust anyone in this city! It’s full of weirdos and people who don’t think the war is real. You could’ve been kidnapped for all I know! How could you just disappear for a whole night? A little warning would’ve been nice. I was so worried! I’m so mad at you right now, I can’t believe you would –”</p><p>“Katara!” Sokka interrupts loudly. “I was with my – my – my <em> boyfriend</em>. Li.” He sighs loudly, resigned to the fact that he’s just going to have to pretend Zuko is his boyfriend. Zuko really can never know about this. Never.</p><p>Katara’s mouth snaps shut. “Oh. Well, you should’ve told me yesterday that you were going to stay the night.”</p><p>Sokka shifts from foot to foot awkwardly. “I didn’t exactly <em> mean </em> to, it just sort of happened.” Then his eyes go wide and he closes his mouth (carefully avoiding Toph’s wide grin and suggestive eyes. She’d really like Iroh) because he just realized what that sounds like. Tui and La, he’s really done it now.</p><p>“Ohhkay, I just would’ve liked some warning,” Katara says. A pause. “Are you sure you can trust this guy?”</p><p>Sokka snorts. Isn’t that the million yuan question? The question he’s been trying to answer through all fourteen meetings? Sokka wants to tell Katara that he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know if he can trust Zuko, but that he wants to. But he can’t. He can’t tell her that so he just has to throw her off the trail.</p><p>“Yeah, of course I can trust him. He knows about the war, and he’s a refugee. Plus, I don’t think Li can even try to be dangerous,” Sokka says, surprising himself at how easily and readily the words come out. And how they sound <em> right</em>. “He’s too awkward and sweet, he goes on long rants about theater. I can trust him.”</p><p>“You really like him, don’t you?” Katara asks softly, a small smile on her face. </p><p>“I – uh – um –”</p><p>“You get this look on your face whenever you’re talking about him, you just look so happy.”</p><p>Sokka stares at her. “Uh, yeah, sure.”</p><p>Spirits, he’s really in it now.</p><p>He doesn't know, doesn't know what's wrong with him. Zuko had been so annoyed, rude, awkward, and hesitant before. But he's – he's opening up, he looks at Sokka in a way that Sokka doesn't think any one has ever looked at him like. Zuko...Zuko does this <em>thing</em> where he looks absolutely beautiful, and he decides to <em>tell</em> Sokka things. Sokka doesn't know what made him open up; he's just scared. It had been so simple before, so easy, Sokka hadn't thought there would be any consequences. Maybe Zuko thought the same thing. But he's in too deep now. In way too deep. He can see how big a hole he has dug in the way he touches Zuko, lingering than necessary; in the way he catches himself staring; in the way he constantly has a feeling of swarming (<em>fluttering</em>) in his stomach; in the way that he longs for Zuko to tell him everything; in the way he feels pride and happiness when Zuko tells him about his mom, his family. He's too far in. </p><p>What if he falls?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i’m finally making good use of those ‘sharing a bed’ and ‘literal sleeping together’ tags</p><p>ashhjjhbfdgsaj also we hit 100 kudos and i guess that's not a lot but it makes me vv happy</p><p>next chapter features: a rainy day, a dance competition, and zuko as an angry cat</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. you read my mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 6</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay monday is almost over im sowwy but anyways here is this very messily done, absolutely horrible, short, sorta filler chapter. i hate it but i hope you enjoy</p><p>i also might edit this tomorrow and/or later so like it might change???</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number seventeen </em></p><p>It’s raining (raining a <em> lot </em>) when Sokka enters the Pao Family Tea House. The second he steps inside, he’s ushered back outside into the pouring rain by Pao.</p><p>“You can’t come inside like this!” he says irritatedly. “You will get the whole shop wet. We’re closed!” He slams the door shut and flips the <em> Open </em> sign to <em> Closed </em>. </p><p>“Rude,” Sokka mutters, almost slipping on the wet ground. </p><p>The door opens behind him and he hears a soft “Sokka?”. Sokka turns around to find Zuko standing in the rain, his apron still on and his hair already wet.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Zuko asks. “I didn’t think you’d come today, given the weather.”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “Eh, what’s a little rain?”</p><p>“A <em> little </em> rain?”</p><p>“It’s not too bad.”</p><p>Zuko shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ll go and talk to Pao about letting you in so you won’t have to go back to the Upper Ring in this weather.”</p><p>Sokka opens his mouth to thank Zuko but Zuko is already back inside the tea shop. Sokka taps his foot against the ground, unable to keep still, when Pao pushes Zuko out of the shop.</p><p>“Why would you go outside? The whole shop will be soaking wet!” Pao slams the door shut and turns away.</p><p>Sokka laughs a little at Zuko’s angry and annoyed expression. “I didn’t get you fired, did I?”</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes. “No. You did get me stuck in the rain, though.”</p><p>“It’s not so bad,” Sokka says, reaching up to brush away wet hair that’s falling out of his wolf-tail. “I actually kind of like the rain.”</p><p>Zuko shakes his head. “You’re weird.” Zuko grabs his wrist and pulls him along. “Now can we please find some shelter? I’m cold.”</p><p>“Aww, is the wittle baby a wittle cold? Can he not stand a wittle wain? Is he shivewing?”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>Sokka laughs and pushes another stray strand of hair away. “Sure, Zuko, we can find some shelter.”</p><p>It turns out, though, that everywhere else is closed because of the rain; so they decide to just head to Zuko’s apartment. That is until…</p><p>“What do you mean you can’t open it?”</p><p>“I mean,” Zuko says sheepishly, “I left my key inside because Uncle and I have the same shift today so Uncle has the key, and now I can’t go back to the tea shop because Pao won’t let me in and Uncle can’t bring me the key because then <em> he’ll </em> be outside and Pao, being Pao, won’t let <em> him </em> in.”</p><p>Sokka pauses for a moment, taking all that in. Then a wide grin spreads on his face. “So we’re stuck here in the rain?”</p><p>“Stuck is a bit of an exaggera –”</p><p>Sokka interrupts him by grabbing his wrist (<em> grabbing his wrist </em>because that’s just what they fucking do now). “Come on! You, sir, have never had proper fun in the rain and now you get to.”</p><p>Zuko’s cheeks turn a faint pink as Sokka drags him away. “Have fun in the rain? What are we supposed to do, go swimming?”</p><p>Sokka ignores him. Brushing more hair out of his eyes, he says, “Rain is fun.”</p><p>“Not really,” Zuko shrugs and pulls Sokka under the roof of an alley. “It just wastes your time and you can’t do anything.”</p><p>“Not true! You’re just close minded.”</p><p>“Close minded, sure.”</p><p>Sokka opens his mouth to retort when a piece of wet hair falls in front of his face again. Thoroughly annoyed, he gently pulls out his hair tie and holds it in between his teeth, gathering his wet hair back up. When his hair is securely tied, he looks up to find Zuko staring at him with red cheeks and his mouth shaped to form an adorable “o”. He opens his mouth again to ask why but decides against it, asking Zuko will only make him shut down. He’ll just let it go.</p><p>“There are so many things you’re missing out on, Zuko.” Sokka drags him out from under the roof in the alley and into the waterfall of rain. It instantly runs through his already wet hair, and down the back of his soaked shirt, he tilts his head up into the water. He laughs in it and then opens his eyes to see Zuko staring at him, arms crossed in front of his chest, hair plastered to his cheeks and looking like a disgruntled cat.</p><p>“You’ve never run out into rain like this?”</p><p>“Why would you?”</p><p>Sokka laughs again and splashes in a puddle. “You need to have more fun, Prince Zuko.”</p><p>“No I don’t. What can you even do in the rain?”</p><p>“Many things,” Sokka replies. “You can jump in puddles.” He does just that to emphasize his point. “Or you could search for rainbows. Or we could have raindrop races!”</p><p>“What’s a raindrop – never mind.” Zuko raises his eyebrow. “That sounds like stuff you’d do when you’re a little kid.”</p><p>Sokka looks down. “Yeah, well, I didn’t get to do it as a kid so…” he shrugs, “I’m doing it now.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you get to…?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “It didn’t really rain back at the South Pole and well then my mom...and then my dad left so…” he trails off, shrugging. “I didn’t really like the rain when I started travelling with Aang but I had to get used to it and I grew to love it. Aang is the main reason I love the rain. He says that ‘Every type of weather has its beauty, it’s Mother Nature’s way of showing you that she’s there; she works hard to give us this beauty and we need to appreciate it.’”</p><p>Zuko sighs. “I also never really liked the rain. I never did those things you’re talking about. I just thought the rain ruined things and made things harder, it always prevented me from going out. Plus, my father never wanted us to play in the rain because we would get our clothes wet and we would be wet and muddy, and make the whole palace wet and muddy.”</p><p>Sokka doesn’t know how to respond to that, but he does know that Zuko deserves to have some fun. He pulls Zuko more into the rain. “Come on.”</p><p>“Come on where?”</p><p>“We’re gonna dance.”</p><p>“Dance?”</p><p>“Yes, Zuko,” Sokka says with a laugh, “dance.”</p><p>“<em> Why </em> would we dance?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “Because, Aang says he used to do it with the monks and that it’s fun. He tried to do it with Katara but he kept stepping on her toes and she sent me to do it with him – that didn’t work out that well, though, because Aang and I just ended up stepping on <em> each other’s </em> toes.”</p><p>He grabs Zuko’s hand and puts it on his waist and then rests his own on Zuko’s shoulder, he takes Zuko’s other hand and clasps his hand with that hand.</p><p>“We don’t even have any music,” Zuko complains. “How can you dance without music?”</p><p>“It’s symbolic,” Sokka says with a shrug, moving his feet side to side.</p><p>“Symbolic?” Zuko asks in disbelief but still matches Sokka’s movements. “Neither of us even know how to dance!”</p><p>“Also symbolic,” Sokka points out.</p><p>“Do you even <em> know </em> what symbolic means?”</p><p>Sokka ignores that. “What do you mean you don’t know how to dance? Didn’t you have those fancy Fire Nation royal parties where you were forced to dance? Toph said that she had to do that.”</p><p>Zuko shrugs one shoulder. “We didn’t really dance in the Fire Nation. Azula and I usually stood near Mother or Father during those parties, or we weren’t even allowed in. I never really got to dance.”</p><p>Sokka spins Zuko and pushes them closer together. “Well now you do.” </p><p>Zuko suddenly feels much warmer to the touch but Sokka doesn’t mind, it feels nice compared to the chill of the rain. In fact, he feels Zuko’s warmth spread all around him, ending at his toes. Or maybe that’s something entirely different (maybe not entirely) that has something to do with the strange fluttering in Sokka’s stomach. Sokka wonders if Zuko can feel that fluttering in Sokka’s stomach with how close they’re pressed together. Maybe it’s some sort of condition, the fluttering, maybe there’s something wrong with Sokka.</p><p>Sokka can feel a smile spreading on his face. Because. Zuko shied away from affection. He still sort of does. He'd flinched and he hadn't liked it way back when Sokka had first touched him, but he allows so many little soft touches now. And he allows this? It makes Sokka feel funny. Zuko is in no way fully trusting him yet, but it's almost like he's trying.</p><p>“This is stupid,” Zuko comments after a while. </p><p>“You’re stupid,” Sokka retorts.</p><p>“I am <em> not </em> –”</p><p>“<em> Anyways </em>,” Sokka interrupts, “you just don’t wanna have fun. I don’t think you’re even capable of having fun.”</p><p>“I can have fun!” Zuko defends hotly (pun intended).</p><p>Sokka spins Zuko again and then dips him, their faces inches from each other, his arm catching around Zuko’s waist, and Zuko’s leg pressed in between Sokka’s. “Then prove it, pretty boy,” he says cockily, licking his lips – he doesn’t miss the way Zuko tracks that movement with his eyes – and tilting his head.</p><p>Zuko swallows a little shakily, his face pink, but he still raises his eyebrow challengingly. “I will.” He pulls himself up and twirls Sokka, turning him around so that Sokka’s back is pressed up against Zuko’s front and that their arms are entwined. Zuko turns his head slightly so that his lips can brush against Sokka’s ear, Sokka resists the urge to shudder; he smirks and whispers, “Lets see if you can handle that, though, Water Tribe.” Zuko’s lips linger next to Sokka’s ear, puffs of air breathing down Sokka’s neck, Sokka almost shivers. </p><p>Instead he turns himself around so that he’s facing Zuko and so that their chests are pressed together. “Of course I can handle it, dearest Fire Prince.” </p><p>They fall into step, letting the pitter-patter of the rain control their movements. All the scenery around them dissolves. It’s just Sokka and Zuko, Zuko and Sokka, alone.</p><p>Zuko’s gold eyes glisten, and a small, soft, secret smile spreads across his beautiful face.</p><p>Uncontrollable feelings surge through Sokka’s body, and his fingers tingle in delight. His hand brushes across Zuko’s cheek. His body acting on its own, no chains to hold him back from this calm, this...happiness. From Zuko.</p><p>Sokka draws him closer to his chest, and Zuko slowly and hesitantly wraps his arms around Sokka’s waist.</p><p>Zuko’s dark locks fall over his eyes, like a curtain blocking out the sunlight. He starts to withdraw his hand to brush away her hair, but Sokka’s hand clutches onto his. He carefully lays Zuko’s thin and long-fingered hand on his shoulder. Sokka delicately tucks the dark piece of hair behind Zuko’s ear, and those gold eyes twinkle back at him in greeting.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t know how long they stay there, swaying to imaginary music, the rain soaking them thoroughly, and their small smiles never leaving; but what he does know is that soon the rain slows to gentle drops occasionally falling and when he looks up, there’s a rainbow arching above them. Sokka laughs, letting his head fall into the crook of Zuko’s neck.</p><p>“What?” Zuko asks, voice a little strained for reasons unknown.</p><p>Sokka brings his head up, meeting Zuko’s eyes. “Look up.” He watches Zuko’s head tilt up, revealing his pale throat, and when Zuko looks back down, Sokka puts his hand in the crook of Zuko’s neck and rests their foreheads together. “Jumping in puddles, check. Dancing in the rain, check. Finding a rainbow, check.”</p><p>He doesn’t know what he’s doing with Zuko, doesn’t know what this means. But what he does know is that he doesn’t want this to stop. For now they can just pretend there isn’t any war and that they’re not on opposite sides, just for now.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>“You’re soaking wet,” Katara states the second he enters the house.</p><p>Sokka tries to fight the smile that appears on his face. “Yeah, I am.”</p><p>“And you’re happy about that?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs and opens his mouth to answer but Toph beats him to it, “He’s happy about his excursion in the rain with his boyfriend.”</p><p>“No!” Sokka denies quickly. The last thing he wants is for them to press him for information about Zuko. He’d rather keep that to himself, especially what happened today.</p><p>“You went out in the rain with Li?” Katara asks. “You know what happened the last time you spent a day in the rain. You got sick! Aang doesn’t have time to get us some frozen frogs.”</p><p>“I’m not sick,” Sokka says, shaking his head. “I wasn’t even cold. Zu – Li kept me warm.”</p><p>“I did <em> not </em> need to know that.”</p><p>“Spirits, no! Not like that,” Sokka shakes his head again. “Honestly, Katara. He’s just a...really warm person in general, he runs hot.”</p><p>“Ohhkay, whatever you say, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka sighs. “Do we have to do this every time I come back?”</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“Do you guys have to interrogate me about Li every time?” he asks exasperatedly.</p><p>Katara furrows her brows. “We don’t do that.” She turns to Aang. “We don’t do that, right, Aang?”</p><p>Aang stutters, “Uh – well, I don’t know. We <em> kind </em> of do but – but I’m not saying that we always do it.”</p><p>Sokka raises his eyebrows at Katara and crosses his arms, Aang having proved his point for him.</p><p>Katara sighs, admitting defeat. “Look, Sokka, I just want you to tell me about him. To let me in. You’ve got all these secrets – especially about him – and I just want to <em> know </em> about him and I want you to let me in. You’ve never gone farther than basic things, like, his favourite food or whatever. You’re so much <em> happier </em> these days because of him and I just wanna know how this – how this guy you met is the reason that you’re so carefree now, and happy.”</p><p>Spirits, Sokka wishes he wasn’t lying to them. But what confuses him even more is why Katara keeps saying he’s happier. He hadn’t noticed that he was acting happier. <em> How </em> was he acting happier? How did Zuko make him happier? This is all so confusing.</p><p>“Sokka,” Aang says, interrupting his thoughts, “if you’re not ready for us to meet him and if you’re not ready to tell us about him, that’s okay; but just know that we’re here for you. It’s nice to see you happy like this and I’m glad Li is making you feel like this. You don’t have to hide it from us.”</p><p>“Yeah, Snoozles,” Toph says through a mouthful of food, “we’re here for you.”</p><p>Sokka glares at her even though he appreciates what she said. “Uhm, sure, thanks guys. Thanks.”</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number eighteen </em></p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka looks up at the old man next to him and pauses scrubbing a teacup. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Thank you,” Iroh says.</p><p>Sokka furrows his brows, nose scrunching up in confusion. “I already told you, Iroh, it’s no problem. I’m over here all the time, the least I can do is wash some dishes. Katara would kill me if I wasn’t polite.”</p><p>Iroh shakes his head. “No, not that – well, yes, thank you for that but that’s not what I meant. Thank you for Zuko, Sokka. I know I already said this but it means a lot to me to see him like this. He’s carefree and happy, happier than I’ve seen him in a long time.” He nods his head towards where Zuko is watering the fire lilies on the small table (the fire lilies <em> Sokka </em>bought). “He keeps them here and waters them but he always takes one with him, everyday, and then he brings it back, putting it back in the vase. He thinks I don’t know but I do, I would be a fool not to notice.”</p><p>Sokka hopes that his face is not red because it suddenly feels very warm. Zuko takes a fire lily with him everyday? Who knew Zuko was such a roman – shut up, logical, back of the mind, Sokka, this is nothing like that. It never will be (<em> and I don’t want it to be </em>, Sokka thinks but maybe that’s not entirely true).</p><p>Sokka opens his mouth to answer Iroh and ends up mouthing like a chameleon-goldfish for a solid minute. “Yeah it’s – it’s – I told you before, I’m just glad to have a friend – a friend. At least, I think we’re friends.”</p><p>Iroh chuckles. “Believe me, son, you two are definitely friends. With the way Zuko talks about you, though,” he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively (oh no), “some might say you two are even more than friends.”</p><p>“Oh. No. That’s not – that is to say – Zuko and I – I mean – we’re just friends. Yes. Friends. Absotootly just friends. Friends only.”</p><p>Iroh only gives him a wink before turning away but Sokka barely registers that. He’s too busy thinking about what he just said, not cringing at the word vomit (though he should be) but focusing on that one word. Friends. He said it so many times. Yet, everytime it came out of his mouth it sounded weird. It sounded strange and confusing. Out of place.</p><p>Sokka finishes scrubbing teacups and takes out his journal to ask Zuko questions (the asking questions and meeting part of their meetings has become very relaxed and casual but Sokka still brings his journal to Zuko’s apartment every day because it’s easier to pretend he’s here for answers than acknowledging that he just wants to spend time with someone his own age. It’s easier than acknowledging this <em> friendship </em> they have going on because it’s too confusing).</p><p>Throughout their entire meeting, though, Sokka is distracted. He fumbles all the questions about hierarchy, he spaces out so many times that Zuko gets irritated, he catches himself staring at Zuko and tracing every feature with his eyes (going over Zuko’s mouth multiple times), doesn’t concentrate, and drops lots of ink on himself. When he’s finally being ushered out the door by an annoyed (yet fond???? Why is he fond?) Zuko, he comes to a small realization.</p><p><em> Friend </em> is not the right word.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes i made zuko and sokka gay dance in the rain with a rainbow above them and what about it?</p><p>yes their dance was inspired by catradora and what about it?</p><p>yes i don’t actually know how slow dancing works and what about it? </p><p>but i seriously don’t know how slow dancing works, someone explain please</p><p>and for those thinking that sokka has finally figured out his big, obvious crush on dearest zuko. he has not. if he did, we would not be here. so i am sorry to disappoint but i betcha this dumbass just thinks that friend isn't the right word because now they’re best friends (i betcha, tf am i talking about i wrote this shit)</p><p>i really hope y'all don't hate this chapter as much as i do i might just go back and edit the whole thing</p><p>next chapter features: a flashback, ponytail zuko, and some sibling bonding that should make you cry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. better to leave it unsaid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 7</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>flashback is set in book 1 in between episode 14 and 15</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
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<p>Sokka sits up with his back straight, shuddering and covered in sweat, blankets pooling around his waist. He takes a few deep breaths, his hands shaking so much that he can barely brush hair away from his eyes. He shakes his head and blinks his eyes multiple times, trying to get rid of the image of a red flag with a sea raven on it, and the word “Mom” brushing his lips, haunting him like a ghost.</p>
<p>It’s been a while since he had a nightmare about That Day (the one he doesn’t talk about because it’s too painful, the one he doesn’t talk about because he doesn’t want to seem weak, the one that’s up there with what happened at the North Pole. The Poles bring back bad memories despite being familiar and home-like). Sure, Sokka never talks about his nightmares but that doesn’t mean they don’t happen. He keeps them quiet because the others have enough to worry about, and Katara already does enough mother-henning, she doesn’t need this to burden her to. He gets nightmares almost every night – silent terrors, quiet, shaky breaths, and soft rustling blankets – he can’t even remember the last time he – no, that’s not right, he <em> can </em> remember the last time he slept with no nightmares. It was about a week ago ( <em> meeting number thirteen </em>, his mind supplies), that day he fell asleep at Zuko’s place (more like Zuko forced him to sleep there); he slept really well that night. Didn’t even wake up once. Weird.</p>
<p>This nightmare, though, this nightmare really shook him. Before, he used to have the occasional nightmares about Mom but then he met Aang and even though he’d been aware of the war, it suddenly seemed so much more real. Like a dark cloud looming above you. And then there was all that stuff with Zuko, where Zuko was chasing them. </p>
<p>There was one time...one time where Sokka thought he would have the most nightmares he’d ever had in a night but he’d been too confused to even have any nightmares. That had been very confusing and one of the weirdest days of his life (albeit, very educational).</p>
<p>
  <em> “Yo, Kat, I’m going to go pee,” Sokka yelled over to where Katara was standing by the campfire and started to trot towards the forest behind them. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Katara gave him a scathing look. “You could have phrased it another way,” she said, disgusted. “Just don’t go too far, your tracking skills need some work.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “My tracking skills are the best out of all of yours,” Sokka grumbled, leaving the campfire behind. </em>
</p>
<p><em> He wandered the forest for a while, trying to find a good spot to do his business. Once he finished, he decided that he’d rather not have Katara’s horrible salad for dinner again; so he tried to search for some animals to hunt. It wasn’t long before they found him, in hindsight, he probably should’ve realized that he couldn’t even </em> hunt <em> in peace. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> Wait. They weren’t watching him while he was peeing, were they? Sokka hoped not, the Fire Nation might have guts but they wouldn’t...right? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Whatever. Not important right now. What was important was the men on rhinos (rhinos. Why rhinos? Could someone explain to Sokka why the Fire Nation rode on rhino?) that we’re currently circling him. Sokka’s eyes darted around, quick as lightning, calculating possible ways to get out of this, his hand reaching for his boomerang. There was no sign of Zuko (or his uncle), he’d probably stayed on his dumb ship and let his crew do all the work. Typical Fire Nation prince. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka’s hands enclosed on the handle of his boomerang as the men in uniforms around him raised their arms. Seeing an opening, Sokka pulled out his boomerang, ready to throw it and hit each of these jerkbenders’ heads, but a very warm, calloused hand grabbed his wrist and stopped him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Hold your fire,” a raspy voice said behind him. Sokka looked behind him quickly to see Zuko holding his wrist. Sokka tried to snatch his wrist away but Zuko held on tighter. “Don’t be difficult, Water Tribe,” he snarled. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Who, me?” Sokka asked because he really never learned to keep his mouth shut. “I’m never difficult.” And he spat right in Prince Zuko’s face. Which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t his best idea but it was so satisfying.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Zuko made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl and started to move to presumably shoot fire at Sokka but seemed to think better of it. “Nothing bad needs to happen to you. Just tell me where the Avatar is and I’ll let you go.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I’m not telling you anything,” Sokka glared. “You can try and force it out of me but I will never give up my friends like that.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You think you’re noble? You think you’re a warrior, a hero?” Zuko asked harshly and and Sokka tried not to let on how much that affected him. “You’re not gaining anything by keeping him ‘safe’, I will find you anyways. You have a chance to walk free, use it.” </em>
</p>
<p><em> Sokka inched his face closer to Zuko’s, teeth bared. “I </em> am <em> gaining something. I’m making sure the Fire Nation doesn’t win, I’m making sure that my </em> friend <em> is safe, and, best of all, I’m gaining the </em> honour <em> of being loyal to my friend. Not like you’d know anything about honour.” </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “You little –” for a moment it looked like Zuko might strangle him (or burn him. That comment probably wasn’t a good idea) but instead he roughly spun Sokka around and tied his hands behind his back, throwing him on the back of one of the rhinos. And then everything went black. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> — ☼☽ — </em>
</p>
<p><em> Sokka woke up with his hair over his face and his wrists bound. His machete, his other weapons, his </em> hair tie <em> (what the hell was he supposed to do with a hair tie?), and his boomerang ( </em> his boomerang <em> !) gone. Sokka looked around the room he was in. It seemed that there were no prison cells on Prince Zuko’s ship because Sokka was thrown into a small room with a small bed, the room faintly smelled of smoke. Gross. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> There was a handling of keys and two guards came in the room holding a tray of food.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka immediately started yelling (what else was he supposed to do?). </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Hey, nutbrains! How much does Prince Angry Jerk pay you? Certainly can’t be that much seeing as you guys can’t even afford proper prison cells.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The guard on the left growled (what was it with Fire Nation people and growling?). “You watch your mouth.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Oh, yeah,” Sokka smarted. “Tell the prisoner to watch his mouth, so unoriginal. Are you guys even men? You can’t even take an insult that wasn’t even directed towards you.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You –” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I have a name you know, dumbass. It’s Sokka – a beautiful name, I know – and I don’t exactly appreciate being called ‘you’. Come up with something better, pretty please? Or are you too dumb to even think of another name?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The guard on the right slammed the tray down. “You shouldn’t speak that way. I should wash your mouth out for you.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Maybe you should wash your face first.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Listen here –” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Boring,” Sokka interrupted. “You guys are just so boring. Are all Fire Nation people this boring? I bet your parents weren’t this boring when they decided to –” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “That’s enough,” a voice that was not one of the guards’ interrupted. Sokka looked up to see Zuko standing at the doorway with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. He nodded his head towards Sokka. “Gag him.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The left guard (Leftie, Sokka named him) moved forward and took a piece of red fabric to tie around Sokka’s mouth. Sokka, out of instinct, bit the guard and kicked him in the balls. Bad idea because Zuko was right there and he’d brought backup and now Sokka was gagged. So this was fun. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Okay, maybe that wasn’t his best moment and not his best idea (seeing as there are multiple guards, eyeing him with dislike as they exit to guard the door), but everybody makes mistakes, right? His boomerang was a touchy subject. Now, getting out of this predicament, that’d be the mark of a true Water Tribe warrior. He would just have to think up a genius escape plan and defeat all those squinty-eyed Fire Nation soldiers. No problem. Maybe.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka sighed, trying to shift his wrists so that the binds wouldn’t chafe. He already got a headache from all the yelling and the knocking out stuff, the last thing he needed was chafed wrists. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> He closed his eyes; breathed deeply through his nose, in and out, concentrating on calming down. Focus, he thought. You know what to do. Look around, analyze, plan. Easy as pie. Sokka darted his eyes around, trying to work silently as to not alarm the guards, looking around for something sharp enough to cut the binds off.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But there was absolutely nothing. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> What a boring prison. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But...but the guards had these spikes on their helmets. If Sokka could make enough racket (and if there was one thing Sokka was good at it was being annoying) then the guards would have to come in and he could cut the binds off his wrist.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Very carefully, he stood up, bit the gag off and – started yelling. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “How awful is the Fire Nation anyway? The royal family must be so uptight, I betcha they all have horrible sex. No emotions, you know what I mean? Are all Fire Nation people this bad? Is it just a genetic thing? Or just a firebender thing? Or maybe –” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “What the hell do you think you’re doing, kid?” one of the guards demanded, barging into the room. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka shrugged. “Passes the time.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The guard cracked his knuckles. “You’ll pay for that, Water Tribe savage.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I don’t think I will,” Sokka said cheerfully and bounded towards the guard, jumping up and cutting the binds off his wrist. Aang’s tactics really did help, huh? Sokka kneed the guard in a place that most people would not want to be kneed in. The guard let out a loud groan and more guards came in to see what the racket was about. With now free hands, Sokka punched one of the other guards and spotted his boomerang. Grabbing the boomerang, he kicked another guard in the balls and threw his boomerang at the last one, catching it in his hand. He yanked open the door and ran out. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> All the hallways of the ship looked the same, just grey metal and the flickering red-orange of firelight, as Sokka ran around. He tried to memorize the way, but it was too confusing.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> His running was interrupted by Zuko walking in the hallway, presumably to see what the racket was about. Sokka smiled, this’ll be fun. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Wha –” Zuko started but stopped. “How did you get out?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka shrugged. “You guys are idiots, clearly you’ve never met a Water Tribe nuisance.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You – you little smarta –” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Who, me?” Sokka said, whipping around. He lunged forward with an uppercut, point-blank. Zuko had no time to dodge or block; he slammed against a wall as Sokka’s fist connected solidly with his face. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> It was quite possibly the most satisfying thing Sokka had ever done in his life. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Man, that felt good,” he grinned from ear to ear, rubbing his wrists. They were sore and tender, skin scraped raw with friction. There were two red circlets on his forearms, like the traces of shackles. He was already itching to get out of this place.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka kicked a temporarily knocked out Zuko for good measure before running back through the halls. He found some stairs leading up to where (hopefully) the top deck was, but he passed a room where something blue and silver caught his eye. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “My weapons!” Sokka whisper-shouted gleefully. He ran and grabbed them, tucking them in his little pack on his back (his hair tie he can deal with later). Except for his machete which he twirled in his hands as he ran up the stairs.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Looking around for something that he can ruin on the ship, Sokka smirked. “Right, who’s up for payback?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Like hell,” he heard, a split-second before he was forced to leap back or get scorched by a raging fireball. The flames seared past his face, too-hot, and dissipated as they shot past him. Zuko held out his hands in a ready position to shoot fire at him. Sokka took that as his cue to drop and roll – not a moment too soon, because the air above his head suddenly turned into an inferno. He made a grab for Zuko’s leg, tugs wildly, and barely heard Zuko’s cursing as he lost his balance, the flames angling upwards as he fell. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Gotcha,” Sokka grunted, but Zuko was up in no time, ponytail swishing behind him. It was rough and they were both fighting with no dignity at all, Zuko had more finesse, more skill at fighting, but Sokka was smarter and faster and managed to hold his own, using Zuko’s heavy armour against him. Zuko, seemingly realizing that his armour was giving him a disadvantage, took off the chest plate, leaving a red fancy Fire Nation shirt thing (how was Sokka supposed to know what it was?).  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka aimed to club Zuko’s head but Zuko stopped him, encircling his lean fingers around Sokka’s wrist. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Not so fast,” Zuko snarled. He attempted to knock the weapon out of Sokka’s hand but Sokka didn’t let him, using the blocking technique that Suki taught him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka pushed Zuko onto the floor of the deck and sat on him, attempting to knock him out, but Zuko stopped him, sitting up so that Sokka was in his lap and was straddling his hips. Their faces were close, and Zuko’s skin was pink as he tried to push Sokka off of him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Let me go, peasant,” Zuko growled. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka hooked two fingers under Zuko’s chin and tilted his face up so that there was almost no distance between their faces. Sokka could feel Zuko’s breath on his face (he smelled...nice?) and his mouth curled into a smirk as he whispered to Zuko, his mouth brushing against Zuko’s, “Make me, Fire Prince.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Zuko’s face turned an even deeper shade of red; out of anger or something else, Sokka didn’t know. He pushed himself up, Sokka rolling to the side, his heart pounding, and made an angry noise. Sokka jumped up, getting into a fighting stance. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> They moved their feet almost in sync, arms held out defensively, bodies close together, Sokka’s hair swishing. It was weird as hell, yet very exhilarating. Sokka had never felt something like this before. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka pushed Zuko, elbows digging into Zuko’s ribs, and kicked his legs at Zuko’s. Zuko lost his balance and was edging towards the edge of the ship (since when did they get all the way to the edge), feet slipping. Instinctively, Sokka wrapped one arm around Zuko’s waist and clutched tight at the neckline of Zuko’s shirt with his other hand. His first thought was to be relieved that Zuko didn’t fall (wait, what?), but then both their eyes widened as they realized what happened and how close together their faces were. Their chests were pressed close together and their faces were inches away from each other once again. Zuko’s mouth made a perfect, comical (well, it would’ve been comical without this situation) “o” shape, and he licked his lips.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> A loud roar from the sky started both of them and Zuko almost lost his balance again if not for Sokka holding him. Sokka looked up to see Appa flying in the sky with Aang and Katara on his back. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Sokka!” Katara shouted as Appa landed on the ship with a growl. </em>
</p>
<p><em> Sokka, still a little bewildered and confused, stared at them. Aang jumped off Appa and threw a gust of wind at Zuko, pushing him to the side and out of Sokka’s arms ( </em> out <em> of Sokka’s arms!), Sokka tried hard not to miss the warmth. Zuko stumbled backwards but caught himself, and aimed to shoot but Aang stopped him. Katara climbed down Appa and yanked Sokka’s arm. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Sokka let himself be pulled onto Appa. Katara fussed over him, scanning for any signs of injuries; she ignored him when he told her he was fine. Sokka watched Zuko and Aang fight while Katara examined him. Aang knocked Zuko down for a second and then sprinted to Appa. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Let’s go!” he shouted, jumping onto Appa.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Zuko yelled as they rose up into the air, and Sokka couldn’t help but stare back down at him, a frown painted on his face and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He swore, for a moment, that Zuko’s eyes met his. </em>
</p>
<p>Sokka sighs, rubbing at his eyes. It had been way back when, when he’d been captured by Zuko – and yet he’s hanging out with Zuko, laughing with Zuko, dancing with Zuko, as if that never happened – sure, it was around, like, five months ago but it still happened. How does he know Zuko has changed (he doesn’t, he doesn’t know that Zuko has changed; but he wants to think so and isn’t he the most qualified person to think so. He has, after all, spent so much time with Zuko)?</p>
<p>Idly, in the back of his mind, he wonders if when Zuko said that he looked nice with his hair down, he was thinking of when they fought against each other and Sokka had his hair down. Sokka’d certainly been thinking about that. It had been so rough and slightly terrifying, yet they moved in sync, countering each other’s attacks. And then Sokka had caught Zuko with his arm around his waist (his <em> arm </em> around his <em> waist </em>!). It was so weird, and confusing and, to this day, Sokka still doesn’t know what it meant. Why was it like that? He’d gone to sleep that night so scared that all the Fire Nation ship nightmares would be back, but they hadn’t. Instead, he’d dreamed of really weird stuff. He’d dreamed of Zuko, and catching Zuko, and just Zuko. It had been weird, so weird. And now it’s come back to haunt him.</p>
<p>Rude.</p>
<p>Sokka yawns but decides against going to sleep. He walks outside and climbs up onto the roof, wanting some air, hugging his knees and looking up at the sky. It’s painted a dark blue, fading into some black-blue, and it’s littered with stars that twinkle back at him like they know all his thoughts. It’s almost a full moon tonight. Almost. </p>
<p>Yue would understand. She wouldn’t understand, per se, exactly what he’s going through; but she would listen. She would listen to him with her bright eyes and white hair, and she’d try to help him. Spirits, he misses her. It just isn’t fair that they got so little time together. Before he knows it, he’s talking to her.</p>
<p>“Hi, Yue,” he says softly. “Been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve missed you. A lot. I know you said you’d always be with me, but...it’s not really the same. I’ve been hanging out with Zuko, our meetings remind me a lot of hanging out with you. You guys are kind of alike. I guess you already know that Zuko and I hang out. You’re probably thinking that I’m so stupid for trusting him. Or. Maybe you’re not. I guess I wouldn’t know. Seeing as we didn’t really get to know each other that well. I wish we did. I’m just so confused, you know? I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Yue. I just want to stop being confused. Maybe you’d tell me that confusion is a part of life. You were – are – very spiritual. Like Aang.</p>
<p>“I failed with you, Yue, you know? I know Chief Arnook said that it wasn’t my fault, and my friends say the same – Spirits, even you’d say the same – but I made a mistake, I failed. Am I doing the same thing with Zuko? What if I’m making a mistake by letting him in. I’m just going to get hurt all over again. Why am I trusting him? He’s Fire Nation.” Sokka sighs, shaking his head. He doesn’t need stupid thoughts. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll find Appa and get the message to the Earth King and everything will be fine. None of this would even matter.” He blinks back tears (tears he didn’t even <em> know </em>were there), looking up at her. “I miss you.”</p>
<p>He looks down.</p>
<p>Moments of silence and then he hears quiet footsteps and Katara’s frantic voice. “Sokka? Sokka, where are you?”</p>
<p>Sokka sniffs quietly, trying to make it look like he wasn’t crying. “I’m up here.”</p>
<p>“You’re up – oh.” Katara climbs up onto the roof and sits next to him. “What are you doing up here? Why are you awake.”</p>
<p>“Why are <em> you </em>awake?”</p>
<p>Katara gives him a <em> look </em>. “I got up for some water and noticed you weren’t in bed.”</p>
<p>Ah. Right. He should’ve thought that through. They all sleep in the living room in sleeping bags together because Ba Sing Se gives them the creeps meaning if one of them sneaks out it’s pretty obvious. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep,” Sokka says with a shrug. “Nightmare.” He pauses. “About Mom.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Katara looks down and scoots closer. “Yeah I get those too. I know it was years ago but…” she trails off but Sokka knows what she means.</p>
<p>“Nothing really helps,” he says. “So I came out for some fresh air and I started talking to Yue.” Katara’s silent for a while and Sokka feels the tears come back to sting his eyes. “I know, it’s stupid because she’s gone and she can’t even hear me, let alone talk to me, but –”</p>
<p>Katara nudges her shoulder against his. “It’s not stupid. It’s sweet and I – I understand. I mean I was never that close with Yue but I understand wanting to talk to someone you’ve lost. I’ve done it plenty of times with Mom.”</p>
<p>Sokka wipes at his eyes and sniffs. “I love you, Kat.”</p>
<p>“I love you too, Sokka.”</p>
<p>Sokka rests his head on her shoulder, probably soaking it with tears, and closes his eyes.</p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p><strike><em> date </em></strike> <em> meeting number twenty </em></p>
<p>“Sokka?”</p>
<p>Sokka looks up at Zuko. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Why are you sitting at a table in the tea shop?”</p>
<p>“What? Am I not allowed to?” Sokka asks, rubbing at his temples and looking around at the papers on the table.</p>
<p>“Well,” Zuko says slowly, “no, but you usually just wait for me or you just go to the apartment. I gave you a key.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Sokka says, not looking up from his papers. “But I can’t work at the house because Toph is being obnoxious and all the other high end tea shops in the Upper and Middle Ring have horrible tasting tea so I’m here.”</p>
<p>“What are you working on?” Zuko asks not unkindly, looking at Sokka with adorable curiosity, and resting his hand on the table.</p>
<p>“Are you trying to distract me?” Sokka snaps, head jerking up from his papers, his mouth pressed firmly tight. He regrets what he said in an instant.</p>
<p>“N – no, sorry.” He pulls his arm away but Sokka grabs his wrist, stopping him.</p>
<p>“No, I’m sorry,” Sokka apologizes, shaking his head. “I’m just a little stressed, I have a lot of planning to do and I don’t know how I’m going to do it. And we still haven’t found Appa.”</p>
<p>Zuko shrugs. “It’s okay. I’ve snapped at you more times than I can count.”</p>
<p>“Not recently,” Sokka whispers, like it’s a secret.</p>
<p>Zuko looks down. “No, not recently,” he whispers too because it is. It is a secret.</p>
<p>Zuko, thankfully, doesn’t ask what he’s planning. It’s not that Sokka doesn’t want to tell him, it’s that he can’t tell him. Zuko is just so confused right now and if Sokka tells him that they’re planning to invade the Fire Nation on the day that firebenders won’t have any bending is probably not a good idea. They haven’t even talked to the Earth King yet, and Katara says that it’s pointless to plan but Sokka needs to <em> do </em> something. And this just means that they’ll be ready when they <em> do </em> talk to the Earth King.</p>
<p>“I’ll get you some tea, okay? Uncle says tea helps with stress,” Zuko says, smiling slightly. “What do you want?”</p>
<p>Sokka waves a hand at him. “Just get me whatev – get me your favourite tea.” Zuko nods and goes to leave but Sokka catches his wrist again. “And, Zuko? Thanks.”</p>
<p>Zuko shrugs. “It’s whatever.”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles.</p>
<p>Ten minutes later, Zuko hands him a steaming cup of jasmine tea.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know jasmine was your favourite,” Sokka says, taking a sip of tea. “You never said.”</p>
<p>“It never came up,” Zuko shrugs.</p>
<p>“This is the tea that you got me that day I was here with Jin, isn’t it? I told you to just get me whatever and you got me your favourite? Aww, Zuko, that’s so sweet.”</p>
<p>“<em> How </em> is that sweet? I just got you tea.”</p>
<p>“But you got me your <em> favourite </em>.”</p>
<p>“I will force you to leave.”</p>
<p>“No you won’t.”</p>
<p>“Yes I will.”</p>
<p>“No you won’t.”</p>
<p>“Yes I – Agni, Sokka, I hate you.”</p>
<p>Soka sighs happily, downing the rest of his tea. “No. You don’t.” He fishes in his bag for some money and finds a few copper pieces to hand to Zuko but Zuko refuses.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to pay for it,” Zuko says.</p>
<p>“What? Why not?”</p>
<p>“Because,” Zuko insists, “you’re stressed and you don’t need to pay for it.”</p>
<p>“I got the tea and now I have to pay for it. Aren’t you going to get fired for making me not pay?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“I think you will.”</p>
<p>“No I won’t. You don’t need to pay.”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Sokka concedes. “I’ll just tip you instead.”</p>
<p>“What? No.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“<em> Zuko </em>,” Sokka says exasperatedly, “just let me tip you.”</p>
<p>Zuko very much blushes and then takes the money out of Sokka’s hand. “Fine, whatever.” He turns on his heel, looking incredibly flustered and Sokka tries very hard not to think about that and Zuko’s reaction to Sokka saying his name.</p>
<p>Zuko...Zuko is different now. He's sweet, shy, awkward, and he still gets angry and he still can't take a compliment and he's still slightly insensitive, but he's...different. He makes Sokka...he makes Sokka feel. Feel. He makes Sokka feel. Sokka wonders what happened to the horrible, rude boy who chased him around the world. Does he want this to stop? Because it had been bad at first, and annoying and horrible, but was all of that worth it? Not just the capturing and the chasing, but the yelling and the glares and the avoidance of touching in the earlier meetings. Was that worth it so that they could get here now? Because...because Sokka is <em>feeling </em>right now. He's <em>feeling</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you can’t tell that that ONE part in the flashback was inspired by catradora in princess prom go watch she-ra. anyways book 1 zukka just makes me go :))))))))))</p>
<p>no those rhino dudes were not the rough rhinos, i had a whole argument with my bf about that and if i should make it clear. i decided to put it in the notes just so he would shUt UP</p>
<p>haha, not me crying while writing sokka talking to yue</p>
<p>my bf said that since this chapter was mostly the flashback that it was that one weird ‘80s episode from riverdale (if you know what i’m talking about i’m sorry that you had to go through that) and i am no longer speaking to him</p>
<p>next chapter features: a play, almost getting caught on a date that is not a date, and the reason that i have the ‘idiots to lovers’ tag</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. why can't i leave it unsaid?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 8</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number twenty-two </em></p><p>“Sokka,” Zuko says, crossing his arms, “you should probably go.”</p><p>Sokka pouts. “Dude, stop being such a buzzkill.”</p><p>“Don’t call me dude,” Zuko grumbles.</p><p>“Oh?” Sokka arches a brow. “Would you prefer –”</p><p>“<em> Don’t </em>!”</p><p>“– sweetheart; darling; pretty boy; honeybun –”</p><p>“<em>Honeybun</em>?”</p><p>“– fair maiden; <em> dearest </em> maiden –”</p><p>“I’m not a maiden!”</p><p>“– babe –”</p><p>“Okay, okay. I get it, that’s enough. Seriously.”</p><p>Sokka laughs. “You’re so easy to piss off, buddy.” Zuko scowls. “And we haven’t even gotten food yet. We can’t leave.”</p><p>“Your friends will worry,” Zuko protests.</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “It’ll be fine. I haven’t even been gone that long. You need to chill.”</p><p>Zuko runs a hand through his slightly uneven, dark hair. “I don’t need to chill. What are we even going to – Sokka, <em> where </em> are you going?”</p><p>Sokka ignores him. He bounds up to a man who is handing out flyers. “Excuse me?” Sokka asks. “What are these?”</p><p>The man hands him a flyer. “There’s a play tomorrow night at the Ba Sing Se Theater in the Lower Ring. It’s called <em> The Curse of Love</em>.”</p><p>Sokka pretends that he didn’t just snort in his head at the name. “Where can I buy tickets?”</p><p>“Here,” the man says in a bored voice. “Two copper pieces each.”</p><p>Sokka hands the man four copper pieces and accepts the two tickets. He turns excitedly to Zuko and exclaims, “We are going to go see a play.”</p><p>“We?” Zuko asks, arching an eyebrow.</p><p>“Yes,” Sokka rolls his eyes, “<em>we</em>. That’s why I bought two tickets. The play is tomorrow and <em> we </em> are going.”</p><p>“And why, pray tell, are we going to see a play?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “Why not? You like plays; you’ve only said it fifty times.”</p><p>“I’ve only said it once or twice.” Zuko shakes his head. “But what is the <em> reason </em> for us seeing a play?”</p><p>“Getting to know each other, duh,” Sokka replies. “Come on, <em> Zuko</em>, it’ll be fun.”</p><p>Zuko blushes and scowls. “Fine, whatever.”</p><p>Sokka thrusts Zuko’s ticket into his hand. “Don’t lose it,” he says and starts to walk away backwards. He’s a few feet away when he cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “And by that I mean give it to Iroh, you’ve got a habit of losing things.”</p><p>“I do not!” Zuko denies but Sokka’s already stalking off with a wink and a mock bow.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p><strike> <em> date </em> </strike> <em> meeting number twenty-three </em></p><p>“Sokka, what <em> are </em> you doing?”</p><p>Sokka glares at his sister. “What does it look like I’m doing?”</p><p>Katara raises an eyebrow. “It <em> looks </em> like you’re smoothing down your robes obsessively. What are you all dressed up for? Where are you going?”</p><p>“I’m –”</p><p>“He’s going on a date with his boyfriend,” Toph interjects, popping up somehow.</p><p>“<em>Toph</em>!”</p><p>Toph shrugs. “You are.”</p><p>“Well,” Sokka says, “if you <em> must </em> know, yes, I am. Now leave me alone while I get ready.”</p><p>“Aww, that’s sweet,” Aang says. “Where are you guys going?”</p><p>“It’s just a date.” Sokka shrugs. “We’ll go wherever.”</p><p>“You should let your hair down,” Katara suggests, “it’ll look nice.”</p><p>Sokka glares at her. “I don’t remember asking for your help.” But he does exactly what she said, untying his hair and letting it fall loose (he doesn’t think about how the last time Zuko saw him with his hair down he thought it looked nice). He’d put on the Earth Kingdom robes that Joo Dee had stored in the closets in the house. Partly because he didn’t want to wear the clothes he wore almost everyday because that’s what Zuko always sees him in and partly because he just wanted to try them on and they reminded him of Suki. </p><p>“I’m leaving,” Sokka announces. His heart warms when his friends wish him good luck. </p><p>Walking through the Upper Ring and going to the monorail, he tries not to think about how this <em> is </em> actually kind of like a date. That’s not what Sokka wants, though (right?). He doesn’t want to <em> date </em> Zuko. They’re just friends. He’s not going to be <em> dating the enemy</em>. Imagine that. Sokka snorts in his head at the thought of dating Zuko. That would be ridiculous. And weird.</p><p>Sokka steps off the monorail and tries hard not to speed walk to Zuko’s apartment (he just doesn’t want to be late, that’s all). As if Zuko could feel he was there, he comes out the second Sokka is about to knock on the door.</p><p>Zuko flushes very red when he sees Sokka. “Uhm, hello.”</p><p>Sokka raises his eyebrows and laughs casually as if he was not freaking out moments ago. “Chill out, my dude, no need to be awkward. I’m still me.”</p><p>That gets Zuko back to himself. “Sadly,” he says, rolling his eyes but the blush is still there.</p><p>Sokka shoves him and then holds out his arm, smiling slightly and saying, “Shall we?”</p><p>“I’m not holding your arm, Sokka.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Sokka, I am not holding your arm.”</p><p>“But, my dearest –”</p><p>“If you call me a maiden I swear to –”</p><p>“– maiden, how can you not want to hold my strong and muscular arm?”</p><p>Zuko glares at him. “I will kill you.”</p><p>“Fine, fine,” Sokka says defensively, putting his hands up, “you don’t need to hold my arm; but when you regret that decision, let me know.”</p><p>“Why would I regret that decision?”</p><p>Sokka can’t help but smile as they walk to the Ba Sing Se Theater and hand the ticket-taker their tickets, irritated but find Zuko is one of his favourite Zukos. </p><p>Sokka and Zuko settle into seats next to each other somewhere in the middle.</p><p>“What is this play even about?” Zuko asks, leaning close to whisper in Sokka’s ear.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Sokka answers, shrugging, “the play flyer cover thing just looked cool.”</p><p>Zuko gives him a look of disbelief and shakes his head like he can’t believe what he’s hearing before turning back to look at the stage.</p><p>Sokka can see silhouettes of people on the stage and then the spotlight appears on a haughty looking man dressed in black. It seems they’re all at a party (they are certainly dressed very nice) and the man (whose name Sokka learns is Li Gitun) criticizes everyone on just about everything.</p><p>“This Li Gitun guy is kind of like you, Zuko,’ Sokka whispers. “He criticizes everything, dresses all fancy, thinks he’s all high and mighty, and he’s even got the Li in his name.”</p><p>Zuko elbows him and makes a shushing gesture. Sokka rubs at the spot where he was elbowed, muttering “ow”.</p><p>Li Gitun starts to criticize every single couple at the party thing and then criticizes everything about love in general. Sokka is sort of getting pissed, like, can’t this guy shut up? Zuko seems to be pretty interested.</p><p>“Love,” Li Gitun states in his haughty voice, “is for the weak. You are all fools to love. Don’t you know that love ruins everything? If I was ever contaminated with loving I would kill myself.”</p><p>“Then that you shall,” a loud, booming voice says, echoing around the theater.</p><p>Everyone turns to look at a beautiful figure in dark, flowing robes, the figure seems to be floating, with a silver and gold crown atop its head. Several people gasp.</p><p>“You,” the figure says, “Li Gitun, shall never be able to love.”</p><p>Li Gitun raises an eyebrow. “I don’t care for love,  I don’t want to be able to love.”</p><p>The figure glides closer, looming ominously over Li Gitun. “You are a selfish, pompous, bastard, Li Gitun. You have never cared for others, you have always been selfish and cruel. When have you ever thought of anyone but yourself? <em> Never </em>. You are stupid, and idiotic, and you think you are so amazing, that will be your downfall. I will curse you in ways you could never imagine. You will never be able to love, but not in the way you think.”</p><p>Li Gitun, to his credit, is unflinching. Sokka has to admit that’s kind of badass of him. “And just who do you think you are?” he asks condescendingly.</p><p>“I am Amaterasu of the Sky. Beware of how you speak to me.”</p><p>Li Gitun snorts. “Okay, ‘Amaterasu of the Sky', what power do you possess.”</p><p>“The power,” Amaterasu says and her voice is so echoing that Sokka gets chills, “that I possess will make you wish you had never been born. Li Gitun, you will never love. You say love is weak but it is you who is weak.” She raises her arms, revealing intricately designed hands, all black and gold swirls and sparkles, and Sokka sees balls of light appear around her fingers. The people on stage let out gasps and “oohs” and “ahs”. Amaterasu twirls her fingers and the balls of light become one, forming a shape that Sokka can’t figure out. She aims the light to Li Gitun who falls to his knees, breathing heavily. The light consumes him and Sokka can no longer see him, but he does hear heavy, sharp breaths coming from Li Gitun. The light grows stronger and brighter, shining on Amaterasu’s long, flowing, golden hair; her masked face glowing almost white. Li Gitun lets out a scream and then, with a brighter flash of light, Amaterasu disappears, leaving trails of gold, sparkling dust behind her. </p><p>Li Gitun lets out a shaky breath before standing up and shaking off his robes. He pressed his mouth into a thin line. “Well,” he says to the people at the party, “nothing to see here. Simply a party effect. There’s no such thing as curses.”</p><p>The curtains close and Sokka turns to look at Zuko with a “can you believe this guy?” face on. Zuko just smiles slightly and shrugs. </p><p>Sokka finds the next part of the play a bit boring. Li Gitun goes home and pretends nothing happened (as one does when they’re an ignorant asshole). A bunch of other stuff happens, yada yada, Sokka kind of zones out. Until, Li Gitun is at another party (yes, <em> another </em> one) and he bumps into someone else.</p><p>“Excuse me,” Li Gitun says haughtily, “you should watch where you're going. Bumping into people is extremely rude.”</p><p>A woman with long, dark hair turns around. She narrows her eyes. “Pardon me, sir, but it seems you bumped into me.”</p><p>“I did no such thi – oh,” Li Gitun cuts himself off mid sentence and his mouth hangs open unattractively. “Yes. Of course. You’re right, my fair maiden.”</p><p>Sokka snickers quietly at the words “fair maiden” and has to stop himself from continuously laughing. He turns to look at Zuko who, even in the dark, is blushing brightly and scowling.</p><p>“Shut up,” Zuko whispers, elbowing him but Sokka doesn’t stop laughing.</p><p>“I don’t think I will, <em> my fair maiden</em>.”</p><p>Zuko kicks his leg. </p><p>Li Gitun smiles at the woman and bows, holding out his hand. “Li Gitun.”</p><p>The woman looks unimpressed but she still bows and puts her hand in Li Gitun’s. “Sala, I’m Sala.”</p><p>“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman,” Li Gitun says and wow are his flirting attempts bad. For someone who doesn’t want any love, he sure is flirting hard.</p><p>“Hmm,” Sala hums, mouth pressing into a thin line. She pulls her hand back. “Charming.” Sokka stifles a snort.</p><p>The rest of the party, ball thing goes on with Li Gitun constantly trying to flirt with Sala (and failing epically). When the curtains close again Sokka leans close to Zuko to whisper something</p><p>“I don’t understand,” he whispers. “Why is Li Gitun flirting with Sala if he doesn’t care for love?”</p><p>Zuko gives him an exasperated look. “Li Gitun <em> doesn’t </em> care for love. He’s flirting to assert his wealth and his dominance. Li Gitun is selfish and just thinks that if he can get Sala to like him he’ll be appreciated more. I think it also has to do with the curse. Amaterasu said that he will ‘never be able to love but not in the way he thinks’.”</p><p>Sokka smiles at Zuko’s explanation because it’s kind of adorable how passionate Zuko is about theater. </p><p>There’s some more things that happen and there’s an intermission but Sokka isn’t really paying attention (don’t get him wrong, the play is interesting but not <em> that </em> interesting. He’s only really here for Zuko). </p><p>Sala seems to warm up to Li Gitun after he acts all nice and proper – not like a pompous bastard. Sokka can’t help but notice, though, that every time Li Gitun is with Sala he seems like he’s in pain. Every conversation, every interaction, he seems to glow a soft gold and he stumbles. his face crumbling. Sala seems to notice and her face always scrunches up in confusion every time. </p><p>Sala and Li Gitun part ways after their date-that’s-not-a-date and Li Gitun heads for his fancy mansion. He’s in even fancier sleep robes and just as he starts to get in his bed there’s a flash of bright light. </p><p>Sokka jumps as Amaterasu appears in the room and his hand finds Zuko’s (who wouldn’t be scared of a pretty lady that could totally beat them up?). Zuko just lets him hold his hand and leans into the touch. His hand is warm against Sokka’s and his thumb slowly rubs circles on Sokka’s hand. Sokka’s heart flutters and that...<em> swarming </em> in his stomach is back. </p><p>Li Gitun jumps when he sees Amaterasu. “What are you doing here?” he asks accusingly.</p><p>Amaterasu glares at him, gold and silver eyes shining through her mask. “I warned you, Li Gitun, I warned you of the curse. Now look at you, constantly in pain because of love. Your love.”</p><p>“I do not love anyone,” Li Gitun spits out. “Sala is just an object of attraction. There is no love in my life.”</p><p>“Wrong answer,” Amaterasu says regally. “Women are not objects, Li Gitun, you will regret this.”</p><p>Amaterasu turns away but Li Gitun stops her by yelling, “You say I will regret all of this but I won’t. I am who I am, Amaterasu of the Sky, and I will not change. Your curse can do nothing to me. It <em> is </em> nothing.”</p><p>Amaterasu’s golden hair rises up behind her and her arms raise. “Do not talk back to me, Li Gitun, you will see soon what I mean. I don’t think you will have predicted it, nor do I think you will like it.”</p><p>Amaterasu disappears with another flash of light, Sokka has to admit that the effects for the play are pretty good. </p><p>Li Gitun gets into his bed, shaking, and muttering some stuff that Sokka can’t hear. The curtains close.</p><p>Li Gitun, as predicted, pretends nothing happened the next day; but something seems to change and he seems to have decided on something. He goes on about his day, tries to get Sala’s attention, fails to get Sala’s attention, acts like that doesn’t bother him, and doesn’t shut up. He invites Sala to meet him at the bridge where “the moonlight shines the brightest” and Sala agrees, albeit a little confused. Sokka thinks that Li Gitun is going against everything he has ever argued for himself, he really does seem to be falling in love with Sala.</p><p>Li Gitun waits at the bridge where he had asked Sala to meet him, holding a rose. When Sala arrives, long dark hair blowing slightly and cheeks flushed from the “cold” of the night air, he hands her the rose. Sala takes the rose, curling her fingers around it, and mutters a thanks.</p><p>“Sala,” Li Gitun says, looking at the moon, “I have been meaning to tell you something.”</p><p>Sala raises her eyebrows. “Tell me something?”</p><p>“Yes. I want – I want to tell you that I – I –” for someone who is normally very pompous and well-spoken, Li Gitun seems to be unable to speak eloquently.</p><p>“Spit it out, Li Gitun,” Sala says impatiently.</p><p>“Sala, I – I think you are the most amazing,” Li Gitun says quietly, turning to look at her with a smile. “My dear maiden, I –”</p><p>“I am not your maiden, Li Gitun,” Sala says coldly.</p><p>“I only meant –”</p><p>“I am nobody's maiden. Now what is it that you want?”</p><p>“I – I want you to know, Sala, that I think I lo –”</p><p>“You do not love me, Li Gitun,” Sala interrupts, voice icy, “nor, do I love you. You seem incapable of loving anyone.”</p><p>“No, that is not –”</p><p>“You think I have not noticed?” Sala asks, raising one eyebrow. “You are rude, selfish, and cruel, to everyone but me. I would be a fool not to notice. I am not your <em> love </em>, I am nothing to you, really. You see the beauty and that is all you care about. It has happened before.”</p><p>“No, Sala –” Li Gitun protests.</p><p>“You have never truly cared for me, nor have I for you. I have been biding my time, waiting for the right time to let you know that <em> I </em>know. Li Gitun, you cannot fool me.”</p><p>“Sala,” Li Gitun says desperately, “it may have been like that at one point but it isn’t now, I swear.”</p><p>Sala shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Li Gitun, but I do not love you; and if you did love me then you would let this go.” She turns away, dark hair swishing behind her and her robes dragging on the floor. There’s a loud sound and then (fake) lightning shows up in the sky and strikes down Sala. </p><p>Normally, Sokka would be questioning how there had been lightning seeing as the sky was cloudless and there had been no rain but, one: it’s a play; and two: it’s just so sad. He didn’t want Sala to die. She was so badass and awesome. And maybe he’s crying a little but that’s not the point.</p><p>Li Gitun lets out an anguished: “No!” He rushes after her and checks for a pulse but there isn’t one. Tears slip down Li Gitun’s face as he screams into the sky. “Strike me too, lightning! Strike me too! How could you do this to her? She didn’t deserve it! Hit me! Hit me now. No need to hold back!”</p><p>Zuko suddenly looks very awkward and he coughs into his sleeve quietly. Sokka makes a mental note to ask him about that later.</p><p>Li Gitun lets go of Sala’s body and pulls out a knife and then – wow – stabs himself with it. Li Gitun pulls out the knife and fake blood spurts everywhere. He falls down with shaky breaths. For minutes Sokka is condemned to watch this guy die (it looks so real, these guys are some pretty good actors), his breath leaving him until a flash of light appears.</p><p>Amaterasu looks down at Li Gitun, her figure glowing brightly in the dark. She bends down to his level and pulls him into a sitting position. Li Gitun gasps for breath as Amaterasu pulls out a beautiful, bejeweled dagger. She scrapes a line onto his neck with it and tilts his chin up with the dagger. “You deserve this, Li Gitun, you always have.” And she lets go of him, standing up and watching him fall while he takes his last breath.</p><p>The curtains close.</p><p>Chills, literal chills. The play was actually really nice. Sokka wonders if there’s a book he can gift Zuko about this play because Zuko really seems to have enjoyed it. Sokka did too, he’ll admit that he was skeptical at first but it was actually really interesting.</p><p>Sokka gets up, stretching his legs and turning to Zuko. Only to realize that he’s still holding zuko’s very warm hand. He lets go abruptly. “Nice, right? Aren’t you glad that I made you come?”</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. “Yeah, sure.”</p><p>Sokka opens his mouth to tease Zuko some more when he remembers Zuko being weird when Li Gitun was shouting at lightning. “Hey, why were you –”</p><p>Sokka freezes as he hears voices, voices he knows. It’s his friends. And they really can’t find him here with Zuko. </p><p>“Why was I –”</p><p>Sokka looks at Zuko, cutting himself off. “Zuko, quick, I need you to kiss me,” he says desperately, saying the first idea that comes to his mind so that his friends don’t find out he’s here.</p><p>Zuko flushes crimson. “You need me to what?” he asks, voice cracking on the last word. </p><p>“I need you to kiss me!” Sokka whisper-shouts.</p><p>“I –”</p><p>“My friends are coming and they can’t see us!”</p><p>Without waiting for an answer (which, when Sokka thinks about it later, was kind of rude and he should’ve waited to see if Zuko was comfortable) Sokka pulls Zuko closer and presses his lips firmly against Zuko’s. </p><p>Zuko almost instantly melts into the kiss and Sokka can feel how warm his lips are and how warm he is in general. It’s hesitant at first but Zuko slowly gains confidence. One of Zuko’s hands snakes its way around Sokka’s waist and the other one buries itself into Sokka’s hair. Sokka holds the scarred side of Zuko’s cheek softly, his thumb rubbing slow strokes back and forth, and the fact that Zuko doesn’t flinch or still at all has warmth blooming in Sokka’s chest. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss, eliciting a soft groan from Zuko and the noise is the most beautiful sound Sokka has ever heard. Zuko is perfection and he’s so soft (all that jaggedness, all that roughness, closed off, grumpy, rude Zuko barely there. No trace of him. Sokka wonders when that Zuko disappeared and when he became this Zuko. Maybe he was always this Zuko and Sokka never noticed) and Sokka thinks he’s going to die. Then there’s Zuko’s tongue and wow is Zuko beautiful, and amazing, and a really good kisser. His fingers tug a little on Sokka’s hair and Sokka leans into the touch, pushing their bodies closer together. </p><p>Everything about this, every minute, every second, Sokka wants to keep frozen in time, he wants to take hold of this and never let it go. He wants to keep pressing his body closer to Zuko’s so there is basically not an inch between them. Maybe time will stop for Sokka. It certainly feels like it has. The moment their lips connected, the moment Zuko’s lips touched Sokka’s, time must have stopped; how else would Sokka be feeling this way? His heart pounds in his chest as his knees get weaker. He can only focus on how soft Zuko feels against his mouth, how addictively he invades all his senses. It isn’t clear if he’s dreamed this moment to life, but there is raw emotion in the way Zuko’s fingers curl around his. </p><p>He hears the voices of his friends drift away until Sokka can no longer hear them but he and Zuko make no move to break the kiss. Instead, Zuko pulls at Sokka’s hair again, gently, and Sokka wraps his other arm around Zuko’s waist, tugging him as close as possible. It feels perfect – Zuko kissing him. Kissing him perfectly. Sokka doesn’t think he’ll ever have enough of this, nothing could ever measure up to this.</p><p>It’s over too quick when a familiar voice yells, “Kiss somewhere else, lovebirds!”</p><p>Sokka and Zuko break apart, agonizingly slow, trying to savor every moment of the kiss, making sure they’re still close to each other, to look in the direction of where the voice came. Sokka finds himself looking at Jin who has a smirk on her face. </p><p>“Who knew that I could’ve predicted this?” she says, cocking her head.</p><p>“No – wait – this isn’t – that’s not –” Sokka scrambles for words while Zuko stutters under his breath. </p><p>“Save it,” Jin says with a smile. “I don’t think you’ll be able to think of an explanation for you guys kissing out in the open. I’m happy for you guys, really.”</p><p>“Jin!”</p><p>She starts to walk away but turns around. “I did say Li seemed much more interested in you than me that first day we met,” she winks and leaves. </p><p>“Why does she always do that?” Sokka mutters, shaking his head. He turns to look back at Zuko, only to realize that they’re still in each other’s arms and – oh wow.</p><p>Zuko looks wrecked. </p><p>His hair is everywhere (did Sokka even touch his hair?), his face is flushed pink, his lips are bright red, he’s biting down on his full and kiss-bruised lips, his pupils are blown so wide that Sokka can only see a small circle of gold, and said golden eyes are glancing anywhere but at Sokka.</p><p>“That was your plan?” Zuko asks incredulously.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t stare at the way Zuko’s teeth catch on his bottom lip and most certainly does not think Zuko looks beautiful. </p><p>“Yes?” he says it like a question and instantly cringes at it. “We’re both wearing Earth Kingdom clothes, they wouldn’t have noticed if we were...kissing...”</p><p>“Kissing,” Zuko repeats flatly.</p><p>Sokka nods. “Yes. Kissing.”</p><p>Zuko glances away again. “We couldn’t have ran away or something?”</p><p>“It was the first thing that came to my mind, okay?”</p><p>“Right,” Zuko says distantly. “Well, we should, uhm, go?”</p><p>Sokka nods again. “Yes, absolutely.”</p><p>They walk awkwardly out of the theater and walk even more awkwardly to Zuko’s apartment. Sokka has this weird urge to grab Zuko’s hand. He doesn’t. </p><p>Sokka stops at the door. “We’re – we’re cool, right, Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko nods absentmindedly. “Yeah, of course.”</p><p>“I just – I know I should’ve asked but I didn't – I didn’t want them to find you and...hurt you. They wouldn’t trust you.”</p><p>“And you trust me?” Zuko asks, biting his lip. Sokka hesitates and apparently he hesitates too long because Zuko scowls and looks away. “Don’t answer that, it’s pretty obvious what you think.”</p><p>“No, wait! Zuko I –” Zuko turns back around to glare at him, and Sokka feels his anger spiking. “What am I supposed to say, Zuko? That I do trust you? After everything?”</p><p>“You could try!” Zuko yells</p><p>“Try?” Sokka repeats incredulously. “Then tell me; whose side are you on? If I can trust you, if I need to try, I need to know that.”</p><p>“It’s not that simple!”</p><p>“Not that simple?” Sokka gives a bitter laugh. “You –”</p><p>“Do you even know what I’ve been through?” Zuko shouts. “How can you expect me to choose? This is – this is all this is? You just want me to choose? I’ve practically followed you blindly through this – whatever we’re doing – and – and almost trusted you! Now what? After everything I’ve been through, you want me to ‘choose a side’?”</p><p>“Don’t you – don’t you see what they do? The Fire Nation – it – and – how can you take that side?”</p><p>“I’m not taking any side! What’s wrong with you? You don’t even know me.”</p><p>“Know you? I know plenty!” Sokka steps closer, pointing a finger at Zuko’s chest and glaring hard. “The Fire Nation took so much from so many people! From me! From everyone around the world! For absolutely no reason. How can I know that you’re not like them?”</p><p>“I guess you’ll never know,” Zuko snaps.</p><p>“Yeah, I never will,” Sokka spits out. Sokka can’t see properly, the world isn’t right to him, it’s like a painting with the wrong colours; there’s nothing of – of proper substance, no solid lines, nothing to hold him together, hold his emotions together. It’s all blurred away by his anger.</p><p>“You’re unbelievable.”</p><p>“Yeah, well at least I’m not a killing machine.”</p><p>Zuko leans down, breathing fast. “Is that all you think I am? A killing machine?”</p><p>“That’s what all firebenders are!” Sokka says firmly. But...does he truly think that? Is he just as bad as Jet? If all firebenders are killing machines, what about the people in the Fire Nation town that Sokka saved? He hadn’t known if any of them were firebenders.</p><p>His mind feels so clouded, he’s unaware of anything outside him and Zuko right now. How could he have been so stupid? How could he just hang out with Zuko like this?</p><p>“The Fire Nation may have started the war, but the prejudice you all have towards firebenders who have done nothing at all but are able to firebend isn’t right either.” Zuko glares fiercely. “I’ve never, ever killed anyone in my entire life, Sokka.”</p><p>“But that’s also what you don’t understand, Zuko!” Sokka finds his voice rising even higher, but it’s desperate now, like he needs to get Zuko to listen. “You grew up on the side of the war where you thought what you were doing was right. You didn’t have to go through your home being destroyed. I’ve been hardened by the war, I’ve barely had the chance to grow up because of the war.”</p><p>“You think I have, Sokka? I didn’t have a normal childhood either. The war changed me too.” Zuko turns away, slamming the door to the apartment, and all the previous anger in Sokka dries up, it fizzles away. The blast of rage and fury reduced to smoking remains. Flickering, and burning out. Like fire. Like fire. </p><p>Like fire.</p><p>Like. <em> Fire </em>.</p><p>Sokka sighs and leans his head against the wood of the door. He imagines Zuko does the same, that Zuko rests his own forehead against the door, a mirror image of Sokka. After all, don’t they parallel each other? Aren’t they two sides of the same coin? Water and fire, shadowed by a younger sister – a prodigy bender, having to work hard to be known, under appreciated. Sokka had thought that’s what they were, he’d thought that that’s what they had done, found comfort and relation with the other.</p><p>Maybe he had been wrong.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hehe</p><p>what if i write a spin-off about sala and amaterasu falling in love, would y’all read that? maybe i’ll write it after i finish this fic. but anywayyysss what did y’all think of the play (i wrote it myself :))???? was my play shakespeare worthy with all the drama and death? i wanted to make it more detailed or whatevs but i've got a lot of school work and i figured sokka wouldn't really be paying attention so</p><p>the part at the start where li gitun was cursed with the light or whatevs was inspired by when viren (ew) was at the sun warriors palace in the dragon prince and he was being like tested or whatever. </p><p>next chapter features: a broody sokka, jetttt (whom i love), and sokka obsessing over what happened in this chapter</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. you know i talk too much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 9</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set before and during lake laogai</p><p>i am so very incredibly sorry that i missed the update on friday. this chapter was impossible to write and i have a lot of school work so i've been a little busy, but rest assured i'll probs go back to my regular posting schedule soon</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Sokka is fucked. Truly fucked.</p><p>He hasn’t spoken to Zuko in a week and it has almost been longer than that. A <em> week </em> . It’s been a <em> long </em> time since he and Zuko spent weeks apart. The last time was when Zuko fought Azula with them and then, weeks later, Sokka found him in Ba Sing Se. </p><p>It’s been so long. Too long actually.</p><p>And the worst part is, is that Sokka is too freaking scared to go and just waltz into Zuko’s apartment like he always does (technically not true, he usually knocks. He does have a key, though).</p><p>No. Actually, the worst part is that Sokka can’t stop thinking about it. He can’t stop thinking about The Kiss. Why did he kiss Zuko? Why? Now everything is awkward and weird. And now Zuko thinks that Sokka doesn’t trust him (which is confusing for Sokka because he doesn’t <em> know </em> if he trusts Zuko). But the kiss. The kiss. It was so perfect and Sokka still doesn’t understand why he feels the way he does. He went from hating Zuko and trying to get information out of him, to...this? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.</p><p>“Alright, that’s it,” Katara’s voice comes from somewhere inside the house. “He’s going to stop sulking or brooding or whatever he’s doing.”</p><p>“Katara,” comes Aang’s reproachful voice, “maybe he just needs time. We still don’t know why he’s acting like this.”</p><p>Toph snorts. “It’s easy, Twinkle Toes, something happened on his date with his boyfriend and now he’s being moody.”</p><p>Sokka’s anger flares. <em> Moody </em> ? He isn’t being <em> moody </em>.</p><p>“You know, at first I didn’t really believe his whole boyfriend act,” Katara says, voice softening. “But I can tell by the way Sokka acts about his Li that he’s definitely real. He always looks so happy.”</p><p><em> Happy </em> ? He doesn’t look <em> happy </em> when talking about Li. In fact, right now he is very mad at “Li” because “Li” is horrible, and rude, and snappy, and a firebender, and a stupid prince, and kind of pretty, and a really good kisser – the point is; he doesn’t like Zuko right now. He is very mad. Very mad. </p><p>“Yeah, Katara, you’re right,” Toph says gleefully. “Li <em> does </em> make him happy.”</p><p>Sokka wants to punch her.</p><p>“I can hear you guys, y’know?” Sokka calls out. “And I’m not being moody.”</p><p>“Are too!” Toph yells back. </p><p>The three of them shuffle into the living room where Sokka is lying on the pillows.</p><p>“Look, Sokka,” Katara says, “we don’t know what happened or why you’re like this, but you’ve got to fix your...mood or whatever.”</p><p>“My mood?” Sokka repeats, raising his eyebrows.</p><p>Aang nods enthusiastically. “Yes, your mood. You need to stop acting like this and go communicate with your boyfriend. Communication is key in relationships.”</p><p>“And how do you know that this has anything to do with my <em> boyfriend </em>?” He punctuates the last word with sarcasm but it seems to fly over Aang and Katara’s heads.</p><p>“You’ve been like this since you came back from your date with him!” Katara says matter-of-factly. “And I don’t know why, we thought you’d come home happily.”</p><p>“Why would you think that? Dates can go wrong all the time.”</p><p>“Well,” Aang rubs the back of his neck, “we sort of...saw you…”</p><p>“Saw me?”</p><p>“Saw you and Li <em> smooching </em>,” Toph says smugly, making kissy lips.</p><p>Sokka feels himself go red. “That – you guys – why were you –”</p><p>Aang pinks. “Uhh, well, you were gone –”</p><p>“As you are most days,” Katara cuts in. Sokka ignores that.</p><p>“– so we decided to...go do something. The Upper Ring wasn’t doing anything fun and Toph said no to going shopping in the Middle Ring; so we went to the Lower Ring and there was a play and we didn’t have tickets but being the <em> Avatar </em> and a Beifong sort of got us a free pass, and we watched the play and then when we were leaving we saw you and a tall, dark haired boy...uhm...well, kissing...and then we left,” Aang rambles, saying everything in one breath. “He’s pretty good looking from what we saw, though you were kind of covering him.”</p><p>Sokka has to fight the urge to hit his forehead. He would very much like to drown now.</p><p>This is <em>not</em> helping the current war that is happening inside him, and it's <em>not</em> helping his need to not think about the kiss.</p><p>“He is pretty pale,” Katara pipes in. “Are you sure he’s getting enough sun?”</p><p>Oh, Spirits, there is no way that Katara is now trying to <em> mother Zuko </em>. He’s really in it now.</p><p>(Actually, he's been "in it" for a <em>long</em> time already.)</p><p>“I take offense to that,” Toph grumbles. “His skin was the same colour as mine.”</p><p>“You are pretty pale, Toph,” Katara says quietly, resting a hand on Toph’s shoulder. Toph shrugs her off with a scowl.</p><p>Sokka looks away. “Don’t – don’t mention what you saw again. I’d rather not talk about it.” False. Sokka would very much like to talk about the kiss. He wants to talk about how he felt and how his heart was practically beating out of his chest; how soft Zuko’s lips were against his; how after Jin interrupted them he just wanted to yank Zuko towards him and kiss him senseless again; how he’s so confused about all of this because Zuko is the enemy but he’s also Sokka’s friend. He <em> needs </em> to talk about it. He needs to let it all out because he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him right now.</p><p>He can’t.</p><p>He can’t talk to anyone about any of this. Except for Yue, and, as much as he loves her, it’s not the same and it’s not like she can even answer. He wishes Suki were here. She’d put him in his place, tell him about her girlfriend, kick his ass, and help him figure out what to do. Sokka had barely gotten time to know her but he misses her, they’d become close on that journey even though he’d been so worried about losing her like he did Yue.</p><p><em> I’ll hopefully see you soon, Sokka </em>, Suki had said before hugging him tightly, her makeup rubbing off on his shoulder, and maybe Sokka had been kind of close to crying because he’d just lost Yue and who knew if Suki would ever see him again. He’d always wanted a friend his age who he could talk to about stuff (a voice in his head tells him that that’s what he and Zuko are – or were).</p><p>Katara gives him <em> Katara’s Unimpressed, Disbelieving Look Number Twelve </em>, and Sokka heaves a sigh.</p><p>“Is this about...Yue? ‘Cause I know that you’re not over her fully but Li seems to make you happy, and that kiss...I was worried that when you kissed Li that you were sad because of the last time you kissed someone.”</p><p>Sokka crosses his arms. The kiss had nothing to do with Yue. He’ll always love her but she was meant to be where she is now, and Sokka knows that Yue would want him to be able to be with someone else. Sokka has only received two kisses in his entire life and they were strikingly different. Yue’s lips had been cold, the feeling lingering against Sokka’s lips, and it had been a parting kiss; sad and slow, a goodbye he didn’t want to happen. Zuko...Zuko’s lips had been warm, enveloping Sokka in heat and making his brain go fuzzy; Zuko had kissed him slowly first, but then with a passion like his life depended on it, Sokka had never wanted it to stop. But…</p><p>Zuko’s kiss wasn’t real.</p><p>Zuko’s kiss wasn’t real at all. It was fake, a plan (Sokka is after all the plan guy).</p><p>“It isn’t about Yue, Katara. And I would really appreciate it if you stopped looking at me like I’m some hurt puppy who needs help,” he snaps bitterly and immediately regrets it when he sees Katara’s hurt expression. “No, no,” Sokka sighs, “it’s – look, it just isn’t about Yue. She’d want me to be happy. It just – things got weird between us after the...kiss, I’m just a little confused.” That’s not entirely true. He isn’t confused, per se, he’s annoyed. In all honesty, he’s still a little mad at Zuko. Their argument at the door was...well, it just was. Sokka doesn’t even know if he meant half of the stuff he said (he almost didn’t mean <em> any </em> of it. Firebenders are not killing machines. But...how can he be sure about that?). Sokka has the urge to run to the Lower Ring and seek Iroh’s advice, or just see Zuko. He can’t, though. He couldn’t even if he desperately wanted – <em> needed </em>– to.</p><p>Katara smiles a little. “Just go talk to him, Sokka, I’m sure he’s feeling the same.”</p><p>Sokka laughs in his head because there is no way that Zuko is feeling the same as him right now. Sokka doesn’t even know what he’s feeling and he doubts that Zuko is still thinking about a kiss that happened a week ago. But he appreciates what Katara is saying, he really lucked out in the sister department even if Katara is a brat sometimes.</p><p>“I just don’t want to think about it, okay?” he says.</p><p>“Well,” Toph interjects. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, you can help us with Appa.” She crosses her arms, raising her eyebrows, while Aang grins next to her.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>Sokka sticks his tongue out as he moves his brush around on his paper, his legs swinging behind him, when Katara and Aang burst in.</p><p>“We found a printer to make our posters!” Katara says cheerfully, holding out a stack of posters. Aang smiles widely and points at them.</p><p>Sokka looks up, betrayed.”Hey! I thought designing the lost Appa poster was my job. I’ve been working on my Appa all day.” He holds up his drawing of Appa to show them. Katara, very rudely, tries to hold in her laughter. </p><p>Aang smacks a hand to his forehead. “Sokka, the arrow is on Appa's head.”</p><p>“This is his head!” Sokka says indignantly, pointing to his drawing.</p><p>Katara takes the picture from Sokka, looking confused. “Why are feet coming out of it?”</p><p>Sokka snatches the picture back. “Those are his horns.” He hangs his head. ”I haven't seen him in a while, okay?</p><p>“It looks just like him to me!” Toph says gleefully.</p><p>“Thank you, I worked really – why do you feel the need to do that?”</p><p>“Let's just stick with the professional version,” Katara says. </p><p>Sokka angrily rips up his drawing, glaring at his sister, but he isn’t really mad. In fact, he is kind of grateful for this distraction, he doesn’t have to think about Zuko (or that fight, or how he doesn’t know what he wants to say to Zuko, or that kiss, or his confusion at what Zuko had said, or the way Zuko’s opinions and points resonated with him, or how it all escalated too fast, or how –)</p><p>There’s a knock at the door and Aang instantly jumps up, turning to Katara. “Wow, you're right! Patience really pays off!” He opens the door, revealing – “Joo Dee?”</p><p>Joo Dee smiles her weird ass, creepy smile. “Hello, Aang, and Katara, and Sokka, and Toph.” The way she always says that sends chills down Sokka’s spine. </p><p>Sokka walks up to the door where Aang is standing. “ What happened to you? Did the Dai Li throw you in jail?”</p><p>“What? Jail? Of course not. The Dai Li are the protectors of our cultural heritage.”</p><p>Yeah right. The Dai Li are one creepy bunch. The whole “protectors of our cultural heritage” shtick is not going to work with him.</p><p>“But you disappeared at the Earth King's party,” Toph points out.</p><p>Joo Dee’s smile falters a little, but comes back in full force. “Oh, I simply took a short vacation to Lake Laogai, out in the country. It was quite relaxing.”</p><p>Sokka glares at her skeptically. Lake Laogai? Sokka has never heard of Lake Laogai. And if Joo Dee went on a vacation then why was she replaced by someone else also named Joo Dee? The suspicions and confusion are almost enough to take his mind off of Zuko.</p><p>Almost.</p><p>“But then they replaced you with some other woman who also said her name was Joo Dee,” Katara says confusedly. </p><p>“I'm Joo Dee.” Yeah, no duh. </p><p>“Why are you here?” Aang asks, stepping forward.</p><p>Joo Dee holds up a flier. ”Dropping fliers and putting up posters isn't permitted within the city. Not without proper clearance.”</p><p>Sokka throws his hands up in the air exasperatedly. “We can't wait around to get permission for everything.”</p><p>“You are absolutely forbidden by the rules of the city to continue putting up posters.” </p><p>What the fuck, Joo Dee?</p><p>”We don't care about the rules and we're not asking permission!” Aang yells angrily, face turning red. Joo Dee's face turns surprised. She slowly backs out of the house as Aang continues to yell at her, “We're finding Appa on our own and you should just stay out of our way!” He slams the door as she exits.</p><p>“That might come back to bite us in the blubber,” Sokka points out reasonably. </p><p>Aang calms down a little. “I don't care! From now on, we do whatever it takes to find Appa!”</p><p>Toph throws her hands up happily. “Yeah, let's break some rules!” She kicks her leg out and does her fancy earthbending moves to break the side of the house. </p><p>As they exit the house, Sokka can’t help but feel two pairs of eyes on him.</p><p>They work their way through the Upper and Middle Rings and finally end up in the Lower Ring. Sokka hopes that they don’t run into Zuko (or. Maybe he does. It would...it would be nice to see him?).</p><p>“We'll split up to cover more area,” Sokka says; partly because that’s reasonable, and partly because he can cover Zuko’s side with Toph. “Toph, I guess you should just come with me.”</p><p>Toph glares at him peevishly. “Why? Because you think I can't put up posters on my own?” She angrily snatches the brush out of Sokka’s hand and smears glue on the wall. She slams a poster on it, but it’s...backwards. There’s a slightly awkward pause. Sokka wonders if they should tell her when she says, “It's upside-down, isn't it? I'll just go with Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka puts up posters with Toph, his mind not at all on Appa.</p><p>He has a problem. Well. Technically, he has multiple problems (when does he not?).</p><p>Sokka wants to see Zuko. He wants – he needs, even – to run to the stupid apartment and open the stupid door and tell Zuko that he is exploding on the inside, and that he’s confused, but he...misses him. Sort of. It’s just that...he’d gotten used to spending every day with him. And Sokka won’t apologize for sure (it wasn’t fair of Zuko to ask that. It wasn’t fair of Sokka to answer like that). But. Sokka can’t do any of that. Because he’s mad at Zuko. Or he should be, at the very least; and, Spirits, what is he <em> doing </em>right now?</p><p>And the kiss…</p><p>Nope. Not going there.</p><p>Sokka and Toph commotion behind them and Katara’s yelling, and...splashes of water? Spirits help him, there's never a moment of peace.</p><p>“Katara, what is it?” Sokka pulls Toph over to the noises.</p><p>Katara looks at the guy she’s pinned to the wall up and down and says seriously, “Jet's back.”</p><p>The four of them look at Jet. Sokka finds it very hard to not think about how Jet and Zuko...kissed on the ferry to Ba Sing Se. How is he supposed to take Jet seriously? Wait – wait; didn’t the Dai Li take Jet away?</p><p>“We can't trust anything Jet says,” Katara tells them. </p><p>“But we don't even know why he's here!” Sokka reasons. Jet could be of use to them, and not just because Sokka desperately needs to keep an eye on him and maybe (just maybe) interrogate him about Zuko.</p><p>“I don't care why he's here, whatever the reason is, it can't be good!”</p><p>“I'm here to help you find Appa!” Jet interjects. He opens his hand to reveal a missing Appa poster.</p><p>Aang looks at the leaflet and looks back at Katara. “Katara, we have to give him a chance.” Sokka sees the desperation on Aang’s face, how could Katara say no?</p><p>“I swear, I've changed!” Jet says. ”I was a troubled person and I let my anger get out of control –” no shit “– but I don't even have the gang now! I've put all that behind me!</p><p>“You're lying!” Katara tells. </p><p>Toph walks up to Jet and places her hand on the wall he is pinned to. “He's not lying.</p><p>Aang looks back at Katara again. “Katara, we don't have any leads. If Jet says he can take us to Appa, we have to check it out.”</p><p>Katara sighs. “All right.” She casts an angry look at Jet and points her finger at him. ”But we're not letting you out of our sight.”</p><p>She stabs her finger at Jet once more for emphasis, eyes narrowed. </p><p>Jet leads them to an abandoned warehouse, claiming that he heard some people talking about an animal like Appa. Toph finds some of Appa’s fur but a sweeper tells them that Appa was taken yesterday, to “Whaletail Island”.</p><p>Sokka whips out a map. “Far, very far.” He sets the map on the ground to show them. “Here it is. It's near the South Pole, almost all the way back home.”</p><p>Katara looks at Aang consolingly. “Aang, it’ll take us weeks just to get to the tip of the Earth Kingdom. And then we'll need to find a boat to get to the island.”</p><p>“I don't care,” Aang says. ”We have a chance to find Appa! We have to try!”</p><p>Katara turns to Aang. “You're right Aang, right now our first concern has to be finding Appa. We can come back when we have him.” The smile that shows up on Aang’s face is enough to give Sokka a good feeling about this.</p><p>“All right, let's get moving,” Sokka says, shuffling Aang along. The sooner they find Appa, the sooner they can work this out.</p><p>(But the sooner they find Appa, there’s less of a chance Sokka will get to see Zuko and <em> do </em> something.)</p><p>“I'll come with you,” Jet says quickly. Sokka raises his eyebrows but makes no objection. Jet helped them, the least they could do is let him come (also, he’s just a tad bit scared that Jet will find Zuko, and he really doesn’t want that).</p><p>“We don't need your help!” Katara shouts.</p><p>Jet raises his eyebrows at her. “Why won't you trust me?”</p><p><em> Well, it’s pretty obvious why not, Jet. I mean are you stupid? </em>Sokka thinks.</p><p>Aang seems pretty optimistic about going to Whaletail Island to find Appa, even though it’s going to take them a <em> long </em>time. Sokka has his doubts, though. Who knows how long it will take them? And he can’t even say goodbye to Zuko. What’s Zuko going to think? That Sokka just doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore? That Sokka isn’t currently dying inside because of their encounter a week ago? That Sokka doesn’t – just slightly (only slightly) – miss him? </p><p>“Jet!” a surprised voice yells and Sokka turns to see Smellerbee and Longshot running towards them.</p><p>Katara looks at Jet angrily. “I thought you said you didn't have your ‘gang’ anymore!”</p><p>“I don't!” Jet insists, looking at Smellerbee and Longshot with a confused expression.</p><p>Smellerbee runs up to Jet and hugs him tightly. “We were so worried. How did you get away from the Dai Li?”</p><p>Oh yeah. The Dai Li. Jin had told Sokka about that but once Jet showed up again, Sokka thought that the Dai Li had just given Jet a warning or that he’d been let out. But if Smellerbee and Longshot haven’t seen him...</p><p>“The <em> Dai Li </em> ?” Katara repeats, her voice turning shocked. <em> Ever the dramatic one </em>, Sokka thinks. </p><p>“I don't know what she's talking about!” Jet denies, eyes wide and weird ass eyebrows raised.</p><p>“He got arrested by the Dai Li a couple of weeks ago,” Smellerbee explains. “We saw them drag him away!”</p><p>A lightbulb lights up in Sokka’s head while everyone is arguing about who is telling the truth. “No it's not! Toph can't tell who's lying because they both think they're telling the truth. Jet's been brainwashed!”</p><p>“That's crazy!” Jet says frantically. “It can't be! Stay away from me!” he yells while they circle him.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>Smellerbee and Longshot take them to a small building where they seat Jet down in a chair.</p><p>“The Dai Li must have sent Jet to mislead us, and that janitor was part of their plot, too!” Katara says, glaring at Jet.</p><p>“I bet they have Appa here in the city,” Aang says. “Maybe he's in the same place they took Jet! Where did they take you?”</p><p>Jet looks at them all with wide eyes. “Nowhere! I – I don't know what you're talking about!” Sokka sort of feels bad for him.</p><p>“We need to find a way to jog his real memories,” Aang says.</p><p>“Maybe Katara should kiss him. That should bring something back!” Sokka teases.</p><p>“Maybe you should kiss him, Sokka!” Katara says fiercely.</p><p>Sokka raises his hands up in defense. “Hey, just an idea!” And no way is Sokka kissing Jet. Wait – if Sokka kisses Jet and Jet has kissed Zuko then would that mean that Sokka has inadvertently kissed Zuko? Does that mean when Sokka kissed Zuko at the play, he kissed <em> Jet as well </em>? Disgusting.</p><p>“A bad one,” Aang says jealously, glowering at the floor. Sokka has to hold in his snort, a jealous Aang is kind of funny.</p><p>Sokka spots something out of the corner of his eye. “Ooh, wait! I've got it!” He picks up a piece of straw from the mattress next to them and shoves it in Jet's mouth, in true Jet fashion. Sokka regards him thoughtfully, his hand on his chin.</p><p>Jet spits it out. “I don't think it's working.”</p><p>“Try to think of something from your past that triggers your emotions,” Toph suggests.</p><p>Smellerbee’s eyes widen. “The Fire Nation! Remember what they did to your family!”</p><p>“Close your eyes,” Katara says. “Picture it.”</p><p>Jet closes his eyes, while sweat beads start to form on his forehead. His eyes snap wide open and Sokka can see the hurt on his face. He knows that all too well (flashing memories of soot and snow and Katara crying, clutching Mom’s necklace)..</p><p>Jet shakes his head, sweating. “No! It's too painful!”</p><p>“Maybe this will help,” Katara says. She takes some water from her pouch and uses healing to help clear Jet’s mind.</p><p>Jet looks up from the floor. “They took me to a headquarters under the water. Like a lake!”</p><p>Sokka snaps his fingers. “Wait!” Everyone turns to look at him. “Remember what Joo Dee said? She said she went on vacation to Lake Laogai!”</p><p>Jet stands up. “That's it! Lake Laogai,” he says ominously. Is everyone really that dramatic?</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>“So where's this secret headquarters?” Sokka asks, rubbing his hands together as they all stare at the lake in front of them.</p><p>“Under the water, I think,” Jet says, shrugging.</p><p>“There's a tunnel right there by the shore,” Toph says. She points to the side and whistles as she walks to the edge of the shore. She does some earthbending to bring up a slab of rock with an entrance. She moves the rock out the way. They all look down at the tunne, Momo takes one look and flies up. </p><p>Toph volunteers to go first and enters the hole. Sokka carefully follows afterwards, making sure he doesn’t get gross stuff on him. </p><p>They stand behind a wall and Jet peeks to the side to make sure the coast is clear.</p><p>They walk past a room where a member of the Dai Li talks to a group of women.</p><p>“I'm Joo Dee. Welcome to Ba Sing Se,” the Dai Li agent says in a serious, emotionless tone.</p><p>“I'm Joo Dee. Welcome to Ba Sing Se,” the Joo Dees repeat simultaneously. </p><p>Sokka shudders and looks away. Creepy much?</p><p>I think there might be a cell big enough to hold Appa up ahead,” Jet says, pointing to a door ahead of them.</p><p>Walking around the tunnel or whatever it is sends chills down Sokka's spine. He constantly feels like he's being watched, or that bugs are crawling all over him. He swears he sees a skinny guy running out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“I think it's through here!” He opens the door and lights turn on, revealing Dai Li agents hung upside-down on the roof. </p><p>“Now that's something different,” Soka says, eyes wide.</p><p>“You have made yourselves enemies of the state,” Long Feng states. “Take them into custody.”</p><p>The Dai Li agents jump off the ceiling and surround them. Two agents fire rock gloves, but Toph breaks them up and sends the two agents flying through the air with rock pillars. Jet runs toward the agents and breaks two other gloves fired by agents with his sword-hook-things, and trips another. Damn, okay, kind of hot? Aang deals with another pair of Dai Li agents. Sokka and Katara destroy two Dai Li gloves, but a second pair of gloves grabs them. Toph creates a rock wall and she raises ground up, knocking away the four Dai Li agents that attack her. Another rock-glove tries to capture her but Jet swings by (Sokka has literally no clue how he swings. Leave it to Jet to be dramatic and extra when saving someone) to free her. The same agent fires his other rock-glove, but Longshot fires an arrow, destroying the glove. Jet jumps in front of Longshot to hold off more of their rock attacks. Sokka spots Long Feng escaping out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Long Feng is escaping!” Aang shouts, knocking two Dai Li agents away with airbending.</p><p>Jet and Aang go after him, while Sokka, Katara, Toph, Longshot, and Smellerbee try to hold off the rest of the Dai Li agents. </p><p>Sokka kicks one agent in between his legs and throws his boomerang at another. Toph quickly uses earthbending to toss them away and they hurry after where Jet and Aang went.</p><p>Jet is lying on the ground with Aang on his knees. Jet didn’t – no he couldn’t have –</p><p>“I'm sorry...Aang,” Jet says weakly</p><p>“Don't be,” Aang tells him sadly.</p><p>Sokka gathers around Jet with the rest of the group. Sokka finds himself sad and worried, his chest tightening at the sight in front of him. Katara stares open-mouthed at Jet, her hands hovering near her mouth in shock. Snapping out of it, she withdraws water from her water skin. Sokka watches her cover her hands with the water as she kneels down next to him. The water starts to glow. Katara continuously attempts to heal him but after rubbing her hands back and forth three times, the water’s glow fades. The water stains Jet’s clothing, but Katara doesn’t let go.</p><p>“This isn't good,” Katara says, her eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>Smellerbee puts a hand on her shoulder. “You guys go and find Appa. We'll take care of Jet.”</p><p>“We're not going to leave you,” Katara argues.</p><p>“There's no time,” Longshot says. “Just go. We'll take care of him. He's our leader.”</p><p>Sokka stares at Longshot in surprise. He’s never heard Longshot speak. If this means that much to them, he’ll go.</p><p>“Don't worry, Katara,” Jet says softly. “I’ll be fine.” He manages a small smile.</p><p>Katara squeezes her eyes shut and opens them again as she gets up. The four of them leave, glancing back at Jet as Smellerbee sits down next to him and Longshot stands guard, raising an arrow.</p><p>“He's lying...” Toph whispers to Sokka. Sokka closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, focusing on anything but Jet being hurt. He isn’t a stranger to death, the war made sure of that, but it still stings a little. </p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>Appa’s cell is empty when they reach it.</p><p>Sokka wants to cry and shout and hurt someone maybe, because they did all that for nothing, and Jet is… – and they’re still stuck in this stupid city, and the only upside had been Zuko (how is he considered an upside? Why does he make Sokka want to run to the stupid apartment and hug him and tell him he’s sorry even though <em> he </em> shouldn’t be?).</p><p>“Appa's gone!” Aang says. “Long Feng beat us here.”</p><p>“If we keep moving, maybe we can catch up with them!” Sokka suggests, only to get that look off of Aang’s face. He doesn’t want Aang to lose hope, not yet.</p><p>They get back to the beach, only to find several Dai Li agents trailing behind them.</p><p>“You think we can outrun them?” Sokka asks, turning back to look at them.</p><p>“I don't think it's gonna matter!” Aang shouts, looking forward. Sokka snaps his head to look in the direction Aang is looking in.</p><p>Another group of Dai Li agents, and Long Feng (seriously, him again?), stand in front of them. All the agents box them in, lifting up the ground on both sides. Dai Li agents stand on all three walls. They’re completely trapped.</p><p>Momo flies over to Aang. “What is it, Momo?” Aang asks.</p><p>Momo flies to the sky and chirps excitedly. Sokka sees a huge flying animal thing (what?)min the air before he realizes it’s Appa.</p><p>“Appa!” Aang shouts happily.</p><p>Appa smashes through the rock walls, scattering the Dai Li agents. Aang and Toph grin at each other and then earthbend to knock other nearby agents off a cliff and into the lake. Appa growls at Long Feng.</p><p>“I can handle you by myself,” Long Feng says cockily and Sokka snorts, he highly doubts that.</p><p>Long Feng charges at Appa, Appa grabs his leg and hurtles him skipping into the lake. Appa spits out Long Feng's shoe. It;s disgusting. And awesome.</p><p>“Yeah! Appa!” Sokka cheers, running over to hug Appa.</p><p>Aang rushes over and jumps up to hug Appa. “I missed you, buddy,” he says quietly, tears streaming down his face. Appa closes his eyes and responds with a quiet growl himself. </p><p>Katara looks over at the lake, and Sokka notices the tears in her eyes. She must be thinking about Jet, Sokka is too. He’d never expected Jet to die. Jet was troubled, and sort of a jerk, and he wanted to wipe out a Fire Nation town that did nothing to him; but he tried, and he helped them find Appa. It isn’t fair that he had to die.</p><p>Aang puts a hand on Katara’s shoulder and she smiles at him. She pulls them all in for a group hug, Momo landing on Sokka’s head and Appa nudging his head against Aang. </p><p>This is family, family for sure, and Sokka never wants to let them go.</p><p>— ☼☽ —</p><p>Appa flies them over to a small island just outside the waters of Lake Laogai. Aang is still hugging Appa, but Sokka is thinking. They have Appa, but what are they going to do now? They can’t just leave, right (leaving would mean leaving Zuko, and Sokka doesn’t think he’s ready for that. He and Zuko still don’t even know what they’re doing, Sokka wants time to figure that out). </p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, he catches something dark blue and white floating in the water. Sokka walks over to it and picks it up. The Blue Spirit mask lay in his hands, dripping with water. Sokka stares at it, the smile staring back at him. Is the Blue Spirit actually in Ba Sing Se? Why is his mask in the water? Sokka runs his fingers across the white of the mask and takes a deep breath. He stares at it for a while before throwing it back in the lake. If the Blue Spirit wanted it, he wouldn’t have thrown it away. Still, Sokka can’t help but stare after it as it floats away in the water. He feels attached to it, somehow. Like he knows something about it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i will be posting chapter 10 right after this not tomorrow so if it doesn't show up like refresh the page or whatever</p><p>hi this was an absolutely horrible chapter but i love the next one and this one was necessary to write i hope it was okay</p><p>next chapter features: a sick child, a worried sokka, the earth king (ew him), and the sad sharing of backstories</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 10</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the earth king</p><p>i fucking hate the earth king</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka convinces them to stay, they have to get their plan to the Earth King (and Sokka has to see Zuko at least one last time). So Sokka is being optimistic, he’s trying to be positive only to convince them. He does regret his decision, though, when a giant rock almost hits them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka lets out a yelp as he sees more being launched. They dodge a few more rocks. One gets launched right at Aang, but he destroys it with his hand, all badass and not taking anyone’s shit; Sokka appreciates how he’s not letting anything come in between this. Another rock is launched at them head on, but Aang slices it cleanly in two by swinging his staff at the rock. Spirits, he really isn’t taking any of this. Aang launches himself from Appa to the front of the palace and slams his staff into the ground, generating a massive earthen wave to knock back the palace guards. Appa lands and roars at the captain's ostrich-horse, the ostrich-horse drops the captain and runs off. Appa continues to fly towards the Earth King, but more guards appear and launch earth cubes (cubes, literal cubes. Why?) at them. Toph and Aang earthbend them away and Katara waterbends at the guards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka isn’t going to lie, he sort of feels useless. Sure, he can throw his boomerang once or twice but that’s it. The rest of them can bend and shoot at the attackers, Sokka just has to dodge some rocks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” Katara yells as he water whips two guards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara turns around and strikes down more guards, she closes her right eye in a sympathetic flinch for a moment, though; Sokka has to admit, he does feel a little bad. More guards rush towards them but Toph flips the tiles of the walkway, trapping them between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tui and La, Team Avatar is kind of badass?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” Katara yells again. “We just need to get through to see the Earth King.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More guards appear on the opposite end of a bridge and launch two giant statues (statues. Literal statues) at them. Toph and Aang create an earth igloo around them to block the statues. Katara creates an ice ramp to jump to the other side of the bridge and water-whips the guards into the water (Sokka remembers saying “and this is Katara, my flying sister” once to Aang and thinks that maybe he was right as she soars through the air). Aang freezes the guards in the water as the rest all jump across. More surface-to-air rocks appear as guards come down a giant staircase. Toph uses earthbending to change the stairs into a ramp, causing them all to fall (which looks hilarious by the way, even if Sokka is a little guilty). Toph and Aang earthbend them up the ramp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously,” Sokka says exasperatedly, “we’re actually on your guys’ side!” He pauses, watching all the guards fall. “Sorry,” he adds a little weakly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They quickly enter the palace and are met with three doors and more guards. Can’t these guys leave them alone? Toph easily gets rid of the guards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toph,” Sokka turns to her, “which way to the Earth King?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph glares at him with her cloudy eyes. “How should I know? I’m still voting we </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ba Sing Se.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka rolls his eyes and starts checking more doors as Toph defeats more guards. The third room he enters has a woman dressed all fancy-like, she screams: “Burglar!” and falls to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka winces. “Sorry. Wrong door.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka climbs up on top of some rubble and spots a giant, fancy door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that's an impressive door,” he says. “It's gotta go somewhere.” He drops down from the rubble and attempts to kick the door open, effectively hurting his toes. The door doesn't move even slightly. Rude. Sokka starts trying to push it open, but it still doesn’t budge. Toph and Aang jump in from behind and bust the door down, knocking Sokka forward in the process. He rubs the back of his head, glaring at them. “A little warning next time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Earth King, it turns out, is kind of a jerk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tells them to drop their weapons but then gets the Dai Li to subdue them with their weird rock-gloves? How is that fair? Sure, they got past his guards and broke down his door, but they did it all for good reason! And he doesn’t even know about the war? How can you not know about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>one hundred year</span>
  </em>
  <span> war?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course the Earth King will believe Long Feng about everything (Sokka suspects there’s more to that relationship then is let on) and of course when they go to show Earth King Kuei the secret tunnel (</span>
  <em>
    <span>SECRET TUNNEL, SECRET TUNNEL</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his mind yells at him. Sokka tells his stupid brain to shut up) it’s been destroyed. Sokka tries to maintain a positive attitude, but really? The Dai Li had to freaking destroy it before they got there? </span>
  <em>
    <span>How</span>
  </em>
  <span>? All he wants to do is finish this or whatever, and go and just </span>
  <em>
    <span>see </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zuko. Just see him at least. Is that too much to ask? Is it too much for him to be able to see a beautiful guy who he hasn’t seen for a whole week, and who makes him feel every emotion all at once?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Sokka wants to apologoze. He doesn’t know why, but he does.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara, for some reason, lights up and smiles. “The wall!” she exclaims, smile widening. The wall? Oh – the wall! “They’ll never be able to cover that up in time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang brightens. “Oh, yeah.” He hops in front of the Earth King. “If you come with us to the Outer Wall, we can prove to you that the secret war is real.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Earth King has ever been to the Outer Wall,” Kuei says and walks past Aang. “I don't have any more time for this nonsense.” Aang turns away, looking a little depressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is the biggest bullshit Sokka has ever heard. No Earth King has ever been outside the Outer Wall? That’s so stupid, how are you supposed to rule a kingdom if you don’t even know anything about the world? An idea finds its way into Sokka’s mind. He bounds up to the Earth King. “If you come with us, this time you can ride on Appa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☼☽ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can explain this, Your Majesty, Long Feng says, appearing on the wall with some Dai Li agents. “This is nothing more than...a construction project.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Katara asks sarcastically (Sokka has never been more proud of his sister than he is right now because of the sarcasm in her voice). “Then </span>
  <em>
    <span>perhaps</span>
  </em>
  <span> you could explain why there's a Fire Nation insignia on your ‘construction project’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a Fire Nation </span>
  <em>
    <span>insignia</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not a symbol. Sokka recalls Zuko’s hands helping him fix the insignia. That should have been Sokka’s first sign that Zuko isn’t the same as he was back when he was chasing them (or maybe he’s always been like this and he just needed a little help to get back there). Which reminds Sokka about how he hasn’t seen Zuko in a week. A week. He wonders what Zuko thinks about him not coming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it's imported of course. You know you can't trust domestic machinery.” Long Feng’s face betrays some worry. “Surely you don't believe these children instead of your most loyal attendant?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuei looks from them to Long Feng. “Dai Li! Arrest Long Feng! I want him to stand trial for crimes against the Earth Kingdom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s mouth drops open, as does Long Feng’s. The two agents behind Long Feng share glances, launch shackles onto his arms, and pull him in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can't arrest me!” Long Feng protests. “You all need me more than you know!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin forms on Sokka’s face as Long Feng is taken away. “Looks like Long Feng is long gone! Ha! Ah, yeah, I've been waiting to use that one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Earth King mentions that he’s going to search along Feng’s office and find out what he’s been doing, leaving them free to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We finally got the gang back together, guys!” Aang says happily. “I think this causes for some celebration.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka bites his lip. On one hand, he’s glad they found Appa and he’s glad that they’re all back together again. On the other hand, he hasn’t seen Zuko in a while and he doesn’t want Zuko to think he’s dropping him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm,” Sokka says, “you guys go. I’m gonna go –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Visit Li,” the three of them say at exactly the same time. Sokka laughs a little, turning to leave, when Katara grabs his arm and stops him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, and I know you said that it technically wasn’t any of our business,” she says, “but I’m here for you, S. I don’t know what happened but you two need to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka spares all three of them a smile and watches them hop on Appa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go get him, Sokka!” Toph yells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if he does anything slightly wrong, I won’t hesitate to have some words with him!” shouts Katara to his retreating back. Sokka fights a laugh at his stupid friends – his stupid family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☼☽ —</span>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <span>date</span>
    </em>
  </strike>
  <em>
    <span> meeting number twenty-four</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka knocks on the door again and waits again but there’s no answer. He’s worried out of his mind; legs shaking, heart racing, palms sweating, stomach churning. Will Zuko even forgive him? Will Zuko even agree to see him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scrunches up his eyebrows; are they not home? Sokka hesitates for a moment before fishing in his pocket for the key Zuko gave him, he’s never used it (although Zuko and Iroh have both said he could) and it feels weird to barge in as if it’s his place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” Sokka says unto the quietness when he steps in. He spots one of the lights on and walks towards it. What he finds is...interesting?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko is lying on the floor with a small blanket around his bottom half, his forehead is sweaty and so is his hair. He is also shirtless. Which isn’t the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>pressing</span>
  </em>
  <span> matter but it still fogs up Sokka’s mind for a moment. Iroh is sitting next to him and gently tapping some of his sweat away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up to see Sokka. “Oh. Sokka,” he smiles, “hello! What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, um, I came to see...Zuko?” Sokka takes a glance at Zuko’s sleeping form. “What – what happened. Is he – is he okay?” Sokka tries hard to keep the worry out of his voice but most likely fails because Iroh has that weird look on his face again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is fine,” Iroh reassures. “Zuko has just made a tough decision and he is having a hard time. My nephew is going through a metamorphosis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka pretends he understood that and tentatively steps closer. “Can I – can I stay – with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Iroh hands him the cloth. “I understand something happened between you two when you went to that play, but trust me when I say that my nephew is just confused, and he cares deeply for you. Sometimes he needs a little help, or guidance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka fights his blush, looking down. “I, uh, I guess I care for him too? I – after the play – I don’t know if he told you, but – well –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, believe me when I say that I think you and Zuko can push through anything, you two just need to be patient.” Sokka feels his cheeks heating up more, confused thoughts clouding his mind. Iroh places a hand on his shoulder, his face suddenly serious. “You are a good person, Sokka, and I trust you, but Zuko is going through a lot and if you give me any reason to suggest you will hurt him, I will be very upset.” Iroh smiles slightly, choosing to ignore Sokka’s horrified and worried look. “I should go run some errands; if you could take care of Zuko…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka nods without any hesitance. “Yeah. Yeah, no, I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sits down next to Zuko and gently wipes some sweat off his forehead. His hands shake more than he would like to admit. Idly, he wonders what Zuko will say when he sees him. Zuko gives him...funny feelings. The week without him made Sokka insane, he didn’t feel like himself. He’d played their argument over and over in his head every day, trying to figure out how it went wrong; but the only conclusion he could come to, was that it went wrong the second their handshake lingered too long on that first day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks pretty like this, soft and more like a child. He curls in on himself, hair falling over his face. Sokka can’t stop himself from brushing the hair away from Zuko’s face, and carding his fingers through it. He looks at the scar that is staring at him, dark and deformed, not for the first time, he wonders how Zuko got it. His fingers still in Zuko’s hair, and he debates on just touching the rough skin there, but he decides against it, going back to running his fingers through Zuko’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he knows it, he’s talking to Zuko (the way he talks to Yue, but he can’t admit that to himself yet). “Hey, Zuko,” Sokka says softly. “I – well, I – I don't exactly know what I'm doing here. I just had to see you, I guess. Or – 'had' isn't exactly right, I guess I just wanted to see you. Maybe. I'm still not sure. I don't – well, I guess I'm kind of –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka?” Zuko mutters, voice groggy and raspier than usual (Sokka doesn’t think that’s hot. Or. He tries not to). Zuko sits up, and Sokka snatches his hand away from Zuko's hair. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka flushes. "Uh – I – Iroh left so I...volunteered to watch over you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Watch over me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka nods, feeling very small and slightly uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>"But..." Zuko looks down. "Why did you come here in the...first place?"</p><p>"To...to...to see you?"</p><p>"To see me?"</p><p>Sokka nods, face feeling very hot. "Yes. Sort of. Zuko, I'm <span>–"</span></p><p>
  <span>"Please don't apologize," Zuko says irritatedly, not meeting Sokka's eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka blinks, his brows furrowed. He hadn't been sure exactly what he was going to say, but "sorry" was definitely up there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want an apology," grumbles Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Zuko –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't," Zuko repeats firmly. He doesn't look angry, but he still won't meet Sokka's eyes. Sokka examines him; he looks really sick, his skin pale and sweaty, lips chapped. "I just – what are you really doing here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just told you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." Zuko shakes his head. "Do you – after the play –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Zuko," Sokka says, starting to sound desperate because he needs Zuko to hear this. "I'm – I really am sorry for what I said at the door. Spirits, I didn't exactly mean any of it. You're...you're not a killing machine, and I know that's not what all firebenders are. I just – this is –" Sokka groans in frustration. "I don't know, okay? I'm – I know you don't want an apology but I'm giving you one, even though I didn't even think I would – think I had to – while I was coming here. I didn't plan for – I –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry too," Zuko interrupts, and that snaps Sokka out of everything. "I didn't –"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka feels something twist in his chest, and, suddenly, he really can't hear this. He honestly cannot hear Zuko apologize. It is too much, way too much. "Please don't," he cuts across Zuko. "I know, okay? I know that you're sorry, I guess."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How – how are you?” Sokka asks hesitantly. “Iroh said that you’ve been going through something. Don’t tell me you missed me so much you passed out?” He adds, trying to bring back their lighthearted "friendship".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Zuko blurts out, pulling his knees up and ignoring Sokka’s last comment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka tilts his head at him. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t know what I’m doing, Sokka. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to know everything that’s going on,” Sokka says. “Some things can remain a mystery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko meets his eyes. “No, I – I’m confused. About a lot of things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like...?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like – like home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s eyes widen a little but he tries not to show it so he doesn’t make Zuko uncomfortable. “Like home,” he repeats gently. “What – what about home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t know, Sokka, I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stares at him softly. All this time. This whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>month</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sokka has wanted answers, he’s wanted Zuko to answer every question. But right now, seeing Zuko open, and soft, and tentative, he doesn’t want an answer. Because an answer won’t help Zuko, and it won’t help Sokka.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brushes hair from Zuko’s face, letting his hand linger for longer than necessary (longer than <em>allowed</em>). “That’s okay,” he reassures softly, “you don’t have to know. Just. Get some sleep, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks at him for a long time before nodding, grabbing his blanket, and curling himself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka watches him while he sleeps, occasionally wiping sweat off of him. He looks strangely angelic and peaceful this way. Sokka shouldn’t be looking, though. This – this thing they have going on is too much and now that they’ve given their information to the Earth King, he doesn’t know how this will end up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until he hears the quiet, strangled whispers Zuko is making. Sokka can’t make out exactly what he saying, but he hears little snippets.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Father, no.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, I’m sorry.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please, Father.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shakes Zuko awake as he tosses and turns fitfully in his sleep. Zuko jerks awake, tears and sweat mingled on his face, hair plastered to his forehead. “Hey,” Sokka says softly, “you’re okay. You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko sits up and hugs his knees, rocking back and forth, not meeting Sokka’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you – do you wanna talk about it?” Sokka asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko stays silent for a long time before saying, “It was him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H – him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was my father.” Zuko looks up. “My father gave me my scar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka can’t help the little gasp that comes out of him and he can’t help but search for Zuko’s hand and squeeze tight on it. His – his father? How could he –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your – your father? But – but w – why? Why would he –“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spoke out,” Zuko says. “I spoke out against him. I</span>
  <span>t was a war meeting.” Zuko closes his eyes and Sokka squeezes his hand again, rubbing circles with his thumb. Zuko responds with a stroke of his thumb. “I begged Uncle to let me in and I promised not to speak; but then this – this general wanted to sacrifice an entire division of new recruits and I couldn’t – I couldn’t let that – that happen so I – I spoke out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My fa – the Fire Lord said I had to fight an Agni Kai because I spoke out. I thought – I thought I was going to be fighting the general but when I got there, it wasn’t the general – it was – it was my father. I refused to fight him and he – he –” Zuko cuts off and doesn’t finish but Sokka can picture the rest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d heard of Agni Kais, fire duels at sunset, but to hear that Zuko’s own father dueled his own son and gave him a scar. That’s not –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How old were you?” Sokka asks, preparing himself for the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thirteen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka holds on tight to Zuko’s hand and doesn’t let go. Zuko holds on just as tight, his body shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka feels this overwhelming, burning hatred for Zuko’s father. It’s all-consuming, the hatred, and Sokka wants to march up to the Fire Lord’s palace and strike a sword through the Fire Lord’s heart. No bending, just a simple strike-through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko’s head falls to Sokka’s shoulder and Sokka lets it stay there. He feels Zuko’s breathing even out and feels the shaking stop; Zuko’s fallen asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka doesn’t know how long it’s been, but he does know that he probably needs to get back soon. He lays Zuko back on the small mattress and wipes sweat off of him. He searches for a brush and ink and some parchment, and scribbles a note.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko,</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I had to leave, I’m really sorry, but I’ll hopefully see you tomorrow. I hope you sleep well, jerkbender.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sokka</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Love</span>
  </em>
  <span> part and decides to keep it there before heading out. He stops before he fully stands up and kisses Zuko on his hair, before he can stop himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☼☽ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are secret files on everyone in Ba Sing Se. Including you kids,” General How says in Long Feng’s office after they’ve informed the Earth King of their plans. Sokka raises an eyebrow and exchanges a look with his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secret files?” Aang asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>King Kuei takes out a scroll. “‘Toph Beifong’,” he reads aloud and hands the scroll to General How who hands it to Toph who hands it to Katara because she can’t read. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara opens the scroll. “It’s a letter from your mom. She’s here in the city. And she wants to see you.” Toph’s eyes widen a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long Feng intercepted our letters from home?” Toph shakes her head. “That’s just sad.” Sokka snorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The king hands Aang a scroll.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s from the Eastern Air Temple,” Aang says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara exchanges a glance with Sokka. “Is there...a letter for me and Sokka by any chance?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuei looks in the box and shakes his head. “I’m afraid not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Sokka says, disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But,” General How interjects, “there is an intelligence report that might interest you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘A small fleet of Water Tribe ships’,” Katara reads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hope finds its way into Sokka’s heart. “What? That could be Dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Protecting the mouth of Chameleon Bay. Led by Hakoda.’,” Katara reads and Sokka’s chest expands, he shares an excited look with his sister. “It is Dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't believe it,” Aang says, reading his letter. “There's a man living at the Eastern Air Temple. He says he's a guru.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's a guru?” Sokka asks, eyebrows raised. “Some kind of poisonous blowfish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, a spiritual expert,” Aang says patiently. “He wants to help me take the next step in the Avatar journey. He says he can teach me to control the Avatar State.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I can't believe we know where our dad is now,” Katara adds, excitement clear on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph nods. “I know what you mean. My mom's in the city. And from her letter it sounds like she finally understands me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is all such big news! Where do we even start?” Sokka questions, his face still lit up from the happiness of finding out where Dad is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hate to say it,” Katara starts, “but we have to split up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Split up?” Aang repeats, eyebrows furrowed. “We just found Appa and got the family back together! Now you want us to separate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to meet this guru, Aang,” Katara says gently. “If we're going to invade the Fire Nation, you need to be ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if I'm going to the Eastern Air Temple, Appa and I can drop you off at Chameleon Bay to see your dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka raises his arms up. “Hold on. Someone has to stay here with the Earth King and help him plan for the invasion.” He stands up. “I guess that's me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shakes her head. “No, Sokka. I know how badly you wanna help Dad. You go to Chameleon Bay. I'll stay here with the king.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka feels tears prickle his eyes and he jumps up, doing a little dance. “You are the nicest...sister...ever!” He throws his arms around Katara and kisses her on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logically, he knows that he should stay. Sokka is the plan guy, he’s good at plans and planning the invasion is probably best for him to do but Katara offered and...he hasn’t seen Dad in so long. If Katara even said it, Sokka would switch in a heartbeat so she’d be happy but she wants him to go and who is he to say no?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara pushes him away a little. “Easy there, big brother. Though you're right. I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka starts to jump onto Appa when a soldier informs them that the Kyoshi Warriors are here. Sokka nearly falls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Suki!” he exclaims happily. Spirits, he’s missed her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know these warriors?” the Earth King asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah. The Kyoshi Warriors are a skilled group of fighters. Trustworthy too. They’re good friends of ours.” Sokka hopes Suki appreciates the good word he’s putting in for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really gonna miss you guys,” Toph says and Sokka appreciates her small vulnerable moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara pulls Toph into a hug with Aang and Sokka watches with his arms crossed and his nose up in the air. They could hug him too. Not that he wants to be hugged by them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them go to hug him as if they could read his mind and Sokka can’t fight the smile spreading across his face. “Great. That’s enough. Okay, we love each other.” He pats Aang and Katara on the head. “Seriously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Appa flies off with Sokka and Aang and when they reach the Lower Ring Sokka asks Aang to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna see him, don’t you?” Aang asks wisely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka hesitates and then nods. “Just to...say goodbye. Wait here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Appa stops right in front of Zuko’s apartment and Sokka uses his key so that Aang won’t see who’s in the apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <span>date</span>
    </em>
  </strike>
  <em>
    <span> meeting number twenty-five</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zuko? Iroh?” he calls out and finds them in the same spot as they were before except Iroh is now asleep next to Zuko and Zuko is awake. Sokka sees him holding a letter, his letter, in his pale hands. Slender fingers tracing over the ink of Sokka’s writing, going over the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Love, Sokka”</span>
  </em>
  <span> multiple times. Sokka’s chest constricts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks up. “Sokka? You’re back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shakes his head, pretending he didn’t notice that. “Yeah, I – I am,” Sokka says. “But I can’t stay for long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sits down. “I’m leaving,” he announces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re – what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m leaving,” Sokka says again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W – why?” Sokka’s heart aches at the worried expression in Zuko’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found my dad,” Sokka says. “I’m going to go see him, but I’ll be back. In a week. I don’t know if I’ll be able to see you right away when I come back but I came to say goodbye. I’m sorry that I’m leaving and –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Zuko says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know and – wait, it’s okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it’s okay, Sokka. You’re going to see your dad. It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I –” Sokka smiles. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stands up to leave and Zuko stands up as well. Sokka starts to turn around but stops and turns back to look at Zuko. He searches the golden eyes, every fleck of brown and amber in them, the way they darken a little in the lamplight. Before he can stop himself, he wraps his arms around Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko hesitates, then tentatively wraps his arms around Sokka and drops his head onto Sokka’s shoulder with a sigh. They stand there in the glow of the lamp for long minutes, Zuko’s soft hair pressed against Sokka’s cheek and tickling his skin. Sokka silently vows, without even thinking too much about it, that if he ever gets the chance to come face-to-face with the people who’ve made Zuko, who is so touch-starved, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fear</span>
  </em>
  <span> asking for it so much, he will not be held responsible for his actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka breathes in Zuko’s hair and lets out a sigh as he feels tears sting his eyes. This feels like the most intimate thing they’ve ever done. Sokka holds onto Zuko and tries to keep this ingrained in his brain so he’ll never forget it and he can recall it whenever he needs to. He holds on just a bit tighter before slowly letting go, trying to paint this picture in his head and put it up on a wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles a little and goes on his tip-toes to lightly press a kiss to Zuko’s cheek, he holds it for a moment and then drops down. “Bye, Zuko. I’ll see you in a week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Sokka,” Zuko says, face red, and he cups Sokka’s face, letting his fingers linger, and lets him go.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i listened to ‘the last agni kai’ while writing this and it was a big mistake because i am now cri</p><p>was their hug inspired by willie’s and alex’s from julie and the phantoms? yes it was</p><p>next chapter features: a reunion :) and a proud, happy sokka</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. we can blame it all on human nature</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 11</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the guru!!</p>
<p>no zukka scenes sorry and vv short :( because this chapter was originally going to be part of the next one but i split it because it's a different episode and it didn't really fit the vibe but i will be posting the next (longer) chapter right after this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>Appa lands on a hill overlooking Chameleon Bay and Sokka stares at the fleet of Water Tribe ships near him. The blue water sparkling, fading into a turquoise, and bringing attention to the Water Tribe ships. The tents arranged in a sort of rectangle on the sand next to the water taunt Sokka. Their dark blue stands out against the grainy sand, and Sokka hopes he doesn’t stand out like that with the other warriors.</p>
<p>“You haven't seen your dad in over two years,” Aang says happily. “You must be so excited!”</p>
<p>Sokka glances at the Water Tribe ships below, and immediately feels nauseous. Sokka hadn’t thought he’d be so nervous about seeing Dad again. His stomach churns. “I know I should be, but I just feel sick to my stomach,” he tells Aang, clutching said stomach.</p>
<p>Aang puts a hand on his shoulder, reassuringly. “Don't be nervous. He's going to be so happy to see you!”</p>
<p>Sokka nods even though he isn’t actually sure. He turned to watch Aang get ready to leave. “So what about you? Are you nervous to meet this guru?”</p>
<p>Aang stretches excitedly. “Not at all. I’m ready to master the Avatar State. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Sokka climbs down Appa and watches Aang fly away. “See you in a week! Yip yip!”</p>
<p>Sokka climbs down the hill and arrives at the camp. He feels just a tad uncomfortable as they all stare at him – maybe they don’t know who he is, maybe they don’t want him here maybe – nope. The warriors all greet him warmly, grasping his forearm in a Water Tribe greeting. </p>
<p>“Sokka, good to see you,” one warrior says.</p>
<p>Sokka stands a little awkwardly until another warrior points up ahead to the main tent. He takes a deep breath, thinking of Zuko, and sticks his head inside the tent. Bato is looking over a battle map, scars winding up and down his previously injured arm. Sokka stares at the previously bandaged arm, the scars look horrible. Raw flesh, all pink and red, maroon and burning. Like flames. His scar instantly reminds Sokka of Zuko. And how Zuko was burned by his <em> father </em> . Is that how it happened to Bato? A firebender ruthlessly scarred him. Of course that’s what happened. Firebenders don’t care ( <em> most </em> firebenders don’t care, his mind says, flashing images of Zuko and Iroh to him). Sokka shakes those thoughts away and turns his eyes away from Bato and his scar. His eyes travel next to Bato and he sees –</p>
<p>Dad.</p>
<p>Bato nudges Dad and Dad looks up. Sokka meets his hard gaze, scared but unflinching, and then Dad smiles, tears welling up in his eyes. “Sokka.”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles. “Hi, Dad.”</p>
<p>Dad stands up and walks towards him, pulling him into a tight hug. Sokka breathes in his familiar sea salt smell and tucks his head on Hakoda’s chest. He holds on tight like he never wants to let go. </p>
<p>— ☼☽ —</p>
<p>Sokka spends the next few days helping his dad and hanging with the other Water Tribe warriors. He’d been so worried that they would see him as some small kid who can’t do anything, but Dad helps him fit in. Sokka feels just like one of the warriors Dad had taken with him to battle all those years ago. He understands now, why he couldn’t go. It doesn’t stop it from hurting, but it brings him comfort.</p>
<p>Sokka helps Dad and his men set up a series of tangle mines along the bay to stop Fire Nation ships from getting to Ba Sing Se.</p>
<p>Stopping Fire Nation ships from getting to Ba Sing Se. Where there’s a firebender. Two firebenders. Two firebenders Sokka wants to be safe. </p>
<p>He’s been debating on telling Dad about Zuko. Telling him that he really thinks that Zuko has changed. But, so far, he has decided against it. Zuko is still so unsure about everything (as is Sokka) and Sokka just can’t tell his Dad yet. </p>
<p>“This bay,” Dad says, pointing to the map on the ground, “leads directly to the outskirts of Ba Sing Se. We’ve been using these tangle mines to stop the Fire Nation ships from getting through.”</p>
<p>Bato fills a mine with skunk fish and seaweed. “Your father invented tangle mines himself.”</p>
<p>“Destructive? Buoyant? And...” Sokka sniffs it and turns away, extremely disgusted and coughing. “Terrible smelling.”</p>
<p>“Very perceptive,” Dad praises and Sokka feels pride swell in his chest. “The mines are filled with skunk fish and seaweed,” he explains. “When a ship detonates the mine, the seaweed tangles up the propeller and the foul smell forces people to abandon the ship. I call it the ‘stink ‘n’ sink’.”</p>
<p>Sokka laughs, a grin spreading on his face. “Good one, </p>
<p>Bato rolls his eyes, unamused, looking like Katara. “You're definitely your father's son.”</p>
<p>Sokka can’t help the happiness that bubbles up inside him at those simple words. His dad has always been someone he looks up to and to be compared to him (in the good way, of course, not like when Katara compares him to a badger-frog) makes him feel proud. </p>
<p>A warrior approaches them. “Hakoda, our scouts have spotted four Fire Nation ships!”</p>
<p>“Bato, get these mines loaded up! The rest of you men, prepare for battle!”</p>
<p>Sokka stands there, unsure, as the rest of the warriors hurry off. Should he go with the other men? Sokka hesitates, he isn’t sure what he is in Dad’s eyes, if he’s a warrior to Dad. All he’s ever wanted is to make his Dad proud, Sokka doesn’t want to do the wrong thing. “Uh, what should I do, Dad?”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you listening?” he says sternly. “I just said ‘the rest of you men, prepare for battle!’”</p>
<p>Sokka grins and joins the others, strapping his machete, and grabbing a war club.</p>
<p>“Ready to go knock some Fire Nation heads?” Dad asks.</p>
<p>Sokka looks up. “You don’t know how much this means to me, Dad. I’ll make you proud. And I’ll finally prove to you what a great warrior I am.”</p>
<p>Dad grasps his shoulder and squeezes gently. He looks right into Sokka’s eyes and smiles. “Sokka, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I’m already proud of you, and I’ve always known you’re a great warrior.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Why do you think I trusted you to look after our tribe when I left?”</p>
<p>Sokka smiles. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt any better than this. Moments like these make him miss home (make him miss Mom...). </p>
<p>Just as Sokka and Hakoda are about to board the ship, Aang flies down on Appa with a worried look on his face.</p>
<p>Sokka furrows his brows. “This can’t be good news.”</p>
<p>“Katara’s in trouble,” Aang says. “She needs our help.”</p>
<p>Sokka’s heart sinks and his expression changes to match Aang’s. He turns to look at his dad; Hakoda gives him a nod and a one-armed hug. Sokka hugs back before hopping on Appa and flying away, the Water Tribe ships turning to nothing but specks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay okay super short chapter and i’m really really sorry, these last chapters have been hard for me to write and i’m trying but it’s kinda hard. the guru is actually a really good episode and i do like it but honestly the sokka parts are really short in this episode and there isn’t a lot to write about them and i’m not gon make sokka think of zuko constantly because he has a life and i didn’t wanna add more stuff about what sokka did during those few days because well that would kind of be boring and there wouldn’t be a lot to say on the subject sorrrrryyyyyy :( this was mostly a filler chapter anyways but you will hopefully very much like the next one</p>
<p>next chapter features: a rescue mission</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. stay cool, it's just a kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part i — chapter 12</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during crossroads of destiny</p><p>final chapter of part i!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what kind of trouble is Katara in?” Sokka asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Aang says seriously. “In my vision, I just knew she needed help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sighs. “It would be nice if your Avatar powers could be just a little more specific from time to time.” Something catches Sokka’s eyes below them. He squints and makes out a mound of earth heading towards the wall. “What is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang shrugs and flies down and they spot Toph...earth-surfing? That’s a thing? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Need a ride?” Sokka asks casually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph jumps at the sound of Sokka’s voice and falls backwards off of her earth...surfboard thing. Sokka winces and shares a glance with Aang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph glares at them. “A little warning would’ve been nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smirks. “Pot, kettle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, ha,” Toph says sarcastically and climbs onto Appa, holding onto Sokka’s arm for support. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Appa starts flying again and Sokka feels cool air blow on his face. It helps calm him. If Katara really is in trouble, they need to find her and help her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how did it go with the guru?” Toph asks Aang. “Did you master the Avatar State?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Aang looks down, and Sokka raises an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aang, are you okay?” he asks, a little worried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m great!” Aang says quickly. “It went great with the guru. I completely mastered the Avatar State.” He laughs nervously and looks down again. “Yeah...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tone doesn’t add up. Sokka scrunches his nose, there’s something Aang isn’t telling them. And he’s definitely lying about something. Sokka takes one glance at Aang’s face and lets the subject drop as they fly over to the Earth King’s palace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Earth King sits on his throne casually. “Katara's fine,” he insures. “You have nothing to worry about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relief floods Sokka’s heart but Aang is still unsure. “But, in my vision, I felt so sure she was in trouble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, she met with the Council of Generals to plan the invasion, and since then, she’s been off with your friends, the Kyoshi Warriors,” Kuei explains.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, Aang?” Sokka says. “She's with Suki. They're probably back at our apartment right now talking about make-up or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang sighs, shoulders sagging. “Okay. Maybe you're right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Believe me,” Kuei says, “if there was any danger at all, Bosco's animal instincts would sense it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka doubts that immensely. Earth King Kuei has pretty much spoiled his bear (</span>
  <em>
    <span>bear, just bear</span>
  </em>
  <span>) and Sokka doubts that Bosco has any animal instincts left at all. He wears </span>
  <em>
    <span>clothes</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them leave for their house (Aang still sure that Katara is in trouble) and find the house empty, save for Momo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no one else here,” Toph says, using her earthbending to feel if anyone is inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Katara </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> in trouble,” Aang says worriedly. “I knew it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels like Sokka’s heart has dropped right out of his chest, his chest constricts as he mutters a strained, “Oh no”. Katara is unreasonable and naive, and Sokka loves her with his whole heart. He would die for her at the drop of a hat. Everyday she’s argued with him at least once, and he would tear anyone who hurt her to shreds (would you? Would you, though, Sokka? Zuko has hurt her, yet you haven’t done anything to him). He tunes her out every day and when she shows him kindness he tries not to cry out of gratitude – but he ends up crying every time anyways. Whenever he’s pissed at her, he makes fun of her hair, because he knows exactly where to draw the line but still annoy her. She never listens to his rational advice, and he’s okay with that. Katara is his first priority at all times, even though she annoys him every day. Sokka values her life over his own to the point where it isn’t even a contest anymore. He loves her so much. And she’s in trouble. It’s all his freaking fault. If he’d just let her go to Dad then none of this would have happened. He’d just been so caught up in proving himself to Dad that he didn’t even think about what would’ve happened here. He knew that it would have made more sense for him to stay, planning the invasion is</span>
  <em>
    <span> his</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea, but Katara had offered and he –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No point in thinking of it now. It’s fine. They’ll find out what happened and fix it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Toph says. “Someone’s at the door.” Literally a second after she says it, someone knocks on the door. Toph pauses. “Actually, I know who it is. It’s an old friend of mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka raises his eyebrows. What friend?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad to see you’re okay.” Toph opens the door and it reveals – Iroh?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need your help,” Iroh says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open. What is Iroh doing here? Aang, meanwhile, turns angry and he gets into a fighting stance. Toph calmly smiles and waves at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>What</em>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys know each other?” Aang asks, lowering his staff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I met him in the woods once and knocked him down,” Toph explains. Iroh smiles and rubs the back of his head. “Then he gave me some tea and some very good advice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I come in?” Iroh asks, and Sokka, out of shock, just stands there and lets Toph let him in. “Princess Azula is here in Ba Sing Se,” he explains and Sokka just turns more shocked. And more confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She must have Katara,” Aang says, realization dawning on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has captured my nephew as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka tries hard not to let his jaw drop to the floor. Katara </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zuko have been captured? But. Last Sokka saw, Zuko was sick. How could he have gotten captured. Sokka looks at Iroh, his eyebrows furrowed in worry, and he can’t place the look on Iroh’s face. But he knows that the only reason Iroh came to them was not only because of Toph, but had something to do with him as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then we’ll work together to fight Azula, and save Katara and Zuko,” Aang tells Iroh. Sokka turns to look at Aang, his mind flashing back to when they saved Zuko at the North Pole. One half of him wants to drop everything and go save his sister and Zuko. The other half still doesn’t know where he stands with Zuko. Aang would understand, wouldn’t he? Sokka could tell him. Aang has always been the forgiving type and he saved Zuko before, and he wants to do it again. Sokka could tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka doesn’t tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stands there, instead, gaping like a gecko-fish at Aang and Iroh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Z – Zuko as well?” Sokka asks, stuttering his way through the name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iroh walks to Sokka and places his hands on Sokka’s shoulders. “I know how you must feel about my nephew; but believe me when I tell you that there is </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> inside him.” The way Iroh stares into his soul with dark gold eyes makes Sokka think that he knows things Sokka won’t even admit to himself yet, that Sokka still isn’t sure of. Iroh looks like he knows exactly what Sokka is thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka takes a steadying breath. “What about the good </span>
  <em>
    <span>outside</span>
  </em>
  <span> him? What if it being </span>
  <em>
    <span>inside </span>
  </em>
  <span>him isn't enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iroh frowns a little, eyes searching Sokka’s but Aang turns to Sokka. “Katara’s in trouble,” Aang says. “All of Ba Sing Se is in trouble. Working together is our best chance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka nods, even though that’s not exactly what he meant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought someone along who might help us.” Iroh starts to walk back to the door and a nervous Dai Li agent is sitting there. Toph easily puts a couple of earth pillars around him, making him stand up. Iroh removes a gag that was around him, revealing a scar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Azula and Long Feng are plotting a coup!” the Dai Li agent blurts out. “They’re going to overthrow the Earth King!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My sister,” Sokka grits out. “Where are they keeping Katara?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I – in the Crystal Catacombs of Old Ba Sing Se, deep beneath the palace.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka doesn’t waste any time leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☼☽ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They split up, Sokka with Toph, and Aang with Iroh going to save Zuko and Katara. As much as Sokka would like to go and save Zuko and Katara, he knows that Iroh has to go and he knows that Aang can bend so it’ll be easier to get them out. Sokka can’t exactly earthbend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they arrive, though, the coup is already happening. Warning the Earth King has to be their top priority.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank goodness we’re in time,” Sokka says out of relief when he sees Kuei and Bosco in the throne room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In time for what?” the Earth King asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” a bubbly voice says “What are you in time for,” a Kyoshi Warrior with a braid cartwheels towards him, “cutie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka inches away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, I’m kind of involved with…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>With whom, Sokka? With whom? Last time I checked, you and Zuko weren’t –</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph knocks her away from Sokka with earthbending, flipping the girl above them. “They’re not the real Kyoshi Warriors!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A girl who Sokka recognizes as Mai from Omashu, smirks. “Sorry to disappoint you,” she says sarcastically. She shoots daggers at Toph, who kicks an earth shield at Mai. Mai attempts to jump over it but Toph knocks her down as she lands, a confident smirk on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other girl, Ty Lee, comes up in front of Sokka, laughing. She attempts to jab him and make all his bones weak or whatever, but he evades her attacks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooh,” she giggles, “it’s like we’re dancing together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of the corner of Sokka’s eyes, he can see Azula holding Kuei at flame-point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This fight is over,” Azula says gravely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks to Toph and they both surrender right away, they can’t let the Earth King die. Ty Lee chi blocks both of them, a Dai Li agent even grabbing Momo. Rude.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Azula kicks the Earth King down the steps leading to his throne. “Get them all out of my sight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dai Li agents lead them down to the dungeons, where the prison cells are.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re all thrown in the same cell. Toph waits a little bit before asking, “See any Dai Li agents nearby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shakes his head. “Nope, all clear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph cracks her knuckles and places her hands against the cell door; she twists her wrists and the cell door crumples. Toph throws it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka grins at her. “Let’s go.” He grabs the Earth King’s hand and follows Toph.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving without Bosco!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka rolls his eyes and leads the Earth King to the throne room. Ty Lee is trying to teach Bosco how to walk on his hands when Toph uses earthbending to trap her on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mai sighs, uninterested. “Just take the bear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuei runs to Bosco and hugs him. Sokka shakes his head, </span>
  <em>
    <span>people and their pets</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They get Kuei to Appa quickly and Toph takes Sokka through a shortcut to the Crystal Catacombs. He wants to get to his sister and Aang (and <em>Zuko</em>) as fast as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka and Toph find themselves down in a green-lit tunnel where Katara, Aang, and Azula are fighting (</span>
  <em>
    <span>where</span>
  </em>
  <span> is Zuko?). Azula notices them and immediately starts firing, Katara spares them a smile and uses water to shield herself. Azula points at both Aang and Katara, her eyes switching from the four of them, preparing to defend herself. Sokka raises his boomerang, and each of them get into proper stances.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An orange fire blast lands in the middle of the standoff, and they all look to see the source of the fire blast to be Zuko. Zuko looks from the five of them, like he’s choosing who to attack. Sokka looks at Azula who is glaring at Zuko and then he looks at Zuko. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko, who’s a theatre nerd and critic; Zuko, who’s the most awkward person Sokka knows; Zuko, who reassures Sokka that he’s just as important as any bender; Zuko, who holds respect for Sokka; Zuko, who tells Sokka that he’s smart; Zuko, who’s been hurt so much but still manages to laugh a beautifully loud and angelic laugh when Sokka makes a joke; Zuko, who told Sokka that his hair looks nice; Zuko, who can wield dual broadswords; Zuko, whose eyes are the brightest and warmest gold in the world; Zuko, who told Sokka things he’s never told anyone; Zuko, who Sokka kissed at a play; Zuko, who knows Sokka’s insecurities and helps reassure him. Zuko. Just goddamn, Fire fucking Prince Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stares at Zuko and decides to throw caution to the winds. “Zuko, please!” Sokka yells. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All eyes in the cave immediately turn to look at him but Sokka pays no attention to them. He only has eyes for Zuko. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I – spirits, I’m sorry, Zuko,” he says hoarsely. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through all of this. I’m sorry that you’ve been through so much. I’m sorry they’ve hurt you, I’m sorry </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>hurt you. I’m sorry that you’ve never had anyone to tell anything to. I’m sorry you’ve never been loved the way you </span>
  <em>
    <span>should’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m sorry that we’ve had to grow up in a war that we’ve been thrown into. I’m sorry that we’ll never get to be kids. I’m sorry that we’ve had to see all of the horrible things that we’ve seen. I’m sorry that all we know is war. I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He takes a small step forward, surprised by his own actions and his own words. He doesn’t get like this. Doesn’t give long and emotional speeches (that’s Katara’s job). He doesn’t show his emotions. Doesn’t let things like this happen to him. Not after his mom, not after Yue. He’s the plan guy, he takes care of them (even if Katara thinks that’s her job, it’s really his) and doesn’t let his feelings get in the way. He buries them deep, especially after the North Pole. He tries to pretend that nothing is wrong. But after Zuko...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After spending all that time with Zuko and Iroh, he knows he shouldn’t. He knows that Iroh would tell him it’s best to talk things out and let out your emotions. Zuko bottles his anger up and doesn’t let people see his feelings, “weaknesses” he calls them, but he loosened up around Sokka and finally started to talk about how he feels. So Sokka should do the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, Zuko,” he pleads desperately, “please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko hesitates for a moment, his eyes on Sokka’s. But then his gaze strays to Sokka’s left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Aang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Sokka knows. Knows that Zuko has made his choice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang’s eyes widen and he lets out a small gasp as he realizes Zuko’s going to attack him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hurt and anger and betrayal burn in Sokka and he looks away from Zuko even though he can feel the gold eyes on him. Sokka schools his expression into one of seriousness, not showing his feelings and not wanting to answer the questions he knows his friends have for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Memories flash all throughout Sokka’s mind. Zuko laughing at him, Zuko ranting about the play they watched, Zuko kissing him. Every memory of them hanging out in Ba Sing Se. Everything burns inside him, shriveling him up, and Sokka wants to cry but he doesn’t. He can’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko firebends at Aang and then shoots multiple blasts at him. Azula smiles, and all Sokka wants to do is wipe that smug smile off her face. Dai Li agents pour in as they all fight each other, severely outnumbering Sokka and his friends. Aang airbends the air currents around him to make a human-shaped gust of air at Zuko, knocking him down. Aang attacks Zuko with more airbending, but Zuko maneuvers around the attacks and gets back up on his feet. Sokka tries his hardest not to watch Zuko, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>(it’s not that he doesn’t want Zuko to get hurt, no that can’t be it. That would mean he </span>
  <em>
    <span>cares </span>
  </em>
  <span>about Zuko and he doesn’t. If he does, his “caring” isn’t reciprocated. If Zuko cared about him, he wouldn’t have turned around and fucking fought his friends. Doesn’t he realize that Azula doesn’t care and that there is nothing for him in the Fire Nation? Doesn’t he realize that after everything the Fire Nation has done, he’s better off without them. Doesn’t he realize Sokka </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs</span>
  </em>
  <span> him?).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko fires more blasts at Aang who is clinging on to a rock pillar. Aang jumps onto a clump of crystals to avoid the attack. Zuko summons a greater blast of fire, his expression furious. Sokka glares at him, he doesn’t have the right to look mad right now. Sokka turns his eyes away from Zuko and Aang’s fight, and attacks more Dai Li agents with Toph. Toph throws them all up in the air using earth pillars, while Sokka hits each of them on the head with one throw of his boomerang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara sends a sharp wave of water at Azula that very nearly hits her face, but cuts her hair instead, startling her. Katara waterbends at Azula, knocking her down. Azula slowly gets back up into a fighting stance as Katara encases herself in water. One water tentacle captures Azula's hand as she struggles to attack her, and another one captures her foot after another failed attack. Katara then lifts Azula up, who yells in fear (Sokka hadn’t thought he’d ever hear Azula scream in fear; he spares a moment to be grateful and proud of his sister’s waterbending). Zuko appears and frees Azula using firebending to break the tentacles. Azula gets up and briefly smiles at Zuko in gratitude (Sokka had also never thought he’d see Azula thankful), then looks toward the crater Aang had created with the stalactite. Aang crawls out, exhausted. Azula runs toward Aang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka saves Toph from having a rock glove thrown at her, breaking it with his machete while Katara and Zuko face-off. Sokka feels himself wanting to tell Katara not to hurt him too much and then wants to kill himself for thinking that. Zuko doesn’t deserve his care and kindness. Zuko made his choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara brings out her water whips and Zuko does the same with fire (fire whips are apparently now a thing?). “I thought you had changed!” Katara grunts, shooting water at Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have changed,” Zuko says roughly, firing another blast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That single sentence makes Sokka want Katara to hurt him. Hurt Zuko. He’d spent all that time with Zuko, wanting a friend, helping Zuko, and this is what he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, you have changed, Zuko.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka knocks out more Dai Li agents with Toph, but she somehow ends up being separated from him. Sokka finds himself now facing Zuko; he doesn’t even attempt to hurt him, turning his back away (somehow, he knows that Zuko won’t hurt him either. That much he can be sure of).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka whips around, his club in hand. “Say one more word and I’ll knock you out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious,” he growls. “I can’t believe you –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko grabs his wrist, fingers warm. “Wait, I –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what?” grits out Sokka. “We have nothing to talk about right now, seeing as we’re in the middle of a fight right now – and you made your choice.” He glares fiercely at him. “Let. Me. Go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Zuko says persistently. He tries to pull Sokka closer to him, using his other hand to grab Sokka’s neck. His fingers are warm – too warm –, and Sokka tries to pull away, pushing at Zuko. He moves away too fast, and Zuko’s warm fingers slip. The smell of singed flesh hangs in the air as Sokka hisses, looking down at the red-pink burn across his neck, under his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks positively horrified, but he takes one look at the battle around him and his gaze turns firm and determined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he’d been wrong, Zuko would hurt him – if he got in the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka twists away from Zuko, backing up, pressing two fingers to the burn on his skin. Zuko watches him do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko opens his mouth and then closes it. He reaches his hand up, but then swings it back down, unsure. Sokka wants to hurt him, but he doesn't, but he does, but he fucking doesn't because he <em>cares</em> about Zuko. The way Zuko doesn't care about him, or seems to not care about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph reappears and tries to knock Zuko down, but he gets away, going to help Azula.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re hopelessly outnumbered, Sokka thinks as he watches Katara get knocked down. Aang jumps from an old building and earth surfs toward Zuko and Azula to stop them from attacking Katara, with a fiercely determined look on his face. A Dai Li agent appears and jumps in front of Aang's surf, sending him flying off. Aang yells as he falls. More Dai Li agents gather behind Zuko and Azula. Katara starts regaining her focus and Dai Li agents surround her. Katara uses the octopus form to defend herself. Sokka and Toph stand back to back, in fighting stances, as Dai Li agents surround them too. Aang stands up in a fighting stance, but his determined face quickly turns into one of despair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sees him mutter something and look at Katara, before looking down and muttering something else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closing his eyes, he turns away from Azula and Zuko and earthbends a crystal shelter tent. All of them look up as the shelter glows and Aang rises up, his arrow glowing. Katara looks at him with pride and hope, a small smile on her face. But before Aang’s eyes can open and any of them can see him fully go into the Avatar State there’s a loud, thunderous sound echoing through the catacombs and a bright flash of light blinds everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, no, no, no, no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang falls down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyes closed, unconscious, limp body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang falls down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Head lolling, clothes tattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang falls down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smoking clothes, glow disappearing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang falls down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Azula is the reason he falls, her mouth in a menacing smile, fingers in a lightning summoning position, smoking behind Aang, not a hair out of place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sees Katara’s eyes fill with tears that stream down her face and Sokka feels his own eyes stinging. It can’t be – Aang isn’t – he – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara creates a wave to catch Aang. The wave knocks down the Dai Li agents and Zuko. She looks down at Aang's lifeless body and back up with tears in her eyes. Zuko and Azula prepare to attack Katara, but a blast of fire stops them. Sokka looks up to see Iroh, the source of the blast, jumps down from the wall of the cave and shields Aang and Katara from Zuko and Azula.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You've got to get out of here!” Iroh yells, firing more blasts at Zuko and Azula and gesturing for Sokka and Toph to get to Aang and Katara. “I'll hold them off as long as I can!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka pulls Toph along to Aang and Katara. Katara doesn’t take her eyes off of Aang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay close to me,” Katara mutters, more to herself than to them. It hurts to see his sister like this, the way her entire face crumpled when she saw Aang, the way that her tears still haven’t stopped. Aang has felt like he’s always, </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span>, been here. It feels like he brought them all closer to each other, brought them all together. He’s family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara leads them to a waterfall and with the strength and power that a fourteen year old shouldn’t have, she lifts them all up using water from the waterfall, still clutching Aang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks down, holding on tight to Toph, and spares one last glance at Zuko. Zuko’s eyes meet his, and he sees Zuko’s mouth form words he can’t make out, but Zuko looks...sad? Sokka thinks he sees an apologetic look but there isn’t one. He’s mistaken. Zuko isn’t sorry at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko doesn’t care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hurry to where Kuei and Bosco are hidden in a shelter with Appa. Toph breaks the shelter and they all climb on Appa. Appa moans sadly as he flies through the air. Katara places Aang's body on Appa. She opens the vial around her neck and spins the water into a circle, the spirit water glowing above her hand. She uses her healing on Aang's wounded back. Sokka waits, holding Toph’s hand in anticipation. The glowing from the spirit water stops, and Katara starts crying. Sokka closes his eyes but Aang's tattoos glow for a second and he groans. Katara’s entire face lights up, she smiles, tears streaming down her face and looks at him, who smiles a little, and she holds him closer, hugging him. Sokka takes a deep breath, his chest squeezing painfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☼☽ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We've done it, Zuko,” Azula says triumphantly. “It's taken a hundred years, but the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks down. “I betrayed Uncle.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I betrayed Sokka.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he betrayed you. Zuko, when you return home, Father will welcome you as a war hero.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don't have the Avatar,” Zuko says, uncertain. “What if Father doesn't restore my honour?” (Sokka would have made a joke about honour, Sokka would’ve –)</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I betrayed Sokka. I betrayed Sokka. I betrayed Uncle and Sokka.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn't need to, Zuko.” Azula places a hand on his shoulder. “Today, you restored your own honour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What honour is there if he betrayed the two people who care about him? The two people </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>cares about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☼☽ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sky fades to a blue-black, grey clouds floating around as Appa flies them through the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Earth King looks back at Ba Sing Se. “The Earth Kingdom...has fallen,” he says sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka wants to hide under a fur pelt at home and have his mom hug him tightly The way she used to when he had a nightmare. Her fingers tracing swirls and patterns on his palm, her soft, soothing voice telling him stories or singing a lullaby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That won’t happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka can’t have that, not anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mom had been ripped from his life, just like his heart feels like it’s been ripped away from him today. The image of Aang falling still plays in his mind over and over again. Sure, he’s okay but what if there are lasting side effects? And Zuko…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka isn’t going to think about Zuko right now. Zuko definitely isn’t thinking about him, so why should he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. He’s tired. Tired like he hasn’t been in a long time.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry? i guess. i mean not really but...sorry?</p><p>would like to clear up that azula, aang, and katara’s fight took a very long time and zuko and iroh spent a long time talking just for the sake of what i wanted and toph and sokka were fast as lightning (haha lightning) getting out, ik it doesn’t really make sense but just let me beeee okay</p><p>also i’m not actually doing zuko pov i just had to add that last bit for a finishing touch</p><p>next chapter features: wallowing, missing your not-boyfriend, and crying??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. oh, why you gotta be so talkative</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 13</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the awakening - to the day of black sun part 1 and 2</p><p>so basicalllyyy this chapter is episode 1 of book 3 all the way to episode 11 of book 3, some parts will be the whole episode from sokka’s point of view, some of it will be really short snippets, some of it will only be a few parts, but yesh this is the awakening - to the day of black sun (also i completely skipped the beach episode cause the gaang scenes are eh)</p><p>we finally made it to part ii!!! :)</p><p>also content warning: sometime during the awakening a character has a panic attack, those can be traumatizing for some so if you would not like to read that stop at - “he can feel it starting in the tips of his fingers” and then wait for the little time stamp thing “—☽☼ —”</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go to Chameleon Bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka suggests the idea while they’re all tired and flying around. The Earth King barely spends a night with them before saying he’s going to explore the world. They’ve taken shelter with Dad for two nights now but it isn’t the best situation. Their ships can barely sail, let alone fight. Aang has fallen back into an unconscious state, Katara has healing sessions with him a lot. She seems frustrated. She’d confided in him last night about what’s wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If I’m such a great healer, why won’t he wake up, Sokka? </span>
  </em>
  <span>she’d said, rubbing at her eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How can I even hope things will change when I have no faith in myself?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka had wrapped his arms around her and said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You are the best healer in the world, Kat. You picked up healing and combative waterbending so fast. Give it some time, Aang will wake up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s a little cold with Dad too, Sokka isn’t sure why, but he’s biding his time to ask her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s surprised, actually, he’d expected Katara to bombard him with questions about what happened with Zuko. He supposes, that with everything that happened with Aang she’s a little stressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara pulls him away at the campfire on their third night, when they’re all going to bed because they’re setting sail tomorrow, and she pulls Toph along with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s time,” she states flatly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Time for what?” Sokka asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Time that you tell us what happened in the catacombs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sighs. He takes a deep breath and pauses for a moment. And then he’s telling them everything. He’s telling them about finding Zuko at the tea shop, he’s telling them about becoming friends with Zuko, and learning to care for Zuko. He tells them everything. It spills out of him, how it had started out and how he’d become friends with him after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Katara says, voice unsure. “When we saw you and…‘Li’...kissing, it was actually you and Zuko?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka flushes all the way down to his chest. “Uhm – well – no but yes. That was a cover so that you wouldn’t see me and Zuko. Zuko wasn’t – and will <em>never</em> be! – my boyfriend. It was – it was a cover story that Toph thought of to get you guys off my back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara rounds on Toph. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph shrugs, a little uninterested. “Yeah, Sokka told me so that he could make sure Zuko wasn’t lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he wasn’t actually here to capture Aang,” Katara says softly, then her gaze hardens. “At least until he changed his mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka wants to tell her that Zuko hadn’t “changed his mind”, he’d been trying to figure out what he was going to do forever. He doesn’t tell her. He can’t. He can’t keep thinking about Zuko and trying to defend him. Zuko made his choice. Zuko doesn’t care about him, nor does he want to think about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lightly touches the burn on his skin, and then hates himself for doing it. He vows to not touch it or think about it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell us?” Katara asks, and Sokka sees the hurt in her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs, scrubbing his face. “I had a plan. I had a plan, Katara. I was going to manipulate him, blackmail him, get information on the Fire Nation, and I knew you’d want to attack him right away which wouldn’t work with my plan. So, I didn’t tell you. But then I...I became friends with him? I didn’t mean to but he told me things about the Fire Nation – mostly useless things, mind you, but he still told me stuff – and then I hung out with him every day and we became...friends. I don’t know how or why, but we became friends. I couldn’t tell you after that. Not after I became friends with him. We got close and I told him stuff about me – don’t worry, nothing about you guys, and nothing that could make him hurt me; well more than...more than he sort of has right now – and he told me stuff about him. And he was like one of my best friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara studies him for a long time. Then, finally, she says, “I wish you would’ve told us, but...I understand why you didn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles at her and then nudges her shoulder. “Okay, I told you my story, now tell me what happened between you and Zuko in the catacombs </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> why you’re being like this with Dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shoves him back, letting out a deep breath. “I saw Zuko at this tea shop called the Jasmine Dragon –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Jasmine Dragon?” Sokka asks, confused. “But Zuko and Iroh work – or worked – at Pao Family Tea House.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a new tea shop and it was owned by Iroh in the Upper Ring,” Katara explains irritably. “Now let me finish. I realized it was him – only he looked really happy, telling his uncle to get more tea –” Sokka’s heart clenches “– I went to go find Suki and the other Kyoshi Warriors but it was Azula and she threw me in the catacombs, and then she threw Zuko in later. I was so angry at him, and at Azula, and at the Fire Nation. I started yelling and I talked about...Mom.” Sokka meets her eyes, and his mouth forms a frown. “Nothing really special, just that the Fire Nation took her away from us. Then he told me that...the Fire Nation took his mom away too.” She looks at him. “I suppose you already knew that.” Sokka did, not in those exact words, but Zuko had told him. “I felt bad all of a sudden, I felt sympathy for him. He told me about how his scar has made him stronger and then I – I – I almost used the spirit water from the Spirit Oasis on his scar.” Katara buries her hands in her face. “What if I did, Sokka? I didn’t even know if it would work and I didn’t even know anything about Zuko’s motives and I almost used the one thing that could have saved Aang on Zuko. What if I did use it, what would have happened to Aang? Or worse, what if I did use it and nothing happened and Zuko still joined Azula’s side? Is that really how much Aang means to me? I would have really given him up just to ‘heal Zuko’? Am I that horrible?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka hugs her, letting her sob into his chest and soak his shirt. Even Toph looks a little sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now Aang won’t even wake up!” she says through sobs. “I know that you said I should give it some time but what if he doesn’t wake up at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that,” Sokka says soothingly, rubbing his hand on her back. “He will wake up. You are the strongest healer, the best healer, if you can’t do it, nobody can.” He pulls her face up. “I know you can do it, Kat, I know you can do it. I believe in you, Toph believes in you,” (here Toph gives Katara a grin and a thumbs up), “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Aang</span>
  </em>
  <span> believes in you even if he can’t show it right now, and Dad and Bato believe in you. We all believe in you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara sniffs. “Thanks, Sokka.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any time, Kat, any time.” Sokka pauses and then says, “And on the subject of Dad…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shoves him. “All right. Fine.” She scrubs a hand over her face. “I just feel so angry at him, y’know? He left us, Sokka, he left. I know he had to leave, I understand why he left, but it was only a few years after Mom’s death. We were still coping and he just left us. How were we supposed to take care of the tribe? How were we supposed to take care of a bunch of old women and children who need help and attention all the time? We were twelve and eleven! He trusted some kids who weren’t even teenagers to take care of the tribe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka holds her tight. “I know. I know he just left us. Ever since Mom died we’ve had to take care of ourselves. Our whole lives have been shaped by war, Kat, it’s what we’re used to. But we have two freaking twelve year olds that we love a lot, they’re gonna help us save the world. War doesn’t wait for anyone to grow up, war doesn't wait for kids to mature, we’re stuck like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara squeezes almost all the breath out of him. “Since when did you become so wise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was all the time I spent at Zuko’s place with Iroh,” Sokka jokes until he sees the face Katara gives him. He winces. “Sorry. Too soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara glares at him, making him laugh and share a glance with Toph that she can’t see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you should talk to Dad and tell him how you’re feeling right now,” Sokka tells her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shrugs. “Maybe. I’ll – I’ll think about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pipsqueak and The Duke join them. They find the two of them trying to steal from one of their ships and they’ve been surprisingly helpful. They’d set sail a few days ago, deciding it’s safer not to be too near Chameleon Bay because of what happened at Ba Sing Se.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka explains his invasion plan to his dad, expecting Hakoda to be right behind it but he...isn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad,” Sokka says, irritated, “the whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>point</span>
  </em>
  <span> of going to Ba Sing Se was to gather an army to invade the Fire Nation capital!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad attempts to put a hand on Sokka’s shoulder but Sokka pushes him away. “Yes, Sokka,” he says, “I know that. But the city has fallen. Without the Earth Kingdom behind us, I’m afraid that –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka crosses his arms tightly and glares at the pink-orange sky. The setting sun glares back at him, lighting up his brown hair. “What? We give up? </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> not going to happen,” he says harshly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They can’t give up. They can’t. Aang is still unconscious but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any hope. Sokka’s been throwing himself into his modified plan of the invasion because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> give up.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t think that’s the only reason you’re throwing yourself into work, Sokka</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Katara had said one night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka had raised his eyebrows at her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What other reason would there be?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I think you’re trying to take your mind off of what happened with Zuko</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Katara said knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What? That doesn’t make any sense at all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shrugged. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It seems like the two of you...got close back in Ba Sing Se, you said he became like one of your best friends.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka had just shrugged it off.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Katara, that’s nothing. I’m good with it now. Zuko doesn’t matter to me. What we need to worry about is working on this plan and getting Aang to wake up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara huffed and walked off for a healing session with Aang.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She’s right, y’know</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Toph interjected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka had glared at her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shush, you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He isn’t throwing himself into work because of Zuko. He really isn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s just that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> give up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad smiles and this time Sokka lets him put a hand on his shoulder. “Spoken like a true warrior, Sokka.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spot a Fire Nation scout ship coming in their direction. Which means they need a plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka puts his hand on his chin as Bato tells Dad they can’t fight the Fire Nation. They need a plan, an idea. Something that won’t hurt Aang (as Katara angrily mentions) and something that won’t hurt them and the ships. Then he gets it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got it!” All eyes turn to him. “If we can’t beat the Fire Nation, let’s join them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka,” Bato says, shocked. “You can’t mean that you want us to switch sides.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka raises his hands up. “No.” He clasps his hands together and grins. “We don’t have to switch sides, just boats!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets a couple of raised eyebrows but Dad grins. “You’re a genius, Sokka!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they get to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara and Toph sink their ships and then they abandon them, using small row-boats to find land and rest while they wait. They find a forest and camp out there. Waiting, just one big happy family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Katara,” Dad says, looking at Katara’s back during dinner. “It’s cold. Come sit by the fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka knows exactly what face she’s making as she crosses her arms, her back still towards them, and says, “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next, they sneak aboard a Fire Nation ship in the dead of night. Masks on, using hooks to climb up the side, they expected a fight but they find most of the crew sleeping in robes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Sokka asks incredulously. “We were worried about them? Momo could take them!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s a ‘Momo’?” a voice asks and Sokka’s eyes widen as he sees soldiers getting ready to fight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were saying?” Toph bites out, glaring at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka huffs. “What I’m saying is –” Katara raises her arms and Sokka’s eyes widen more “– duck!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large wave crashes on the soldiers and the rest of them fight the others. They throw stink bombs and tie the crew up, stealing their uniforms, robes, and armour. They disguise themselves, Dad and the rest of the warriors tying their hair in top-knots and wearing armour, Katara and Toph in capes, Sokka’s hair isn’t long enough for a top-knot so he decides to just start growing it out to blend in and wear a helmet for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka suggests leaving to the Serpent's Pass but when they get there, weird, Fire Nation-y, evil barricades are stopping them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka eyes the architecture. “You’ve got to hand it to the Fire Nation. They might be tyrants, but they certainly are fine engineers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad chuckles but Bato looks worried. “So what’s our plan now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad shares a smirk with Sokka. “There’s only one thing we can do –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“– put our disguises to the test!” Sokka finishes for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s actually much easier than Sokka had thought. The guard at the gates is actually friendly and lets them pass with a smile and a parting wave. Who knew Fire Nation people were nice (you knew, Sokka, you knew. Zuko, remember?)?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What they don’t expect is him saying this: “Didn’t you hear? The war’s almost over. The Avatar was killed at Ba Sing Se!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara looks like she’s about to cry, while everyone else looks sad and disappointed. Sokka can see that, he can see why, but this is good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> are you so happy about, Sokka?” Katara asks irritably. “They think they’ve won!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Sokka smiles, “and that’s just the break we needed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara’s mouth drops open, her eyes wide as she stares at him like he’s insane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone stares at him. Sokka rolls his eyes, when will they realize he’s usually right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can pretend to be Fire Nation soldiers and nobody will bother us!” He turns to his sister. “You can work on getting Aang awake without worrying about having to flee or him getting captured, and we can plan our invasion. It’s a win-win.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shakes her head. “Aang won’t like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but it’s our only chance to stay safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the awakening — a few weeks later</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka lets the sea breeze blow the hair on the side of his head (he’d started growing it out to blend in with the Fire Nation; it still feels weird, out of place, unnatural, but it is what it is), taking a deep breath. He’s fine. He’s good. It’s been a few weeks since...Ba Sing Se and since they entered the Fire Nation, and Sokka is fine. Perfectly fine. Fine with the knowledge that he’s in the place where someone he </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> care about anymore lives. Said person is a prince that has now returned home to his palace in the Fire Nation. Sokka doesn’t think about it often.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at the bright blue sky above him, littered with fluffy white clouds. Sokka tries to spend as little time as he can below deck and in the rooms. They’re all grey, and red, and suffocating. Sokka hates it. They remind him of when he was trapped on Zuko’s ship, and he wants to think about </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> even less (because it involves Zuko, and Sokka does not want to think about Zuko). So Sokka spends most of his time on deck, where the sea breeze is still the same, albeit a little wam (one plus about the Fire Nation is that it’s warm, even if Sokka prefers the cold), and he can still distract himself with the colours of the sky. He does most of his planning on deck too, with the sun above him and his wolf-tail blowing gently. Dad and Bato work with him sometimes but Sokka does a lot of it on his own. He won’t admit it, but he’s doing it to keep his mind on something and not on...someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His nights are a little fitful; Zuko appears in most dreams...saying...things; Mom shows up sometimes, too. He knows it had been his idea to hide out in the Fire Nation on a Fire Nation ship but the ship doesn’t help his nightmares. A lot of the time, Sokka finds himself going up on the deck to speak to Yue. Sokka tells her a lot of things, but speaking to her reminds him of speaking to Zuko…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears footsteps and puts on his helmet out of reflex, but it’s just Toph and Katara going over to –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aang! You’re awake!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara hugs Aang tight and Toph refrains from punching him. Sokka rushes over, relief and happiness flooding in his chest, and gives Aang a hug as well. He’s really missed this kid. “Aang, good to see you back with the living, buddy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang starts breathing heavily. “Sokka?” His steps get wobbly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh oh,” Toph shouts, eyes widening, “somebody catch him, he’s going to –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All three of them wince as Aang passes out, Katara attempting to catch him. Katara falls to her knees, Aang in her arms as Sokka, Toph, Appa, and Momo surround them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang jolts awake when Katara uses cool water to relax him. He sits up, in front of Katara and Sokka brings him a red robe to wear. Sokka looks at Toph, nudges her, and leads her away from Katara and Aang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should give them some space,” Sokka explains. “Katara’s been so worried that he wouldn’t wake up, they deserve some time alone. Plus, I figure Aang will have some questions and Katara will probably be best at explaining.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph shrugs. “Whatever. You just don’t want to have to explain what happened with Zuko again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shoves her and shifts his gaze over to where Dad just walked to Aang and Katara. Sokka sees her brush him off, annoyed, again while Aang tries to greet him properly. Katara turns away and Dad walks over to them, disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kat still cold with you?” Sokka asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad looks over to where Katara is helping Aang below deck, probably for a healing session. He looks down. “I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here’s the thing; Sokka knows why his sister is acting like this with their dad. Here’s the other thing; Sokka hasn’t told Hakoda why Katara is acting like this, even though he knows. Here’s the third thing; Sokka can’t tell Dad why because he knows Katara has to. She needs the closure, she needs to be ready, and she needs to tell him herself. So he doesn’t say anything, even though he desperately wants to. He wants them to all be happy again, the way they couldn’t when Dad left. But Dad and Katara need to do that on their own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Here's the fourth thing; he needs them to be happy so there is at least one happy thing in his life right now.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara brings Aang over so Sokka can explain some stuff about Ba Sing Se and the invasion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sits on a crate, a map in front of him while the others surround him. “After what happened at Ba Sing Se, we had to get you to safety,” he explains. “We flew back to Chameleon Bay where we found Dad and the other Water Tribe men. The Earth King decided he wanted to travel the world in disguise, so he set off alone. Well, not completely alone,” he says, referring to Bosco. Soon, the bay was overrun by Fire Nation ships. Rather than fight them all, we captured a single ship and made it our disguise. Since then we've been traveling west. We crossed through the Serpent's Pass a while ago. We've seen a few Fire Nation ships, but none have bothered us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang nods. “So what now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been working on a modified version of the invasion plan,” Dad answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sokka’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> invasion plan,” Katara cuts in sharply. Sokka spares her a smile, she may be very annoying at times and she may be a little rude to Dad right now, but she does appreciate his ideas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad looks uncomfortable. “Yes, Sokka’s plan. We won’t be able to mount a massive invasion without the Earth King’s armies but the solar eclipse will still leave the Fire Nation vulnerable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka nods. “So we're planning a smaller invasion. Just a ragtag team of our friends and allies from around the Earth Kingdom. We already ran into Pipsqueak and The Duke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang looks over to Pipsqueak, who’s eating noodles while The Duke is on his shoulder. “Good to see you, Aang!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka grins. “And the best part is, the eclipse isn't even our biggest advantage! We have a secret,” he whispers and looks at both of his sides for dramatic effect, “you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang furrows his brows, confused. “Me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep, the whole world thinks you’re dead! Isn’t that great?” Sokka raises both his arms triumphantly. Katara facepalms in the background.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang shakes his head, looking distraught. He walks over to the side of the boat, looking onward. “The world thinks I’m dead? How is that good news? That’s terrible!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka walks over to him. “No, it’s great! It means the Fire Nation won’t be hunting us anymore.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>It means </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zuko</span>
  <em>
    <span> won’t be hunting us anymore.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “And even better, they won’t be expecting you on the Day of Black Sun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang puts his head in his hands. “No, no, no, no, no. You have no idea. This is so messed up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka furrows his brows, it...well, it is a little messed up, he can see why, but it is vital. It'll help them. It will. It should.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A Fire Nation ship approaches them and Aang’s eyes widen before his gaze hardens. “I’ll handle this. The Avatar is back.” He opens his glider only to grunt in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara rushes towards him. “Aang, wait! Remember, they don’t know we’re not Fire Nation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad and Bato go to see what the Fire Nation ship wants and Sokka thinks it all goes smoothly when the captain turns away until Toph yells, “They know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She metalbends the bridge between the ships off, making the captain and guards fall into the water. Katara creates a large wave which separates the other ship from theirs. The captain and guards climb up back on their ship and start firing at theirs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka makes sure Aang stays hidden with him as Toph and Katara fight. Aang bangs his head on his staff while watching the fight scene go on. For once, Sokka is happy to not be in the fight and be unable to do anything, he’d much rather keep Aang safe right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang runs out. “I can’t just stand by and do nothing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka follows him, grabbing his staff. “Aang, no! You’re still hurt and you have to stay secret! Just let us handle this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Aang grabs his staff and walks back to their little safe hole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are we doing?” Toph asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Things couldn’t get much worse,” Sokka answers over the commotion. A serpent rises from the water near their ship at those words. Sokka turns around and looks at it in despair. “The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn’t it?” he yells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make it too easy,” Toph shouts back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the other Fire Nation ship hits a fireball at the serpent and the serpent wraps itself around that ship. Sokka smiles widely. “Thank you, the universe!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go down to Aang’s room so that they can all go get food, but Aang doesn’t want to tie the headband around his arrow. Sokka can see why, his arrow is one of the last things left that’s part of his culture. It is a lot to ask of him, and he’s twelve years old, he hasn’t grown up with the war, it isn’t fair to push this on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka and Toph wait outside Aang’s room while Katara tries to talk to him. Sokka would much rather leave this suffocating hallway but Toph yanks his arm and makes him stay, claiming that she wants to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara tries to talk to him, she’s gentle and helpful, but Aang isn’t feeling it. He feels like he failed the world, and he’s explosive and angry (likeZukolikeZukolikeZuko).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything you need?” Katara asks softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to redeem myself,” Aang says, voice hard. “I need my honour back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can feel it starting at the tips of his fingers, a numbing sensation that seems to spread across his skin like wildfire, goosebumps rising on his skin. Every breath he takes begins to shallow into sharp and desperate gasps for air; his lungs threatening to collapse as his mind and heart race against time – time not stopping, time that keeps ticking away. He feels trapped. A thousand things appear in his mind at once. Zuko, Zuko, Zuko, Zuko. Any memory of him at all. Laughing, fighting, yelling, blushing. Sokka tries to take a deep breath, his heart beating faster than ever, but he feels like he can’t. His brain fogs up and he starts to sweat, he  feels faint, as if he’s choking. It becomes almost unbearable, a significant lump forming in his throat. Sokka clenches his fists tight, his whole body trembling. It feels like his entire body is succumbing to something – to something – to some unwanted feeling trying to swallow him whole. He’s wired out, Spirits, he can’t – he can’t breathe – he can’t feel – it’s – Zuko – and – </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka?” Toph’s voice cuts through his mind, sharp as glass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka turns to her, sweating in his guard uniform, images of Zuko fading away into darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, are you okay?” She sounds worried, a tone Sokka doesn’t like to hear on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How much time has passed? Why does it feel like it’s been forever but it also feels like not even a second has passed by?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka gulps, closing his eyes, trying to get away from the orange-lit hallway. “U – upstairs,” he chokes out, “ let’s – let’s go upstairs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph takes his arm as they go up the steps even though they both know she doesn’t need to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka lets the cool air on deck relax him, and he waits for his sister before going to go get food in the Fire Nation, hoping a walk will make him feel better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang leaves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad comes up to them with Katara, who has tears on her face, and tells them that Aang has flown away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka exchanges a glance with his dad, they have a wordless conversation, and he gives him a hug (surprised that Katara does as well) before hopping on Appa with Toph, Katara, and Momo. They’ll find Aang. They will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka spots his glider in the ocean and sees a volcano that is in the same direction. It isn’t long before they find him washed up at the volcano. All of them hurry to give him a group hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang jumps up and sticks his glider in a crack on the top of the volcano. The perfect image of a hero, a hero who is definitely going to save them all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the headband</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They overrule Sokka. So. A disguise is necessary. He doesn’t exactly like the idea of stealing from others but they’re Fire Nation (you know they haven’t even done anything wrong, Sokka, you know it. Don’t be like Jet, don’t be like Jet just because of what happened to you) and they’re doing it in the name of saving the world, and fashion of course, so it’s okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They do look pretty good if Sokka does say so himself (who knew he looked great in red?). And if they’re going to be staying in the Fire Nation for a while, they’re going to need accessories of course. They head over to a head-wear display where Sokka takes a red ribbon that has a golden flame on it (the insignia, he knows, it’s the insignia not the symbol. He knows because he can feel that memory as clear as anything) and ties his hair in a top-knot. His hair is longer now and the sides aren’t shaved, it’s weird. He feels strange with a top-knot on. How long ago was it that Zuko told him about top-knots? “Never touched, except in circumstances akin to death”. Dramatic, yet poetic. Describes Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why can’t he stop? Why can’t Sokka stop fucking thinking about him? What is it about Zuko that makes Sokka think about him every second of everyday even though Zuko betrayed him? Sokka wants to know, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know. It’s driving him nuts. Everywhere Sokka looks he sees red and gold (gold, gold, he sees gold, Zuko’s eyes, the warmest gold, gold, gold –) and he can’t stop thinking about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to visit my friend Kuzon here a hundred years ago,” Aang tells them excitedly. “So everyone just follow my lead and stay cool. Or, as they say in the Fire Nation, ‘stay flamin’’.” Sokka stares at him. Aang walks around the building corner and smiles at a random man. “Greetings, my good hotman.” Sokka cannot believe this kid right now. Sokka shrugs at the man’s confused face as they pass by him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang, being a vegetarian, doesn’t come to the meat place with them. Sokka shrugs it off and happily eats his food. But when they’re finished they can’t find Aang anywhere. Sokka suggests going back to the cave to see if he’s there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang, as it turns out, enrolled in a Fire Nation school. Of all the stupid things he’s done, this is one of the worst.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aang,” Sokka says, “I’m trying to be mature and not immediately shoot down your idea, but it sounds...really terrible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara hits him on the arm, but Toph just nods along. “Yeah, we got our outfits. What do you need to go to school for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every minute I’m in that classroom,” Aang says. “I’m learning new things about the Fire Nation. I already have a picture of Fire Lord Ozai.” Sokka perks up at this. Suddenly, he needs to see Ozai. He needs to see the man who has hurt Zuko so much (</span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Why does Sokka still </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> about him?). Aang holds up a picture. Sokka stares intently at it; the worst part is...Ozai looks human. They’ve never seen what he looks like and he looks human. Human. Yet, Sokka stares at it and he can see that he looks like a monster at the same time that he looks like a human. It gives him a weird feeling. To see the man who hurt his own son so much. Sokka can almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> the pain. It’s...fucking weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang pulls out another picture. “And here’s one I made out of noodles!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles at the picture. It is </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> well done. “Impressive, I admit. But I still think it’s too dangerous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we'll never find out about the secret river then. It goes right to the Fire Lord's palace. We were supposed to learn about it in class tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Aang is baiting him, but...a secret river is useful! And maybe they do teach kids about secret rivers. Sokka puts a hand on his chin, thinking, and then concedes, “I am a fan of secret rivers...fine! Let’s stay a few more days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang jumps up in the air happily, blowing a little wind on Sokka’s feet. “Flamey-O, hotman!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stares after him as he runs off. He turns to look at Katara, raising his eyebrows. “‘Flamey-O’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara shrugs, shaking her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want us to </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Sokka yells incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang rubs the back of his head. “Be my parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t be your </span>
  <em>
    <span>parents</span>
  </em>
  <span>! How did you even get in trouble at school?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, well.” Aang shifts his gaze away. “During music class I was dancing and then this girl told me she liked my dance but then her popular boyfriend got mad at me for telling her I could show it to her and he tried to fight me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy sh –” Katara shoots him a look and Sokka swallows down that word, “– monkey-feathers? Holy monkey-feathers.” Sokka winks at Katara. Saved it. “You fought a guy at school. You fought a ‘popular’ guy at school and you’ve only been there for two days? You’re gonna be like a legend there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t think –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aang,” Katara interjects. “You fought a kid at school and now you want us to be your parents? What did you even do to this kid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang raises his hands up in defense. “I didn’t actually fight him, I swear! I just kept dodging his attacks and then he fell to the floor and started crying. And now the headmaster wants my parents to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t even look like you,” Sokka points out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, do we have to?” Katara asks. “I mean we’re ‘from the Earth Kingdom colonies’, so it wouldn’t really matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka slaps a hand to his forehead and sighs. Why is he </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends</span>
  </em>
  <span> with these people?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that is how Sokka ends up with a weird, itchy beard that he actually looks good in, and a thick accent, Katara next to him pretending to be pregnant. Yeah...no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for coming, Mr and Mrs…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka strokes his fake beard. He might as well get in character. “Fire, Wang Fire.” He points to Katara. “And this is my wife...Sapphire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sapphire Fire,” Katara says, not missing a beat, although she gently kicks his ankle. Maybe he wasn’t thinking but...whatever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr and Mrs...Fire,” the headmaster says, a little suspiciously. “Your son has been enrolled here for two days and he’s already causing problems. He’s argued with his history teacher, disrupted music class, and roughed up my star pupil.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara raises a dramatic hand to her mouth. “My goodness, that doesn’t sound like our Kuzon,” she says in an exaggerated, and high pitched voice. Damn, Sokka’s sister has some acting skills. Not as good as his of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's what any mother would say, Ma'am. Nonetheless, you're forewarned; if he acts up one more time, I'll have him sent to reform school,” the headmaster stands up, “by which I mean the coal mines. Are we clear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The coal mines? They have children in this school that they’ll send to coal mines if they mess up? They’re kids, that’s horrible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka doesn’t really know how Fire Nation parents act (besides Zuko’s…) so he just does what he thinks is correct? “Don't you worry, Mr. Headmaster. I'll straighten this boy out somethin' fierce!” He turns to Aang. “Young man, as soon as we get home you're gonna get the punishment of a lifetime!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The headmaster smiles and nods. “That’s what I like to hear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, that’s even worse. They </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> kids to get punished. What the fuck is wrong with the Fire Nation?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we’re having a dance party,” Sokka says in disbelief. “It seems so...silly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang grins. “Don’t think of it as a dance party, but as a cultural event celebrating the art of fancy footwork!” He does a little dance move to punctuate his statement. Sokka snorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re coming!” Toph tells them. “Everyone stop bending.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As if I was bending</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sokka thinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sits down with his sister, watching Aang try to convince these kids to dance. He has to admit, he wants Aang to succeed in this. These kids haven’t done anything wrong, and he can’t stop thinking about how they’re all the age that Sokka was when he basically gave up his life to train to be a warrior and protect the village. For so long, it burdened him. He felt weak and useless. Protecting a village that could hardly be called a village. He’d wanted every single day for his mom and dad to come back and take this burden of his shoulders. These kids deserve to be able to dance and have fun. Not be forced to grow up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka can’t fight the smile that appears on his face when Katara and Aang dance together. They move in sync, smiles on their face. It...reminds him of when he danced with Zuko that day in the rain. How long ago was that? It feels like forever. Maybe neither of them had any of that fancy footwork but it was still fun. One of the best days Sokka had ever had. How could he let his guard down like that? He’d just done whatever with Zuko. As if – as if Zuko would never do anything to him. As if –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shakes his head and turns back to where all the students are talking off the bands tied around their waist and tying them around their heads, like Aang. He smiles when they fly away, still thinking of the way those students jumped at the chance to save Aang. Maybe Aang really did help them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the painted lady</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka makes a schedule. He makes a schedule that’s long and packed with what they have to do, where they should go, and he even slips in some notes about the invasion. Really he didn’t need to make it, he’s already planning the invasion, but making it helps take his mind off of stuff – off of Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When said schedule’s plans get ruined, of course he’s mad but then Katara spins around and glares at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I will never, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> turn my back on people who need me!” she yells. “I'm going down to that village, and I am gonna do whatever I can.” Sokka is struck with the overwhelming fact that his sister has grown up. She looks like Mom, everything she’s saying, the way she speaks fiercely. She looks like Mom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Soka shouts at her retreating back. “I’m coming, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t want to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shrugs, trying to pretend he’s not tearing up just a little.”You need me, and I will never turn my back on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara runs towards him and pulls him into a hug. Sokka holds on tight like he never wants to let go. “Sokka, you really do have a heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He really does have a heart, doesn’t he?” Aang says, tearing up. Sokka hears the punch Toph gives him, rather than see it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka thinks of his mom and he thinks of her giving herself up to save Katara when he defends his only sister. “Maybe she is a waterbender, but she was just trying to help you. Because of her, that factory won't be polluting your river, and the army is gone. You should be down on your knees thanking her!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara pushes him back. “Sokka, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka still thinks that the villagers could have cleaned the river themselves but he helps anyway, and he steals some purple berries because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> really good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sokka’s master</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks up at the meteor shower above them, smiling slightly. The dark blue sky littered with stars, it reminds him of Yue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, this is amazing to watch,” Katara says in awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka squints at the sky. “Kind of makes you realize how insignificant we are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, you’ve seen nothing once, you’ve seen it a thousand times,” Toph says casually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka spots a huge meteor heading for the ground. “Oh, man.” He stands up. “You’ve never not seen anything like this before, Toph.” The meteor flies over them and Sokka sees it crash nearby. He exchanges glances with Aang and Katara before pulling Toph along and jumping on Appa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a huge, blazing, orange fire where the meteor landed. Sokka thinks inexplicably of Zuko, him firing at them in the catacombs and his eyes burning just as bright as the fire when he chooses Azula.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fire is gonna destroy that town!” Katara yells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not if we can stop it,” Aang says firmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka watches his friends clear up the fire, all badass and powerful, while he just stands there with Momo and gets soaked. He feels useless, like he did when Dad left him at the village.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logically, logically, he knows it isn’t true, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling this way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These people have no idea how close they were to getting toasted last night,” Aang says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph nods. “Yeah, the worst thing about being in disguise is that we don’t get the hero worship anymore. I miss the love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka rolls his eyes. “Boo-hoo,” he says sarcastically. “Poor heroes.” He turns his back on them and looks out at dangles his legs off the ledge he’s sitting on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your problem?” Katara asks. “You haven’t even touched your smoked sea slug.” Of course that’s what she notices. Because that’s all he is? The guy who likes food, that’s it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka scrubs a hand over his face and sighs. “It’s just, all you guys can do this awesome bending stuff like putting out forest fires, and flying around, and making other stuff fly around. I can’t fly around, okay.” He looks down, images flashing in his mind (Zuko, his dad, his mom, the village, Gran-Gran, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zuko</span>
  </em>
  <span>). “I can’t do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kind of makes you realize how insignificant we are.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How insignificant I am.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true,” Katara protests. “No one can read a map like you.” That’s not important, they don’t need him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t read at all,” Toph says, shrugging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Aang agrees, “and who keeps us laughing with sarcastic comments all the time?” Sokka doesn’t respond. “I mean, look at Katara's hair, right? What's up with that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? What’s wrong with my hair?” Katara asks frantically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. I was just trying to –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I appreciate the effort,” Sokka says. “But the fact is each of you is so amazing and so special and I'm...not. I'm just the guy in the group who's regular.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m just the guy in the group that doesn’t matter</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He hasn’t felt this way in a long time. Or. Maybe not too much of a long time. He’s just...always surrounded by people who are so gifted in these things that he can’t do. Why can’t he just be special for once?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara gets up and sits down next to him. ““I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but I hope you know, none of us see you that way.” She puts a hand on his shoulder and pauses before saying, “I know something that's going to make you feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?” Sokka asks, looking at her a little sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulls him up and starts running out of the outdoor restaurant. Toph and Aang have no choice but to follow (neither does Sokka).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara stops in front of a weapons store and Sokka grins widely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shopping!” he yells gleefully, clapping his hands together. He looks around the store. “Maybe a little something to reinvigorate my battling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka plays around with a few weapons when he sees it. A beautiful sword hung up on the wall with intricate designs on its hilt and scabbard. He naturally wanders towards it, his fingers itching to touch it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a good eye,” the shopkeeper says. “That's an original from Piandao, the greatest swordsmaster and sword maker in Fire Nation history. He lives in the big castle up the road from here.” The shopkeeper walks away while Sokka still stares at the sword in awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang’s face lights up. “That’s it! That’s what you need all along, Sokka!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka turns to him, raising his eyebrows. “A sword?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not the sword, a master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka takes the sword off the wall and holds it in his hands. He looks at his reflection in the sword, letting it blind his eyes the way the light hits it, and sees Zuko in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stares up at the intimidating, yet beautiful, castle in front of him, leaves and vines curling up the towers. He takes a deep breath, and raises the golden knocker (golden, golden, golden because everything in the Fire Nation is golden, and Sokka can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> seeing Zuko everywhere. His fingers brush over the scar under his ear), tapping it against the door gently. No answer. Sokka looks around and then takes both knockers banging them loudly. The door opens and Sokka jumps back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I help you?” a man asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka composes himself quickly, clearing his throat. “I’ve come to train with the master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should know The Master turns almost everyone away.” He holds his hand out. “What did you bring him to prove your worth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, uh…” Sokka feels his clothes, trying to find something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guy, who Sokka assumes is the master’s butler, shakes his head. “Right...let’s get this over with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestures for Sokka to enter. Sokka steps through the gate and the butler closes the door. Sokka looks around the grounds and the castle, his eyes catching on the tallest tower. They enter a large room with a red carpet and tall windows, giving a view of the valley. Rows of lit candles are placed on both sides of the windows. A man, Sokka assumes it’s Piandao, sits at a small table in front of the windows, his back to the camera. He’s wearing a black cheongsam and his dark grey hair is pulled up in a top-knot. He’s holding a calligraphy brush and dipping it into a tray of ink, carefully holding his sleeve with the other hand. His hands move gracefully and slowly. Sokka takes a deep breath and steps forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Master, my name is Sokka, and I wish to be instructed in the way of the sword,” Sokka says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka,” Piandao echoes. “That’s an unusual name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s eyes widen as he starts sweating, his voice turning high. “Oh, uh, really, uh where I come from, the Fire Nation colonies, it's a pretty normal name...for Fire Nation colonials.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao hums. “Let me guess. You've come hundreds of miles from your little village where you're the best swordsman in town. And you think you deserve to learn from the master.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, actually, I’ve been all over the world,” he says honestly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. Here we go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka gets down on his knees, hanging his head. “And I know one thing for sure: I have a lot to learn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not doing a very good job of selling yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sighs. “I know. Your butler told me that when I met you, I would have to prove my worth. But the truth is...I don't know if I am worthy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao hums. “I see.” He smiles and turns his head, picking up his sword. “Well, then, let's find out together how worthy you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks up as Piandao's shadow passes over him. Piandao's sword's scabbard strikes the floor. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> train you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A huge smile spreads across Sokka’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao’s butler, who Sokka learns is named Fat, shows Sokka to a large room and gives him an identical outfit to Piandao. Sokka doesn’t waste any time putting it on and smiling happily while doing so. He meets Piandao at the ground floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The first thing you must learn is that your weapon is an extension of yourself.” Sokka holds onto his every word when he unsheathes his sword and points it in front of him. “You must think of it as another part of your own body.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like a second head,” Sokka says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, more like an extra-long, really sharp arm,” Piandao corrects, smiling slightly, before he continues. “The sword is a simple tool, but in the hands of a master it becomes the most versatile of weapons, and just as the imagination is limitless,” Sokka smiles when Piandao sheathes his sword and performs a stance, “so too are the possibilities of the sword.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka nods his head in understanding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao shows him to a table with a calligraphy set on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The warrior practices a variety of arts to keep his mind sharp and fluid,” Piandao explains, flattening out a piece of paper on the table. “The first you will learn is calligraphy.” He hands Sokka a brush. Sokka is instantly reminded of his brush that he wrote with when he was with Zuko. “Write your name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Writing my name will make me a better swordsman‌?” Sokka asks, skeptical.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you write your name, you stamp the paper with your identity. You must learn to use your sword to stamp your identity on a battlefield. Remember, you cannot take back a stroke of the brush, or a stroke of the sword.” Well that definitely doesn’t make him nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka's hand quivers and he sweats nervously, the brush barely an inch above the paper. He scratches his head and places the tip of the brush on his chin, thinking hard about what to do. He’s never been really good at writing. Katara’s always been the elegant one. Sokka has blocky, messy writing that is practical without the swirls and prettiness. He has no idea how to write his name all nicely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are getting ink on your face,” Piandao states.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am?” Sokka looks at the brush, an idea hitting him. “I am! So this is about putting my identity on the page, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao nods. Sokka smiles and then he paints the ink over his face. Sokka presses his face onto the paper and rolls his head around. He picks up the paper and shows it to Piandao, smiling cheerfully. Piandao simply closes his eyes in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did Sokka do something wrong?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka trains with Fat later in the day which...doesn’t exactly go well. He begins to wonder if maybe he isn’t cut out for this, maybe Piandao is just wasting his time with Sokka. He seems to be messing everything up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao takes a blindfold and wraps it around Sokka’s eyes before leading him somewhere outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Landscape painting teaches a warrior to hold the lay of the land in his mind,” Piandao says before pulling off Sokka’s blindfold. “In battle, you only have an instant to take everything in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka rubs his eyes and smiles with excitement and amazement at the scene in front of him. He’s standing before a majestic view of a beautiful river flowing into a series of waterfalls that drop into a canyon. Before he can get a proper look, Piandao grabs his head and turns him away, making him sit in front of a table with a piece of paper, paint, and paint brushes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, paint it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka gapes in disbelief and he tries to look at the waterfall, but Piandao turns his head back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And no peeking.” That’s swell. Easy as pie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka takes a deep breath and imagines the beautiful scene in front of him, but he’d barely had enough time to see it. And every time he closes his eyes, he sees Zuko and his gorgeous smile (and his beautiful eyes, and his soft hair, and his elegant fingers, and –)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s horrible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka takes another deep breath and paints what he can remember, adding details to make it more him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm finished!” he yells, holding up his drawing. And okay maybe it isn’t his best work but he’s fifteen and never got to have fancy drawing tutors, he’s not blessed with natural talents (he’s not blessed with anything).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao opens his eyes and looks at Sokka. “You added a rainbow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks down at his drawing, worried. Maybe the rainbow wasn’t the best idea, but he’d been thinking of Zuko and pretty things and then his mind had wandered to that time they danced in the rain. “Is that ok‌ay?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka spars with Fat again and he actually does better than before, but Piandao distracts him. And Sokka just keeps getting the feeling that he’s not doing anything right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rock gardening teaches the warrior to manipulate his surroundings and use them to his advantage,” Piandao says, gesturing to an area with...rocks. Toph would love it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka places a hand on his chin and thinks carefully. “Hm, manipulate them to my advantage...oh!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka creates a chair with the rocks and lays a moss rug thing over it, relaxing on it and waving at Fat’s shocked face (maybe, just maybe he made a mess to bother him but Fat is kind of annoying, okay?).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, would you mind grabbing a cold drink for me‌?” Sokka asks, more like orders, Fat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fat gasps and turns to Piandao.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao smiles. “I'll take a slice of lemon in mine, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fat groans, hangs his head, and walks off to fetch the drinks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka duels Fat again while Piandao sits in the foreground. Sokka and Fat thrust and parry a few strikes. Sokka swings his sword in a circle and tries to hit Fat's leg, but Fat pulls his leg up and he avoids the attack. Fat swings his sword and Sokka parries it. Sokka returns the strike but Fat also parries it. He continues his offense with four quick thrusts. Fat blocks all the attacks and tries to attack Sokka. He misses (loser), and Sokka uses the opportunity to slip the blade of his wooden sword under Fat's hand and fling the wooden sword from it. Fat raises his hands in defeat as Sokka thrusts his sword forward and places the blade on the side of Fat's neck, ending the duel. Sokka steps away from Fat, puts his hands together and bows to Piandao, while Fat frowns angrily at him (in your face, Sokka thinks).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You've had a good first day of training,” Piandao says after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have‌?” Sokka asks, doubt pushing at his chest. “But I thought I messed up every single thing we worked on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You messed things up in a very special way.” Sokka thinks that sounds like Piandao is saying he’s insane but he takes the compliment. “You are ready for a real sword.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s eyes widen and he grins excitedly. “Are you giving me one of yours‌?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s groans disappointedly and slumps down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your sword must be an extension of yourself. So tomorrow, you will make your own sword.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka immediately perks up and grins. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can barely sleep at all in the night, excitement gnawing at his chest. Sokka had thought that maybe, just this once, his dreams wouldn’t be full of Zuko; but the red and gold, and the castle, and the swords all remind him too much of Zuko. He keeps thinking of him. Tossing and turning, seeing him everywhere, gold flashing in his mind. Fleetingly, he thinks of asking Zuko what his favourite colour is and not being able to answer the question himself. It was true, at the time, that he couldn’t pick a favourite colour. But he thinks of Zuko looking into his eyes and saying his favourite colour is blue, and he thinks of the gold everywhere and the gold of Zuko’s eyes. And –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s favourite colour is gold; a colour of the Fire Nation. The colour of the Fire Prince’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day, Piandao leads him to a room where weapons are hung all about the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Choosing the correct material is the most important step in crafting a sword.” Piandao picks up some steel. “You must trust your steel with your life. Choose carefully.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka takes two bricks and weighs them in each hand. He sets them down and takes another brick. He sniffs it and bites the brick to test its quality. Sokka puts the brick down and puts a hand to his chin thoughtfully. The meteorite flashes in his mind (the meteorite, the reason he’s here, the reason he’d felt so insecure). It is said that the moon sends meteorites to Earth; Sokka sees Yue’s beautiful face smile at him and an idea comes to his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to Piandao. “Master, would it be possible for me to leave and bring back a special material for my sword‌?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao smiles and Sokka thinks he might see a little bit of pride in his eyes. “I wouldn't have it any other way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka leaves the castle excitedly and walks to their temporary camp site.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, guys. What are you doing‌?” Sokka greets happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang, Katara, and Toph all jump at Sokka and give him a group hug. Not that he doesn’t mind the affection, but why? Nevertheless, he grins and hugs them back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka!” Aang shouts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're back!” Toph all but yells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We missed you so much!” Katara says, squeezing almost all the air out of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say something funny!” Aang bounces up and down on the balls of his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny how‌?” Sokka asks, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang and Katara both laugh loudly, Sokka has no clue why, they don’t usually laugh at his jokes and that wasn’t even one. Toph just smiles and crosses her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's their deal‌?” he asks Toph.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph shrugs nonchalantly. “I don't know. They missed you or something. I didn't care.“ She turns away, and Sokka pretends not to see her smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. That warms my heart.” He turns to all of them. “Anyway, I need some help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka quickly explains what he wants to do and the three of them agree so fast that it warms Sokka’s heart. It’s a lot of work to get it to Piandao’s castle but they do it together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka doesn’t even bother knocking one knocker, he bangs them both against the large door. Piandao opens one of the doors almost immediately and steps out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who's this‌?” he asks, gesturing to Sokka’s friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, these are my friends,” Sokka says quickly. “Just other good Fire Nation folks.” Nice, he totally believed that. They bow to Piandao and Piandao, who bows back. Sokka moves out of the way to show his master the meteorite. “Do you think we can make a sword out of a meteorite‌?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao lays a hand on the meteorite and examines it. “We'll make a sword unlike any other in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka works day and night at Piandao’s forge to make his sword. Hammering away and building the meteorite help him work out a lot of pent up frustrations. It gets his mind off things, more so than his excessive planning does because this time he’s not doing it only to ignore his feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he’s finally gotten the liquid ready, Piandao takes the cup with a pair of large tongs. He carefully positions the liquid space metal over a mold of a blade and pours it in. Piandao raises the hot blade and looks carefully at it, Sokka extremely excited being him. Piandao dips the blade in a trough of water. The blade makes the water bubble and boil as it hisses and cools, smoke rising up. Sokka watches in amazement as Piandao pulls the blade out and it’s a beautiful, shining, perfect black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is the most beautiful thing Sokka has ever seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka is seated in front of Piandao. Aang, Katara, and Toph sit behind Sokka while Fat stands behind Piandao, holding Sokka's sword. Sokka swallows nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Sokka, when you first arrived, you were so unsure. You even seemed down on yourself. But I saw something in you right away. I saw a heart as strong as a lion turtle, and twice as big. And as we trained, it wasn't your skills that impressed me.” Fat kneels to Piandao and gives him the sword. “No, it certainly wasn't your skills.” Sokka sighs quietly, head hung as he looks down in shame. “You showed something beyond that.” Piandao unsheathes the sword, showing its black blade. “Creativity, versatility, intelligence – these are the traits that define a great swordsman.” Piandao sheathes the sword. “And these are the traits that define you.” He kneels and presents the sword to Sokka. Sokka takes it, the gears in his brain winding as he tries not to squeeze his eyes shut. “You told me you didn't know if you were worthy, but I believe that you are more worthy than any man I have ever trained.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka holds the sword, his sword, in his hands and he can’t bear it. Everything Piandao said gave him great pride and happiness, but Piandao said it all under false truths. Sokka doesn’t want false truths. He doesn’t want to fall into a big lie like this. It’s one thing to lie about Aang being dead but it’s another to lie to someone he looks up to, someone who thinks proudly of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry, Master,” Sokka says, unable to look Piandao in the eyes. “You're wrong. I am not worthy. I'm not who you think I am. I'm not from the Fire Nation. I'm from the Southern Water Tribe. I lied so that I could learn swordsmanship from you. I'm sorry.” He offers his sword back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao quickly turns back around and swings his sword at Sokka. Sokka stands and avoids the attack, just barely. Sokka unsheathes his sword quickly, blocking a thrust from Piandao. Aang, Katara, and Toph who get up and go to help Sokka. Sokka raises his hand to stop them, he appreciates it, but no. Not today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, this is my fight, alone,” he says determinedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka and Piandao square off in the sword fighting ring. Aang, Katara, Toph, and Fat watch from the upper part of the main building. Piandao lunges forward and begins his attack. Sokka backs away quickly, panicked. Piandao strikes four times, Sokka blocks each one, taking deep breaths and letting the sword be a part of him. He attempts a strike of his own, but Piandao moves his head out of the way and stabs at Sokka, be sways back and avoids the attack (a part of him is disappointed and sad, he hadn’t expected Piandao to attack him. He hadn’t wanted Piandao to attack him. Had all those things his master had said been a lie?); Piandao sweeps his sword at Sokka's legs, and Sokka jumps over it, lunging at Piandao and thrusting his sword forward. Piandao deflects Sokka's blade and pushes him back. Sokka is knocked back several feet and slides over the ground, he flips himself backward and grabs a post of a small bridge to regain his balance. He tries not to let on how panicked and freaked he is feeling as he quickly climbs onto the post and leaps to the other one just as Piandao thrusts his sword at him. Piandao spins around and tries to slice Sokka's foot; Sokka jumps away quickly. He jumps to the other rail of the bridge as Piandao stabs at him again. Sokka jumps off the rail and rolls to the side. Piandao strikes again, but Sokka rolls under the blade. Spirits, Sokka is terrified. He blocks Piandao's next strike and runs to the left, jumping on to the railing again. Sokka leaps away to the end of the bridge, dodging as Piandao swings his sword at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent!” Piandao praises. “Using your superior agility against an older opponent. Smart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao charges at Sokka again and the fight is close. Sokka continues to evade most of Piandao’s attacks but he also continues to fail at striking at Piandao. Yet...Piandao keeps praising him? Complimenting him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka grunts, stumbling back into a tall stalk of bamboo. He looks up fearfully, strands of hair falling over his face. Piandao raises his sword and charges at Sokka. Sokka ducks Piandao's attack that slices through the bamboo just above his head. He turns to run off into the bamboo thicket, slicing through as many as he can. Sokka uses the bamboo sticks around him to stop Piandao from reach him but Piandao seems to know every move he’s going to use. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, use your surroundings. Make them fight for you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he certainly doesn’t want to be fighting right now so that’s preferable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, though, Sokka fails. He loses. Of course he does, he’s fighting a master swordsman (he is nothing, nothing compared to him).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao pushes Sokka's sword around in two circles and flings Sokka's sword out of his hands. Sokka watches his sword fly into the air and stab into the ground several feet away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Piandao has him cornered, his sword pointed at Sokka. Sokka’s friends rush over right away to protect him but Piandao...lowers his sword?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent work, Sokka,” Piandao tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka squints at him curiously as Piandao sheathes his sword in the most dramatic way possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I'm a little old to be fighting the Avatar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stares. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you know‌?” Aang asks, getting out of his bending stance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I've been around a while. You pick things up,” Piandao says, not explaining anything at all. “Of course, I knew from the beginning that Sokka was Water Tribe. You might want to think of a better Fire Nation cover name. Try ‘Li’. There's a million ‘Lis’.” Sokka’s heart gives a painful squeeze at that. He thinks of Zuko, of course, because he’s always thinking of Zuko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why would you agree to train someone from the Water Tribe‌?” Katara asks, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The way of the sword doesn't belong to any one nation. Knowledge of the arts belongs to us all.” Sokka thinks of Zuko telling him about each nations’ symbol and his best gives another painful squeeze. Piandao walks over and picks up Sokka’s sword, giving it to him. “Sokka, you must continue your training on your own. If you stay on this path, I know that one day you will become an even greater master than I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles, pride bursting in his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Fat yells when they’re leaving. “The Master wanted you to have this, as something to remember him by.” Fat hands him a small, brown bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka opens the bag curiously as they walk away. “It's a Pai Sho tile,” he says, looking at the tile that dropped in his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The White Lotus. Huh,” Aang says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does it mean‌?” Katara asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shrugs. “I have no idea.” Sokka dishes in his pocket as he remembers what he wanted to do. “Ooh, that reminds me! Toph, I thought you might like this since you've probably never had a chance to bend space earth before.” Sokka hands her a small piece of the meteorite that he saved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph takes the rock and starts to bend it into multiple shapes. “Sweet! Check this out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles, feeling whole and content as they walk down the trail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I don't think there's such a thing as ‘space earth’. If it's from space, then it's not really ‘earth’,” Katara points out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She has a point, of course, but Sokka isn’t telling her that. “Must you ruin everything‌?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't believe I missed you,” Katara says, shaking her head. Sokka elbows her and gets an elbow back, though they’re both smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the avatar and the firelord</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When Aang explains the story of Avatar Roku and Fire Lord Sozin to them, Sokka stares silently, pondering it (he doesn’t think about how Zuko betrayed him like that, he doesn’t. Zuko’s betrayal was nothing, it wasn’t important, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> important). He resists the urge to run his fingers over his burn, he wants to, so bad, but he cant – he shouldn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s like these people are born bad,” Toph says, shaking her head. Sokka’s chest tightens at those words. Zuko wasn’t – he wasn’t born bad. All of that in Ba Sing Se and –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang shakes his head. “No, that's wrong. I don't think that was the point of what Roku showed me at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> the point?” Sokka asks, shrugging, and feeling like he should contribute something to the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves anyone's capable of great good and great evil. Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation have to be treated like they're worth giving a chance,” Aang says. Everything Aang says </span>
  <em>
    <span>screams </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zuko in Sokka’s mind. None of them have talked about it since the explanation way back when but something in the way Katara is looking at Sokka makes him think she can feel what he’s thinking. “And I also think it was about friendships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?” Toph asks, sounding quiet and vulnerable. The side she shows so rarely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang takes her hand and smiles. “I don’t see why not.” Katara takes her other hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka puts a hand to his chin. “Well, scientifically speaking, there’s no way to prove that –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Sokka, just hold hands,” Katara interrupts, annoyed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka waits a moment before giving in and holding his sister’s hand, pretending it doesn’t give him as much comfort as it does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the runaway</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sighs, dangling his feet off the ledge while sitting next to Toph. “When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara? She had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.” He knows how much Mom dying hurt her, it hurt all of them, yet she was the one thing, the glue holding them together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I never thought about that,” Toph says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka is hit by a sudden wave of honesty. “I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before, but honestly? I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, Katara's been the one looking out for me. She's always been the one that's there. And now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara's is the only face I can picture.” Toph doesn't say anything. “And it’s – it’s fucked up. That’s so fucked up because my mom did so much for me and I can’t remember her too well? It’s insane. And it’s a lot of pressure to put on Katara as well, but it’s – it’s just what it is.” Sokka pauses. “She’s motherly, I know, but she does it for us. I feel bad for not remembering my mom that much but...every time I try it doesn’t work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The truth is sometimes Katara does act motherly, but that's not always a bad thing. She's compassionate and kind, and she actually cares about me.” Toph wipes away tears from her left eye, Sokka pretends not to see for her sake. “You know, the real me. That's more than my own mom.” Toph punches Sokka in the arm. “Don't ever tell her I said any of this!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka laughs, raising his arms up in surrender. “Hey, my lips are sealed.” Though he has a sneaking suspicion that the reason the water below them keeps rippling isn’t just because of some type of fish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the puppetmaster</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka holds his sister as she falls to her knees, crying. His own body is shaky and his movements are still jerky after the...bloodbending. Sokka doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to sleep alone again. He looks up at Aang and has a silent conversation with him. Aang understands and gives the two of them space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka knows what Katara is doing. She’s doing what she did when Mom died, she’s locking her emotions away in a tiny box and she’s going to do work and take up responsibility (Sokka doesn’t think about how he’s doing that after Zuko, how he did that after Yue).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kat,” he says gently, “I know that...emotions aren’t really our thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara looks up, the corners of her mouth twitching up a little, but it’s strained. “Yeah, I – I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sighs. “If you want to talk about this – or anything – I’m always here for you, okay? You don’t have to carry everything on your own.” He pauses. “And I’m sorry I ever let you do that. I’m your big brother. I should’ve helped you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Katara says, knowing what he means. “We were all a bit of a mess after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka holds her tighter. “Yeah, we were.” He pauses again. “This was – this was scary, Kat, I’m not going to lie. It shook me, and I know it shook you, too. Don’t hide all your emotions, please, I wanna help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara hugs him, burying her face in his neck. “I know.” She sniffs. “I love you,” she whispers, so quietly it’s hard to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” Sokka says, just as quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later when they’re still in town, and Katara is wandering off alone, taking some time to think, and Aang and Toph are buying some food, Sokka finds that giant field of fire lilies and drops down into it. He thinks of buying Zuko fire lilies as he curls himself up in the flowers, red surrounding him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka imagines his voice. Zuko’s words are like water and fire all at the same time; flowing and perfect and calm – yet hard and imperfect and stormy –, but still a transparent description of pain, like a vine that’s threaded with both flowers and thorns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thinks of Zuko, Yue, his dad, his mom, his grandmother, his sister, and his friends who are just like family. He’s scared, scared in a way he hasn’t been for a long time, and he curls into a ball and cries, fire lilies brushing his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>nightmares and daydreams</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka understands it, he really does. Aang is scared and worried, the invasion is in three days. Who wouldn’t worry about having to fight the Fire Lord in three days (Katara doesn’t seem to appreciate that when he mentions it to Aang, though)?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three days tick by and Sokka starts to think that maybe Aang has gone insane (Sokka’s therapist alter ego didn’t even help!). So when they make their little sheep bed for him, Sokka’s glad that Aang can finally sleep peacefully (even if he didn’t get any sleep for three days and he’s finally going to sleep </span>
  <em>
    <span>the night before the invasion</span>
  </em>
  <span>).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He, himself, tries his best to relax when he sleeps, but it doesn't work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he can fucking think about is Zuko and his stupid fucking beautifulness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the day of black sun, part one and two</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka ponders over all the maps in front of him intensely, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead, a little confused. He’s waiting for his dad and Bato to come back with all the reinforcements that Sokka asked them to bring (he’s debated on asking Dad to go to the North Pole and get reinforcements there but Sokka didn’t want to get them involved after the loss of Yue, and it would take Dad a long time to get there), and, to pass the time, he’s re-checking the route they'll all take to the Fire Nation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, maybe he is a little worried. What if Combustion Man comes back and derails them? Or Dad can’t locate everyone? Or literally anything happens to ruin this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara comes over and she hands him a cup of coffee (normally she would make tea but Sokka has...kind of lost his appetite for tea after Ba Sing Se), sitting down next to him and drinking from a similar cup. He’s actually glad to be planning this right now, he’s more glad to be in </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> clothes. As good as they looked in Fire Nation clothes, Sokka has missed his Water Tribe clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang jumps up and Momo lands on his arm. “Top of the morning, Momo!” he yells, far too cheerful if you ask Sokka.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara stands up, hands on her hips, smiling slightly. “Sounds like you slept well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like a baby moose-lion.” Aang takes on a fighting stance. “I’m ready to face the Fire Lord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph asks about Aang’s strategy and then Aang says some stuff about the Avatar State and chakras and whatnot, Sokka kind of tunes him out and goes back to his maps, taking a sip of his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara looks up, over the cliff. “Oh, no.” She turns to Sokka, looking worried. “Sokka, do you think the fog will delay the invasion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks up, following the direction of her gaze. He stands up and grins. “No. That </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> the invasion!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They rush down to the ships as Toph and Aang earthbend docks for them. Katara sprints over and hugs Dad, Sokka’ glad they made up before they left to find Aang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you able to locate everyone I told you to find?” Sokka asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad nods. “I did.” Dad looks back at the Foggy Swamp dudes. “But I’m a little worried, Sokka. Some of these men aren’t exactly the ‘warrior type’.” Sokka follows his gaze at the Swamp guys being...well, the Swamp guys and winces. Sokka reminds himself that they’re good waterbenders and that they’re necessary for the invasion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though it’s all a little chaotic, Haru has grown some ugly moustache, the Mechanic blows up some stuff, and The Boulder is...The Boulder, Sokka’s glad they’re all here. It reminds him that all their little journeys weren’t useless and they did help the people they met along the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His happiness sort of disappears when it comes to explaining the invasion plan to everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka gulps while clutching his maps, he feels his whole body shake as he stares at the people all sitting in front of him, and it’s hard to breathe. His normal confidence seems to vanish. Granted, there isn’t actually too many people but it feels like a thousand of them are all staring at him, waiting, waiting for him to fail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dad rests a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll do great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stands up, his knees shaking and threatening to give out. “Good morning everyone,” he says nervously and then yelps as he proceeds to fall on the stage. “Uhm...so, as you know, today, we're invading the Fire Nation! I mean I know you know that because otherwise why else would you be here?” He lets out a nervous laugh, trying to lighten the mood and not look into everyone’s judgy eyes. Especially his dad’s. “Uh, anyway.” His scrolls fall out of his shaking hands, and Sokka picks them up, embarrassed. He unravels them and puts them all on the board. “The Fire Lord's palace is here,” he points at the map, and then realizes it isn't the right map, he flips the chart several times until it’s the right map. “Uh nope, uh wait, uh wait, uh wait, it's here, and uh, there's an eclipse today and Aang's gonna fight the Fire Lord and the firebenders won't have any fire to use so that's good for us! And...um...I'm sorry let me start at the beginning.” Sokka stands up straight and starts speed-talking, unable to stop himself, his brain not working properly. He doesn't even know what he's saying. “Katara and I discovered Aang frozen in an iceberg, now I didn't like Aang at first but grew to love him over time, then we went to the Southern Air Temple where Aang used to live and then we met Suki, who's a Kyoshi warrior. She dressed me like a woman and then she kissed me, and then Aang's friend was a crazy old king and...and then Katara got Haru arrested, and then now he’s grown a moustache, which, if you look at him in the front row you can see it –”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Sokka,” Dad interrupts. “It's okay, why don't you take a break?” Sokka looks up at his dad, feeling small, and walks off the stage to sit next to his sister. “Let me just clarify a few points for everyone,” Dad says in a loud, confident voice. Sokka hangs his head, unable to watch. Today is the day of black sun, and I want to thank you all for your self-sacrifice, and your courage. There are two steps to the invasion, a naval stage, and then a land stage. To gain sea access to the Fire Nation capital, we need to get past our first major obstacle here. The Great Gates of Azulon. Next, we hit the land, and we hit hard. We must fight past their battlements and secure the plaza tower. Once we do that, it's up to the Royal Palace. At that point, the eclipse will begin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka can’t listen to the rest, he has it all memorized anyways. He knows these plans like the back of his hand, he knows everything about them. He’d planned it all, thought of almost everything. And he missed the one chance to prove himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks up, dismayed, as everyone cheers at his Dad. They all start preparing and Sokka puts on his Water Tribe armour but when he looks up at all the excited and upbeat warriors, he swallows and goes over to the cliff side where he likes to talk to Yue. But Yue isn’t here now. Sokka stares at the wolf helmet in his hands. Is he really worthy of it? He planned the whole invasion but he can’t speak in front of, like, a hundred people? He doesn’t deserve to wear a warrior’s helmet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka hears a soft whoosh and looks up to find Aang gliding up to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Aang says. “The boats are ready to leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I messed up, Aang,” Sokka says quietly, praying his words don’t come out as choked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The invasion plan was my moment of truth and I completely flubbed it,” he explains, a lump forming in his throat. Sokka looks up at the clear blue sky that’s brightening the whole world today. “I just...fell apart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang puts a hand on his shoulder. “Sokka, that speech wasn’t your moment of truth. That was just public speaking, and nobody’s really good at that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad is!” Sokka exclaims, disappointed in himself. “He explained the plan perfectly and inspired everyone, like a real leader should.” How can Sokka call himself the leader of “Team Avatar” if he can’t even explain a plan? How can he even hope to pull this off if this just happened?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, your moment of truth isn’t going to be in front of some map; it’s gonna be out there on the battlefield,” Aang tells him softly, with all the wiseness that a twelve year old shouldn’t have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem so confident about everything, how do you know we’re gonna win?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang looks at the sky, his gaze hard. “Because I already failed the world once at Ba Sing Se. I won’t let myself fail again.” Sokka can hear the unspoken words behind that sentence. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I won’t let myself fall again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka smiles at him and pulls him into a quick hug before going down to the docks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart pounds when they reach The Great Gates of Azulon and they have to use his invention. He’d thought it all out but he’s still scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The subs work, though, and Sokka feels pride burst in his chest as Dad says, “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I just came up with the idea. The mechanist did all the work,” Sokka says modestly, cheeks heating but still smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, this is it, huh?” Aang says to Sokka, Katara, and Toph when the subs have surfaced for a little while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready for the Fire Nation to know the Avatar is alive?” Sokka asks, holding his fist up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang hesitates for a moment before his eyes narrow fiercely. “I’m ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka grasps his forearm in Water Tribe fashion before they all hug. Sokka takes a breath as he holds on tight to his friends. His heart goes crazy at the idea of invading the Fire Lord’s palace, thoughts of Zuko flying everywhere. What if he sees him? What’s going to happen then?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you kick some serious Fire Lord butt, Twinkle Toes,” Toph says, closing her eyes and smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka heads back inside the sub with Toph when Dad comes up and tells them that their break is over. They wait a few minutes but Katara never comes. Sokka has a feeling he knows what she’s doing but he pokes his head up anyways. “Katara, what are you doing? It’s time to submerge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Right, I’m on it.” She jumps on Appa and waterbends a bubble around his head before diving down into the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They make it through the other gate and on their way to Royal Caldera City. Sokka sees the giant volcano in which the Fire Lord’s palace rests and tries hard not to see Zuko’s face. He can’t afford to be distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Water Tribe Warriors stand in a ready position inside the submarine. Sokka holds his shield with him, helmet on, and exhales. He’s easily the smallest out of all of them but he knows for a fact that he’s the smartest, and he’s been through just as much as they have. Sokka spots Toph’s tiny figure in armour with the other tall eartbenders as they get into their metal tanks. Seeing her looking small but strong gives him comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The subs rise from the water and onto the beaches. Missiles shoot at them but miss for the most part (who knew the Fire Nation had such terrible aim?). They come to a full stop and Sokka hears the metal tanks coming out from inside the subs; the Water Tribe warriors, Sokka among them, run out and charge, determined looks on their faces. Fire Nation tanks try to stop them but the swampbenders stop them. And then Huu shows up in his giant, weird, swamp monster thing. Sokka has to fight off a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Spirits-damn rhinos show up again (what is with the Fire Nation and rhinos?), and Sokka quickly disarms a rider before stealing its rhino. He spots a fireball coming towards Dad. “Dad, look out!” he shouts. Hakoda turns around and fights off the fireball with his shield. Dad disarms more soldiers and defeats others before jumping on the rhino with Sokka. The two of them see a tank destroyed by a battlement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, we’ve got to take out those battlements! It’s our only chance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka thinks for a moment before it comes to him. “I’ve got an idea,” he says determinedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka flags down Katara and he and Dad hop on Appa’s armoured back with her (Appa’s armour is pretty good if Sokka says so, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>made it), and they fly up to the battlements. Sokka holds on to one of Appa’s horns and leans off slightly, he draws his sword, slicing the end of a missile launcher off. Dad throws two bombs inside another one and two soldiers run out as it explodes. Katara freezes another. Sokka smiles slightly; point, Water Tribe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They jump off of Appa at two other battlements. “You two take out that battlement,” Dad orders. “I got this one. Watch each other’s backs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka cuts off the launcher and it falls off exploding just as Katara freezes the soldiers inside. Definitely badass of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Sokka hears his dad yell out in pain when he and Katara leave the battlement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad?” Katara asks worriedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad!” Sokka yells. He and Katara rush over and help Dad over to the edge of the battlefield. Katara tries to heal him the second he gets to the ground. But it’s practically no use, he’s too weak to fight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you heal him any faster?” Sokka asks impatiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing everything I can,” Katara says frantically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka looks around at the fight around them. He hears Aang’s voice in his mind, reassuring him. His gaze hardens. “I’ll do it,” he says confidently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No offense, Sokka, but you’re not exactly Mr Healing Hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka stands up. “No.” He pauses before looking up, gaze determined and confident. Foolishly, he thinks of Zuko, and his harsh, sharp edges that he let go of only around Sokka, as he says determinedly, “I’ll lead the invasion force.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be crazy, Sokka,” Katara says and Sokka pretends he isn’t just a little hurt even though he knows she didn’t mean it that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I am a little crazy, but the eclipse is about to start and we need to be up that volcano by the time it does,” Sokka says firmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can do this,” Dad says, smiling. “I’m proud of you, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still think you’re crazy,” Katara tells him, “but I’m proud of you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka nods, smiling slightly, and puts on his helmet before jumping on Appa and yelling, “Yip, yip!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He musters up all the courage and confidence he has and tells the invasion force what to do. To his amazement, they listen to him right away. Sokka beams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka steers a vehicle full of explosions into a wall; he jumps off right before it explodes. As the Fire Nation is pushed back, Bato yells, “Sokka, we’re on our way to victory!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up at the volcano with a solid look, his mouth pressed into a line, doubting that statement just a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>— ☽☼ —</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A secret bunker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A </span>
  <em>
    <span>secret </span>
  </em>
  <span>bunker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fucking hell, of course there’s a secret bunker. Sokka wonders idly if Zuko will be in there. If the palace is empty...won’t he be?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They enter the tunnel into a dark cavern, following Toph as she senses where everything is. Sokka would rather Katara be here with them (it just isn’t the same without her, the four of them should be together), but she has to stay with Dad. It’s a little disappointing that she has to be pushed to the side when she could do so much, but for Dad he understands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They run down tunnels, pass magma currents, lava floors, and more tunnels until they come across a Fire Nation man. All three of them prepare to attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man raises his arms up. “The Fire Lord’s chamber is that way, down the hall, to the left, and up the stairs, you can’t miss it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aang smiles. “Thanks!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka pulls out his timing device as they stand in front of large doors. They only have thirty seconds until the total eclipse. If the Fire Lord isn’t in there…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m ready,” Aang says. “I’m ready to face the Fire Lord.” He blasts the door down but they find – Azula?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you are alive after all,” Azula says in her condescending tone. She’s lying casually on a throne, as if it belongs to her. “I had a hunch that you survived. But it doesn’t matter. I’ve known about the invasion for months.” Then it hits him. She’d disguised herself as a Kyoshi Warrior and the Earth King must’ve told her. They’ve been so</span>
  <em>
    <span> stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If Azula is involved they won’t have the element of surprise on their side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is he? Where is the Fire Lord?” Aang asks, angry and shocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Azula rises from the throne. “You mean I’m not good enough for you?” She feigns hurt. “You’re hurting my feelings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop wasting our time and give us the information.” Sokka points his sword at her, furious. “You’re powerless right now, so you’re in no position to refuse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph clenches her fists. “And stick to the truth. I’ll be able to tell if you’re lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? I’m a pretty good liar.” Azula tilts her head, smirking slightly. “I am a four hundred foot tall purple platypus-bear with pink horns and silver wings.” She didn’t need to be so dramatic about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph pauses. “Okay, you’re good, I admit it.” She traps Azula in rocks. “But you ought to consider telling the truth anyway!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The earth around Azula crumbles and breaks. How –</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Azula brushes dust off herself. “When I left Ba Sing Se I brought home some souvenirs: Dai Li agents!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka fights the urge to groan when two Dai Li agents appear in the room. He thought they were done with the Dai Li. Their main focus is getting rid of the Dai Li and pinning Azula down. It sounds easy but the Dai Li continue to protect her using rocks and blocking them from pinning her down. It doesn’t help that Azula is crazily fast and flexible. Sokka tries to climb through a hole in a stone wall a Dai Li agent created but just as he’s about to Azula leaps over, smiling evilly at him, her face inches from him. Sokka’s eyes catch on her golden eyes, they’re just as beautiful as Zuko’s but Zuko’s have more warmth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nope. Unimportant right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them get rid of the Dai Li agents and chase after Azula. It hits Sokka then what she’s doing and he wants to kill himself for being so stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka calls after them, “Wait! Aang! Toph! Stop attacking! Don't you see what she's doing? She's just playing with us. She's not even trying to win this fight!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not true, I’m giving it my all,” Azula says calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just trying to keep us here and waste all our time!” Toph shouts angrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, right, I think your friend just said that, genius,” Azula replies sarcastically. “And since you can't see, I should tell you I'm rolling my eyes.” She then proceeds to do just that. It annoys the hell out of Sokka.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll roll your whole head.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s just baiting you again,” Sokka says, about to turn around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so what do we do, just ignore her?” Aang asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don't have a choice. We just have to get out of here and find the Fire Lord on our own somehow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a trap,” Azula tells them, voice cool. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ignore!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Sokka's your name, right?” Her voice is crafty, Sokka doesn’t trust it. “My favourite prisoner used to mention you all the time.” Sokka stops walking abruptly and casts Azula a suspicious glance. “She was convinced you were going to come rescue her. Of course you never came, and she gave up on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s eyes widen before he shuts them, squeezing them tight. He tells himself not to fall for it, but he can’t stop himself. Suki didn’t do anything wrong, she cares about them, she’s helped them all more than once. She’s helped him. Honestly, he should have seen it. How else did Azula get those uniforms in Ba Sing Se? Tears fall down Sokka’s face, he’d been “protecting” her at the Serpent’s Pass but he couldn’t protect her from Azula. Sokka can’t stop himself from charging at her stupid, smug face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toph pins Azula’s hand to the wall, and Sokka grabs her roughly by her shoulder. He narrows his eyes, tilting his head, teeth gritted, furious at her. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Where</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Suki</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” His voice isn’t up for debate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Azula doesn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Suki? Answer me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, she won’t talk,” Aang says, grabbing his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka ignores him. “Where are you keeping her?” Azula has gone too far this time. What had Suki done except be friends with the Avatar? Sokka still remembers Azula’s face in the catacombs at Ba Sing Se. He can’t bear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hear a commotion somewhere in another room. Azula grins widely and breaks free, taunting them. Sokka feels stupid and ashamed and so Spirits-damn annoyed. The three of them hurry back above ground to the invasion force. But they can’t all escape. Sokka can’t shake the feeling that it’s all his fault. He did this. It’s all he thinks about as he hugs his dad and leaves, watching him surrender. Watching the invasion force surrender. They failed.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>was this chapter just sokka missing zuko and reminiscing about him? yes, yes it was</p><p>was this chapter literally the hardest thing to write? yes, yes it was</p><p>what do y’all think about kataang and katoph??? like which one do y’all want me to maybe hint/put in the background: kataang or katoph? cause i very much like both and iono i’m kinda conflicted</p><p>for the sort of panic attack near the start that sokka has i tried my best to describe it the way they feel for me when i have panic attacks or when my anxiety is at its peak. pls tell me if it was a little unrealistic or if there was a way i could make it better. anyways i wrote that panic attack because i mean all of them have to go through war and there’s serious trauma there and sokka trusted zuko and having flashbacks to when zuko chased them and also all those times that he was with zuko happily now with the knowledge that zuko betrayed him could really damage someone. that's why i did it ig also cause i haven’t seen a lot of fics talking about sokka’s trauma</p><p>hope y’all enjoyed this really long chapter</p><p>next chapter features: zuko!!! yelling, and hurt sokka</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. i talk too much, we talk too much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 14</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the western air temple</p>
<p>hallo !! it's been a while ig?? i hate school with a passion pls send help, it is literally killing me</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Western Air Temple is beautiful. Stunning architecture and vines twisted around everything. It looks magical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka, of course, is one to appreciate good architecture but...he just doesn’t have it in him right now. He doesn’t really feel like himself. The invasion...the invasion was a mess. Dad getting hurt threw things off balance because he was supposed to lead the invasion, and Katara having to stay with him wasn’t good because she’s one of their best fighters. And then Azula...and Suki. It was a mess. How could Sokka think they’d ever be able to pull it off? They failed, and it seems like every time Sokka is reunited with his dad, something happens. The weight of their loss brings him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Haru, Teo, and The Duke run off to explore but Katara makes the rest of them stay. Sokka doesn’t really mind, he’s not in the mood for exploring to be honest. But, he also knows that he won’t just get to sit around and sulk and beat himself up the way he wants to. He knows what Katara wants to talk about. So, Sokka does what he always does. He hides his feelings. He hides his disappointment and shame. He hides it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to decide what we’re going to do now,” Katara tells Aang. “And since you’re the Avatar , maybe you should be a part of this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang sits down. “Fair enough. So, what’s the new plan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka thinks for a second, pushing his feelings down and locking them in The Box (the emotional one). He puts on a casual, normal Sokka face. “Well, if you ask me, the new plan is the old plan! You just need to master all four elements and confront the Fire Lord before the comet comes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. That’s great, no problem. I’ll just do that,” Aang says sarcastically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aang, no one said it’s going to be easy,” Katara says gently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it's not even gonna be possible!” Aang says. “Where am I supposed to get a firebending teacher?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could look for Jeong Jeong!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah...right.” Aang lays down on the bench he’s sitting on. “Like we’ll ever run into Jeong Jeong again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s something off about Aang, Sokka thinks. He jumps up and flies away with Momo right away when they’re silent for just a second. He’s neglecting it. Sokka gets it, kind of, but it would be nice if he was taking this seriously. They try to get him to think about firebending and whatnot but he just ignores them. Sokka understands it, he understands that Aang is twelve and he doesn’t want to worry about all his problems right now but Sokka would really like something to take his mind off the wallowing he wants to do now. He needs to make a schedule, or plan something, or –</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think that’ll have to wait,” Toph interjects seriously. She points behind herself but all they see is Appa. Appa moves and –</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka’s heart clenches and he feels his whole body tense when he sees Zuko (Zuko, Zuko, Zuko, </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zuko), standing in casual clothes with a small smile on his face. His hair is longer than before, it looks fluffy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But none of that is the point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka feels too many different emotions at the sight of Zuko, he can’t choose one. At a quick look at the others, he picks the one that’s blaring loudly in his mind. And Sokka glares fiercely at Zuko. His hand wanders up to the burn on his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello, Zuko here.” Zuko waves a little awkwardly (the awkwardness that Sokka hasn’t seen in </span>
  <em>
    <span>forever</span>
  </em>
  <span>).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of them get ready to attack. Sokka doesn’t know he feels with Zuko here. He hadn’t expected to see Zuko until...until, like, when the Fire Nation was defeated. This is...this is too soon, this is confusing. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurts</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It hurts so much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I heard you guys flying around down there, so, I just thought I'd wait for you here.” Appa growls at Zuko and then...licks him? Twice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Twice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What? Even Momo looks surprised. “I know you...must be surprised to see me here.” His eyes go straight to Sokka’s when he says it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka glares at him. “Not really, since you’ve followed us all over the world,” he retorts bitterly. He doesn’t mention their time in Ba Sing Se, he doesn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking down to the ground. “Right. Well, uh...anyway...what I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed, and I, uh, I'm good now, and well I think I should join your group, oh, and I can teach firebending to you.” The four of them stay silent, too shocked to even speak. “See, I, uh –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> now?” Toph asks incredulously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you?” Katara asks, glaring at him. “I mean, how stupid do you think we are?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“How stupid do you think I am?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Pretty stupid.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sokka agrees, “all you’ve ever done is hunt us down and try to capture Aang!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko’s eyes meet his and the message is clear: </span>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s not all I’ve done.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Sokka thinks bitterly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ve hurt us too. Hurt us in ways you can’t imagine. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I've done some good things! I mean, I could have stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I set him free. That's something!” Appa licks Zuko again and the look on Zuko’s face almost makes Sokka forget all his pain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Appa does seem to like him,” Toph points out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He probably just covered himself in honey or something so that Appa would lick him,” Sokka reasons. “I'm not buying it.” He can’t buy it. He thought he could trust Zuko once, he’s not making that mistake again. This isn’t – </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> is he here? Why did he come here just to confuse and hurt Sokka more?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can understand why you wouldn’t trust me, and I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past.” Gold connects with blue, and Sokka </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He just can’t. This is all – this is all too much. He can’t think about what happened with Zuko properly. After Ba Sing Se, Zuko was just a memory, a burnt, sad memory. Now he’s here...and Sokka doesn’t want to address it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like when you attacked our village?” Sokka says, eyes narrowing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or when you stole my mother’s necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?” Katara adds, voice hard. Sokka spares her a glance and sees the look she has on her face, he’s glad that she’s on his side, backing him up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, I admit I've done some awful things.” Sokka’s heart clenches and the room becomes hotter, he finds it hard to breathe. “I was wrong to try to capture you, and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should have sent that Fire Nation assassin after you.” Sokka’s eyes widen in shock. “I’m going to try and stop –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka whips out his boomerang angrily, fury blowing off of him like steam. “Wait, you sent Combustion Man after us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that’s not his name, but –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to insult your friend,” Sokka says sarcastically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not my friend!” denies Zuko angrily..</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Friend. Friend. The word that Sokka tried to pretend was what he and Zuko were. He hates it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The guy locked me and Katara in jail and tried to blow us all up!” Toph yells.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko turns to Aang. “Why aren’t you saying anything? You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And this. This hurts more than anything. Because at one point, <em>Sokka</em> was Zuko’s friend, and now Zuko isn’t going to acknowledge it? He’s going to turn to Aang about friendship? Sokka squeezes his eyes shut, trying to put his emotions back where they belong. They’re all overloading each other. It’s too much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Does Sokka want him to acknowledge it?)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang turns to look at them. Sokka shakes his head, not looking at Zuko even though he feels Zuko’s gaze on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang’s mouth presses into a firm line. “There’s no way we can trust you after everything you’ve done. We’ll never let you join us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to get out of here. Now,” Katara says, glaring at Zuko.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m trying to explain that I’m not that person anymore!” Zuko says, raising his voice just a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Either you leave, or we attack,” Sokka says firmly, raising his boomerang. He takes the smallest step forward, glaring at Zuko hardly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hurt flashes across Zuko’s face. He steps forward, arm raising just a little. “Sokka –” Sokka’s name falls from his lips, and Sokka stills. He’d forgotten how his name sounded coming from Zuko’s mouth. Sokka distinctly remembers Zuko blushing every time Sokka said his name; maybe Zuko saying his name has the same effect on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara blasts water at him. “Get out of here, and don't come back! And if we ever see you again – well, we'd better not see you again!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka watches Zuko walk away. He wanted this so why does it hurt to see him leave? Why does his heart squeeze at the sight of him leaving?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would he try to fool us like that?” Katara asks angrily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Obviously he wants to lead us into some kind of trap,” Sokka says, finally looking away from where Zuko has last been. He doesn’t trust this, doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to trust this, </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> trust this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is just like when we were in prison together at Ba Sing Se,” Katara explains. “He starts talking about his mother and making it seem like he's an actual human being with feelings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Isn’t that what happened between Sokka and Zuko too? Only more in depth and more personal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He wants you to trust and feel sorry for him so you let your guard down, then he strikes,” Sokka tells her but he’s more speaking to himself, thinking of Ba Sing Se.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara looks up at him. “The thing is, it worked. I did feel sorry for him. I felt like he was really confused and hurt, but obviously, when the time came, he made his choice, and we paid the price. We can't trust him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka knows exactly how she feels. Zuko – he –</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Didn’t Sokka do exactly that? Didn’t he let his guard down and become friends with him? Didn’t he –</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang interrupts Sokka’s horrible thought process and says that Zuko saved him once and the story makes Sokka’s heart clench but they can’t. They can’t trust him. They can’t afford to do that. It cost them once, it won’t cost them again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what was all that crazy stuff about setting Appa free? What a liar!” Katara says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph shrugs. “Actually he wasn’t lying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Zuko...Zuko never told him. Why wouldn’t he –</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hooray!” Sokka replies sarcastically. “In a lifetime of evil, at least he didn’t add animal cruelty to the list.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In a lifetime of evil...do you honestly believe that, Sokka? Was it evil when he hugged you? When he kissed you? When he danced with you? When he told you to stay and just sleep at the apartment? When he watched a play with you? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just saying, considering his messed up family and how he was raised, he could’ve turned out a lot worse.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that is </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what Sokka thought. That’s what he’d repeated to himself over and over to justify why he was going. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara glares at her. “You're right, Toph! Let's go find him and give him a medal. The ‘not as much of a jerk as you could have been’ award!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph crosses her arms tightly. “All I know is that while he was talking to us, he was sincere. Maybe you're all just letting your hurt feelings keep you from thinking clearly.” The comment feels directed at him because it totally is; it shoots right through Sokka and he feels a sting in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy for you to say!” Katara shouts. “You weren’t there when he attacked us by pirates!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or when he burned down Kyoshi Island!” Sokka adds, but he instantly regrets it. Talking about Kyoshi Island reminds him of Suki, and thinking about her reminds him of how he couldn’t save her, and that reminds him of the time he wasted at the invasion, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> reminds him of how he failed...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or when he tried to capture me at the Fire Temple!” Aang pipes in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would you even try to defend him?” Katara asks incredulously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because, Katara, you’re all ignoring one crucial fact,” Toph yells. She pokes Aang in the chest. “Aang needs a firebending teacher! We can't think of a single person in the world to do the job! Now one shows up on a silver platter, and you won't even think about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not having Zuko as my teacher,” Aang argues.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re darn right you’re not, buddy,” Sokka tells him. There’s no way that he’s going to fall back into the “Zuko sympathy” act.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I guess that settles that,” Katara says primly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph groans loudly. “I’m beginning to wonder who’s really the blind one around here!” Her words cut through him like glass as she walks away. Zuko couldn’t have changed. He couldn’t have. Sokka fell for it once, he won’t do it again. But...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. Nope. Not at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Has anyone seen Toph?” Katara asks when handing out breakfast the next day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen her since she stormed out yesterday,” Sokka says. He tries to sound nonchalant but worry files in before he can stop it. Toph is fine, she can protect herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Haru, The Duke, and Teo leave to “go look for her” but Sokka has a feeling they’re just going to go and play around the temple again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the second those three leave, Toph falls down a pile of rocks that she pushed through the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara runs over to her, Sokka and Aang right behind. “Toph! What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My feet got burned!” Toph says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, what happened?” Katara asks again, bending down to heal her feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just told you, my feet got burned!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I meant, how.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph looks away. “Well, I kind of went to see Zuko last night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You what?” Aang questions in disbelief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Zuko?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka can’t muster up the courage to say anything at all, and settles for an, “Uh,” but it doesn’t sound real at all. Zuko...burned Toph’s feet?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph winces slightly as Katara starts healing her feet. “I thought he could be helpful to us. And if I talked to him, maybe we could work something out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, he attacked you?” Sokka asks, hoping his voice isn’t strained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, he did and he didn’t. It was sort of an accident.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But he did firebend at you?” Aang asks for confirmation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toph sighs. “Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? You trusted Zuko, and you got burned. Literally!” Sokka pretends not to notice the way Katara looks at him when he says it. It’s like she knows exactly how he’s feeling right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's gonna take a while for your feet to get better,” Katara tells Toph. “I wish I could have worked on them sooner.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too,” says Toph.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka’s plan is...stupid. If he didn’t have these stupid feelings and emotions right now, he could think of a better plan. And he doesn’t even want to have Zuko as a prisoner. He was fine pretending that he was fine and pretending that none of the Zuko stuff had happened. Sokka had seriously considered just doing that forever, but of course Zuko had to come here and ruin things. Of freaking course. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a loud boom and a familiar type of fire is shot somewhere at the temple. It’s a near miss, and Sokka and Aang scramble to get Toph. And then he hears him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop!” Sokka looks up to see Zuko standing next to Combustion Man, hair blowing slightly in the wind. “I don’t want you hunting the Avatar anymore!” Zuko shouts as Sokka carries Toph away. “The mission is off, I’m ordering you to stop.” Combustion Man just shoves him away (honestly it is kind of funny how easy it was for him to shove Zuko away), but Zuko is persistent. “If you keep attacking, I won’t pay you!” Combustion Man ignores this. Zuko’s voice falters, “All right, I’ll pay you double to stop!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko kicks Combustion Man when he’s just about to fire and his shot goes haywire. Combustion Man attempts to shoot at Zuko, Zuko tries to create a fire wall to stop but he’s pushed off the ledge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka’s heart drops as Zuko disappears out of sight. He wants to rush over and yell, “No!” He wants to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not stand here with Toph in his arms while Zuko </span>
  <em>
    <span>falls</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There’s no way he’ll make it. Sokka stares, frozen, unable to move, as Combustion Man gets ready to shoot again. And then – then he sees him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko climbs up on a vine, his longer hair blowing away in the wind. He climbs up with the strength and beauty of a knight, of a prince, of a hero. Sokka wants to breathe a sigh of relief that he’s not dead; the knot in his stomach loosens and he can feel how the tension seeps out of him a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, no. No it isn’t right. Why can’t Zuko stay away?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing any of them try against Combustion Man stops him, he just keeps firing. Sokka wonders if he could even stop if he wanted to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s going to blast this whole place right off the cliff side!” Toph yells over the commotion as they hide behind a wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can't step out to waterbend at him without being blown up and I can't get a good enough angle on him from down here,” Katara shouts back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka pauses for a moment, looking around. He grins, an idea coming to him. “I know how to get an angle on him.” Sokka takes out his boomerang and sneaks his head out but has to hide again. He looks around, calculating the angle to hit Combustion Man’s third eye. It would be easier if Sokka could actually get a proper look on him, but he’ll take what he can get. “All right buddy, don’t fail me now,” he whispers to his boomerang before angling it right and throwing it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka peaks his head out and sees his boomerang hit the third eye on Combustion Man’s forehead before flying back to him. Sokka jumps up and catches it before he realizes that Combustion Man has gotten up again. Seriously?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But – Combustion Man can’t aim properly and he ends up shooting the building he’s standing on and falling off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Holy shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka watches Zuko climb a plant root (still alive, thank the Spirits) and then watches as he goes over to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Aang says, “but...thanks, Zuko.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka glares at Zuko, not saying anything. Zuko didn't even do anything, it was Sokka who stopped Combustion Man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko sighs quietly. “Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well yesterday, I've been through a lot in the last few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honour, and that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honour. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right. All I want to do now is play my part in ending this war, and I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world.” He turns to Toph. “I'm sorry for what I did to you.” And then he bows to her like the drama queen he is. “It was an accident. Fire can be dangerous and wild, so as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending, so I don't hurt people unintentionally.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka stares at him, feeling his throat tighten as his heart squeeze. This is...exactly what Sokka had wanted Zuko to do back in Ba Sing Se. He should feel relieved, happy. Yet, he feels disappointed, still betrayed. Why? Why?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows, though, he knows why. He’d wanted Zuko to change for him, he’d wanted it to happen with him. It’s like Sokka didn’t help at all, like he did nothing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang looks at Zuko, shocked. “I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher. When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara, and after that, I never wanted to firebend again. But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love. I'd like you to teach me.” Aang bows to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko bows back. “Thank you, I’m so happy you’ve accepted me into your group.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang holds up a hand. “Not so fast. I still have to ask my friends if it's okay with them. Toph, you're the one that Zuko burned. What do you think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go ahead and let him join,” Toph says nonchalantly, pounding her palm into her fist. “It’ll give me plenty of time to get back at him for burning my feet,” she jokes but the look on Zuko’s face says he doesn't see it that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sokka?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka shrugs, not looking at Zuko even though he can feel Zuko’s eyes staring at him. “Hey, all I want to do is defeat the Fire Lord. If you think this is the way to do it...after everything...just do what you want. I – I don’t care.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Katara?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara glares at Zuko. “I'll go along with whatever you think is right.” Aang smiles happily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t let you down!” Zuko says eagerly. “I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka ignores this, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He picks up Toph and starts to leave with Aang and Katara.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sokka?” Zuko says behind him, grabbing his hand. His hand is warm, and so familiar, Sokka has every inch memorized. The callouses, the small scar under one of his fingers, the lines, his short nails.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka stops in his tracks. No, he’s not going to turn around, he’s not going to turn around, he’s not going to turn around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka turns around, still holding Toph.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko looks down. “Um, can I – can I –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang and Katara come over and Sokka clenches his jaw. “You guys go.” He hands them Toph but they still look doubtful. “I’ll be fine, I won’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Sokka watches the three of them leave, Aang and Katara carrying Toph together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Sokka asks harshly, snatching his hand away from Zuko’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko stutters, “I – I – I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then you can leave, or you can let me leave,” he says, turning away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sokka, I –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You? You what, Zuko?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I – I’m sorry. I didn’t – in Ba Sing Se – well –” Zuko stumbles through his words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Save it,” Sokka says flatly. “I don’t want you to try and – and explain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m trying to apologize!” Zuko says, slightly defensive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka glares at the floor. “Well I don’t want you to apologize, I don’t think anything will make it better. I don’t want an explanation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s all you wanted back in Ba Sing Se,” Zuko mutters. “An explanation.”</span>
</p>
<p><span>“You thought – Zuko, I wanted you to </span><em><span>trust</span></em><span> me!” Sokka yells, suddenly more angry than sad and disappointed. “I wanted you to </span><em><span>tell</span></em> <em><span>me</span></em><span> things; I wanted – I wanted you to tell me what you were feeling; I wanted you to tell me all your doubts; I wanted to help you! Why do you think I kept coming back? It stopped being about finding information forever ago! You </span><em><span>never</span></em><span> let me in! I wanted so bad to understand you, to understand what you were feeling. I wanted to </span><em><span>help</span></em><span>!” Sokka clenches his fists, his whole body shaking. “Just,” he starts, voice quivering, “just forget it. Leave me alone.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“You think I never let you in?” Zuko asks, his voice full of disbelief. “Sokka, I told you things that I had never told anyone else. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> else. I told you so many things, Sokka.” His voice isn’t angry, it’s more sad and disappointed (the exact opposite of Sokka’s feelings right now). But he doesn’t sound disappointed in Sokka, he sounds disappointed in himself. It makes Sokka look up at him. His anger seems to vanish, his shoulder hunching. And he looks at those gold eyes and he’s just – he’s not ready yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just – leave me alone, Zuko,” he says quietly, voice breaking on the last word. Zuko doesn’t move. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Zuko. Please just leave.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the record, Sokka, I am sorry. I am,” Zuko says and he means it. Sokka looks down, hearing Zuko’s footsteps fade as he leaves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He plops down on the ground, putting his head in his knees, and tries his hardest not to cry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hates crying, it makes him feel weak and stupid, and it's gross and annoying. Yet...he can't stop the tears from slipping down his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>—☽☼ —</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka stares at Aang, Katara, and Toph all sitting in a circle, almost like they’re waiting for him because of the way they look straight into his eyes (except Toph, she’s looking slightly to his left). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this an interrogation?” Sokka asks, raising his eyebrows. “Or an intervention?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara crosses her arms. “It’s about Zuko,” she says tersely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Great. Sokka really should have expected this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk about what happened in Ba Sing Se, okay?” Sokka drops down into a seat in front of them, slouching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It isn’t about Ba Sing Se,” Aang hurried to correct. “Just...well, we think you should...show Zuko to his room.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Show Zuko to his room?” Sokka repeats slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka raises his eyebrows. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s just sitting outside, it’s kind of embarrassing,” Toph says flatly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And why can’t any of you guys do it?” Sokka asks, crossing his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t walk, stupid.” Toph glares at him (or to his left, technically).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But the rest of you can, why can’t you do it? Aang, you know the temple the best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara glares at him, but Sokka isn’t buying any of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look,” she says, “we heard you two yelling at each other and –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We weren’t yelling.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“– </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> we think that it would make the most sense  if you went to show Zuko to his room.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> showing Zuko to his room,” Sokka spits out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I don’t want to,” he says bluntly. “I don’t want to see him any more than I have to; I want nothing to do with him, in fact.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I think you should. You don’t really have a choice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am not going to –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Katara, Sokka,” Aang intervenes gently, laying a hand on Katara’s shoulder before turning to look at Sokka. “Look, Sokka, we think it’s best if you two talk to each other. You need to sort things out. If –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sort things out?” Sokka repeats indignantly. “We –”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“– if Zuko is going to be my firebending teacher, you two can’t have this baggage,” Aang continues, ignoring Sokka’s interruption. “You guys were friends once, you maybe still are friends. I think you just need to take some time to speak to each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anger flares up in Sokka and he stands up roughly. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> is not my friend,” Sokka hisses. “You guys don’t want to show him to his room, fine. I’ll show Prince Zuko to his stupid room, but I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> talking to him, I’m not ‘sorting things out’. I don’t want to.” He turns and leaves without another word, instantly regretting his harsh tone. Aang, Katara, and Toph didn’t do anything wrong (they weren’t the ones that went and befriended Zuko in Ba Sing Se). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko being here ruins everything Sokka has tried to do in the time between Ba Sing Se and now. Sokka doesn’t know how to feel about him here. It hurts, it really hurts. To see him come here, after betraying Sokka, and do the one thing Sokka wanted. Aang had said that word. Friend. Sokka had realized a long time again that “friend” didn’t really fit he weird relationship they had and it never felt right to him, now he’d give anything to forget all that and become Zuko’s friend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Or would he? Would he really? Does he want to be Zuko’s friend again after Zuko betrayed him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka groans, this is all too confusing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sokka?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka looks up, cheeks heating, he hadn’t realized he’d already gotten to where Zuko was sitting alone. Zuko looks up at him, posture straightening, his deep red clothes a contrast to the cream and the green vines of the ruins of a temple around him. His face is hopeful, albeit slightly scared, and yet he still looks beautiful. One wide gold eye (deep, bright gold, amber gold, beautiful gold) and the other narrowed; his scar stands out against his pale skin, making his face look even prettier; his lips are chapped and red, like he’s been biting them in worry or stress. Zuko looks regal, even in this state (with his messy hair and dry lips), he looks like a painting. Sokka had almost forgotten how pretty he is. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka clears his throat, face hot, uncomfortable aware of how he was probably staring for a long time. “I’m – uh, I’m supposed to show you to your room. The one that you’ll stay in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Spirits, Sokka, you sound so stupid.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zuko stands up, a little eagerly. “Okay. O – okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka leads him to a room inside the temple. “So, here you go,” he says bluntly. Zuko glances back and smiles slightly at him. Sokka’s brain completely empties at the sight of that small smile. It’s tiny, like a secret, and he wants to take it and keep it in his pocket forever (<em>no, stop it, Sokka</em>). He walks out of the room, glancing back for a second, a small smile gracing his lips before he catches sight of Aang. “This is – uh – this is weird.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aang shrugs. “I thought it would be less weird for you, seeing as you hung out with him all that time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well that was before he got you shot by lightning and he left to join Azula,” Sokka says pointedly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still, it was after he attacked us multiple times,” Aang points out. “You guys were friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what we were,” Sokka confesses quietly, starting to walk away with Aang but he sees his sister enter Zuko’s room and his steps falter. Sokka looks back at Aang before going to see what his sister is going to do to Zuko.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Katara approaches Zuko angrily. “You might have everyone else here buying your...transformation, but you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past – back in the catacombs with me, or what you put my brother through, making him trust you and then stabbing him in the back. He wasn’t the same after that. So let me tell you something, right now. You make one step backward, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang – or Sokka –, and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I'll make sure your destiny ends...right then and there. Permanently.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sokka hurries and leaves before Katara can see him, a weird feeling in his stomach, but he still catches the disappointed and sad look on Zuko's face. It makes him feel something, something different.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aangst</p>
<p>next chapter features: a lot of thinking, ✨remembering✨, awkwardness</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. you know my type</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 15</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the firebending masters</p><p>decided i'm changing the update days to friday and sunday because mondays don't really work for me!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Having Zuko in the temple is...a problem. It really doesn’t work for Sokka. </p><p>First off, it is incredibly awkward. Zuko is always silent at mealtimes and he sits far away from everyone else, only engaging in conversation when it’s fully directed at him, and Katara is always glaring daggers at him. Second of all, he wakes up super early so nobody ever sees him and he’s already finished breakfast when they all wake up. Thirdly, they’ve bumped into each other several times and it is horrible. They both always stammer and flush and try to move away, only to move the same way and get stuck in some weird...thing. Plus, Sokka still doesn’t know how to <em> feel </em> with him here. It still stings, still hurts.</p><p>He desperately wants to know what happened in the Fire Nation with Zuko; he needs to know what made Zuko change his mind. Was it Sokka? Did he help at all? And <em> why </em> is Sokka feeling like this? He has too many emotions and they all keep...mixing together. It’s confusing.</p><p>Sokka does the only thing he can, he pretends he’s not hurt. Katara can see through it and so can Toph, Aang can kind of as well (Zuko should be able to, he should). Sokka jokes around and tries to pretend that he’s okay with Zuko being here. He tries to act like himself (and maybe, just maybe, he does it to see if he’ll be able to see the Zuko he was friends with at Ba Sing Se).</p><p>Sokka tries his hardest to keep a fake smile on for the rest of the day, but it’s hard. Zuko...Zuko just doesn’t seem the same. He’s back to being the Zuko that Sokka was annoyed at in Ba Sing Se, the Zuko who wouldn’t open up to him. They’re right back to square one. </p><p>—☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka talks to Toph animatedly at dinner, avoiding Katara’s gaze (it’s like she knows, she knows that Sokka isn’t doing well right now, it’s like she knows everything). Sokka spends most of his time talking to Toph, actually. She doesn’t mention how he doesn’t seem himself, or how his jokes aren’t the same. She talks to him and doesn’t talk about Zuko; for that, Sokka is grateful. </p><p>Zuko, who had been standing away from everybody, comes up and looks down dejectedly. “Listen, everybody, I’ve got some pretty bad news. I’ve lost my stuff.”</p><p>“Don’t look at me,” Toph says quickly, “I didn’t touch your stuff.”</p><p>Sokka fights off a snort. </p><p>“I’m talking about my firebending,” Zuko explains. “It’s gone.”</p><p>Everybody falls silent (Sokka swears he hears sparrow-crickets chirping) and they all stare at Zuko who looks mildly uncomfortable. The silence is broken by Katara who gives a tinkling, slightly mocking laugh. Zuko looks at her with an annoyed expression on his face.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Katara says sweetly. “I’m just laughing at the irony. You know, how it would’ve been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago.”</p><p>Sokka winces, she’s got him there.</p><p>Zuko shifts his gaze away awkwardly. “Well, it’s not lost. It’s just...weaker for some reason.” </p><p>
  <em> “It’s a part of me. The fire. It’s alive.” </em>
</p><p>The fire can’t be lost. <em> Zuko’s </em> fire can’t be <em> lost </em>.</p><p>“Maybe you’re not as good as you think you are,” Katara says spitefully.</p><p>Sokka winces next to Toph as she says, “Ouch,” with a sarcastic smile.</p><p>“I bet it’s because I changed sides,” Zuko says.</p><p>“That’s ridiculous,” Katara counters, sipping from her bowl.</p><p>Aang looks deep in thought. “I don’t know. Maybe it isn't. Maybe your firebending comes from rage and you just don't have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to.”</p><p>It sounds pretty smart.</p><p>Sokka leans toward Zuko. “So, all we need to do is make Zuko angry,” he snaps. “ Should be easy enough, he gets angry over a lot of things.”</p><p>Zuko looks at him, disappointed, and then he rubs his nose. “Look, even if you’re right, I don’t want to rely on hate and anger anymore. There has to be another way.”</p><p>If <em> now </em> is the time that Zuko doesn’t want to rely on hate and anger, what was he doing with Sokka?</p><p>“You're gonna need to learn to draw your firebending from a different source. I recommend the original source,” Toph says, sounding far too wise.</p><p>“How’s he supposed to do that? By jumping in a volcano?” Sokka asks jokingly, though, he’s more <em> suggesting </em> jumping into a volcano. He certainly wants to do it right now.</p><p>“No. Zuko needs to go back to whatever the original source of firebending is.”</p><p>“Sooo, <em> is </em> it jumping into a volcano?” Sokka asks seriously. </p><p>Toph shrugs. “I don’t know.” She places down her bowl. “For earthbending, the original benders were badgermoles.</p><p>“One day, when I was little, I ran away and hid in a cave.” Sokka imagines a little Toph, dressed in fancy clothes and ruining them in the dirt of a cave. He smiles slightly. “That’s where I met them. They were blind, just like me. So we understood each other. I was able to learn earthbending, not just as a martial art, but as an extension of my senses. For them, the original earthbenders, it wasn’t but about fighting. It was their way of interacting with the world,” Toph finishes, a small smile on her face.</p><p>“That’s amazing, Toph!” Aang exclaims. “I learned from the monks, but the original airbenders were sky bison.” Everyone follows Aang’s gaze up to where a mural is painted above them of three sky bison. Aang leans back and looks at Appa. “Maybe you can give me a lesson sometime, buddy.” Appa growls in response.</p><p>Zuko sighs. “Well, this doesn’t help me. The original firebenders were dragons, and they’re extinct.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Aang asks innocently. “Roku had a dragon, and there were plenty of dragons when I was a kid.” </p><p>“Well, they aren’t around anymore, okay!” Zuko snaps; but Sokka knows what he means. The Fire Nation hunted down all the dragons years ago.</p><p>Aang raises his arms up in defense. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“But maybe there’s another way,” Zuko says, deep in thought as he walks towards the fountain. “The first people to learn from the dragons were the ancient Sun Warriors.”</p><p>Aang follows him. “Sun Warriors? Well, I know they weren’t around when I was a kid.”</p><p>“No, they died off thousands of years ago. But their civilization wasn't too far from where we are now. Maybe we can learn something by poking around their ruins.”</p><p>“It's like the monks used to tell me,” Aang says. “Sometimes, the shadows of the past can be felt by the present.”</p><p>Dramatic much?</p><p>“So, what?” Sokka asks in disbelief. Aang and Zuko turn to look at him, Sokka directs his gaze straight to Aang, unable to look at Zuko for too long. “Maybe you’ll pick up some weird Sun Warrior energy just by standing,” he makes a hand motion to convey his confusion and disbelief, “where they stood a thousand years ago?”</p><p>“More or less,” Zuko says, drawing Sokka’s attention. “Either I find a new way to firebend, or the Avatar has to find a new teacher.” Great, even more dramatic.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka does a lot of thinking while Aang and Zuko are gone. </p><p>It’s actually...freeing to not have Zuko at the temple. He doesn’t have to worry about accidentally bumping into him or looking over and locking eyes with him. It gives him lots of time to think. </p><p>And that is exactly what he does.</p><p>More like he accidentally remembers too much of the shit that he was trying to hide and is suddenly overwhelmed with all the memories of Zuko and would like to die or maybe hug Zuko because for someone who is touch-starved, he is very good at giving hugs (Sokka doesn’t voice any of these thoughts out loud, he shudders to think about what would happen if he did). But, anyways; Sokka wanders around the temple, trying to find an escape from the loudness Haru, Teo, and The Duke make and an escape from Katara’s weird glances. </p><p>The Western Air Temple <em> is </em> really nice, Sokka’s always been a fan of ruins, and the Western Air Temple really fits that category. What is left stands in spite of itself, defying gravity in its precarious way. Vines wrap around the tall, pearly, ivory buildings and pagodas. Everything has little cracks and moss on it, The old, ancient buildings give Sokka a sense of peace; which is a little insane because there are scorch marks in places because of the firebenders, and since when have firebenders given Sokka peace (since him, since <em> him </em>)? It’s chilly – just a little, not in a way that bothers Sokka –, the cool air blowing Sokka’s wolf-tail slightly. Sokka thinks he might hear the chirping of birds from the towers. </p><p>
  <em> "I don't trust you," Zuko snapped. "I'm going to find out what you want and why you're here with me and my uncle." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I'm here for the Avatar," Sokka deadpanned. "I need to capture him to restore my honour." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Zuko flushed all the way down to his neck. "That isn't a joke! Stop it. I don't trust this or you one bit." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Look, man, Zuko, Prince Zuko or whatevs, I'm not ratting you out if you give me the information I want." He crossed his arms. "It's quite simple." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Zuko moved closer, his breath ghosting over Sokka's skin, and pointed a finger at Sokka's chest. "I will figure this out. I'm not giving in." </em>
</p><p>He finds a secluded area after climbing up winding, off-white stairs. It’s covered in moss, and all the other sounds around him seem to be muffled. Sokka lies down on the floor, channeling his inner dramaticness (no, it <em> doesn’t </em> remind him of sitting in weird positions in Zuko’s apartment – except it does; it does, and it soothes him, it makes him feel a little better). He can hear little noises, all quiet and faint, like they aren’t even there. Sokka isn’t too sure what he’s doing right now, he isn’t sure if this is moping or mooning or one of those things that he definitely has never wanted to do (but he’s done it before and it’s inevitable that he’ll do it again). Maybe he just wants to stop <em> caring </em>, he just doesn’t want all of this drama and confusion. Maybe he wants to stop feeling.</p><p>
  <em> Zuko placed his head in Sokka's lap, talking animatedly with his hands. Sokka didn't hear what he was saying, his mind blanked completely when Zuko had lied down on the roof and put his head in Sokka's lap. He studied Zuko's face, the shadows that the sun cast upon him and the way his eyes glowed so bright it was impossible to look directly at them. Sokka swung his legs back and forth over the edge of the building, feeling the swarming come back and flutter in his stomach. </em>
</p><p>Sokka’s mind wanders to those days he spent with Zuko, those times he dragged Zuko out and they walked around the Lower Ring, or those times they holed themselves up in Zuko’s too small room, with too little space between them. He understands, maybe, why Zuko had to go back. Sokka doesn’t know what it would have been like if Zuko <em> hadn’t </em> betrayed him (could he call it betraying? Zuko never owed him anything, did he?). None of that stops it from hurting, though. He just wants a sign, <em> proof </em> that it happened. That Ba Sing Se wasn’t just a figment of Sokka's imagination. He knows that Zuko was working towards finding his path for a long time, and he knows that he wasn’t the reason it happened. But did he help? Was he there in Zuko’s mind? Was he at all? Did Zuko think of him in the Fire Nation; the way Sokka spent every moment remembering those golden eyes in that month? It might hurt less if Zuko could acknowledge it (but is it fair? Is it fair for Sokka to think something like that when he himself won’t acknowledge it with anyone but himself?). Did Zuko have to hurt him that way, though? Was it worth it to hurt Sokka that way if he joined them? It must be, it has to be. Zuko wouldn’t hurt Sokka for no reason (right?).</p><p>
  <em> "Sokka, swop it," Zuko said angrily, voice muffled because of Sokka squishing his cheeks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sokka grinned, cocking an eyebrow. "No, I don't think I will." He placed both hands on either side of Zuko's face to punctuate the statement and sguished his cheeks more. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Pwease swop." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sokka threw his head back and laughed, ruffling Zuko's hair. </em>
</p><p>Maybe Zuko needed to go, just like Sokka needed to feel that pain (Sokka doesn’t think he’d be able to go through the pain of losing the invasion – losing his dad – without having gone through whatever he went through when Zuko left him).</p><p>
  <em> Sokka put his arms on top of Zuko's head, purely to annoy him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Do you just enjoy bothering me?" Zuko asked, looking up at Sokka with annoyance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sokka shrugged. "Yeah, bud, I do." </em>
</p><p>Sokka lets the cool breeze of the wind blow his hair and flutter his eyelashes. He must look really stupid right now; his hair is definitely a mess; and he’s just lying on the cold, cracked, scorched floor, his arms and legs spread out like a starfish-trout. The thought makes him laugh slightly.</p><p>He presses his cheek and ear to the cool floor and concentrates on the noises he can hear. It’s interesting, all the little sounds he can hear. Sokka thinks he might hear water flowing somewhere and he wonders if there’s a stream close by. He pushes himself up and listens attentively, trying to hear the flowing water. It’s coming from somewhere to his left and he goes to follow the sound.</p><p>
  <em> "Hold out your hand like you're giving a high five," Sokka instructed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Why?" Zuko asked, but still held out his hand, fingers open. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Because," Sokka said, putting his hand against Zuko's, "I want to see whose hands are bigger." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Zuko's hand was warm, his fingers almost the exact same size as Sokka's, just slightly bigger. Sokka grinned, looking down at their hands. Then, just to see Zuko's reaction (and maybe just to see what it would feel like), Sokka interlocked their fingers. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He looked up at Zuko who was staring at their hands now, his face was red as were the tips of his ears. Zuko caught him staring and flushed even more red, putting his hand down but realizing that their fingers were interlocked and he can't let go. Sokka started to laugh, much to Zuko's dismay. </em>
</p><p>Sokka finds a fountain, just like the one in the main area. The water is somehow still a clear blue; Sokka wonders if someone has been taking care of it (it’s probably Katara, she could easily bend the murky stuff out, but Sokka’s mind conjures a picture of Zuko – who is barely ever with them – taking the time to clean the water). He sits on the ledge, dipping his fingers in the water. The water is cold and relaxing, it spreads through him, starting at his fingertips. Sokka drags his finger around in the water. He remembers Zuko telling him about the turtleduck pond in the Fire Nation and he wonders if he’ll ever get to see it. He probably won’t but it’s nice to wonder what could be. </p><p>Sokka moves away from the fountain and turns to admiring the architecture. He’d done a pretty good job on building Appa’s armour, but something like this...that’s the dream. Sokka could only ever hope to design and build something so beautiful and enchanting. The airbenders deserve some credit for the way they build their temples; Sokka has been to three out of four and each have had amazing architecture.</p><p>Eventually, Katara enters Sokka’s little space, shattering the glass of the protective dome he’s in and effectively ruining his peace. Sokka is reluctant to leave the secluded corner that helped him somehow, but he follows her anyway, tuning out her lecture about how he should’ve told them he was going off to “explore”.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“It was amazing!” Aang exclaims, a grin on his face. “There are real dragons, dragons that are still alive!”</p><p>Zuko looks at Aang with slight fondness. “And then we were standing back to back, and they encased us in rainbow fire. There were colours everywhere, colours I never knew fire could be.” His eyes go straight to Sokka’s, a ghost of a sad smile on his face. “It was beautiful.”</p><p>Sokka thinks of everything that happened in the past month after Ba Sing Se, and everything he’d thought about and worried about, and all the things he’d mulled over while lying on the floor; his eyes soften and, after everything, he dares to smile back.</p><p>Zuko looks a little shocked, but then he pinks and looks down.</p><p>Aang tugs on Zuko’s arm. “Come on, we have to show them what we did to get Ran and Shaw to think we’re worthy.”</p><p>Zuko looks back at Sokka, his face flaming red now. “Now?” He looks embarrassed and then whispers to Aang, “In front of everyone?” but Sokka catches his words. He fights off a laugh.</p><p>“Yes,” Aang says, pulling Zuko backward before nudging him and getting into some sort of dance position. Zuko does the same thing and that makes Sokka’s eyes go straight to him, his thoughts instantly drifting to them dancing in the rain. Sokka watches as Aang and Zuko do some sort of dance move; it looks cool, actually, Sokka stares mostly at how Zuko does the moves.</p><p>
  <em> “Neither of us even know how to dance!” </em>
</p><p>It seems <em> Zuko </em> was holding out on him.</p><p>Sokka feels a wide smile spread on his face when Zuko and Aang finish their dance (Sokka tries his best not to let his eyes stray at Zuko’s muscled arms or the way his longer hair blows in the wind or the way –). Sokka claps with the rest of the group, grinning. “Yeah, that’s a great dance you two learned there.”</p><p>Zuko’s eye widens in disappointment and maybe anger before he takes a look at the expression on Sokka’s face and he relaxes (Sokka doesn’t waste a lot of time trying to figure out why he does that). “It’s not a dance,” Zuko says. “It’s a firebending form.”</p><p>Sokka’s grin widens. “We’ll just tap dance our way to victory over the Fire Lord.” He punctuates his statement by moving his fingers like they’re dancing.</p><p>Zuko walks towards him (a challenge because when is it not a challenge between them?). “It’s a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old!” To others, his voice may sound angry, but Sokka sees the little fondness and the warm look in his eyes. Sokka missed their banter, he missed it a lot.</p><p>“Oh, yeah?” Katara says, raising her eyebrows. “What’s your little form called?”</p><p>Zuko’s eyes shift to the side as his face pinks. “The Dancing Dragon,” he admits, the statement followed by loud laughter. Sokka looks at Zuko’s embarrassed face while he’s laughing, and yeah, that’s the Zuko he knows.</p><p>He hasn't forgiven him, not yet, not fully, it'll take time, but they'll get there. Maybe. Hopefully.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka sharpens his sword with a rock, sitting down on the floor. He turns around when he hears footsteps, raising his space sword, but it's just Zuko. Sokka puts down his sword, frowning at Zuko. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>Zuko looks down, holding his <em>dao</em>. "I was going to practice with my, uhm, swords."</p><p>Sokka stares at him but looks down quickly. It hurts to look at him for too long. "Don't let me stop you."</p><p>"Uh, right." Zuko starts to move but then stops. "Actually, do you – do you, um, want to spar?"</p><p>Sokka looks down at his shining sword. "Sure," he says without thinking, because how can he ever say no to Zuko. He stands up. "No bending."</p><p>Zuko nods. "No bending." He takes out his <em>dao </em>and smiles just slightly at Sokka. It is incredibly distracting. Sokka just raises an eyebrow in response. They circle each other, Sokka moving forward and Zuko countering, their swords clanging against each other. This way and that, a thrust and a parry.</p><p>It's freeing, Spirits, is it freeing. Sokka lets loose a loud laugh as he thrusts his sword, blocking a thrust from Zuko. They go back and forth, neck and neck almost. Sokka doesn't think about Ba Sing Se or the invasion or anything but Zuko and the sound of their swords clanging. </p><p>Zuko is sweating, it glimmers on his collarbone, with his hair in his face. He blows said hair out of his face which is even more distracting. And Sokka has only had his sword for around a month, barely anyone to spar with, while Zuko has been training since he was a kid.</p><p>Zuko disarms him, pressing forward and shoving him down on the floor. He straddles Sokka's hips with the tip of one of his swords at Sokka's throat.</p><p>"Do you yield?" Zuko asks, breathless, panting.</p><p>Sokka looks up at him, Zuko with his fluffy hair and little smirk and his muscles and the way the neckline of his tunic is just low enough for Sokka to see a little bit of his chest. Sokka flushes all over, breathing heavily. </p><p>"Sokka?" Zuko furrows his brows. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"</p><p>Sokka sits up abruptly and Zuko falls off of him, their legs around each other now. "Y – yes," he stammers. "Wait. I mean no. I'm. Fine." He gets up, picking his sword up with him, and starts to leave (no, no, no, what the actual fuck. He is supposed to be slowly understanding and forgiving Zuko, he's <em>mad</em>, he's not supposed to blush at every little thing Zuko does) before he turns around again. "And no. You didn't 'hurt' me, don't flatter yourself."</p><p>Zuko stares at him.</p><p>"Uhm, anyway, I need to go. Because. I have something to do."</p><p>Sokka leaves and considers jumping into the ocean and drowning himself. Why can't Zuko just let him be mad at hurt and not <em>look</em> like that?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter features: the boiling rock, making more use of that literal sleeping together tag, sokka’s crush and his old crush bonding and being vEry similar, the homoeroticness of breaking into a prison with someone who you are totally in love with but aren’t in love with to save your dad, and holding hands :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. tightrope across the table</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 16</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy valentine's day !!!!! &lt;333 i think it's very fitting that i'm posting the boiling rock on valentine's day because it is peak zukka and literally one of my favourite episodes of all time</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>There have been some...developments. They’re still a little awkward, but not as much. Not <em> too </em> much, at least. Sokka is disappointed that they have to practically restart their whole relationship, but he’s okay. He’s glad that they’re still talking at least, and that Sokka figured out what he thought about all of it. It’s still a little...confusing? But, ultimately, they’re fine. </p><p>He’s still a little mad, though, how could he not be?</p><p>Zuko holds a tray with a kettle and tea cups, giving everyone some tea. “No one can make tea like Uncle, but hopefully I learned a thing or too.” Sokka hopes so too, given what Iroh had told him about Zuko’s attempts at making tea. “Would you like to hear Uncle’s favourite tea joke?” Spirits, Zuko is such a nerd (no, Sokka did <em> not </em> miss it), of course the first thing he does when he feels mildly comfortable with them is gush about Iroh. It’s kind of adorable.</p><p>There’s a chorus of “sure”’s and Zuko serves tea to The Duke and Haru. “Okay,” he says, standing up. “Well, I can’t remember how it starts, but the punchline is: ‘Leaf me alone, I’m bushed!’” Everyone falls silent, Sokka swears he hears crickets. “Well, it’s funnier when Uncle tells it,” Zuko says sheepishly, cheeks tinted pink.</p><p>“Right,” Katara says, raising an eyebrow, “maybe that’s because he remembers the whole thing.”</p><p>Sokka laughs along with everyone else, but his eyes catch on Zuko’s small, fond smile. He’s honestly glad that everyone else gets to see this side of Zuko. The side Sokka knows. </p><p>There’s only one problem, though.</p><p>Now that Sokka has “fixed” his problems with Zuko, he can only think about the invasion and the way he’d left his dad. He doesn’t even know anything about Fire Nation prisons, and he doesn’t even know where any of them are. But he has to know, he has to know what he put Dad and the others through. If it isn’t too bad...maybe he can save them.</p><p>So when Zuko comes up to him to give him tea, he looks up and asks, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Sokka gets up and leaves without waiting for an answer but he doesn’t miss the red that colours Zuko’s cheeks. </p><p>“So, what’s up?” Zuko asks when they get outside.</p><p>“If someone was captured by the Fire Nation, where would they be taken?” Sokka asks, getting straight to the point.</p><p>“What do you mean? Who was captured?” Aw, bless his little worried heart. </p><p>Sokka sighs, crossing his arms. “When the invasion plan failed, some of our troops were taken. I just want to know where they might be.”</p><p>“I can’t tell you,” Zuko says bluntly. </p><p>“What? Why not?”</p><p>“Trust me. Knowing would just make you feel worse.” Zuko turns to walk away but Sokka puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. Zuko turns his head, cheeks pink.</p><p>“It’s my dad,” he explains. “He was captured too. I need to know what I put him through.”</p><p>“It’s not good, Sokka,” Zuko tells him.</p><p>“Please,” Sokka pleads.</p><p>Zuko sighs. “My guess is, they were taken to the Boiling Rock.”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“The highest security prison in the Fire Nation.” Sokka’s eyes widen. “It’s on an island in the middle of a boiling lake. It’s inescapable.”</p><p>“So, where is this place?” Sokka asks, trying to sound nonchalant. Zuko seems to see right through him.</p><p>“Why do you need to know?” he demands. “What are you planning?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Sokka says quickly. Too quickly. He pauses and then puts on a casual voice. “Boy, you’re so paranoid.”</p><p>“It’s in the middle of a volcano between here and the Fire Nation,” Zuko says. “You guys actually flew right past it on your way here.”</p><p>“Thanks, Zuko,” Sokka says casually. He fake yawns. “Just knowing makes me feel better,” he lies before leaving to join the campfire again.</p><p>Later, when everyone else is asleep, Sokka packs a bag and tiptoes past everyone’s sleeping bodies. He narrowly avoids tripping over Momo before shushing Appa and starting to climb on; only to find that the saddle is already occupied – by Zuko.</p><p>Sokka lets out a strangled yell as Zuko says, “Not up to anything, huh?”</p><p>Sokka falls off of Appa, his supplies falling out of his bag. “Fine, you caught me. I’m gonna rescue my dad, you happy now?”</p><p>“I’m never happy.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him, searching his face. <em> We both know that’s a lie </em>, he thinks and it’s almost like Zuko can hear him because he flushes and looks away, crossing his arms.</p><p>Sokka starts picking up his supplies and repacking them. “Look, I have to do this. The invasion plan was my idea, it was my decision to stay when things were going wrong.” Zuko jumps off of Appa and lands right in front of him. “It's my mistake, and it's my job to fix it.” Sokka looks up at Zuko, blue meeting gold, his gaze hardening. “I have to regain my honour. You can't stop me, Zuko.” He pushes Zuko aside and starts to climb Appa.</p><p>“You need to regain your honour?” Zuko repeats. “Believe me, I get it. I’m coming with you.”</p><p>Sokka feels his heart squeeze. Poor choice of words, but they were the only ones that felt right.”</p><p>“No,” Sokka says hardly. “I have to do this alone.”</p><p>“How are you going to get there? On Appa?” Zuko raises his eyebrow. “Last I checked prisons don’t have bison daycares.”</p><p>Sokka stops climbing and looks at Zuko, sighing. Zuko looks back at him, eyebrow raised and his pink lips in a firm, stubborn line. </p><p>The smallest of smiles graces Zuko’s lips when Sokka starts to climb down. “We’ll take my war balloon.”</p><p>They start to leave before Sokka remembers what he was going to do before Zuko caught him.</p><p>“Wait!” he whisper-shouts. Zuko stops walking and turns around (it’s so dramatic, his hair flips and his mouth is slightly parted. Why can’t he just be normal and not so pretty?). “We need to leave a note.”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah, you’re right.”</p><p>Sokka fishes in his bag for a brush, ink, and a piece of parchment. He quickly scribbles a note.</p><p>“Your writing is so bad,” Zuko whispers patronizingly, tilting his head to read. “I can’t believe I never noticed before when you were always scribbling in your journal.”</p><p>Sokka glares at him, but it has no real bite, he’s just glad that Zuko’s sort of back to himself, and that he’s acknowledging Ba Sing Se. </p><p>Zuko bends down next to him when he finishes. He takes the brush, ignoring Sokka’s indignant, “Hey!”</p><p>Sokka tilts his head to see what Zuko’s writing. He makes out the words “Aang”, “fire fists”, “hot squats”, and “every time a badger-frog croaks”. </p><p>“Zuko, you can’t make Aang do that!” Sokka says quietly but still somehow makes it sound like he’s shouting. “Those are ridiculous instructions.”</p><p>“No they’re not!” Zuko argues. “I’m his teacher, and I say he should do these.”</p><p>Sokka tries to wrestle the paper out of Zuko’s hands. “Just tell him to do it, not that stupid badger-frog bullshit!”</p><p>Zuko moves the paper out of arm’s reach, making Sokka have to reach his arms up too high to reach it. “Sokka, stop it!”</p><p>“No!” Sokka whisper-yells.</p><p>Zuko leans back out of Sokka’s reach but Sokka just leans forward so that he can try to grab the paper from Zuko’s long fingers. They hear a grunt from where everyone is sleeping and freeze, turning their heads. It’s only Toph, thank the Spirits (and thank the Spirits for the fact that she sleeps with her feet up so she can’t sense them). Sokka turns back to look at Zuko only to realize that his face is inches from Zuko’s. Sokka’s eyes flick down to Zuko’s lips and he swallows shakily before pulling away, clearing his throat.</p><p>Zuko coughs and sets the letter down in Momo’s arms before following Sokka to the war balloon.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>It’s awkward the whole time. Sokka had thought they’d been getting better, a little, but it’s even worse when they’re alone, just the two of them.</p><p>The night falls into day as they stand in the war balloon awkwardly, not saying anything to each other. </p><p>Sokka sits down, spreading his legs out and resting his arms behind him, as Zuko uses firebending to keep the balloon up. Sokka watches him do it; the way he flicks his wrist, the way his hair moves slightly, the way he concentrates hard on what he’s doing. Zuko looks over and Sokka turns his head away, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks heating. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Zuko twiddling his thumbs. The way he does when he’s nervous and in an awkward situation. </p><p>“Pretty clouds,” Sokka blurts out before he can stop himself because he just can’t stand silence.</p><p>Zuko looks up at the sky. “Yeah, fluffy.”</p><p>Oh Spirits this is going to be a long balloon ride. </p><p>Sokka starts whistling to pass the time (it’s an old song, one his mom and dad used to hum to him when he and Katara wouldn’t sleep. Dad never hums it anymore, but Sokka does – he especially does when Katara can’t sleep), but Zuko turns his head and says, “What?”</p><p>“What? Oh, I didn’t say anything.” Sokka resists the urge to hit his forehead. How are they going to get through this if they can’t even sit in silence without it turning awkward? They can’t even say anything without it turning awkward. “You know, a friend of mine actually designed these war balloons,” Sokka comments after a few minutes.</p><p>“No kidding,” Zuko says and Spirits, Zuko cannot hold a conversation. How did Sokka ever talk to him (<em> that’s different </em>, he tells himself)?</p><p>“Yep. A balloon, but for war.” Why did Sokka say that? What a stupid thing to say.</p><p>“If there’s one thing my dad’s good at, it’s war,” Zuko says seriously.</p><p>“Yeah, it seems to run in the family,” Sokka replies, thinking of Azula.</p><p>Zuko looks at him defensively. “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that!”</p><p>“I know, I know. You’ve – changed...”</p><p>“I meant Uncle,” Zuko says, looking down. “He was more of a father to me, and I really let him down.”</p><p>“I think Iroh would be proud of you,” Sokka says, smiling at him. “You left your home to come help us. That’s hard, Zuko.”</p><p>Zuko blushes. “It wasn’t that hard.”</p><p>“Really? You didn’t leave behind anyone you cared about?”</p><p>“Well, I had to leave Mai behind but –”</p><p>“That gloomy girl that sighs a lot?” Sokka asks.</p><p>Zuko smiles brightly and Sokka is suddenly struck by how beautiful he is. “Yeah. Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I’m a traitor, I couldn’t drag her into it.”</p><p>“Is she – was she your girlfriend?” Sokka asks before he can stop himself (he finds that he desperately wants to – needs to – know the answer).</p><p>“No – well, yes but no.” Sokka raises his eyebrows in confusion. “I mean,” Zuko tries again, “to everyone else she was my girlfriend, but we only put up the facade so that Azula would stop pestering me with questions about...” Zuko looks up at him, biting his lip, “...well, about you. ‘C – cause of what happened in the, uhm, the catacombs and, uh, what you said.”</p><p>Sokka feels his face heat up. “Right, um, that.”</p><p>“Plus, Mai has a thing for Ty Lee anyways. Even if she won’t admit it,” Zuko says quickly.</p><p>Sokka leans back and then blurts out abruptly, “My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”</p><p>What? Why did he say that? Spirits, that’s so...stupid. Tui and La, why would he even phrase it that way?</p><p>Zuko pauses for a moment and then says, “That’s rough buddy.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka falls asleep sometime while they’re flying, it gets dark and he didn’t sleep last night so he lets his head fall back and lets the wind blow his hair while he sleeps.</p><p>“There it is!” Zuko shouts, rudely waking Sokka from his slumber. Sokka walks over to where Zuko is standing, their elbows touching. “There's plenty of steam to keep us covered. As long as we're quiet, we should be able to navigate through it without being caught.”</p><p>Zuko shoots more fire into the tank but the second they enter the volcano, they start going down, no matter how much fire Zuko shoots in the tank. “We’re going down!” Zuko yells, frantically shooting fire in the tank and up into the balloon to get them to stay up. “The balloon’s not working anymore.”</p><p>“The air outside is just as hot as the air inside so we can’t fly!” Sokka yells back. He faintly hears Zuko mutter, “I’m glad you know the scientific explanation.”</p><p>“What are we supposed to do?” Zuko asks as they continue to go down.</p><p>“I don’t know! Crash landing?”</p><p>The balloon skids along the boiling water and some water splashes onto Sokka’s hand, Sokka shakes said hand and clamps a hand over his mouth to keep himself from shouting. The balloon hits the base of some rock inside and falls over, causing both Sokka and Zuko to fall out.</p><p>“How are we gonna get off the island if the balloon won’t work?” Zuko asks, looking at the balloon.</p><p>“We’ll figure something out,” Sokka answers. “I suspected it would be a one-way ticket.” This is true, of course, but when he’d first been going to go he’d thought that it would just be him. But now if they can’t make it back, Aang will have lost him and his firebending teacher.</p><p>“You knew this would happen and you wanted to come anyways?” Zuko asks incredulously.</p><p>“My dad might be here! I had to come and see!”</p><p>“Uncle always said I never thought things through, but this...this is just crazy!”</p><p>Sokka glares at him while he gathers parts from the balloon and puts them in the basket. “Hey, I never wanted you to come along in the first place!”</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“And for the record, I always think things through! But my plans haven't exactly worked, so this time, I'm playing it by ear. So there!” Sokka kicks the balloon into the water.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Zuko asks, walking over to him. </p><p>“It doesn’t work anyway, and we don’t want anyone to find it,” Sokka explains.</p><p>“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Zuko says (Sokka has no clue what he’s doing). “There’s no turning back now.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka rummages through the shelves, looking for blankets and some pillows. He and Zuko had decided to camp out in the uniform room to sleep instead of sneaking into the actual guard dormitories, and Sokka was tasked with finding blankets and pillows while Zuko tried to find a spot without spiders. </p><p>“I found one, I think,” comes Zuko’s voice from one of the corners in the room. Sokka turns to look at him peering at the wall. “There aren’t any spider webs here and I don’t see any actual spiders.” Zuko turns to look at him. “Did you find any blankets?”</p><p>Sokka shakes his head. “No,” he says. “But I did find this big rag, I think it’s large enough to cover both of us. It might be a bit cold though, but,” he pauses, a smile stretching on his face, trying to act casual, “if we’re cold you can always warm us up with a little jerkbending.”</p><p>Zuko pinks and turns away, Sokka doesn’t waste time wondering why he does that and instead pulls out the rag, walking over to Zuko. He lays down the rag, trying to form a makeshift bed but Zuko takes the rag away from him. </p><p>“We’ll just be uncomfortable and cold if we try and lay on top of it or if we lay on the floor,” Zuko explains. “We should just sleep sitting up with the blanket around us.” </p><p>Sokka nods, sitting down in the corner next to Zuko and letting Zuko let the flame of the lamp go out and pull the rag over them. He’s not really cold (Zuko provides enough warmth for the both of them), but he still pulls the rag closer around him and moves closer to Zuko. Zuko shivers when Sokka moves closer but he relaxes after a second and leans into the touch. </p><p>They’re silent for a while and Sokka’s not sure if Zuko’s actually asleep; he’s too scared to look up and see if Zuko’s eyes are closed (he’s not sure why but maybe it’s because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if Zuko’s eyes aren’t closed), but he can’t stand the silence so he speaks into the darkness, “Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko shifts a little. “Yeah?”</p><p>Sokka lets out a small breath. He’s not sure what to say, he’d expected Zuko to be asleep, truthfully, but Zuko’s not asleep so Sokka might as well say what he’s wanted to say since they sat awkwardly in the war balloon. </p><p>“Thank you. For coming,” Sokka says, licking his lips. “You didn’t – you didn’t have to.”</p><p>Zuko shrugs one shoulder, Sokka can feel him do it. “I kinda did.”</p><p>Sokka cringes slightly, he knows that tone and he knows that helped cause the feelings which involved Zuko using that tone.</p><p>“Don’t,” Sokka says flatly. Zuko shifts again but this time it’s a confused shift (Sokka’s not sure how he knows but he just does). “Don’t say it like that. I don’t – I don’t blame you for it.” Zuko tenses but Sokka just continues speaking. “I’m not mad – I mean I was mad – I still kind of am, but...when you first did it I was – I – understand why and I don’t – I think you had to go back to be able to stay with us. For closure, maybe.”</p><p>Zuko shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have – you guys – I don’t deserve all of your forgiveness – not that Katara’s forgiven me – but you especially.”</p><p>Sokka nudges his shoulder against Zuko’s. “I think  you’ve made up for it. That whole awkward conversation when you were first trying to join us was proof that you can’t be bad to save your life,” Sokka adds teasingly. </p><p>Zuko lets out a laugh, the angelic and loud laugh that Sokka so rarely gets to hear. “You’re not going to let that go, are you?”</p><p>“Nope,” Sokka says happily. “You should know that I won’t, Zuko.”</p><p>Zuko stills at the mention of his name and Sokka can <em>feel</em> him getting warmer. </p><p>“Zuko?” Sokka asks, turning to look at him and wondering if he did something wrong but Zuko just blurts out, “Nobody says my name like you do.”</p><p>Sokka raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth to say something but Zuko just keeps going, “The way you say it. It’s different from the way anyone says it. This – this thing happens when you say my name and – I just feel it inside of me? And I –” Zuko stops and Sokka thinks he might be blushing (he’s <em>definitely</em> blushing). “Sorry that was – I didn’t mean to – to – tosay that – I just – I –”</p><p>That’s right. Sokka never did figure out why Zuko always jumped when his name was said.</p><p>He feels a smile tugging at his lips. “Stop apologizing, you do that too much,” he says, interrupting Zuko. “That was – that was – nice.” Sokka stifles a yawn. “Sweet. It was sweet.”</p><p>Zuko huffs indignantly. “I am not sweet.”</p><p>“Yeah you are,” Sokka says casually, actually yawning this time. He’s getting really tired but, for once, he doesn’t want to go to sleep, he wants to keep talking to Zuko. The last thing he remembers is his head falling on something warm and strong and mumbling, “You are sweet,” before he falls asleep.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka huddles closer to the block of warmth next to him, leaning into the touch of the...thing before he freezes, remembering that he’s in a Fire Nation prison. Sokka blinks open his eyes and finds himself leaning against Zuko, his head on Zuko’s shoulder. Zuko’s breathing deeply, his head on Sokka’s head, and when Sokka turns to look at him (slowly and carefully so he doesn’t move their position; it hurts his neck but it’s worth it not to wake up Zuko) he can see that Zuko’s eyes are closed. He looks peaceful. Asleep. He looks almost angelic and he definitely looks beautiful. His hair is in his eyes and Sokka has to resist the urge to brush it away from his porcelain skin. </p><p><em>Porcelain skin</em>, a voice in the back of his head asks disbelievingly, really?</p><p>Sokka ignores the voice, predictably. </p><p>It’s weird. Seeing Zuko asleep. The last time he actually saw Zuko asleep was in Ba Sing Se when they fell asleep together on Zuko’s small bed and even then Zuko had woken up first. At the temple, Zuko is always the first one awake and they had given him a separate room (which Sokka feels a little bad about) so Sokka never really got to see him sleep. He feels...nostalgic, remembering those times in Ba Sing Se, everything was simpler then. It feels funny. The feeling. It’s sort of empty. Like remembering someone he’d lost, it’s a familiar feeling (it’s the same feeling he has about Yue but he’s not going to admit that yet). </p><p>It’s all going too fast, though. He needs the time, he needs time, just a little bit, to trust Zuko again.</p><p>Sokka tries to shift slowly and quietly so he doesn’t wake up Zuko but Zuko moves and mutters a sleep-garbled word. Golden eyes open slowly, dark eyelashes fluttering. Zuko groans and looks at Sokka, he freezes and his eyes widen when he looks at how they’re sprawled out. It’s kind of funny. Their legs are tangled together and Sokka has a neck cramp and the rag isn’t even covering them anymore. </p><p>“I’m – I’m sorry,” Zuko stutters, face turning red and Sokka laughs casually (as if he isn’t internally freaking out). </p><p>“It’s okay. I fell asleep on you first. Thanks for being such a good pillow.”</p><p>Zuko stammers words Sokka can’t comprehend. Sokka puts a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“It’s chill, don’t worry about it.” Zuko just nods blankly as Sokka ties his hair back up.</p><p>The two of them quickly grab guard uniforms and put them on (no they did not blush while changing, and no they did not turn around, stammering – except they totally did and Sokka died a little).</p><p>Sokka peaks through the door to check if the coast is clear. They slowly edge out of the room, leaning against the wall.</p><p>“I hope these disguises work,” Zuko murmurs.</p><p>“We just need to lay low and find my dad as soon as possible,” Sokka says.</p><p>Apparently, there’s “a scuffle in the yard” and all the guards need to be there because the Boiling Rock can’t stand having two guards chill and try to break a prisoner out.</p><p>Sokka runs with Zuko outside and they push their way past the circle surrounding a guard and prisoner so that they’re near the front.</p><p>“I didn’t do anything!” the prisoner yells. “I’m going back to my cell.”</p><p>The guard whips fire at the prisoner. “Stop right there, Chit Sang.”</p><p>Zuko tenses and tries to go help, but Sokka grabs his arm and squeezes it. “We can’t blow our cover,” he mutters out of the corner of his mouth. Zuko nods, but Sokka can’t bring himself to let go of Zuko’s warm arm. </p><p>“I’ve had it with your unruly behaviour!” the bully guard says. </p><p>“What did I do?” Chit Sang asks.</p><p>The guard scoffs. “He wants to know what he did.” He leans to Sokka and Zuko; Sokka immediately tenses, his nails probably digging into Zuko’s arm with how tight he’s holding him. “Isn’t that cute?” Sokka and Zuko don’t say anything. The guard gives them a look.</p><p>Zuko coughs. “Uh, very cute, sir.” Of <em> course </em> he says “sir” because he’s <em> Zuko </em>. </p><p>“<em> Super </em> cute,” Sokka says nervously.</p><p>The guard looks pleased and he turns back to Chit Sang. “You didn’t bow when I walked by, Chit Sang.”</p><p>“What? That’s not a prison rule,” Chit Sang says.</p><p>“Do it!”</p><p>“Make me!”</p><p>The guard starts to walk away, but then he turns around and whips fire at Chit Sang. Chit Sang redirects it in defense.</p><p>The bully guard shakes his head. “Tsk, tsk. Firebending is prohibited. You're going in the cooler.” He points at Sokka. “You! Help me take him in.”</p><p>Sokka squeezes Zuko’s arm again and whispers, “Meet back here in an hour.” Then he runs up and follows the guard and Chit Sang.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“Hey there, fellow guard, how goes it?” someone asks, coming up next to Sokka.</p><p>Sokka raises his visor. “Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko shushes him. “Listen, I asked around the lounge. There are no Water Tribe prisoners.” Zuko lifts up his visor, brow furrowed. “I’m afraid your father’s not here.”</p><p>Sokka’s heart sinks, it drops right out of his chest and he can’t <em> feel </em>. “What? A – are you sure? Did you double check?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure.”</p><p>“No. No!” Sokka turns away and bangs his fists against the metal wall. How could he have done this? How could he have risked their lives like this?</p><p>“I’m really sorry, Sokka.”</p><p>“So, we came all this way for nothing? I failed...again.”</p><p>Zuko starts saying something, it might be something about clouds and sandwiches, Sokka isn’t sure. But his ears focus on Zuko’s voice. </p><p>Sokka has always liked Zuko’s voice. It’s pretty distinctive. So it’s easy to let his other thoughts slip away and just...listen to it. There’s so much there, in the earnestness of Zuko’s tone. How forcefully he says things, even when speaking softly. Like he’s pressing every word into the air. It’s here now, for Sokka. There’s definitely something special about that, about Zuko’s voice and the way he’s using it to help Sokka. Even if he’s saying something so incredibly stupid. </p><p>Sokka glances down and then his eyes widen as they catch on something. He rushes over to the railing. “Maybe we haven’t failed after all!”</p><p>“That’s the spirit!” Zuko says, grinning. “I can’t believe that worked, I didn’t even know what I was saying.”</p><p>Sokka snorts. “No, what you said made no sense at all.” He tries hard not to say something stupid like thank you, or I appreciated that, or I loved how you were trying to help me. Instead, he points down to where she’s sitting down in the prison yard in the horrible prisoner clothes. She looks great, and she even has a matching wolf-tail with him (best buds!)!</p><p>Zuko looks at him weird as Sokka gives him a grin before dragging him to try and find Suki’s cell. They find it easily, actually, and Sokka asks him to stand guard outside while he goes to talk to her. Sokka wonders if he imagines the disappointed and slightly annoyed expression on Zuko’s face.</p><p>Suki sits up aggressively when Sokka enters. “What is it? Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>Sokka folds his arms, trying not to smile. “You mean you don’t recognize me?”</p><p>“You people all look the same to me,” Suki says bitterly.</p><p>“Oh? Then, maybe you’ll recognize this.” Sokka attempts to go and kiss her cheek like she did to him before but Suki violently shoves him away, knocking him against the door and making his helmet fall off.</p><p>Suki’s eyes widen and she runs over to him, smiling brightly. “Sokka! It’s you!” Suki pulls him into a tight hug, Sokka returns the hug after a second, still rubbing his head. Spirits, he missed her.</p><p>They stand up and Suki releases him. “The other Kyoshi Warriors, are they here?” Sokka asks.</p><p>Suki looks down. “No. I don’t know where they are. They locked me here because I’m the leader. And Sela...”</p><p>“Well, you won’t be here for long, I’m busting you out,” Sokka says, trying to take her mind off of her girlfriend and the other Kyoshi Warriors.</p><p>“I’m so glad to see you, Sokka,” Suki says and Sokka smiles, hugging her again.</p><p>Sokka hears noises from outside and he looks to Suki in worry before putting on his helmet, squeezing her hand, and sneaking out of the cell.</p><p>Zuko and another guard are fighting, Zuko currently has the high ground but the guard notices Sokka and yells to him.</p><p>“Guard, help!” she yells, struggling. “I think he’s an impostor! Arrest him!”</p><p>Sokka freezes.</p><p>“Get him off of me and arrest him!”</p><p>Sokka swallows and turns around, grabbing Zuko and throwing him on the floor as gently as he can. “You’re under arrest!” he yells and then pulls Zuko up, leaning close. “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out,” he whispers right into Zuko’s ear, his lips brushing Zuko’s skin. Zuko shivers (for unknown reasons) and nods.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka walks around the perimeter of the prison, clutching his tiny boat. He’d just left Zuko to be in the hands of other guards and the warden when the idea came to him. Sokka quickly made a tiny boat to see if it would work.</p><p>Searching for a blind spot, he whistles as he walks around, making sure no other guards are around. When he finds one, he bends down and places his boat in the water, seeing if it’ll float with the currents. Sokka grins when the boat goes straight across.</p><p>He hurries inside to where the prisoners are mopping and doing chores outside the cells. Next to the stairs, Sokka finds Suki and Zuko mopping the area together. </p><p>He grins. “Oh, good, you guys have met.”</p><p>“Actually, we met a long time ago,” Suki says; Sokka has a fleeting vision of him and Suki fighting Zuko at Kyoshi Island.</p><p>“We did?” Zuko asks.</p><p>“Yeah, you kind of burned down my village,” Suki explains, a little angry. Sokka facepalms. </p><p>“Oh, sorry about that,” Zuko apologizes. “Nice to see you again.” Sokka facepalms again.</p><p>Zuko and Suki stop mopping and sit down behind the stairs.</p><p>Sokka raises his visor up. “So, listen, I think I have an escape plan. I checked out the coolers again, and the point of them is to keep firebenders contained, right?”</p><p>“Yeah...?” Zuko says.</p><p>“So, they're completely insulated and sealed to keep the cold in. Well, to keep the cold in, it also has to keep the heat out, right?”</p><p>“Just get to the point, Sokka,” Suki tells him.</p><p>“It’s a perfect boat for getting through the boiling water,” Sokka explains.</p><p>Zuko looks at Suki, sharing a worried glance with her. Since when did they get so chummy? “The cooler as a boat? Are you sure?”</p><p>“I'm telling you, it'll work. I walked around the perimeter. There's a blind spot between two guard towers. It's the perfect launching point. I already tested it out. We'll roll the cooler into the water and just float with the current. It'll take us straight across. As long as we don't make a sound, no one will notice. And bing-bang-boom, we’re home free,” Sokka explains with a smile.</p><p>“But how are you going to get the cooler out?” Suki asks. </p><p>“Yeah,” a voice says from above them. “How are you going to get the cooler out?”</p><p>Sokka’s eyes widen as Chit Sang jumps down and kneels next to them. “What?” he says, his voice high pitched. “We didn’t – w – we didn’t say that.”</p><p>“Yeah, you heard wrong,” Zuko says firmly.</p><p>“I heard you hatching an escape plan,” Chit Sang says. “And I want in.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to get ‘in’ on.”</p><p>Sokka smiles awkwardly. “Yeah, the only thing we’re hatching is...an egg?”</p><p>Zuko and Suki’s simultaneous groans tell him he didn’t do a very good job of covering up. </p><p>Chit Sang looks unconvinced. “Okay. Well, I come with you or the warden hears about this ‘egg’ too.”</p><p>Suki sighs. “I guess we have no choice.”</p><p>“Okay, you’re in,” Sokka says reluctantly. He fishes in one of his pockets for the wrench he stole and he hands it to Zuko, careful to make sure their fingers don’t brush because he really can’t handle that right now. “Now, first we need someone to unbolt the cooler from the inside.”</p><p>Chit Sang smirks. “Oh, I can get you inside.”</p><p>Sokka raises his eyebrows. “How?”</p><p>“You,” Chit Sang says roughly, pointing at Zuko, “pretty boy, you’re going to pretend to fight me and then use firebending.”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “Easy enough.”</p><p>Sokka tries to concentrate on what Zuko and Chit Sang are doing, but his mind keeps wandering to when he’d called Zuko “pretty boy” and Zuko had blushed.</p><p>Suki nudges Sokka, startling him. Sokka clears his throat, ignoring her pointed look, and calls out, “I need backup over here!” He watches as more guards come and yell when Zuko firebends. Sokka flinches when Zuko is pushed to the ground, but he keeps a normal face and catches Suki’s eye before turning away.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka takes a deep breath and opens the doors to the cooler. He clears his throat at the hunched over Zuko in front of him. “I can take you back to your cell if you’ve learned your lesson,” he says, folding his arms.</p><p>Zuko lifts his head up, eyes closed, and takes breath, releasing a single flame that lights up his face. He opens his eyes and looks up at Sokka, smirking. “Yes, I have.” He lifts up his tunic to show Sokka all the bolts he’d taken out. “Completely.”</p><p>Sokka’s mouth suddenly feels very dry when he sees the way Zuko is looking at him, and the smile that spreads on his face definitely isn’t because of the bolts and screws he sees. Sokka shakes his head, ignoring the way he feels very hot despite being in front of a cooler, and he leans forward. “I got Suki and Chit Sang out of their cells a few minutes ago,” Sokka whispers. “They’ll be waiting for us at the shore.”</p><p>“Someone’s coming,” Zuko whisper-yells. He yanks Sokka into the cooler with him, closing the door slightly.</p><p>Now, see, the cooler isn’t that big. It’s pretty tiny, actually. Meaning, Sokka is pressed up against Zuko in ways that...make him feel funny (like that swarming he hasn’t felt since Ba Sing Se). Sokka takes a shuddering breath and swallows, pretending he isn’t freaking out.</p><p>“Yeah, new arrivals coming in at dawn,” a guard says outside.</p><p>“Anybody interesting?” another guard asks.</p><p>“Nah, just the usual. Some robbers, a couple traitors, some war prisoners.” Sokka’s eyes widen as he turns to look at Zuko with worry. “Though, I did hear there might be a pirate.”</p><p>“No fooling!”</p><p>Zuko furrows his brow as he turns to Sokka. “War prisoners,” he echoes. “It could be your father.”</p><p>“I know,” Sokka says, looking down.</p><p>
  <em> “We won’t be apart for too long this time. I promise.” </em>
</p><p>If it isn’t Dad...Sokka will have ruined everything, and just wasted their chance at escaping. But if it is his dad, and Sokka leaves; won’t he have broken his promise?</p><p>“Well, what should we do?” Zuko asks. “Are we going ahead with the plan or are we waiting another night?”</p><p>“I don't know!” Sokka says, confused and frantic. “Is it right for me to risk Suki's freedom, all of our freedom, on the slim chance that my dad is gonna show up?”</p><p>Zuko squeezes his arm. “It’s your call, Sokka.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka lifts the rock where he’d hid his Water Tribe clothes. The blue stands out against the dark rock of the volcano, it reminds him painfully of Dad.</p><p>“Are you sure you wanna go?” comes Zuko’s voice from behind him. “You're the one who said you wanted to redeem yourself. Redeem your honour. Rescuing your dad is your chance.” Why is he right? Why is he always right? Why does he know how to help Sokka every single time?</p><p>“Your dad?” Suki repeats, approaching them.</p><p>Sokka turns to look at Zuko, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze hard. “If I had just cut my losses at the invasion, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe sometimes it’s better to just call it quits before you fail.”</p><p>“No, it’s not,” Zuko says to Sokka’s retreating back, his voice even. “Look, Sokka, you’re going to fail a lot before things work out.”</p><p>“That supposed to make me feel better?” Sokka snaps bitterly.</p><p>“Even though you’ll probably fail over and over again –”</p><p>“Seriously, not helping.”</p><p>Zuko grabs his shoulder, the warmth of his hand seeping through the armour Sokka’s wearing. “You have to try every time. You can’t quit because you’re afraid you <em> might fail </em> .” <em> Because you’re afraid you might fall. </em></p><p>“Hey, if you two are done cuddling, can we get a move on?” Chit Sang says, next to the boat.</p><p>Sokka flushes at the word “cuddling” but he sets his mouth into a firm line, determination clouding his thoughts. “No,” he says hardly. “I’m staying. You guys go,” he says to Zuko and Suki, but mostly to Suki. “You’ve been here long enough.”</p><p>Suki smiles. “I’m not leaving without you, Sokka.”</p><p>“I’m staying too,” Zuko says. </p><p>Sokka’s heart expands to the size of a balloon as he looks at the two of them. He ignores the protests in his mind about how he needs to be mad at Zuko, because how can he be? When Zuko looks at him like that?</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“This is it,” Sokka says, standing in between Zuko and Suki at the edge of the prison walls. “If my dad’s not there, we’ve risked everything for nothing.”</p><p>“We had to,” Suki says, grabbing his hand. Sokka holds on tight to her hand; Zuko grabs his hand from his right, squeezing tightly. Sokka takes a deep breath.</p><p>“Come on, come on,” Sokka whispers, more to himself than to the others.</p><p>A man with a nose ring and tattoos exits the gondola. “Is that him?” Zuko asks, genuinely asks, like he really sees the resemblance between that man and Sokka.</p><p>Sokka scoffs, glaring at him. “My dad doesn’t have a nose ring.” But his words have no bite, and he squeezes Zuko’s hand tighter, ignoring the fluttering inside him when Zuko rubs little circles back and forth on his hand.</p><p>“Where is he?” Sokka mutters as more men step off the gondola. “That’s it? That can’t be it.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Sokka,” Suki says comfortingly, squeezing his hand.</p><p>“No,” he murmurs. They risked it all and Dad isn’t even –</p><p>“Hey, you! Get off the gondola!”</p><p>Sokka waits, holding his breath, and then Hakoda of the Water Tribe steps out of the gondola, his hair blowing. <em>Always one for dramatic entrances, aren't</em></p><p><em> you, Dad? </em> A bright smile appears on Sokka’s face and he breathes out, “Dad.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Sokka says, entering his dad’s cell.</p><p>Dad stands up, getting into a fighting stance. “If you take one step closer, you’ll see just how ‘okay’ I am.”</p><p>Sokka laughs, lifting up his visor. “Dad, it’s me.”</p><p>“Sokka,” Dad says softly, his eyes tearing up, “my son.” He pulls Sokka into a bone crushing hug. Sokka closes his eyes, letting himself just be hugged like there’s time for it, like there isn’t anything they need to be doing.</p><p>When his dad lets go, he asks, “So, where’s Bato? Where’s everyone else from the invasion?”</p><p>“The others are being held at a prison near the Fire Nation palace,” Dad says. “They singled me out as their leader and sent me here.” Sokka sits down next to his dad. “But before I left, I met some young women who said they knew you. The...Oshinama Fighters?”</p><p>Sokka grins, thinking of how Suki would react to hearing her warriors called that. “You mean the Kyoshi Warriors?”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“Their leader Suki is here and she’s gonna escape with us.”</p><p>Dad smiles. “Good. We’ll need all the help we can get.”</p><p>Sokka hesitates, biting his lip. “Uhm, and you – you know Prince Zuko?”</p><p>“The son of the Fire Lord?” Dad asks. “I don’t know him, but I know of him.”</p><p>“Well, uh,” Sokka looks down, “he’s here too.”</p><p>“Sounds like a major problem.”</p><p>“No!” Sokka says quickly. Too quickly. “He’s – he’s on our side now.” It seems important that his dad knows this. He has to tell him how much Zuko has done. Even though...even though he’s not sure how he feels about all of it. About Zuko.</p><p>Dad gives him a suspicious look, and Sokka finds himself needing, really needing, to tell his father that Zuko is trustworthy. “I – I had the same reaction. After...after all he’s done,” Sokka looks down, “it was hard to trust him. But he’s proven himself now. I never would have found you without his help. He’s – he’s – he’s my friend.”</p><p>Dad looks at him weird but nods to show his understanding. Sokka wants to breathe sigh of relief. He doesn’t know why.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka has to admit, Zuko is a pretty good actor. His fake grunts of pain are really realistic and using his (almost rock solid) mattress as a punching bag is a good idea.</p><p>“We have a new plan,” Sokka whispers, pretending he doesn’t see the way the corner of Zuko’s mouth is tilted up and that it doesn’t make him feel weird. “But, it’s gonna need a big distraction. Be in the yard in one hour.”</p><p>Sokka hears the cell door open, and, before he can stop himself, Sokka has taken Zuko around the neck and is...kind of strangling him.</p><p>“All right,” says a guard, separating them. “That’s enough.”</p><p>They escort Zuko away, but not before Sokka sees the small smile that’s given in his direction. Sokka copies that smile into his head so that he’ll always remember it.</p><p>Sokka leaves Zuko’s cell and explains his new plan to Suki, but what he doesn’t expect is for Suki to ask him about <em> Zuko </em>.</p><p>“So...Zuko, huh?” Suki says slyly, smirking.</p><p>“What about Zuko?”</p><p>“I’m glad you found someone, Sokka, even if it is the prince of the Fire Nation.” Sokka stares at her, baffled. “It does help that he can hold his own in a fight, I guess.”</p><p>“<em> What </em> are you talking about, Suki?”</p><p>Suki furrows her brows. “You and Zuko, aren’t you dating?”</p><p>Sokka’s eyes widen. “No!” he hurries to say. “No, no, we are – we are not dating.”</p><p>“Are you sure? ‘Cause, you guys seem to –”</p><p>“Absolutely not! I mean – I would never even consider – it’s not that I don’t like him – I –” Sokka turns his head as he hears sounds outside. He clears his throat. “I – I have to go. Meet in the yard in about an hour.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Chit Sang doesn’t rat him out, thank the Spirits. But now he wants “in” on their new escape plan. Man, can’t this guy just leave them alone?</p><p>Sokka gets an idea. “Actually, we're trying to escape right now, but we need a riot. You wouldn't happen to know how to start one, would you?”</p><p>Chit Sang scoffs. “A prison riot? Please.” He grabs a prisoner and raises him up in the air. “Hey! Riot!”</p><p>“Impressive,” Dad says. Sokka stares at him, but still smiles a little.</p><p>Sokka sees Zuko run over to them (slamming down a guard on the way, which is very hot, by the way). “Zuko! Good, we’re all here. Now all we need to do is grab the warden, and get to the gondolas!”</p><p>“And how do we do that?” Zuko asks.</p><p>Sokka blanches. “Uh, I’m not sure?”</p><p>Zuko groans. “I thought you thought this through!”</p><p>“I thought you told me it’s okay not to think everything through!”</p><p>“Maybe not everything, but this is kind of important!” Zuko rubs his forehead.</p><p>“Hey, uh, fellas,” Chit Sang interjects. “I think your girlfriend is taking care of it.”</p><p>Sokka opens his mouth to tell him that just because Suki is a girl and she is escaping with two guys her age, that does not mean she is automatically their girlfriend; Suki is her own person and she’s badass and she doesn’t deserve to be referred to as just “someone’s girlfriend”; but when Sokka catches sight of Suki, the words get lost in his mouth.”</p><p>He sees Suki hop up on the heads of the rioters before jumping and flipping onto the tower. She easily defeats the first guard with a few quick jabs. Two more guards arrive; she ducks a fire blast and sweeps the first one, promptly dodges the second one's fire blast, and continues to climb the tower. </p><p>Sokka, Zuko, Dad, and Chit Sang hurry to follow, running out of breath when they get there.</p><p>Suki slams the warden against the wall. “We’ve got the warden! Now let’s get out of here!”</p><p>“That’s some girl,” Dad says in between pants.</p><p>Sokka grins, heaving. “Tell me about it.”</p><p>The five of them (plus the warden) hurry onto the roof and where the gondolas are. The guards give them a clear path when they notice the warden as their prisoner. Suki opens the door to the gondola and everyone gets in – except Zuko.</p><p>Sokka watches in horror and shock as Zuko kicks the handle of the gondola a few times, trying to break it. He kicks again and finally breaks it, but the gondola is moving and there’s no way he’ll be able to –</p><p>Zuko dodges fire blasts, his hair flowing, and makes the most insane jump towards the gondola. Sokka leans so far out the window and catches his hand – his calloused, long-fingered, beautiful hand (a moment from forever ago flashes in his mind, him saving Zuko from falling off the edge of his own ship; and then he thinks of that time in Ba Sing Se where they’d bumped into each other and their hands were entwined). Sokka pulls Zuko and helps him into the gondola.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice full of worry. Sokka clutches his hand, afraid that if he lets go, Zuko will fall again.</p><p>“I’m making it so they can’t stop us,” Zuko says determinedly.</p><p>Sokka grins, feeling slightly proud. “Way to think ahead.”</p><p>“We’re on our way!” Suki yells.</p><p>“Wait!” Dad shouts. “Who’s that?”</p><p>All of them turn to look at Azula and Ty Lee at the gondola station below them. Sokka’s heart sinks.</p><p>“That’s a problem,” Zuko says. “It’s my sister and her friend.”</p><p>“This is a rematch I’ve been waiting for,” Suki says grimly, her face determined.</p><p>Zuko spares her a small smile (since when did they become close???). “Me too.”</p><p>Sokka climbs onto the top of the gondola with Zuko and Suki, unsheathing his sword. They stand side by side, in battle stances, glaring at Azula and Ty Lee.</p><p>Ty Lee flips into the air and lands in front of Suki, Suki growls and assumes a battle-ready position. Azula pulls herself up onto the roof and faces Sokka and Zuko; Sokka thinks of their last meeting and narrows his eyes. She calculates for a moment and then kicks, sending blue fire at them, but Zuko blocks it, standing in front of Sokka. Zuko continues to wipe out Azula's fire blasts, and Sokka draws her back to the edge with his sword. They go back and forth, Sokka and Zuko almost fight like they’ve trained together their whole lives. Zuko blocks any fire that might go towards them and Sokka attempts to hurt her with his sword. They fight like partners. There isn’t a word said between them because, somehow, they can just communicate without saying anything. It’s like they’ve been doing it forever.</p><p>“Cut the line!” the warden yells and Sokka freezes, his eyes widening.</p><p>The guards at the gondola station use a machine to start cutting the line. The gondola rocks back and forth and Sokka loses his balance, sliding to the edge and about to fall off.  Zuko grabs his hand at the last second (Sokka thinks of kicking Zuko off his ship with Aang’s staff way back when; if he had time, he would marvel at how far they’ve come), pulling him up. His warm fingers hold tightly onto Sokka’s, and he makes sure Sokka doesn’t fall. Sokka’s heart pounds fast and so, so loudly. He wonders if Zuko can hear it.</p><p>Sokka, Zuko, and Suki head back into the gondola. The line is so close to being cut when the guards are pinned down by a pair of knives. Sokka feels a smile form on his face as he looks out the window with Zuko and Suki; Mai stands there, her knives and arrows ready, and her long robes flowing. </p><p>“It’s Mai,” Zuko says in disbelief. He smiles down at her, making Sokka's heart flutter indefinitely. </p><p>They leave the warden in the gondola and take Azula’s airship (oh so very petty of them, Sokka loves it). Zuko goes straight for the controls, thinking he knows how to fly an airship.</p><p>“You have no clue how to fly an airship,” Sokka remarks, leaning against the door to the control room.</p><p>“I’d like to see you try,” Zuko snaps.</p><p>Sokka walks over and looks at the controls in front of him. He closes his eyes and looks around, physics and science whirring in his brain. When he opens his eyes, he places his hands over Zuko’s, guiding them to go where they need to and letting the airship fly at a steady pace. </p><p>Zuko looks at their hands and back at Sokka. “Uh,” he says.</p><p>“Zuko, uh.” Sokka’s voice is soft. He doesn’t know exactly what to say. “I, uh, I wanted to say thanks.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Uhm, yeah. Thanks,” Sokka says unintelligently. “And I...I wanted to apologize.”</p><p>“Apologize? You don’t have to apologize.”</p><p>“No, I do,” Sokka says, frowning. “You – you’ve proven yourself, and I – I don’t want to hold a grudge or anything.”</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“<em> Listen </em>,” Sokka insists. “You – ugh – I want to say that I’m sorry for saying those things I said before at the temple. I – uh –”</p><p>“Sokka, it’s – it’s okay. I understand.”</p><p>“Right. That’s...good then. Yup.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Dad pulls Sokka and Katara into a hug so tight that Sokka feels the air leaving his lungs. It’s perfect. Sokka holds onto them tight, and out of the corner of his eye, he can see Zuko smiling warmly at them. It makes his heart squeeze.</p><p>Katara starts talking rapidly to Dad, and Sokka breaks away to let them catch up. He catches Zuko’s eye again, and grins widely. Zuko did so much for him in just two days, it – he – Sokka can't believe that at one point he was mad at Zuko. Foolishly and thoughtlessly, no sense to it, Sokka runs over to him and hugs him tightly, wrapping his arms around his neck and breathing in his cinnamon and cedar smell. </p><p>He buries his face into Zuko’s neck and whispers, “Thank you.”</p><p>Zuko hesitates for a moment before wrapping his arms around Sokka’s waist and hugging him back.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i am not ashamed to say it, i hate chit sang a lot he’s so annoying omg. also i snuck in some zuko/sokka/suki because i cAn :)</p><p>next chapter features: discussions of your ~dead~ mom, flowers and candles, smart suki and stupid sokka and zuko, and homoerotic, tender healing of wounds &lt;&lt; not in that particular order</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. i can't keep holding my breath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 17</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the southern raiders</p><p>only like 4k of a chapter, but here you go :)))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Having his Dad and Suki with him helps with a lot of things. Sokka doesn't know why, but it does. Surprisingly, Dad is actually really friendly to Zuko (much to Sokka's relief – he guesses that's what happens when you betray your evil nation and help save Sokka's dad, all while proving to everyone that you're trustworthy), and he even asks to see Zuko's swords. The next few days are fun, Katara even forgets to be mean to Zuko because of Dad here. And –</p><p>Sokka jolts awake to the unmistakable sound of a bomb hitting one of the upside down pagodas around them. Rubbing at his eyes, Sokka notices three Fire Nation airships in the air in front of them, throwing bombs toward them. He quickly stands up, fumbling with his sleeping bag, as Aang airbends the doors around them to slam shut.</p><p>The ceiling above them crumbles and Sokka sees some rocks about to fall into his sister, he makes to go push her out of the way but Zuko runs and pushes her, rolling on the floor just as the rocks hit where she was standing. Sokka breathes a sigh of relief, but he sees Katara glare at Zuko and angrily mutter something to him. Zuko turns to look at Sokka with a confused look on his face when Katara gets up and walks away from him. Sokka just shrugs in response.</p><p>A bomb is shot through the doors that Aang closed shut, and it nearly collides right into Sokka; he jumps away just in time, only to bang his head and cut his palm on the glass that shattered. Sokka hisses as blood drips down onto the floor, but he forgets about the injury when the ceiling shakes again.</p><p>Toph and Haru earthbend a tunnel so that they can escape. Sokka darts towards it with everyone else, his loose hair flying in his face. He turns around to make sure that his friends are all safe and are going through when he sees Zuko standing dramatically at the edge, facing the airships. </p><p>“Go ahead!” Sokka hears him say. “I’ll hold them off. I think this is a family visit.”</p><p>A family visit? But it can’t be Azula. It’s so unlike her to show up without a plan, just randomly throwing bombs at them. Something is off.</p><p>Zuko runs off and Sokka’s stomach drops. He’s not seriously thinking of trying to take them on single handedly. Is he?</p><p>Sokka tries not to watch as Zuko fights the airships, and focuses his attention on trying to get Appa into the tunnel. Unfortunately for them, Appa won’t budge.</p><p>Sokka thinks, his mind racing, and an idea comes to him, but it’s not a good one. They only just got everyone together again, Sokka has only just started to forget about the loss of the invasion, but he has to do what’s right.. “We need to split up,” he says reluctantly. “Take the tunnel and get to the stolen airship,” he tells Dad and the others.</p><p>“No!” Katara yells. “The Fire Nation can’t separate our family again!”</p><p>“It’ll be okay,” Dad says softly. “It’s not forever.”</p><p>Sokka hugs his sister and his dad before grabbing Suki and Toph’s hands and runs away from the tunnel. </p><p>Getting past Azula and flying away, all of them turn to see Zuko on top of another airship (he’s okay, he’s okay, he’s okay), staring determinedly at Azula. </p><p>More fire is shot at them, and Aang pulls the reins and dodges them. Sokka tries not to watch Zuko and Azula fighting, but he can’t tear his eyes away as both their fire fists connect and both of them fall off the airship.</p><p>Aang steers Appa in the direction of where Zuko is falling and Sokka grabs his hand, pulling him down onto the saddle. Sokka breathes a sigh of relief and squeezes Zuko’s hand without saying anything. Zuko lets him.</p><p>Zuko looks at Azula who is still falling. “She’s...not gonna make it,” he says, sounding slightly unsure of how he feels. Sokka squeezes his hand again; but Azuka takes her hair pin out, letting her long hair fly in the air, and saves herself. Zuko glares at her slowly disappearing figure. “Of course she did.”</p><p>Aang flies them to a secluded place with rocks around it, successfully hiding them. They unload their tents and sleeping bags, arranging them in a circle. Sokka walks away from the others, finding some sort of body of water to soothe the cut on his palm. He knows that Katara could easily do it, but she isn’t in the best of moods right now and Sokka would much rather spare himself the lecture.</p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka turns to see Zuko standing behind him, eyebrow furrowed. The sun lights up his face, brightening his eyes and turning his hair a golden brown.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he asks, giving a pointed look to Sokka’s bleeding hand.</p><p>Sokka winces. “I, um – I’m just cleaning this up.”</p><p>Zuko narrows his eyes. “Where did you get that?”</p><p>“I just – I just got hurt.”</p><p>“You’re not cleaning it up properly,” Zuko says roughly. He grabs Sokka, ignoring his yelp, and drags him back over to their campsite. “Stand here.” Zuko stops in front of their shared tent and enters, he comes back with some bandages and a bottle of something. </p><p>Sokka raises an eyebrow. “Where did you get any of that?”</p><p>“I came back from the Fire Nation, I brought supplies,” Zuko explains tersely. He pulls Sokka’s arm and drags him somewhere over to the side where they’re a little far away from everyone else, sitting and pulling Sokka down with him. “Lemme see,” Zuko demands, holding his hand out.</p><p>“You know I could just ask Katara –”</p><p>“Katara’s currently cooking very angrily, do you really want to go to her?” Zuko raises an eyebrow challengingly.</p><p>Sokka sighs and holds out his palm to show Zuko. Zuko carefully holds his hand, rubbing his thumb over the cut and examining it. It’s a bit bigger than Sokka had previously thought, but he’s fine. He’s suffered worse than just a slash across his hand. Zuko takes his weird bottle and pours some of whatever it is into Sokka’s hand, he slowly rubs it in, cleaning the blood. Sokka feels his cheeks heat as he watches Zuko clean the cut. He squirms, trying to look away but unable to tear his gaze from Zuko’s long fingers moving and carefully cleaning his cut.</p><p>“Hold still,” Zuko says, rubbing his thumb in circles. He looks up, eyes challenging (always a challenge. When is it not?). “I know what I’m doing, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka flushes even more at the look Zuko gives him, his dark eyelashes fluttering and his gold eyes twinkling. Sokka considers that maybe Zuko saying his name has the same effect on him that Sokka saying Zuko’s name has on Zuko.</p><p>Zuko takes the bandages and wraps them around Sokka’s palm, slowly and methodically. Sokka watches his long and nimble fingers do it; he traces every movement with his eyes.</p><p>Zuko finishes wrapping the bandages around his hand, and he lets go very slowly. He pulls his hands back but then seems to think better of it, and he reaches his right hand up to Sokka’s neck. His thumb brushes across the still pink scar under Sokka’s earlobe, rubbing back and forth gently. Sokka shivers despite Zuko being incredibly warm.</p><p>“I –” Zuko looks up at him, thumb still on the scar. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Sokka smiles slightly. “It’s okay, it’s kind of badass anyways.”</p><p>“No, I – I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Sokka opens his mouth to interrupt, but Zuko keeps going. “In any way. I didn’t want to hurt you, ever, at all. I think...I think being with you back in Ba Sing Se was the only time I’d felt truly happy since, I dunno, forever ago.”</p><p>Sokka grins. “It’s okay, I’m serious.” Zuko spares him a small smile.</p><p>He shakes himself off and starts to stand, but Zuko is already up, holding a hand out for him to grab. Sokka smiles softly and grasps Zuko’s hand, pulling himself up. </p><p>Sokka tries to say thanks but he falls while standing up, pushing both Zuko and him down. Zuko falls down onto his butt, and since he’s still holding Sokka’s hand, Sokka ends up in between his legs, his face inches from Zuko’s. Sokka licks his lips unconsciously, his eyes flicking down to Zuko’s lips. He looks from Zuko’s eyes to Zuko’s lips, going up and down. Zuko mirrors his movements, face red. Sokka clears his throat loudly and pushes himself up, muttering a quick sorry.</p><p>He sees Suki give him a knowing look before he excuses himself to go take a walk – by which he goes and finds the river and takes a swim (probably ruining the bandaging Zuko did oh so carefully for him). Sokka thinks of Zuko’s pink lips and his golden eyes and glowing hair, and he considers drowning himself.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Katara runs off, annoyed, Zuko follows her, confused, Sokka stares after them, more confused. All normal things for the Avatar and his friends. Sort of.</p><p>Sokka spends the rest of dinner wondering what Zuko and Suki were talking about. He’d seen Suki telling things to a red-faced Zuko, and they’d looked in his direction a lot. Sokka still hasn’t figured out what it means or why they did it.</p><p>“Sokka, can you do something for me?” Suki asks abruptly.</p><p>Sokka raises his eyebrows. “Sure?”</p><p>“I need you to find some candles...and maybe roses. Yeah roses are good too.”</p><p>“What,” Sokka says flatly, he doesn’t phrase it like a question.</p><p>“Just do it, please, Sokka.” Suki bats her lashes and Sokka rolls his eyes. “Just set them up in your tent nicely and do it.”</p><p>“But, I share my tent with Zuko so –”</p><p>“That’s not a problem,” Suki says quickly; and without further ado, she gets up, leaving Sokka very confused.</p><p>Sokka does exactly what she says, though, he gathers roses and finds some candles, setting them up nicely in his and Zuko’s tent. He doesn’t bother trying to look nice, he just lets his hair fall loose and takes off his pants. </p><p>The tent opens as Sokka’s attempting to light the last candle, his back to where the tent flap is. </p><p>“Suki, is that you? I don’t understand why you wanted me to do – oh!” Sokka turns around to find Zuko bending down to get into their tent. His face heats up when he realizes what this looks like. “Zuko!” he says, voice high pitched. “I – Suki told me to do this. I don’t – I dunno why.”</p><p>Zuko looks down awkwardly before sitting in front of Sokka, cross-legged, stiff, and proper – just like in Ba Sing Se.</p><p>Sokka raises his eyebrows. “What’s up?”</p><p>Zuko sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “Your sister. She hates me! And I don’t know why – well, I mean I kind of do, after what I did to you and – um, not the point –, I just – I do care what she thinks of me.”</p><p>Sokka scoffs. “Nah, she doesn't hate you. Katara doesn't hate anyone. Except maybe some people in the Fire Nation.” Sokka’s eyes widen when he realizes what he said. “No, I mean, uh, not people who are good, but used to be bad. I mean, bad people. Fire Nation people who are still bad, who've never been good and probably won’t be, ever!”</p><p>“Stop,” Zuko interrupts, saving him from more embarrassment. “Okay, listen. I know this may seem out of nowhere, but I want you to tell me what happened to your mother.”</p><p>Sokka furrows his brows, slightly taken aback. “What? Why would you want to know that?”</p><p>“Katara mentioned it before when we were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and again just now when she was yelling at me. I think somehow she's connected her anger at that to her anger at me,” Zuko explains.</p><p>Sokka looks down. “Well – it’s – it’s not a day I like to remember.”</p><p>Zuko hesitates for a moment before he slowly takes Sokka’s hand, Sokka holds it tightly.</p><p>“Many of the warriors had seen the black snow before and they knew what it meant: a Fire Nation raid.” Sokka takes a deep breath, shuddering. “We were badly outnumbered, but somehow, we managed to drive them off. As quickly as they came, they just left. I was so relieved when it was over, but that's because I didn't know yet what had happened. I didn't – I didn’t know we had lost our...mother.”</p><p>Zuko gives his hand two squeezes. “Can you – can you remember any details about the soldiers who raided your village? Like what the lead ship looked like?”</p><p>Sokka takes another deep breath. “Yeah...sea ravens. The main ship had flags with sea ravens on them.”</p><p>“The symbol of the Southern Raiders,” Zuko mutters. He looks back up at Sokka. “Thanks, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka manages a small smile. “No problem. Now help me clean all this shit Suki told me to set up, and then we can sleep.”</p><p>Zuko snorts and easily un-lights all the candles, helping him move the roses and petals away. When the final light is snuffed out, Sokka sets up their sleeping bags and tries to sleep.</p><p>“Is Suki your girlfriend?” Zuko blurts out.</p><p>Sokka snorts. “No way, she’s got her own girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love Suki, but we aren’t like that.”</p><p>“Oh,” Zuko says softly. And then, “So why did she make you set this up?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “I don’t know, she just told me to.”</p><p>Zuko hums, and they fall back into silence. </p><p>Sokka turns onto his side and looks at Zuko’s back. “Y’know, you’re kind of like a boomerang.”</p><p>“A boomerang?” Zuko repeats, turning to his other side so he’s looking at Sokka. Sokka can’t see his face, but he knows that Zuko is raising an eyebrow with a smile on his face.</p><p>“Yeah. You always come back.”</p><p>“I ‘always come back’?”</p><p>Sokka nods. “Back when you were chasing us, you’d always be back; and then after...Ba Sing Se, you came back; and every time it seems like we’re not going to see you again, you come back. Like a boomerang.”</p><p>“Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”</p><p>“A good thing! Boomerangs are cool.”</p><p>“And I’m cool?” Sokka can practically hear the smirk in his voice.</p><p>“I take back everything I just said.”</p><p>“Mmm, too late.”</p><p>Sokka grins even though he knows Zuko can’t see it. The silence isn’t uncomfortable, it’s nothing like the balloon ride to the Boiling Rock, Sokka’s grin widens.</p><p>“You’re Private Wang Fire, aren’t you?” Zuko asks into the darkness.</p><p>“What? How did you know?” Sokka says in disbelief. “How do you even know about him?”</p><p>Zuko laughs. “I’ve seen pictures, and some people on the beach were talking about ‘the legendary Private Fire’, I saw a picture and immediately recognized it was you.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Your eyes,” Zuko responds easily. “Barely anyone in the Fire Nation has blue eyes, and you barely changed anything about how you looked.” Zuko pauses. “You look good in Fire Nation colours.”</p><p>Sokka can’t fight the grin that spreads on his face and warms him from head to toe. “Is that a compliment?”</p><p>“Oh, shut up.”</p><p>“Oh, but, <em> Li </em>, I cannot. You have graced me with the sweetest of compliments and I am now swooning.”</p><p>“Go to sleep, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka smiles wider, his face warm. He kicks Zuko’s ankle lightly before turning away and falling asleep easily, dreaming of the colour gold.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Katara is pacing. She is pacing. The problem is, Katara never paces.</p><p>“Katara?” Sokka asks, confused. She doesn’t answer him. Sokka has no clue what’s happened, all he knows is that in the middle of the night, Zuko left their tent and didn’t come back. And Sokka saw him speak to Katara this morning and then he saw Katara walk away, deep in thought, and now she is pacing. “Katara,” he repeats. “What is wrong with you?”</p><p>“He could be lying...it could be a trick...but...do I even…”</p><p>“Katara, <em> what </em> is this about?”</p><p>Katara glares at him. “What is what about?”</p><p>A million things, honestly, but Sokka says the first one that comes to mind, “Zuko. What is this whole thing you’re upset about with him really about?”</p><p>Katara looks at him fiercely. “What do you mean? You mean why I don’t trust him?”</p><p>“Yeah. He’s proven that he’s trustworthy and –”</p><p>“Don’t even try, Sokka! He – you trusted him first. Okay? I know you did. Don’t you understand, though? What he did? After what happened to Yue, you hid your feelings and you joked around to pretend you were fine. And then with ‘Li’, you were back to yourself. You were happy. I saw it, Sokka. And then he went and betrayed us in the catacombs. You didn’t see it, Sokka, but you weren’t the same during that time after. You tried to hide it, but I could tell. Spirits, Sokka you were broken. He hurt you! And you expect me to forgive him after all of that?”</p><p>“Katara –”</p><p>“Remember when Aang wouldn’t wake up? And I tried but I couldn’t get it out of my head that he didn’t matter to me because I almost used the spirit water on Zuko. Zuko hurt us back in Ba Sing Se. And he lied, he lied to me about his mother to lure me into –”</p><p>“He wasn’t lying,” Sokka interrupts.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“He wasn’t lying about his mom,” Sokka says again. “And he wasn’t luring you into a false sense of security, Kat. Look, I’m not justifying his actions. I was hurt – I still am – by what he did, but he figured it out and he’s here now.”</p><p>Katara doesn't say anything.</p><p>Sokka takes a step closer. "Tara, he's the reason Dad was brought back to us. Even for just a little bit."</p><p>"He's also the reason that we separated from Dad again!"</p><p>"Katara," Sokka says, voice even, "that isn't his fault. It's Azula's fault, or at least all of our fault because we decided to stay at the temple after Zuko found us."</p><p>Katara huffs. "Sokka –"</p><p>"Kat, I understand that you're hurt. You have every right to be, but he's <em>trying</em>. Don't you think he at least deserves the benefit of the doubt?" Sokka puts a hand on her shoulder. "I'm trying not to hold a grudge, Katara, even though he hurt me, because after everything he's done for us, he deserves it." He says it all out loud, but he can't help but wonder if he actually means it.</p><p>“You – that doesn’t change the fact that Mom –” Katara groans. “How can you trust him? He lied to you! How can you trust someone who has lied to you?” Katara yells.</p><p>Sokka steps back a few steps and looks down. How can he?</p><p>But the answer is easy; because he sees Zuko and he loves the way his face lights up, and he loves his awkwardness. Because Sokka looks at him and he just wants to hold him forever, and be held by him. He wants to hold on as long as he can, and then let go and find him again. Because he can’t hate what makes him whole. Because...because Sokka can’t bear to be parted from him again.</p><p>“I trust him because I know him,” says Sokka instead, not voicing his true thoughts.</p><p>“No!” Katara yells. “You don’t understand, Sokka.” She walks up to him and places her hands on his forearms. “I see you in her. Every day. Sokka, you look just like her. Do you know how hard it is to see that? Everyone says you look just like Dad, but, Sokka...you look just like Mom. And I have to see it, live through it, every single day. And I know that, just like her, you wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice yourself for anyone you care about. Which includes him. Zuko. And I don’t trust him for that. You almost lost your spark, what makes you you, when he betrayed you; I don’t wanna see that again. I can't see that again.” She blinks up at him, gaze hard. “You care about him too much. You care for people in the same way Mom did, I don’t want you hurt.”</p><p>She storms off without another word. Sokka stares after her.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka finds himself with Aang, running after her to stop her. He listens to Aang give her the advice, and he agrees with it, he does. It's just...Sokka doesn't want to forgive the man who killed his mother, he doesn't think he should, that Katara should. Aang is making sense, of course, but is forgiving a person who killed your mother the best idea? It isn't like forgiving Zuko, because Zuko didn't <em>kill</em> Mom, but this captain of the Southern Raiders, he –</p><p>“Then you didn’t love her the way I did!”</p><p>Sokka flinches, hurt slicing through his heart. “Katara –” He tries to speak but the words don’t come out properly. </p><p>He knows, he knows what she means. After Mom died, all the responsibilities were practically up to her. She stepped up and she was amazing. Sokka took that for granted, he did, and he knows that after everything that Katara has had to do for their family, she barely got to grieve and they all...they all took her for granted, it seemed like they’d forgotten about Mom. Didn’t Sokka admit it himself? He was nine when she’d died and he can barely remember her face? Katara heard that, he knows she did. Katara didn’t mean it that way, she’s rage-filled, on a rampage, like Jet (Sokka doesn’t want her to go down his path, it took him too long to change and then look what happened to him). </p><p>None of that stops it from hurting, though. </p><p>This isn’t what he’d wanted when he told Zuko about Mom. He didn’t mean for Zuko to go help Katara hunt down their mother’s killer. Does Sokka want him dead? Of course he does. Doesn’t he? But he would never – he would never want to do this.</p><p>Katara gets on Appa, but Zuko hesitates and he walks over to Sokka, pulling him to the side.</p><p>Zuko rests a hand on Sokka’s arm. “You’re...are you...mad? At me?”</p><p>Sokka catches Katara giving them both a dirty look, he looks away. “No. Kind of. Do I want you to go on a killing spree with my baby sister? No. Do I think she needs the closure? I guess. Do I like this one bit? Absolutely not.”</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“Just. Just take care of her, okay, jerkbender? Take care of her.”</p><p>Zuko nods firmly before turning away. Sokka catches his wrist before he can stop himself.</p><p>“Zuko? Take – take care of yourself too.”</p><p>Zuko smiles slightly, nodding, before he turns away.</p><p>Sokka watches them leave, his mouth pressed into a thin line, and then before he knows it, he’s running away somewhere where hopefully nobody will bother him.</p><p>Sokka stares into the river, examining his face. He tries, desperately, to recall what she looked like. To see if he does look like her. He can’t, no matter how hard he tries, see exactly what she looked like. Did he block out the way she looked because he saw herself in him? </p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka intends to find her, but she finds him. </p><p>Zuko and Katara had returned earlier and Katara had disappeared. Sokka let her have some time before he went to look for her, but she finds him first.</p><p>Katara runs towards him and hugs him tightly, she wraps her arms around him and cries into his shoulder. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she says over and over again.</p><p>“I know,” Sokka says because it’s all he can say.</p><p>“I should never have said that,” Katara says between sobs. “I know you love her, I know you do.” She looks up at him with bright blue eyes. “I just – you never show it, you act as though it’s all fine.”</p><p>“It’s easier that way, Kat, it’s so much easier for me that way,” Sokka tells her. “I’m not like you, I can’t just talk about it like you can. It’s too hard for me.”</p><p>“You’re never going to grieve that way, Sokka! You need to talk about it.”</p><p>“Maybe.” Sokka shrugs. “But I’m...not ready yet.”</p><p>Katara nods and doesn’t say anything else.</p><p>“You didn’t kill him, did you?” Sokka asks after a few minutes, already knowing the answer.</p><p>“No, I didn’t.”</p><p>“But you didn’t forgive him either.”</p><p>Katara shakes her head. “How could I? He killed her! I couldn’t forgive him. But I couldn’t kill him either.”</p><p>“I know,” Sokka says soothingly. “You made the right decision.”</p><p>Katara holds him tighter, and Sokka lets her sob into his shoulder. </p><p>“Do you remember what Mama used to say to us when we couldn’t sleep?”</p><p>“Sokka, we haven’t called her that since –”</p><p>Sokka shakes his head. “Shh; do you remember?”</p><p>Katara nods, rubbing at her eyes. “Mama used to take us outside and wrap us in furs, looking at the sky, and she’d say: ‘The sky is awake, it’s awake so you don’t have to be, my little snow angels. The sky is always awake, and sometimes that can make you want to wake with it, but sleep is important, loves.’”</p><p>“And then…?”</p><p>“She used to hum,” Katara says. “She’d hum until we’d fall asleep and she would carry us inside, and we would all squeeze into the small bed with her and Dad.”</p><p>Sokka smiles. “Yeah.” </p><p>Sokka doesn’t remember his mom. Except for the times he does. Sometimes. “She always had warm hands, do you remember?”</p><p>“Yeah, I do.” Katara hugs him tighter and Sokka lets her tears soak his clothes. He hears his mother humming in his head as he hugs his sister.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>it is so funny to me how they needed to get rid of hakoda, chit sang, haru, the duke, and teo so they literally just let them like “escape”??? where were they gonna go?? what were they gonna do???</p><p>would like to clear something up — suki talked to zuko because she totally know about zuko’s crush on sokka that he is denying but is also not denying at the same time and zuko told suki (because i live for zuko and suki friendship) about katara’s mom and shit and then suki told him to ask sokka later today some time in the night and then she tells sokka to do that rose candle romantic thing thinking it’ll get thin to admit their feelings but the boys are dUmb</p><p>next chapter features: *dramatic theater ms darbus voice* the theAter, the moon, and idiots being idiots</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. new wave, no time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 18</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during the ember island players</p><p>y'all we are so close to being done, like i am s c a r e. if i can keep the update schedule right then we'll finish on like march 5th or smth but who knows</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Camping the entire time before Sozin’s Comet probably isn’t a good idea, so Zuko suggests they go to Ember Island. He assures them that nobody will find them, and that nobody even lives at the house anymore. The house still gives Sokka the creeps, despite Zuko’s reassurance (he pretends not to notice the way Zuko swallows hardly when he looks up at the house). All the same, they redon their Fire Nation disguises. Sokka thinks he catches Zuko staring at him when he emerges in his Fire Nation clothes, and he has to duck his head to hide the flush on his cheeks and the smile on his face.</p><p>Suki, who is currently in Boiling Rock prisoner clothes, doesn’t have a Fire Nation disguise. Sokka volunteers to help her find one (by which he means steal one).</p><p>Sokka is glad he decided to wander around Ember Island with Suki; they get her disguise and buy some fire flakes </p><p>(burning Sokka’s tongue in the process), eating them while exploring Ember Island. Sokka is less glad when Suki starts to talk about Zuko.</p><p>“Suki, come on. Drop it,” Sokka says irritatedly.</p><p>Suki places her hands on her hips. “No. We’re going to keep talking about it.” Sokka groans, but Suki ignores him. “You’re telling me that you guys were practically dating in Ba Sing Se and you still haven’t talked about it?”</p><p>“We weren’t practically dating!” Sokka shouts indignantly. “And no, we haven’t talked about it. Properly.” Suki gives him a look that makes him want to shrink. “There hasn’t been time to! Look, Sukes, there is <em> a lot </em> going on right now, Zuko and I don’t need to talk about it. I’ve made my peace with that fact.”</p><p>“You want to talk about it, don’t you?”</p><p>“Yes!” Sokka admits reluctantly. “I dunno what was going on in Ba Sing Se; what the hell we were, why we never talked about what happened in the events prior to me finding him, what we told each other, why I...trusted him...and why he trusted me. I don’t know what any of that was, but I know that both Zuko and I have too many things on our plates right now to talk about it.”</p><p>Suki puts her hands on his shoulders. “Sokka,” she says softly. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”</p><p>“It was just – it was easy, Sukes,” Sokka says. “It was so easy to fall into whatever we were, it was easy to pretend that nothing had happened. It was so easy. I don’t know why, or how.”</p><p>“So talk to him about it,” insists Suki.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p> “You won’t talk to him about anything important, but you two have time to talk about boomerangs?”</p><p>“You heard that?”</p><p>“Sokka, we all heard it.” Suki laughs slightly at Sokka’s embarrassed expression. “But that is not the point. The point is that you two need to figure out what the fuck happened in Ba Sing Se, and talk about your feelings.”</p><p>“Yeah, but – wait, what feelings?”</p><p>Suki groans loudly.</p><p>“What feelings, Suki?” Sokka asks persistently. Suki just slaps a hand to her forehead and walks away, leaving Sokka puzzled.</p><p>“Now I understand why Katara hates both of you!”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“You guys are not gonna believe this!” Sokka yells the second they return to the gang. “There’s a play about us.”</p><p>“We were just in town and we found this poster,” Suki explains as Sokka holds up the poster. The illustrations aren’t the best, but some people aren’t that good at art – they shouldn’t judge (Sokka understands being judged on art all too well).</p><p>“What? How is that possible?” Katara asks.</p><p>Sokka clears his throat and turns the poster to himself. Listen to this: ‘<em> The Boy in the Iceberg </em> is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu-on Tim, who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar, from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war, and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage.’”</p><p>“‘Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players.’” Suki finishes for him.</p><p>Zuko groans loudly. “Ugh, my mother used to take us to see them. They butchered <em> Love Amongst the Dragons </em> every year.”</p><p>Sokka recalls a memory of him picking up an adaptation of <em> Love Amongst the Dragons </em> back in Ba Sing Se for Zuko, but Zuko said they’d ruined it. Sokka wonders what the actual <em> Love Amongst the Dragons </em> is like. But all his thoughts seem to disappear as he takes in Zuko sitting down with a towel, wiping his hair, and sitting shirtless. It is really unfair for someone to be so...hot, and ripped, and beautiful all at the same time. Zuko looks up and catches Sokka staring before Sokka can look away. Zuko’s face turns red very fast and he looks away, smiling just a little bit (Sokka has absolutely no clue why), and Sokka feels his own cheeks heat.</p><p>Katara smiles wickedly. “Sokka, are you looking at –”</p><p>Sokka turns abruptly, glaring at his sister. Katara only smiles back in her horrible way. Then she asks, “I mean, do you really think it’s a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?”</p><p>Sokka blinks, face heating. “What? Oh, um. Yes! Yes, of course.” His voice is high pitched. It should not be high pitched. “Come on, a day at the theater? This is the kind of wacky, time wasting nonsense I’ve been missing!” He holds up the poster, grinning, but Katara looks nonplussed. Sokka’s grin falters, he turns to Zuko. “Zuko, tell her! We went to a play in Ba Sing Se, remember?”</p><p>Zuko looks up, his face still pink. “Yeah,” he says slowly, “but that was a <em> good </em> play. The Ember Island Players always ruin stories, for all you know, they might just make Toph able to see.”</p><p>“It won’t hurt to try!”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka soon regrets that statement, it really hurts to try.</p><p>Sokka sits down in the middle of Suki and Zuko in the back row, rubbing his hands excitedly. Suki snorts and Zuko just rolls his eyes fondly, Sokka gives them both a grin. </p><p>“Why are we sitting in the nosebleed section? My feet can’t see a thing from up here!” Toph complains.</p><p>Katara smiles slightly. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell your feet what’s happening.”</p><p>But, see, it turns out...that the Ember Island Players are horrible. They cast a far too old, mature, and sexualized woman for Katara and some tall, ugly, unfunny guy for Sokka. They couldn’t even match his skin tone! When Sokka complains about said things, Zuko just smirks and whispers, “I told you so.” Sokka elbows him.</p><p>Actor Sokka only makes jokes about meat! How dare the writers ruin him like that? It’s like they’ve never met him.</p><p>“Sokka, they haven’t met you,” Zuko points out.</p><p>“I think he’s got you pegged!” Toph tells him, laughing. She even gets Zuko to laugh.</p><p>“We’ll see how much you laugh when you’re introduced,” Sokka tells Zuko spitefully.</p><p>Actress Katara makes some emotional speech that Sokka, even though he loves his sister, has to admit is pretty accurate. Suki holds a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh but unable to suppress some giggles.</p><p>Katara crosses her arms. “Well, that’s just silly. I don’t sound like that.”</p><p>“Oh, man,” Toph says, elated. “This writer’s a genius.”</p><p>Sokka has to disagree with her on that one.</p><p>His slightly annoyed mood completely disappears when he sees the actor for Zuko. This one is definitely spot on.</p><p>“They make me look totally stiff and humourless,” Zuko complains.</p><p>Katara smirks smugly. “Actually, I think that actor’s pretty spot on.”</p><p>Zuko glares at her. “How could you say that?”</p><p>“Let’s forget about the Avatar and get massages!” Actor Iroh says.</p><p>Fake Zuko turns his head (it becomes clear to Sokka that his scar is on the wrong side, Zuko seems to notice if his annoyed look is anything). “How could you say that?” he asks incredulously, a perfect imitation of what Zuko said just now. Sokka doesn’t bother hiding his laughter this time, even after Zuko kicks him.</p><p>When they get to the part where Sokka, Aang, and Katara meet Jet, Sokka smiles widely and smugly at Zuko. Especially when Actress Katara says, “Oh, Jet, you’re so bad.”</p><p>Sokka nudges Zuko. “That sounds a bit familiar,” he says, faking thoughtfulness. “But who else said something like that? Who else fell for Jet?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Zuko hisses, face red.</p><p>Katara and Aang turn around to look at them. “What do you mean?” Aang asks.</p><p>“Nothing!” Zuko says hurriedly. “Sokka was just –”</p><p>Sokka cuts across him. “Well, you see, dearest friends of mine, Zuko and Jet met on the ferry to Ba Sing Se and they fell in lo – mmph!” He’s interrupted by Zuko covering Sokka’s mouth with his hand. Sokka struggles against Zuko’s vice-like grip on him.</p><p>“He’s lying!” Zuko whisper-yells. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”</p><p>Aang and Katara seem to take pity on Zuko, but Toph's wide grin tells him it’s clear she’ll be using that as blackmail material later.</p><p>Sokka smiles at Zuko, all teeth, and Zuko just glares at him.</p><p>Sokka feels two hands squeezing both of his when Yue's scene comes on, and he doesn’t look at Suki and Zuko, he just squeezes back.</p><p>Sokka is almost relieved when the intermission starts. All of them go and sit on some stairs outside, Sokka holding a bag of food.</p><p>“So far, this intermission is the best part of the play,” Zuko says, leaning against the railing with his hood up (ever the dramatic one).</p><p>There’s a chorus of complaints about the play (save for Toph), and when they go back, Sokka doesn’t even want to pay attention. </p><p>The problem comes when they get to Ba Sing Se.</p><p>Actor for Sokka wanders the streets of Ba Sing Se and then finds a tea shop (Sokka has a sinking feeling). And then it goes, there it is – whatever happened in Ba Sing Se between them.</p><p>Zuko goes rigid next to him when their actors start talking, and Sokka doesn’t even want to listen to what they’re saying. That is...until he hears <em> this </em> part.</p><p>“I can’t believe you’ve followed us here too!” Actor Sokka yells.</p><p>Actor Zuko laughs loudly and evilly. “Yes! I have. But you can’t tell anyone I’m here.”</p><p>Actor Sokka shrugs. “I guess the only solution is for us to fall in love so that nobody finds out you’re here.”</p><p>“That seems to be the only option.”</p><p>“As long as you give me good meat, I won’t say anything.”</p><p>Sokka feels his face go hot, and he can feel heat <em> radiating </em> off of Zuko. That’s...that’s not what happened! </p><p>All of their friends (save for Toph, as usual) turn to look at Sokka and Zuko, and Sokka would like to shrink and run away.</p><p>At everyone’s raised eyebrows, Sokka rubs the back of his neck. “That’s not what happened! We didn’t –”</p><p>Zuko nods frantically. “We weren’t – that wasn’t –”</p><p>“Eh,” Toph shrugs, “that seems pretty accurate. That’s pretty much exactly what happened.”</p><p>Sokka slaps a hand to his forehead, and Zuko puts his hood up, burying his face in his hands. Their two actors are shown going on dates, and Sokka feels his stomach twist into a knot. He's over Ba Sing Se, mostly, but this hurts so bad and he doesn't know why. He's just being stupid. </p><p>When they get to the catacombs, Sokka starts to get really antsy. He doesn’t...he doesn’t want to have to relive what happened then. He hasn’t even fully made peace with it yet.</p><p>“I have to admit, Prince Zuko,” Actress Katara says. “I can understand what my brother sees in you.”</p><p>“Your brother?” Fake Zuko questions.</p><p>“Yes, Sokka, the one you’re dating.”</p><p>“Oh. Him.”</p><p>Actress Katara nods. “You know, he was convinced that you were on our side because of your little romantic relationship.”</p><p>Actor Zuko laughs. “Him? No, our ‘relationship’ does not matter to me! I am merely using him, he never saw it coming!”</p><p>Sokka freezes. Logically, he knows that Zuko never said this (never <em> thought </em> this), but what <em> did </em> Zuko actually think? What were they to each other? Why did Sokka not matter to him in the end (<em>y</em><em>ou did, obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t be here right now with you</em>)? Did –</p><p>Sokka’s thoughts are interrupted by the actor for Zuko yelling at Iroh, and saying that he hates him.</p><p>Katara looks up at Zuko. “You didn’t really say that did you – say <em> any </em> of it?” Sokka knows she’s not just talking about Iroh.</p><p>Zuko looks at Sokka for a second before looking down, frowning. “I might as well have.”</p><p>And that, in and of itself, is enough for Sokka (it’s too much already – how could Sokka have just – and Zuko – then the Boiling Rock – but what was –). He takes a deep breath and gets up, leaving, pretending not to notice Zuko’s eyes on him.</p><p>The air outside refreshes and soothes Sokka, blowing his wolf-tail. He leans against a railing looking over the beach, folding his arms and closing his eyes.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t know why he’s out here. He just knows that, even if he wanted to go to the play, he doesn’t want to be in that theater anymore. Ba Sing Se...and the catacombs...and everything after and in between. They never even fully talked about it.</p><p>Sokka hears footsteps behind him (he knows they’re Zuko’s, of course they are).</p><p>“Hi,” Zuko says softly, standing next to him.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“The, uh, the moon is really pretty tonight.”</p><p>“Yeah, she is,” says Sokka flatly. To his relief, Zuko doesn’t mention Yue and Sokka’s reaction during the play.</p><p>“Sokka...Sokka, are you okay?” Zuko asks, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You...you ran off, and I just want to see what’s wrong.”</p><p>Sokka shakes his head, unable to look into Zuko’s warm and welcoming and bright eyes. “Nothing, it’s just – it’s the play, I guess.” Zuko doesn’t respond. “I just – Ba Sing Se, and the catacombs.”</p><p>Zuko’s hand tightens on his shoulder. “Sokka, the play isn’t real.”</p><p>“I know. And it was my idea to come. But –”</p><p>“I didn’t say any of that, idiot.” Zuko forcefully (but <em> somehow </em>gently because he's <em>Zuko</em>) turns Sokka’s head so he has to look into Zuko’s eyes. “In the catacombs I didn’t say any of that stuff about you. I didn’t even talk about you.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I –” Sokka frowns. “What did we – what did we do in Ba Sing Se? Zuko, what – what was that?”</p><p>Zuko falters. “I – I – I don’t – it was just –”</p><p>“Did you – did you – did you tell me those things, say all those things, do all those things, knowing that you would – that if the opportunity presented itself, you would choose Azula?” The question blurts out of his mouth before he can stop himself.</p><p>“Sokka,” Zuko squeezes his shoulder, “I didn’t think about that at all. I didn’t know that – that Azula would – I had thought that I could just live in Ba Sing Se.”</p><p>Something flares inside Sokka. He doesn’t know what it is. “But you did! You had to have! You knew that Aang was in Ba Sing Se. You – I was there, you spent everyday with me. You’re telling me that you didn’t even think about trying to capture the Avatar?”</p><p>Zuko looks down. “Well, I – of course I did, I had a plan. I was going to answer your questions and make you think that I was following along with your plan, and then I would go and find the Avatar and somehow make it to the Fire Nation to restore my honour. But...but you – you stopped me.”</p><p>“I...stopped you?”</p><p>Zuko lets out a frustrated groan. “Not on purpose, I guess, but I couldn’t follow my plan because I started to – to – uhm, well – to think about you.”</p><p>“Think about me?” Sokka pauses. “So everything that you said, and all that –”</p><p>“I told you everything and I let myself open up because I thought that there wouldn’t be consequences!” Zuko responds, slight edge to his voice. “I didn’t think I would get attached, it had felt – felt good to tell someone those things even though I probably – probably shouldn’t have. I fell in –” Zuko cuts off abruptly, eyes wide. “I – I fell.”</p><p>But does he mean – he can’t possibly – all of this, through all of this, Sokka has asked himself what he was with Zuko, what they were. But he’d never thought – he’d realized, early on, that the word “friend” didn’t describe their little “relationship” right, but that’s not what he – does Zuko – does Sokka – it doesn’t make sense.</p><p>Memories from Ba Sing Se and the Boiling Rock and everything flit in and out of his mind. None of it could have meant – he doesn’t understand. Is there something that – it doesn’t make sense. What is – what is Sokka supposed to think, supposed to say? They were never – all those times they never really knew if that was –</p><p>“You did all these things, Sokka. You wouldn’t – you wouldn’t shut up; you wanted to learn everything about me; you gave me stupid things and danced with me stupidly; you helped me remember how to touch and to feel, how not to shy away. You did...everything.”</p><p>But...but does he – </p><p>Zuko continues after Sokka’s moments of silence. “I didn’t know why you were – if you were doing it for your ‘plan’, or –”</p><p>“It wasn’t for the plan,” Sokka interrupts. “I wasn’t supposed to do that, but you – you – I fell too.” He looks up at Zuko, eyes wide. This is – Sokka doesn’t know if he’s ever felt like this before. If – he doesn’t even know what any of it means. It just...feels right, maybe, to say it like that. Does Zuko mean it in the way Sokka sort of feels it? Does Zuko get those same, those same swarming butterflies? Did Zuko think about him every waking – and sleeping – moment when he was in the Fire Nation?</p><p>“In the Fire Nation,” continues Zuko, “I couldn’t stop thinking about what I did. It haunted me – you...you haunted me? – I don’t know, but –”</p><p>“But I...” Sokka looks down, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to make some sense out of any of this. “Now...now what? I – I don’t know. Am I – after everything that you did...am I forgiving you?”</p><p>Zuko frowns. “I thought you <em> had</em>...forgiven me.”</p><p>“I did!” Sokka looks back up. “But you...you betrayed me, and I – did I just – we didn’t talk about it. We haven’t talked about it.”</p><p>“Are you...saying you don’t trust me?”</p><p>“No! Yes? I don’t know!” He takes a deep breath. “After you betrayed me – us – I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I dunno, you just – everything in the Fire Nation would remind me of you.”</p><p>“In the – in the Fire Nation,” Zuko says, “I hated it all. I didn’t feel right. You...and Uncle...” Zuko starts to look worried. “I’m...I’m really sorry, Sokka, for what I did. I’m trying, okay? I’m trying to make it all better. I’m sorry. You...you were part of the reason that I couldn’t stand it in Caldera. I didn’t feel right.”</p><p>“Then what were we, Zuko?” Sokka interrupts because suddenly, he really needs to know the answer. Does Zuko –</p><p>“I –”</p><p>Where <em> does </em> he actually <em> stand </em>with Zuko? </p><p>“What were we?” Sokka repeats. “What were we? Why did all of that happen in Ba Sing Se? I –” Without thinking at all, Sokka takes both of his hands and places them on either side of Zuko’s face gently. He rubs his thumb back and forth, his mind swimming with emotions and confusion. The question seems so urgent, so important. Are they – were they – was it –</p><p>“Sokka, I – I – Ba Sing Se was confusing,” says Zuko. “You...I didn’t understand it, or how you –”</p><p>“How I what?” Sokka asks, brows furrowed. He frowns, heart pounding. Can Zuko hear it? Zuko has to be able to hear it, it's so loud. “Please, Zuko, I have spent – spent so freaking long trying to figure out what I – what we – what we were. I – please tell me. What were we?”</p><p>What if he falls?</p><p>Did he fall already?</p><p>Did he fall?</p><p>But – but –</p><p>“What <em> are </em> we?” Sokka breathes in deeply, blinking up at Zuko. He brushes his thumb across Zuko’s scar gently, and Zuko leans into the touch, closing his eyes for a second. Zuko sighs quietly, and he places his hands over Sokka’s. “Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko’s eyes snap open, and he looks confused, scared. “I –”</p><p>Sokka’s heart seems to sink. What was he even asking? He hadn’t thought about it properly. Does he – does he want that? Is that what – Sokka doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand this. He doesn’t understand his – his – his...feelings (it’s scary thinking that word. With Zuko it was always just whatever, he never needed to think about it. But now...now he has to confront it. Doesn’t he? He’d never thought about it this...way). </p><p>He pulls his hands away slowly, letting out a deep breath – it was unfair of him to ask something he wasn’t even sure of himself, even more unfair to ask it so vaguely.</p><p>Sokka slowly lets his fingers fall, the touch lingering for too long (too long to be allowed, he shouldn’t be allowed to do this – to feel this – with Zuko).</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>Sokka closes his eyes. “I’m gonna – I’m gonna stay here for a while. I, um, don’t really want to have a recap of the events that happened after Ba Sing Se; but you should go watch the play and, uh, make fun of it for me. Attempt some humour for once.”</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“Please, Zuko.”</p><p>Zuko’s hand trails down and hesitates, as though he means to grab Sokka’s hand. He doesn’t grab it. Sokka can feel his hands a centimeter from Sokka’s, a ghost of a touch, before he turns and leaves.</p><p>Sokka watches him go, confused and annoyed at himself, Zuko’s light touch still haunting him.</p><p>He looks back up at the moon, putting his face in his hands. “Why do I always mess everything up, Yue? Spirits, I’m so – this is so stupid! What am I thinking? I can’t possibly – and he definitely can’t –” Sokka slaps a hand to his forehead. “Tui and La, I’m so confused!”</p><p>Yue just shines brightly back up at him.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka returns and takes his place in between Suki and Zuko, pulling his knees up to his chest (he can feel both of their eyes boring into his and he would very much like to die). Aang gives him a quick recap of what he missed, and the Ember Island version of the invasion starts.</p><p>Sokka can’t help but crack a smile when his actor makes a joke that he would definitely say.</p><p>Suki leans in and whispers, “Zuko, Toph, and I went backstage to give the actor some jokes you would say.”</p><p>Sokka spares her a grin before flicking his eyes to Zuko. He looks back down, confused as to why his heart jumps every time he sees Zuko. Their interaction at the balcony...it was confusing. Sokka hadn’t been thinking straight. He didn’t seem like himself. It was all too confusing. Zuko...Zuko makes things confusing. He’d thought they were fine, but maybe Sokka had just thought that because he was too scared to actually confront anything that he was feeling.</p><p>Suki nudges him. “Is everything okay, Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka wants to tell her how confused he is, how he doesn’t know what’s going on, how Zuko makes him feel; but he can’t. That’s the problem, that’s always the problem, he can never actually tell anyone what he is feeling. </p><p>He just shrugs in response. “I dunno, Suki. I’m just...just a little confused.”</p><p>To his relief, she doesn’t press him for more answers; and the rest of the stupid play (that actually has pretty good effects, Sokka hates to admit) passes by. Sokka is almost grateful for it to be over – scratch that, he is grateful.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka can’t sleep when they get back to the house. He tosses and turns, eventually letting out an annoyed huff and getting up to wander around.</p><p>The Fire Lord’s house is actually pretty interesting, it draws Sokka in. The architecture is kind of nice, and even though they don’t sleep inside the house (it’s too scary, and they all saw the way Zuko looked up at it – they weren’t letting him sleep in there), Sokka still wants to explore it.</p><p>He enters a dusty, large room, and the first thing he notices is an empty space on the wall above a dresser, like somebody took a picture frame away. Sokka walks towards the dresser, his fingers ghosting over the top, before he opens a drawer. He finds some pictures, maybe a book and a few ink brushes. Picking up the first picture he sees, Sokka dusts it off and reads the back of it: <em> and Prince Zuko </em>.</p><p>It’s torn down the middle, and singed slightly, Sokka turns it around to find a young boy who looks like Zuko, hair in a ponytail and a gentle, bright smile. He’s holding a little girl’s hand, Sokka can only see her shoulder and her arm– but there’s another hand on the little girl’s shoulder that isn’t the boy’s. A large but not too large hand of a  boy whose hands look like a teenager’s. Sokka doesn’t know who the teenage boy is – was? –, but he knows it, somehow, that the little girl is Azula. He thinks back to a time when Zuko told him how at one point, Azula was his little sister and he...loved her.</p><p>Sokka traces his finger over the picture, and then places his thumb over the small Zuko’s left eye. He removes his thumb and looks at the picture, tilting his head. The picture sends something through his heart, it hurts slightly to look at it – he doesn’t know why.</p><p>Sokka puts the picture back, but not before giving it one last look.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lol that's fun</p><p>sokka asking zuko to tell him what they were randomly and practically only waiting like ten seconds was absolutely inspired by when gilbert went to anne in the tv show anne with an e and he gave her “all of thirty seconds to decide her entire future!” if you know what i’m talking about i hope you know i love you</p><p>i absolutely hated this chapter it was one of my least favourite chapters to write and it was the worst thing ever so i hope you do not hate this messily written, awful chapter that i wrote while procrastinating doing my work.</p><p>next chapter features: bonding on ember island, stargazing, and your good old fashioned bisexual disaster sokka</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. red velvet under pressure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 19</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set in between the ember island players and sozin's comet</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Sokka has a problem.</p><p>Well. He almost always has a problem. But this time his problem is sort of mental breakdown worthy.</p><p>See, he had realized a long time ago that the word “friend” just didn’t fit his relationship with Zuko. That realization, though, didn’t make him think about Zuko day and night. And that realization didn’t exactly freak him out. Plus, he’d realized it pretty quickly; there was just less confusion then.</p><p>Now, though...now he is extremely confused and has no clue why.</p><p>Sokka finds himself practically drinking in everything about Zuko (he sort of did that before, but he’s only just now noticing that he does it), without actually talking to him. And. That is also another one of his problems. He has been steadily ignoring Zuko. Actually, ignoring is a bit of a stretch. He’s avoiding Zuko.</p><p>Look, their conversation at the play (why can Sokka never go to a play with him without something going wrong?) was...a problem? Sokka hadn’t been thinking right. He’s <em> still </em>not thinking right! He has replayed what happened on that balcony multiple times and he still can’t make sense of it. So. He’s avoiding Zuko, and just...admiring from afar. Sort of. </p><p>Seeing as he is completely and utterly avoiding Zuko, Sokka is currently bothering Toph.</p><p>“Come on, Toph,” he pesters, “tell me you don’t have the teensiest crush on Azula?”</p><p>“I do not!” Toph says hotly. Sokka honestly can’t tell if she’s lying or not.</p><p>“You love people who can beat you up! And tell me you didn’t like it when Azula actually lied and it got past you.”</p><p>“I didn’t like it.” Sokka still can’t tell if she’s lying or not, dammit, why is she so good at lying?</p><p>He shrugs. “I’m just saying that I would totally understand if you did – which I think you do.”</p><p>Toph makes an annoyed noise. “Go bother someone else.” She gets into a bending stance, and Sokka stands up, backing away. Toph makes him trip over a rock and fall down on his ass before using earthbending to propel him into the air.</p><p>Sokka lets out an indignant, “Toph!” while falling down. He expects the harsh ground as a landing, bracing himself, but instead he falls straight into warm, strong arms.</p><p>Sokka’s eyes widen as he looks up to bright golden eyes. His mouth opens stupidly with his limbs hanging limpy in Zuko’s (<em> Zuko’s, oh Spirits, Zuko’s </em>) arms. Zuko has one hand on the back of Sokka’s thighs, and his other on Zuko’s back, holding him in a way that makes Sokka’s stomach flutter and his heart squeeze oh so gently. Sokka instantly feels his cheeks heating up as Zuko looks at him with the smallest smile.</p><p>How could Sokka <em> ever </em> have wanted to ignore him?</p><p>Zuko tilts his head. “Do I even want to know how you fell into my arms?”</p><p>
  <em> Into my arms. Into my arms. Into my arms. </em>
</p><p>Holy shit.</p><p>Zuko’s just holding him, like it’s nothing. Just holding Sokka’s sort of limp body. Zuko’s hair blows in the wind slightly, and Spirits does he look perfect.</p><p>Bad. This is bad.</p><p>Sokka tenses for a second, staring up into Zuko’s bright eyes. He idly wonders if Zuko can see how red his skin is, because he might as well have painted red on his skin for how hot his cheeks feel. Zuko raises an eyebrow, looking a little worried now, and that completely sets Sokka over the edge. He can’t stop himself from burying his face into his hands out of embarrassment. </p><p>Zuko pulls him closer to his chest, bending Sokka’s legs more and his hand now resting on Sokka’s shoulder. “Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka shakes his head and avoids peeking through his hands.</p><p>“Sokka?” Zuko repeats, sounding more worried. Oh Spirits, this is so bad, Sokka cannot under any circumstances look up. “Sokka?” Zuko says more frantically. “Um, guys, I think I broke Sokka.” And that is even <em> worse</em>, oh Spirits.</p><p>Sokka peeks through his fingers just a little bit. “No, no,” he squeaks out. “I’m, uh, fine. Yes. Fine. You can, uh, put me down now.”</p><p>Zuko gently sets Sokka down on the ground. “You’re sure that you’re okay?”</p><p>Sokka nods, looking away. He doesn’t waste his time turning away, face flaming, and tries his hardest not to sprint away. Spirits, why does this stuff happen to him?</p><p>Suki finds him not even ten minutes later, when he is holding his sword and going through moves Piandao taught him, trying not to think about what just happened because it makes him want to bury his face in his hands. </p><p>“Sokka,” Suki says the second she sees him, “what the fuck was that.” It’s not a question.</p><p>Sokka pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. “What was what?”</p><p>Suki puts her hands on her hips. “Sokka, you know what I mean.”</p><p>“Do I?”</p><p>“<em>Sokka</em>,” she insists.</p><p>Sokka puts down his sword, dropping onto the ground with his elbows resting on his knees. “Do we have to talk about how I just embarrassed myself?”</p><p>“That’s not what we’re talking about,” Suki says flatly, sitting down next to him. “We’re talking about what in Kyoshi is going on between you and Zuko. I assume you still haven’t talked to him about it?”</p><p>Curse Suki and her incredible knowledge and the way she can so easily read Sokka.</p><p>“Well...we talked about some things? Kind of.”</p><p>“Sokka...are you serious?”</p><p>“Maybe,” Sokka says sheepishly.</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“Suki, look, I told you that it isn’t important,” he tells her. “What happened in Ba Sing Se...happened, and Zuko and I don’t need ‘talk’ about it. We’ve made our peace with it. I think.”</p><p>“Why are boys so stupid?” Suki mutters.</p><p>“I heard that,” Sokka grumbles, glaring at her.</p><p>Suki ignores that. “Sokka, what did you two talk about then?”</p><p>“Uhm, well – it was sort of – I wasn’t thinking straight. I asked him some things, and we were both confused – it wasn’t like it was a fight! – and he didn’t know what to say – and I –”</p><p>“So, you didn’t actually talk about what happened in Ba Sing Se,” Suki interrupts.</p><p>“We kind of did.”</p><p>“Sokka,” Suki puts a hand on his shoulder, “I think you two need to talk about this from the beginning.”</p><p>Sokka groans. “I mean, you’re probably right, but what if I don’t like what comes from it?”</p><p>“Sokka, Spirits, you really are stupid.” Suki raises an eyebrow. “Just fucking talk to him, I mean he betrayed you in Ba Sing Se, right? And now you’re friends again, chill out and talk to him.”</p><p>Sokka glares at her. “You’re not very good at giving advice, you know that, right?”</p><p>She just shrugs and says, “Be grateful Toph didn’t come here. Or Katara. She has no patience for you two.”</p><p>“I wish Aang came here, he wouldn’t call me stupid.”</p><p>“He wouldn’t?”</p><p>Sokka shoves her, but he can’t help but laugh along with her.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>He tries to take Suki’s advice, but the only problem is that he can’t get Zuko alone. And he is not about to go ask Zuko if he can talk to him alone – especially not in front of any of them. They’re all little shits, even Aang, and the things they would say would be so bad, Sokka would literally die from embarrassment.</p><p>He is so close to asking Zuko to spar with him, but even then the others would say something (and he doesn’t think he could...after what happened at their last sparring session).</p><p>Sokka is so antsy by dinner that even Momo notices something is wrong. Momo curls up in his lap and Sokka gently pets him. It’s not that he doesn’t <em> want </em> to talk to Zuko because he does! They do need to talk. It’s just that...if he does, what will happen? What if they get into an argument? Or what if <em> Zuko </em> doesn’t want to talk to him. Or what if –</p><p>“Sokka?” Aang’s voice comes from next to him. “Is everything okay?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Sokka looks up, eyes wide. “Yeah! Everything is fine. It’s okay. I am okay. Fine.”</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye he catches Zuko staring at him with a thoughtful expression on his face.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka tosses and turns in his sleeping bag, sleep really doesn’t like him tonight. He has too many things to think about, and he doesn’t want to think about them. He keeps dreaming, over and over again, about what happened on the balcony or just everything in Ba Sing Se and where it went wrong. </p><p>After what feels like hours of trying to fall asleep, Sokka gets up. He carefully hides some stuff under his sleeping bag, as to not worry anyone if they open their eyes for a second. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing, or where he’s going, but maybe a walk or something would clear his head.</p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka turns around to see Zuko standing behind him with his arms crossed.</p><p>Of fucking course.</p><p>“Hi,” Sokka says awkwardly, waving his hand.</p><p>“Where are you going?”</p><p>Sokka sighs. “I dunno, I can’t sleep so I was just going to find somewhere quiet and...relax my mind?”</p><p>Zuko’s face softens. “I know a place.” Without any warning, he’s grabbing Sokka’s wrist with a soft, small smile, and dragging him towards the house. Sokka doesn’t protest at all. </p><p>Why did he ever want to ignore Zuko? Oh Spirits.</p><p>Zuko pulls him inside the house and up long, winding stairs. He opens a trapdoor and leads Sokka inside a brightly coloured attic.</p><p>Sokka’s eyes widen as he looks around the room. The walls are covered in painted flowers, and the designs are so intricate and bright, something in Sokka melts completely. He stares in awe all around him at the paintings on the wall. They practically light up the whole room (though that may be Zuko’s smile).</p><p>He turns back to Zuko. “Who painted these?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “I don’t know, they’ve been here since I was a kid.”</p><p>“Has anybody else seen them?”</p><p>“I don’t think so,” Zuko answers. “I came up here to hide when Azula was gloating about her firebending and I found it, I didn’t tell anyone and nobody ever found me so.”</p><p>“And you’re showing me?” Sokka asks quietly, blinking up at Zuko.</p><p>Zuko looks down, blushing slightly. “I guess? I came here a lot and it’s always quiet so I thought you would like it.”</p><p>“It’s...it’s amazing.”</p><p>Zuko smiles oh so softly, Sokka thinks he might cry just by looking at that smile.</p><p>(Ew. No he won’t. That’s disgusting and sappy, Sokka isn’t like that.)</p><p>Zuko leads him over to where there’s a ledge and a large window and sits down. </p><p>“It’s um – the view is usually really nice here,” Zuko pulls one knee up and rests his elbow on it. “And, uh, if you listen really closely, you can hear the soft noises outside, like the waves.”</p><p>Sokka smiles and sits across from him on the window ledge. “Kind of dramatic and theater-like, isn’t it?”</p><p>That startles a laugh out of Zuko, big and bright and loud. All Sokka can think about is making him laugh again. </p><p>They fall into thoughtful silence, until Zuko breaks it.“Uhm, Sokka – we should, um – talk? I guess.”</p><p>Sokka winces internally, he should have known this was coming.</p><p>“Yeah, we should.”</p><p>“Do you wanna start, or should I?”</p><p>Sokka heaves a sigh and finally meets Zuko’s eyes. “Will you tell me everything?”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t break the eye contact. “I, uhm, I wouldn’t know where to start?”</p><p>“Start at the beginning,” Sokka says softly. “Well – not the beginning-beginning, but from when I struck up the ‘deal’ in Ba Sing Se. I want your point of view.”</p><p>Zuko blinks at him, dark eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, moonlight cutting his cheeks in sharp shadows. Sokka’s mouth feels weirdly dry.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Sokka inches the smallest bit closer, nodding for Zuko to start.</p><p>“I –” Zuko scratches the back of his head. “Well, I didn’t like you at first, obviously. I didn’t hate you, maybe, I was more confused.”</p><p>Sokka listens intently to Zuko’s recounts of their first few times seeing each other, it settles something in him. Kind of. Maybe? It feels...nice, just letting him talk. </p><p>“And, well, I don’t know,” Zuko says. “I didn’t mean to tell you anything, really, but you had your stupid journal and you were always looking at me like you were trying to figure me out; I just couldn’t stop myself. Like, I just said everything because I felt like it wouldn’t matter, I thought there would be no consequences. I saw you as...an outlet? For all my emotions, I guess.”</p><p>Sokka grins. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to be.”</p><p>Zuko shoves him. “Shut up.”</p><p>Sokka raises his hands up in defense, miming locking his lips.</p><p>“I was constantly thinking about plans and ways I could outsmart you, but...you were just so...you,” Zuko continues. “You didn’t get mad a lot, you were stubborn and you never left me alone, and somehow it was what I needed. You were just so annoying, Agni, so annoying.”</p><p>“Gee, thanks.”</p><p>Zuko flashes him a grin that momentarily blinds him. “I just meant that you became my...friend.”</p><p>Sokka nudges him and says, “Tell me about Lake Laogai, and your ‘metamorphosis’.”</p><p>Zuko elbows him when he says metamorphosis, but continues speaking nonetheless. “Well, I knew Aang was in Ba Sing Se, and I knew that you’d lost Appa, but you’d sort of distracted me from that.</p><p>“When we weren’t speaking – when you just didn’t come after the play – I saw the flyers Aang dropped around the city and I thought that if I could find Appa I would be able to use him as bait. I didn’t really know what I was thinking – you hadn’t been coming, and I was confused? I don’t...know how to explain it – and I didn’t think it through, but I found Appa and Uncle found me. He said things and they convinced me to set your bison free.”</p><p>“But why did you, like, faint after that?”</p><p>“Uncle says that it was because I had made a huge decision, and that I was changing my life,” Zuko explains. </p><p>Sokka plays with the edge of his tunic, not looking at Zuko. “So, why did you...choose Azula?” He’s been trying not to ask – and honestly he’s over it! –, but it just...Spirits, he needs to know.</p><p>Zuko leans in closer (Sokka’s chest constricts, he feels it), making Sokka look up at him. “Because I wanted my father to love me? Because I wanted him to see what I had accomplished? And I...I wanted to go home, just for once, after three years.”</p><p>Sokka doesn’t say anything, but his gaze doesn’t waver from Zuko’s. Zuko tilts his head just slightly, his hair moving in a way that makes Sokka’s heart beat faster. They stare at each for a while, never looking away.</p><p>A challenge, it’s a challenge, of course it is.</p><p>“What made you come here?” Sokka breathes out, voice barely a whisper in the quiet of the attic.</p><p>Zuko smiles, that damned small smile that Sokka loves. “A million things. My uncle, my father, my mother, my sister, Mai, the Fire Nation as a whole, everything that had happened to me in the past two months after becoming a refugee.” Zuko looks away from him. Sokka’s heart sinks with disappointment until Zuko looks back and says oh so quietly, “You.”</p><p>Sokka stares at him, his brain slowly processing that word. It finally catches up and he blinks.</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yeah, you.” Zuko blushes a little. “I just – everything in Ba Sing Se, and what you said in the catacombs, it was...uh, well, yeah?”</p><p>Sokka can’t help but laugh loudly at Zuko’s awkwardness. He laughs harder when Zuko slaps his arm and tells him to shut up. He’s wiping tears from his eyes when he tells Zuko to tell him about the invasion.</p><p>But that story sobers him up right away. He listens, almost in horror, when Zuko tells him how Ozai shot lightning at him. Sokka resists the urge to hold Zuko’s hand, and no he doesn’t feel some sort of pride or relief when Zuko tells him about redirecting the lightning, and he definitely doesn’t want to hug Zuko until his breathing evens out. No siree. </p><p>Zuko doesn’t say anything after that. He just moves closer to Sokka, and looks out the window at the sky outside.</p><p>Sokka takes this time to watch Zuko, to look at him, to take him in, to admire him. Because Zuko is like the sun, the stars, he exudes beautiful colours that nobody could ever compare to. Zuko’s smile lights up the whole world, and Sokka doesn’t think he will ever get enough of looking at Zuko’s beautiful, enchanting eyes. The shadows from the full moon outside cast upon Zuko’s face make him look unreal. </p><p>Spirits, he’s practically perfect.</p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>Zuko’s voice startles him out of his thoughts, and Sokka feels his cheeks heating because he was almost totally caught staring.</p><p>“Uh, yeah?”</p><p>“Will you – uh – will you – well – will you tell me about her?” Zuko asks softly.</p><p>“About who?” Sokka furrows his brows, confused.</p><p>“Your first girlfriend, the, uh, moon one?”</p><p>Sokka smiles softly, trying not to laugh at that. He turns to look out the window at the full moon outside. </p><p>Yue always lights up the whole sky. She makes the stars shine brighter, she makes everything shine brighter. </p><p>
  <em> Through all the long night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Winter moon glows with bright love </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sleet, her silver tears </em>
</p><p>Sokka misses her, but when does he not?</p><p>
  <em> (Through all of the night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Spring moon smiles with bright love </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Rain, her silver tears) </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ((Through all the short night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Summer moon shines with bright love </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Clouds, her silver tears)) </em>
</p><p>
  <em> (((Through all of the night </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Autumn moon cries with bright love </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Leaves, her silver tears))) </em>
</p><p>“I met her at the North Pole,” Sokka says after a few beats of silence. “Spirits, was she everything? Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe. She was blessed by the moon spirit when she was a beauty – blue eyes and shining, silver-white hair. She was also engaged to some jerk, all this talk about her duty and her honour.” Sokka flashes Zuko a grin. “Kind of like you. But when Zhao killed the moon spirit, Yue gave herself up. She said it was what she was destined to do. I guess it was. Now she lights up the sky.” Sokka jerks his head towards the window. “It hurts the most when the moon is full.”</p><p>Zuko’s hand hovers over Sokka’s, he looks like he’s hesitating, but then he carefully holds Sokka’s hand. “Sokka, I –”</p><p>“If you say you’re sorry, I’ll fucking kill you.” Sokka smiles slightly, shaking his head. “For the longest time, I thought I’d failed to protect her, but everyone in her life was always telling her what to do, they were always trying to protect her; she finally got to make a choice of her own.”</p><p>Zuko just nods, and it feels better than anything else anyone has ever said.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t know why.</p><p>He doesn’t know how long they sit there, holding hands, knees touching, on the windowsill, all he knows is that it gives him a sense of calm and alleviates all his stress and worry. </p><p>“Zuko?” Sokka says into the silence.</p><p>“Hmm?” Zuko answers, not looking away from the window.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Zuko snaps his head away from the window to look at him, eyebrow raised. “What for?”</p><p>“I’m sorry for what I said at the play,” Sokka continues. “It wasn’t right, and I didn’t even know what I was asking. You don’t owe me an explanation or anything like that. In Ba Sing Se...we were just Zuko and Sokka – or Sokka and Li.”</p><p>The corner of Zuko’s mouth turns up just slightly. “I’m sorry too.”</p><p>They lapse back into comfortable silence, and Sokka rests his head against the window, thanking Yue for everything.</p><p>At one point they’ll have to go back to the sleeping bags with everyone else, but for now they’ll just sit here together.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>The next few days pass by with less excitement, but Sokka finds himself missing the quiet and brightness of the flowered attic. He might just prefer it to everyone’s loudness, which is saying a lot because those sounds are familiar and comforting. He thinks he might ask Zuko if he wants to go back to the attic, but it’s too weird for him to ask that. Or. He thinks.</p><p>They’re eating dinner, Sokka with his legs in Zuko’s lap – purely to annoy him –, when he asks, “Do you guys think we should trash the Fire Lord’s house?”</p><p>Zuko almost drops his bowl of food on Sokka’s legs. “What?” he repeats, voice full of disbelief.</p><p>“Should we trash the Fire Lord’s beach house?” Sokka says again.</p><p>“Sokka, what are you talking about?” Katara asks.</p><p>Sokka sighs, sitting up straighter. “I mean, nobody is in the house right? Nobody’s coming, so we could just trash it.”</p><p>Katara raises an eyebrow. “Why would we do that?”</p><p>“Because Fire Lord Ozai sucks, and he can suck my –”</p><p>“Don’t finish that sentence!”</p><p>“– I mean, Ozai is horrible so we should ruin his house!”</p><p>“But if nobody is coming back to the house, will they ever know?” Toph points out. “What’s the point?”</p><p>“The point is,” Sokka insists, “that we would do it and have the satisfaction.”</p><p>Aang furrows his brows, tilting his head. “I don’t think that there would be any satisfaction.”</p><p>“And how would we even trash it?” Suki butts in. “If we’re going to be living in it, why would we trash it?”</p><p>Sokka throws his hands up in annoyance. “Why is everyone always against me? Come on, it would be fun. Team bonding!”</p><p>Toph snorts. “Like we haven’t had enough bonding.”</p><p>Sokka disregards this. “Wouldn’t it be nice to ruin all of Ozai’s stuff?”</p><p>“What about Zuko?” Katara says.</p><p>Sokka turns to look at him. “What about him?”</p><p>“I just mean,” says Katara, irritated, “this was his old house, does he want to ruin it?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “I don’t really care, I burned half the stuff in there, anyways.” He turns to look at Sokka, looking slightly distraught. “But you want to ‘trash’ everything, do you mean the paintings too?” He pouts just slightly and it’s so adorable, Sokka wants to trace his mouth when he does that.</p><p>(Shut up, seriously.)</p><p>“No!” Sokka hurries to contradict. “Not that room, I doubt Ozai has even been in there.”</p><p>Toph smirks. “You guys have a painting room?” she asks snidely.</p><p>“No!” Sokka denies quickly, his face turning red all the same. “It’s just a room with paintings that we found.”</p><p>“So <em> your </em>guys’ room,” Suki says slyly.</p><p>“I hate you guys,” mutters Sokka, slapping a hand to his forehead. “It’s just a room.”</p><p>“<em>Doesn’t sound like it</em>,” Toph sing-songs.</p><p>“Anyways, are we going to trash the house or not?”</p><p>“I don’t think it would be a good idea,” Katara tells him. “I hate Ozai just as much as you, but –”</p><p>Sokka pouts. “Guyssss, come on. It would be fun!”</p><p>“What would we even do?”</p><p>“We could write some stuff about how much we hate him.”</p><p>Katara shakes her head. “No, I don’t think we should.”</p><p>Sokka hangs his head. “Fine.”</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Zuko says. He pats Sokka’s shoulder, letting his hand rest there. “I promise that one day we’ll go back here and you can write something bad about him.”</p><p>Sokka grins up at him, letting his gaze linger longer than necessary, he only looks away when Suki clears her throat. </p><p>Right. That’s, um, weird.</p><p>Sometimes, he forgets that it’s not always just him and Zuko. He forgets they’re not sitting in the apartment, just the two of them, allowed to do what they like without an audience.</p><p>He can’t tell which he would prefer, because if it was just him and Zuko, he might just accidentally say things he doesn’t mean to.</p><p>(Things he hasn’t even admitted to himself yet.)</p><p>Sokka settles his legs more comfortably on Zuko’s lap, playing with the edges of Zuko’s tunic. He’d finished his dinner a while ago, and honestly he’s just waiting for Zuko to finish now (he doesn’t know why he’s waiting, but he is). He traces the gold seams and stitches of Zuko’s clothes over and over again. He tries to recall the time when Mom and Dad were teaching him and Katara different types of stitches and knots for when they needed them. Sokka remembers his mom’s soft voice and pretty hands as she pointed them out, and he remembers his dad contradicting her statements, telling her she was wrong with Gran-Gran laughing in the background. Sokka remembers when he’d first learned to sew things and he had been so bad at it, constantly poking his fingers and bleeding. Sokka remembers Katara easily getting the hang of it, and one-upping him in practically everything. Sokka remembers grumbling and being jealous at it when his parents would tell him that he doesn’t have to be good at everything, and it’s okay for Katara to be good at it. Sokka remembers his dad pulling him aside and teaching him the different types of weapons instead.</p><p>Sokka closes his eyes, and he strains his memory, trying his hardest – his absolute hardest – to see her. And – there!</p><p>It’s the smallest flash of a memory, but he sees her face looking down at him with kind blue eyes and black hair falling out of her ribbon. He sees her smile and soft gaze. It’s so short, the memory, but it’s everything to him.</p><p>She looks like him.</p><p>And he sees it, he sees what Katara had said about how similar they look.</p><p>It sends a pang inside his chest, but it also brings him closer to her. Sokka had blocked her face, her memory, away because it hurt, but he wants to see her again. He doesn’t want to block everything about her away.</p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka jumps, his hands jerking away from Zuko’s tunic. “Hm? What?”</p><p>Zuko leans in close, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “What are you doing,” he whispers, breath ghosting across Sokka’s cheek. It doesn’t come out as a question.</p><p>Sokka wrings his fingers together, unable to look away from Zuko’s eyes. “Oh, nothing, nothing, nothing at all.”</p><p>Zuko snorts. “Nothing, uh-huh.”</p><p>Sokka pretends that Zuko’s low, quiet, raspy voice is not personally affecting him currently.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“Can’t sleep? Again?”</p><p>Sokka turns around to find Zuko standing in the same position he’d been standing in a few days ago, when they spent most of the night in the attic.</p><p>Yes. Obviously, Sokka can’t sleep again. There isn’t really a particular reason this time, he just...can’t sleep. Too many things to think about.</p><p>(No. One of those things is not how his heart beats much faster around Zuko than around anyone else.)</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs, smiling slightly. “The sky's awake.”</p><p>“When is it not?” Zuko asks.</p><p>“I don’t know.” Sokka grins at him. “But it makes me want to stay awake with it.”</p><p>They stare at each other (for a <em> long </em> time) before Sokka blurts out, “Do you want to look at the stars with me?”</p><p>“Look at the stars with you?” Zuko repeats.</p><p>Sokka blanches. He shouldn’t have said that. Why did he say that? Oh Spirits, this is so embarrassing (it’s just that he looks at the stars sometimes when he can’t sleep, Zuko shared the attic, it’s Sokka’s turn now).</p><p>“Yes?” Sokka says, voice small.</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “Why not, I guess?”</p><p>Sokka feels his entire face light up, and he runs toward Zuko, grabbing his wrist and finding a hill where they can look at the stars. He lies down on the grass giddily, putting one arm behind his head.</p><p>Zuko raises an eyebrow. “You want me to lie on the grass?”</p><p>“Zuko, we sleep on the ground, shut up and lie on the grass with me.”</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes but he lies down next to Sokka anyway.</p><p>Sokka takes a breath, looking up at the midnight sky that’s littered with stars. He won’t admit it to a lot of people, but he likes watching the slow dance of the infinite stars, he can just look up and get lost, like nothing else matters in the world.</p><p>(He sometimes feels that way about spending time with Zuko. Or just these last few days with everyone, like nothing matters but the six of them.)</p><p>“Are we just supposed to look at the stars?” Zuko asks after a few seconds.</p><p>Sokka turns to glare at him. “Yes, obviously. Or we could talk.”</p><p>“Talk about what?” Zuko turns his head so their eyes meet.</p><p>“I don’t know, anything?”</p><p>“Anything…?”</p><p>“Yeah, anything, like –” Sokka looks back up at the stars, frowning slightly, “– like – like –”</p><p>“Like?” Zuko repeats, smirk evident in his voice.</p><p>Sokka shoves him with his shoulder. The stars are...beautiful, every time Sokka sees them, faint memories come down on him just like...well, stars. </p><p>“It’s my birthday,” Sokka finds himself blurting out. He doesn’t mean to say it, it just comes out of him.</p><p>“It’s your <em> what</em>?” Zuko repeats incredulously. Sokka feels him turn to look at him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the sky above him.</p><p>“My birthday,” Sokka says again. “It’s past midnight, so definitely my birthday.”</p><p>“It’s the summer solstice already?” Zuko says.</p><p><em> That </em> makes Sokka look at him, a slight smile ghosting his lips. “You remembered?”</p><p>Zuko blushes brightly even in the dark light. “Uh, yeah, I guess. I know you don’t remember –”</p><p>“Winter solstice, I know,” Sokka says, full on smiling now.</p><p>Zuko looks away, still blushing. “So, you’re sixteen now?”</p><p>“Yup, we’re the same age, pal.”</p><p>“Do not call me pal.”</p><p>Sokka debates calling him one of the other names that would annoy him (fondly, annoy him fondly), but he doesn’t. </p><p>“Okay,” he says instead with a laugh. </p><p>“So, what are you going to do?” Zuko asks.</p><p>“What am I going to do for what?”</p><p>“For your birthday, nitwit.”</p><p>Oh. “Oh.” Sokka shrugs. “I wasn’t going to do anything. I don’t want to bring attention to it, ‘cause, y’know, we have other things to worry about.”</p><p>Zuko looks back at him in disbelief. “Sokka, it’s your birthday! You have to do something.”</p><p>“I don’t want anyone to worry about anything.” Sokka holds his gaze for a long time. “Plus,” he speaks softly, “I haven’t celebrated it properly since my mom died, and I don’t – I dunno.”</p><p>“That’s all the reason to celebrate it properly now,” Zuko tells him, inching closer. “With your...new family.”</p><p>Sokka’s heart pangs at the hesitance in his voice, and he has to say something. He has to do something to make Zuko not be unsure about that. “I’ll – I’ll think about it, okay?”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Sokka tries hard not to give in to the urge and hold Zuko’s hand as he looks back up at the stars (the ones shining so bright, it feels like his soul is on display, the ones that make everything feel magical, the ones that set his heart on fire purely because of who is next to him).</p><p>“You know,” Zuko says, turning his head to look at Sokka, the moon casting shadows on his face, “sometimes...I wish I was just Li.”</p><p>Sokka props himself up on his elbow, looking down at him. “What?”</p><p>“Sometimes I wish I was just Li,” Zuko repeats.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs, resting his hands on his stomach. “I don’t know. It was easy? It might have been a lie, and customers might have been the bane of my existence. But, it was easy. Kind of, at least. I didn’t have to worry about a lot of things – even though I did. Sometimes, I just want to be Li from the tea shop who is always slightly annoyed at a certain blue eyed teenager.”</p><p>“Hey! That is just plain mean.” Sokka licks his lips and adds, “<em>Li</em>.”</p><p>Zuko laughs, smiling up at Sokka with crinkled eyes. He’s so beautiful and it’s so unfair, who allowed that? Sokka leans closer, his thoughts going all over the place. He thinks about everything that’s happened between him and Zuko, every image and memory flashes in his mind. Every conversation they have shoots a bolt of lightning through him. Zuko smiles like the sun, so bright and so warm; every time Sokka sees his smile or his angelic laugh, he wishes to be the cause of it, every single time. Zuko shines so brightly it’s almost impossible that he’s real.</p><p>Sokka’s fingers hover over Zuko’s jawline, leaning closer. He searches Zuko’s bright eyes, the ones that warm his heart like the fucking sun’s kiss – <em> Agni’s </em>kiss. He wants to – he wants to – he feels some sort of push, telling him to take a plunge, a jump, and soar; the way he’s been scared to do for so long. Sokka’s eyes flick up and down, settling on Zuko’s lips. They’re parted slightly, so inviting, and Sokka wants –</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Oh.</p><p><em> Oh</em>.</p><p>(<em>Oh</em>.)</p><p>He’s in love with Zuko.</p><p>Oh – oh <em> no</em>.</p><p>Sokka, of the fucking Southern Water Tribe (a peasant, nothing, absolutely nothing), is in love with Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation (next in line for the throne, blessed by Agni as all Fire Nation royalty are, given the Sun Warrior’s blessing).</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>Oh <em> shit</em>.</p><p>Oh <em> fuck</em>, <em> oh </em> –</p><p>He’s in love. With Zuko.</p><p>He is in. Love. With. Zuko.</p><p>He. Is. In. Love. With. Zuko. </p><p>Spirits, Sokka had fallen in love with the moon once; he shouldn’t have fallen for the sun.</p><p>(Because Zuko is the sun, even if he doesn’t think so, even if he’s overshadowed by Azula. Zuko is the sun. His fire is a beautiful rainbow, and he is beautiful and regal in every way. Spirits, he <em>is</em> the sun. Sokka should know <em> better</em>.)</p><p>He’s in love with Zuko and everything about him. He’s in love with Zuko’s stupid awkwardness, how strong he is, how determined, the way he’ll never give up – not without a fight, at least –, that little half smile he does when he’s scared to show his true feelings, how he looks at all of them fondly and then tries to hide it.</p><p>Sokka jerks back away from Zuko, not noticing Zuko’s face falling in his hurry. </p><p>“I – I –”</p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>“Uh – I –”</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>Sokka sputters, “Everything is – is a-okay! It’s all good. Mhmm, I am perfect.” Zuko looks at him with a frown, eyes searching him. “You know, we should – uh – go to sleep now. Hmm, yeah? It’s late, and, um, we don’t want to be tired. Especially for Aang’s training?”</p><p>Zuko reaches a hand out before swinging it back down and nodding, frown still on his face. “Okay. Uh. Okay.” He stands up and starts to turn away, but he turns back when he sees Sokka still sitting down. “Aren’t you coming?”</p><p>“Yes? Just give me a second, uh, I want to talk to Yue.”</p><p>Zuko nods and Sokka watches him disappear.</p><p>He doesn’t get to talking to Yue, because he sits there reliving every memory of him and Zuko, now with the knowledge that he loves him.</p><p>He <em> loves </em> him.</p><p>(He goes to bed later, but not before going inside the house and carving “Fuck you, Ozai, Shitty Lord” into the walls.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lol &lt;3</p><p>i read something on how toph and azula as a couple would be so chaotic hence that first scene. no but i could actually see it because i think azula would be so intrigued by toph and how she can see and her metalbending and i think that toph would be intrigued by how much of a good liar she is but it would be so chaotic nd both of them hate feelings like it would be so bad</p><p>anyways roku was a painter and he loved it because while he was normally clumsy, painting was something he could do flawlessly, and sozin often invited him to his beach house and they would hide in the attic and roku would paint the walls while sozin talked his ear off. no i don’t know where this came from, in fact, i don’t even really like roku or sozin (let’s not romanticize a jealous warlord who i am pretending didn’t criminalize gay peeps) i just randomly have this super random headcanon and idk here it is - also i just realized that that sounds like something zuko and sokka would do oopsies</p><p>next chapter features: just going for it, taking down an entire airship fleet at 15 with another 15 year old and a 12 year old, negotiations?? and winning the war</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. blah blah, gold eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 20</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>set during sozin's comet</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Sokka braids little pieces of Suki’s hair under the sun on the beach as Katara surfs the waves (not before yelling that she gets her hair braided next) and Aang and Toph have a sand sculpture contest. Zuko has yet to show up for their beach day, and Sokka is this close to going to the house and finding him. He cards his fingers through Suki’s hair, sectioning it and braiding more pieces, but his mind is elsewhere.</p><p>See, he’d recently found out that all of the longing stares and the lingering glances and the wanting to hold him and the almost kisses all meant that he is in love with Zuko. Which is kind of a problem, but Sokka had since learned that ignoring Zuko almost never works (it never <em> ever </em> works) so he’s just been acting the same. They’re friends. Sokka doesn’t want to ruin that, not after they just figured it out.</p><p>“Stop worrying,” Suki says, trying to turn around and look at him.</p><p>Sokka turns her head back to the front. “Stop it, you’ll ruin your hair.” He goes back to weaving little plaits in. “And I’m not worrying. I just think that he could do with a day of relaxing at the beach, and he’s probably alone brooding or something.”</p><p>“You’re not worrying, but you instantly thought of Zuko when I didn’t even say his name,” Suki points out.</p><p>“Shut up, or I won’t braid your hair.”</p><p>Suki holds her hands up in defense. “Kay, <em> sorry </em> .” She pauses. “But I think you should really think about everything with Zuko, and any possible... <em> feelings </em>.”</p><p>Sokka frowns, hesitating. He could so easily tell her that he did figure them out, and that he knows, but he’s too scared to. He’s too scared to admit it out loud.</p><p>“Suki –”</p><p>Aang lets out a loud yelp as bright, multicoloured fire is struck on the sand next to him. Sokka and Suki turn to see Zuko destroying the sand sculptures with fire and chasing after Aang.</p><p>“<em> What </em> is he doing?” Suki says in disbelief, standing up and pulling Sokka with her.</p><p>They reach the house in time to see Aang blast Zuko down to the ground with airbending. Zuko groans, holding his side and standing up.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you?” Katara yells, worried. “You could have hurt Aang!” Sokka neglects to mention that Zuko was the one that actually got blasted off of the roof.</p><p>“What’s wrong with <em> me </em>?” Zuko says incredulously. “How can you sit around having beach parties and braiding each other’s hair when Sozin’s Comet is only three days away?” Sokka stares at him along with everybody else, cringing slightly. “Why are you all looking at me like I’m crazy?”</p><p>Aang looks down to the ground. “About Sozin’s Comet...I was actually going to wait to fight the Fire Lord until after it came.”</p><p>“<em> After </em>?”</p><p>“I’m not ready,” Aang admits. “I need more time to master firebending.”</p><p>“And frankly, your earthbending could use a bit of work too,” Toph adds.</p><p>“Gee, thanks,” Aang mumbles.</p><p>“So, you all knew Aang was going to wait?” Zuko asks, looking between all of them.</p><p>Sokka winces. “Honestly, Zuko, if Aang tries to fight the Fire Lord now, he’s going to lose.” Sokka immediately regrets his words when Aang frowns at him. “No offense, Aang.”</p><p>“The whole point of fighting the Fire Lord before the Comet was to stop the Fire Nation from winning the War,” Katara explains, “but they pretty much won the War when they took Ba Sing Se.” Zuko looks down when she says this. “Things can't get any worse.”</p><p>“You're wrong,” Zuko says darkly, turning away. “It's about to get worse than you can even imagine. The day before the eclipse, my father asked me to attend an important war meeting. It was what I dreamed about for so many years. My father had finally accepted me back.”</p><p>Sokka frowns at him, listening as he tells them about the Fire Nation’s plan.</p><p>“He’s going to take away their hope, and burn their crops and fields and cities for as long as he can during the comet,” Zuko explains. “Their...the plan is horrible. I wanted to speak out against it, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance, but once I had it...I realized I'd lost myself getting there. I'd forgotten who I was.”</p><p>Katara sinks to her knees. “I can’t believe this.”</p><p>Sokka’s hand finds her shoulder as he kneels down next to her. “This is pure evil. Tui and La, man, what’re we gonna do?”</p><p>“What am <em> I </em> gonna do?” Aang asks, looking distraught.</p><p>Zuko goes over to Aang. “ I know you're scared, and I know you're not ready to save the world, but if you don't defeat the Fire Lord before the comet comes, there won't be a world to save anymore.”</p><p>“That’s not very reassuring, bud,” Sokka whispers.</p><p>Aang pushes Zuko away. “Why didn’t you tell me about your dad’s crazy plan sooner?”</p><p>“I didn’t think I had to,” Zuko says. “I assumed you were still going to fight him before the comet. No one told <em> me </em> you decided to wait.”</p><p>Aang holds his head in his hands. “This is bad, this is really, really bad,” he mutters, almost maniacally.</p><p>“Aang, you don’t have to do this alone,” Katara says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>Toph nods, standing next to Katara. “Yeah, if we all fight the Fire Lord together, we got a shot at taking him down.”</p><p>Sokka grins widely. “All right!” he whoops. “Team Avatar is back! Air. Water. Earth. Fire.” He hands Suki a clump of leaves and finds a long one for himself, putting an arm around her. “Fan and sword!” Sokka frowns when everyone laughs at his leaf wilting.</p><p>Aang smiles at everyone. “Fighting the Fire Lord is going to be the hardest thing we've ever done together, but I wouldn't want to do it any other way.”</p><p>Sokka pulls everyone in for a group hug.</p><p>“Get over here, Zuko,” Katara says. “Being part of the group also means being part of group hugs.” She flashes Sokka a secret smile and Sokka returns it.</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes, a resigned look on his face, but he walks over to them and joins the group hug. Sokka places his hand on the small of Zuko’s back, pretending not to notice how he looks at them all a little fondly.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka takes a breath. “All right, Team Avatar – oh, I got it! We call ourselves the GAang! Like the gang but, y’know, with Aang’s name. I’m so –”</p><p>“Sokka!” Katara interrupts, “get on with the plan.”</p><p>Sokka grins. “Right. In order to take out the Fire Lord – or in this case, the Melon Lord – our timing has to be perfect.” Sokka kneels down on the ground and finds the stick he used before, drawing a line to the Melon Lord head drawing. Zuko quietly explains to Toph what he’s drawn because her sandbending can’t pick it up. “First, Suki and I will draw his fire. Then, Katara and Zuko charge in with some liquidy hot offense, and while the Melon Lord is distracted, Aang swoops in...and bam!” Sokka destroys the Melon Lord symbol with the third “Aang” line he drew. “He delivers the final blow.”</p><p>“Uh...what about me?” Toph asks.</p><p>“For now, you’re the Melon Lord’s forces.”</p><p>Toph grins excitedly. “So I get to chuck flaming rocks at all of you?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “Whatever makes the training feel more realistic.”</p><p>“Sweetness,” Toph says happily. Katara elbows Sokka, for a reason that is unknown and totally has nothing to do with the fact that he is letting Toph throw rocks at them.</p><p>Toph puts the whole thing on hold by getting Zuko to start fires for her to put her boulders into, Sokka doesn’t complain though, because Zuko’s fond smile makes it worth it.</p><p>Toph laughs “evilly” as she throws flaming rocks at everyone, and Sokka can’t even complain about that because it’s honestly just hilarious to watch her laugh like that and look so gleeful about flaming rocks (he does complain when one nearly hits him, though).</p><p>“Now, Aang!” Sokka yells when the coast is clear.</p><p>Aang jumps, preparing to strike, and Sokka watches in anticipation with everyone else for him to kill the Melon Lord.</p><p>Aang stops, not striking at all.</p><p>“What are you waiting for?” Zuko says. “Take him out!”<br/>Aang shakes his head. “I can’t.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with you?” Sokka asks harshly, walking up to Aang. “If this was the real deal, you’d be shot full of lightning right now.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, but it just didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel like myself.”</p><p>Sokka takes out his sword and he slices the melon head off without a second thought.</p><p>(This is all he knows, he grew up with war, he grew up with battle, this is all he knows. Sokka was raised in the war, it reflects on his actions. Aang...wasn’t.)</p><p>“There. That’s how it’s done.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>The air is hot and humid around them as they eat their dinner outside (seeing as Zuko and Aang <em> destroyed </em> the kitchen and dining hall, they have to eat outside). Aang sits away from everyone else, Sokka wants to talk to him, but he doesn’t. They can’t afford to be soft and scared when fighting the Fire Lord.</p><p>“I have a surprise everyone!” Katara says, holding a scroll.</p><p>Toph grins. “I knew it! You did have a secret thing with Haru.” Sokka turns to look at her strangely, eyebrows raised.</p><p>Katara frowns. “Uh, no. I was looking for cooking pots that weren’t dented – because <em> some </em> people destroyed the kitchen –” (Zuko rolls his eyes), “ and I found this!” She opens the scroll up to show everyone a picture of a dark-haired baby with a cute smile and bright eyes. Sokka thinks inexplicably of the torn picture he found of Zuko. “Look at baby Zuko,” she coos. “Isn’t he cute.”</p><p>Zuko glowers at the painting</p><p>“Oh, lighten up. I’m just teasing.”</p><p>“That’s not me,” Zuko says, frowning. “That’s my father.”</p><p>Katara rolls up the scroll instantly.</p><p>“But...he looks so sweet and innocent,” Suki says.</p><p>“Well, that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster, and the worst father in the history of fathers.” Zuko adds that last part while looking down, a slightly sad look in his eyes. Sokka can’t stop himself from placing a hand on the small of Zuko’s back and letting it settle there.</p><p>Suki puts a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” she whispers, quiet enough so that only Sokka and Zuko can hear it.</p><p>Zuko shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he says, just as quietly.</p><p>Aang, not having heard those last two statements, says loudly, “But he’s still a human being.”</p><p>Zuko flinches, turning to glare at Aang. “You’re going to defend him?”</p><p>“No, I agree with you.” Aang stands up. “Fire Lord Ozai is a horrible person, and the world would probably be better off without him, but there's got to be another way.”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“I don't know.” He perks up a little. “Maybe we can make some big pots of glue, and then I can use gluebending to stick his arms and legs together so he can't bend anymore.”</p><p>“Yeah, then you can show him his baby pictures, and all those happy memories will make him good again,” Zuko says sarcastically, faux smiling at Aang.</p><p>Snarky little shit, Sokka thinks as he tries to contain his giggles with Suki (it doesn’t work, they end up laughing loud enough for Aang to notice).</p><p><em> Your snarky little shit </em> , a voice in his mind says. <em> No </em>, Sokka answers.</p><p>“You really think that’ll work?” Aang says excitedly.</p><p>“No!” Zuko says bluntly.</p><p>Aang’s face falls, and he sighs, pacing back and forth. “This goes against everything I learned from the monks. I can't just go around wiping out people I don't like.”</p><p>Sokka shrugs, smiling slightly. “Sure you can. You're the Avatar. If it's in the name of keeping balance, I'm pretty sure the universe will forgive you.”</p><p>“This isn't a joke, Sokka! None of you understand the position I'm in.”</p><p>“Just trying to lighten the mood,” Sokka mumbles.</p><p>“Aang,” Katara says softly, looking reproachful. “We do understand. It’s just…”</p><p>“Just what, Katara? What?” Aang seems to be close to losing his temper, his face turning red, his gaze hard.</p><p>“We’re trying to help!”</p><p>“Then, when you figure out a way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it!” Aang storms away.</p><p>Katara turns to follow him. “Aang, don’t walk away from this.”</p><p>Zuko puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.”</p><p>Katara nods, but she doesn’t look like she likes it.</p><p>Have you ever heard of anything that could go so wrong days before one of the most important things you’ll ever have to do?</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>In the morning, Aang is gone.</p><p>Aang has run away before, but this time…</p><p>He wouldn’t leave them now, not like this, he wouldn’t leave them even if didn’t know what to do.</p><p>They split up, but (of course) none of them find him.</p><p>“No,” Toph says when Sokka sees her and Zuko, “we didn’t find Aang, and my field trip sucked too. I didn’t know Zuko was that boring.”</p><p>“<em> Hey </em>,” Zuko says, frowning slightly. “We need to find Aang first. If you really want, we can do something stupid and ‘life changing’ after the comet.”</p><p>Toph punches him, getting a laugh out of Sokka.</p><p>“What should we do, Zuko?” Katara asks.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Zuko says, standing up. “Wha – why are you all looking at <em> me </em>?”</p><p>“Well,” Katara says sheepishly, “you are kind of the expert on tracking Aang.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Toph agrees, “if anyone’s got experience hunting the Avatar...it’s you.”</p><p>Zuko sighs dramatically. “Fine. Follow me.”</p><p>He leads them to Appa, and they start flying almost immediately.</p><p>“Zuko, bud, I don’t wanna tell you how to do your job, but why are we headed towards the Earth Kingdom? There’s no way Aang is there.” Sokka turns to look at Zuko, his hair blowing in the wind.</p><p>“Don’t call me bud,” Zuko says grumpily. “And just,” he flashes Sokka a grin (oh so momentarily blinding), “trust me.”</p><p>They land outside a loud tavern with weird music playing inside. </p><p>“And the reason you’ve brought us to a seedy Earth Kingdom tavern is what now?” Katara questions, looking at the men around them with distaste.</p><p>Zuko points to a girl beating up half the guys here. “June.”</p><p>Realization dawns on Sokka. “Oh yeah, that weird bounty hunter with the giant mole.”</p><p>“Mole? Her skin is flawless,” Suki says, raising an eyebrow and smiling appreciatively at June.</p><p>Sokka snorts. “Someone caught your eye?”</p><p>Suki glares at him. “You know Sela is the only one for me, I’m allowed to admire beauty, though. And,” she smirks, “I’m way out of her league.”</p><p>Sokka laughs, nodding at her words. “But anyways, I was talking about her giant mole-creature that she rides around on.”</p><p>Zuko nods. “The shirshu. It's the only animal that can track Aang's scent anywhere in the world. It's the one shot we have of finding him.”</p><p>“I don’t know who this June lady is, but I like her,” Toph says as June punches another guy and catches her drink easily.</p><p>“Wait a second,” Sokka says to Zuko as they approach June. “She helped you attack us!”</p><p>“Yup,” Zuko replies bluntly. “Back in the good old days.”</p><p>Sokka shoves him, getting a shove back.</p><p>“Oh great,” June says dryly when she sees them, “it’s Prince Pouty. Where’s your creepy grandpa?”</p><p>“Prince Pouty,” Sokka grins, “I have got to use that one.” Zuko elbows him. “Ow,” Sokka says, and elbows him back.</p><p>“He’s my uncle,” Zuko tells June, “and he’s not here.”</p><p>“I see you worked things out with your girlfriend.” June’s eyes stray to Zuko’s left and how Sokka has his arm almost around Zuko’s (it’s really packed and squishy in here, okay?). “My mistake, it was your boyfriend you’d been hunting before.”</p><p>“He’s not my boyfriend!” Sokka says at the same time as Zuko, cheeks heating and avoiding Zuko’s eyes.</p><p>“Okay, okay. Sheesh, I was only teasing.” June sips her tea. “So what do you want?”</p><p>“I need your help finding the Avatar,” Zuko says.</p><p>“Hm,” June shrugs, sipping her tea again. “Doesn’t sound too fun.”</p><p>“Does the end of the world sound like more fun?” Zuko growls.</p><p>And that is how Sokka finds himself looking at June like she’s crazy when she tells him that Aang, the Avatar, one of his best friends, doesn’t exist.</p><p>“What do you mean Aang doesn’t exist? Do you mean he’s...y’know…”</p><p>“Nope,” June replies flatly. “We could find him if he were. Wow, it’s a real head scratcher,” she deadpans, getting on her shirshu. “See ya.”</p><p>“Wait!” Zuko calls to her. “I have another idea. There’s only one other person in this world who can help us face the Fire Lord. I’ll be right back with a smell sample.”</p><p>Sokka watches with the others as Zuko hurries to Appa and searches through his belongings. He returns holding something that makes Sokka’s fingers go straight to his nose, as do Katara’s and Suki’s.</p><p>“What...what <em> is </em> that?” Katara asks, voice muffled because of pinching her nose.</p><p>“You saved your uncle’s sweaty sandal?” Sokk asks, pinching his nose tighter. “Ugh.”</p><p>Zuko flushes, looking embarrassed.</p><p>“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Toph says, smiling.</p><p>“No!” Suki tells her. “No, it is not.”</p><p>Sokka laughs, the noise coming out funny because of his pinched nose.</p><p>Nyla the shirshu sniffs the sandal and starts bounding away.</p><p>“Hey! Wait up!” Zuko yells, hopping on Appa and automatically saying “Yip, yip.”</p><p>Sokka sees the lights and houses of Ba Sing Se in the distance, he raises his eyebrows as Appa lands to see Nyla digging at the ruins of the large broken wall. </p><p>“We’re going to Ba Sing Se?” Zuko questions, sharing a look with Sokka. Sokka holds his gaze, knowing they’re both thinking of their time in Ba Sing Se. </p><p>“Your uncle’s somewhere beyond that wall,” June tells them. “Nyla’s getting twitchy, so he can’t be too far, but this is where we part ways.”</p><p>“And why can’t <em> you </em> go to Ba Sing Se?” Sokka asks with a sigh.</p><p>“Can’t tell you that.” June winks. “Good luck!” she yells as she bounds away on Nyla.</p><p>Zuko stares at the wall for a very long time. Sokka can’t quite figure out what his expression means (it’s kind of a look of unfinished business? Everything went wrong here, and although Sokka finally understands it and has fully made peace with it, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make a little something ache in his chest. Unfinished business. That suits it the best. Maybe he’ll – <em> they’ll </em> – go back one day. Together). Zuko heaves a sigh. “We’ll camp here and find him in the morning.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka curls closer to Zuko on the back of Appa’s tail, snoring lightly as he sleeps. Zuko had made a campfire and they’d all gone to sleep; Sokka, Zuko, Suki, and Katara on Appa and Toph in her own earth tent. Sokka hadn’t been able to sleep at first but he’d turned so his chest was flush against Zuko’s back and his face was in the crook of Zuko’s neck, an arm around Zuko’s waist, and he’d fallen asleep with Zuko’s steady breathing and presence next to him.</p><p>Now, he hears a surprised, “Huh?” and opens his eyes to find Toph standing up, her feet shifting on the ground.</p><p>“Wuzzgoingon?” Sokka asks, keeping one arm around Zuko and rubbing his eye with the other. </p><p>“We’re surrounded by old people,” Toph says. “Or. They feel old, at least.”</p><p>“Well look who’s here,” says a familiar voice, followed by snorts.</p><p>King Bumi.</p><p>Sokka looks around to see Bumi, Piandao, Jeong Jeong, and – great, Pakku (Sokka still hasn’t forgiven him for – well, anything). He sits up, at the same time as Zuko, and Zuko flushes, looking away when he realizes the position they were in. Sokka removes the arm that was around Zuko and pulls his hair back up into a wolf-tail.</p><p>“Not just any old people,” Katara says, standing up. “These are great masters and friends of ours.” She bows to Pakku and Pakku returns the bow.</p><p>“It is respectful to bow to an old master.” Pakku extends his arms out. “But how about a hug for your new grandfather.”</p><p>Sokka rolls his eyes and pretends to gag as Katara hugs Pakku and talks excitedly about Gran-Gran. Their gran deserves more than this disgusting scumbag.</p><p>“Is there a particular reason you’re doing that?” Zuko asks.</p><p>“That’s Pakku,” Sokka says, “Katara’s waterbending master, and a sexist, no-good, jerk who doesn’t deserve my Gran-Gran, and who didn’t change at all and only taught Katara because her calling him out personally offended him, he didn’t even change his views on anything. I hate him. Gran-Gran ran away because she didn’t love him and now they’re married? Stupid.”</p><p>Zuko nods. “I’ll make a note not to talk to him at all through this.” He nudges Suki and Toph. “Right, Suki, Toph?”</p><p>Suki and Toph both nod.</p><p>Sokka grins at them just as Katara drags Zuko to Jeong Jeong. Sokka waits for them to finish being introduced to each other, and then he pulls Zuko over to meet Piandao.</p><p>Sokka bows to Piandao. “Master Piandao,” he greets.</p><p>“Hello, Sokka.” Piandao bows back and catches sight of Zuko. “Ah, Prince Zuko, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other. Do you still train with your <em> dao </em>?”</p><p>Zuko nods, bowing to Piandao. “Yes, Master. I wasn’t aware you knew Sokka.”</p><p>“I met Sokka on his travels in the Fire Nation, and he made his sword under my training. I taught him the ways of the sword.”</p><p>Sokka looks from the two of them. “Hold up, how do you two know each other?”</p><p>“Piandao was my old sword master, he taught me from a young age,” Zuko explains. “Though, I never did well during calligraphy lessons.”</p><p>Sokka smiles, nudging Zuko with his shoulder. “You and me both, bud.”</p><p>Piandao raises an eyebrow at that but doesn’t say anything. Sokka furrows his brows, wondering why he looked like that.</p><p>“So wait,” Suki says loudly after everyone’s been reacquainted or introduced. “How do you all know each other?”</p><p>“All old people know each other,” Bumi tells her, snorting. “Don’t you know that?”</p><p>“We’re all part of the same ancient secret society. A group that transcends the divisions of the four nations,” Piandao explains to all of them.</p><p>“The Order of the White Lotus,” Zuko says softly, like he just realized something.</p><p>“That’s the one,” Bumi says, nodding his head a little too emphatically.</p><p>“The White Lotus?” Sokka questions. “Like the Pai Sho tile? It’s Iroh’s favourite tile to play with. I have a white lotus on the hilt of my sword, and,” he turns to Piandao, “you gave me one.”</p><p>“You were given a white lotus tile by someone in the order?” Jeong Jeong asks, appearing at Piandao’s side. He looks at Piandao with raised eyebrows and then back at Sokka. “Young man, that means you are an honourary member of the White Lotus.”</p><p>“I am?”</p><p>Jeong Jeong nods. Sokka pretends not to notice Pakku’s eye roll and look of disgust at Piandao.</p><p>“Cool,” he says, smiling.</p><p>Jeong Jeong turns to the rest of them, his voice getting louder. “The White Lotus has always been about philosophy and beauty and truth. But about a month ago, a call went out that we were needed for something important.”<br/>“It came from a Grand Lotus: your uncle,” Piandao tells Zuko. “Iroh of the Fire Nation.” Zuko smiles and Sokka’s eyes catch on it instantly. Damn him and his beautiful looks, they’re trying to win a war and somehow Zuko keeps making Sokka catch his breath.</p><p><em> Why </em> is he in love with him?</p><p>“That’s who we’re looking for,” Toph says, appearing at Zuko’s side.</p><p>“Then we’ll take you to him.”</p><p>The White Lotus members start walking to their campsite. Sokka walks next to Zuko and tries not to think about how his heart jolts every time their arms brush.</p><p>This...love thing is becoming a problem (it always <em> was </em> one).</p><p>“So, Bumi, how did you end up escaping your imprisonment in Omashu?” Sokka asks.</p><p>Bumi stares at him. “Escape? I didn't escape. Everybody else escaped. There I was back in Omashu, waiting for just the right moment. I didn't know what or when, but I knew I'd know it when I knew it.”</p><p>Sokka tries to listen, but his mind goes completely blank because Zuko decides to lean closer to Sokka and listen to Bumi’s story right at that moment. Sokka smells the familiar scent of cinnamon and cedar and honey, and oh Spirits it is <em> really </em> becoming a problem. It had already <em> been </em> a problem, but now with the inherent knowledge that he loves Zuko, it’s even <em> worse </em>.</p><p>“So what about you guys? Did you do anything interesting on the day of the eclipse?” Bumi asks.</p><p>Sokka exchanges a look with Zuko, a smile tugging on his lips.</p><p>“Nah,” Zuko says in a nonchalant voice.</p><p>“No, not really,” Sokka says in the same tone, fighting to keep a grin off his face.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“Where...where is he?” Zuko asks when they reach the campsite, his voice small. Sokka puts a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>Piandao points to a large tent on the other side of the camp. “Your uncle’s in there, Prince Zuko.” Sokka is instantly reminded of seeing his dad at Chameleon Bay and being so scared.</p><p>He squeezes Zuko’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, he’ll forgive you.”</p><p>Zuko looks down at him, placing a hand over top of Sokka’s hand on his shoulder. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“I’m positive.”</p><p>Zuko spares him a tiny smile and goes over to the tent. Sokka stares after him and watches his steps falter. Katara gives Sokka a smile and a reassuring head nod before going to talk to Zuko in a way only she could.</p><p>Sokka turns to Toph and Suki as they make themselves comfortable, being offered food by White Lotus members. He lies down on the grass next to them.</p><p>“Do you guys think we can do this?” he asks, looking up at the clear, blue sky.</p><p>“Of course we can,” Suki reassures.</p><p>“Don’t have second thoughts now, Snoozles,” Toph says through a mouthful of food. </p><p>Sokka grins at her upside-down, but the grin quickly falls. “I’m not, I just...I can’t stop thinking about Aang. We don’t know where he is, and I guess I’m kind of worried.”</p><p>“It’ll be okay, Sokka.”</p><p>Yeah. They’re right.</p><p>Sokka wanders the camp with his sister later, her talking excitedly about everything.</p><p>“Isn’t it crazy how, like, every old guy we met is here?” Katara says, grinning.</p><p>“Yeah, not a ton of women though,” Sokka comments.</p><p>“Well, we didn’t meet any,” Katara points out.</p><p>Sokka snorts, thinking of their time wandering little villages in the Earth Kingdom. “Yeah, just that scam –”</p><p>“Katara, Sokka.”</p><p>No.</p><p>That – that voice. Oh Spirits no, it can’t be. Sokka closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. It can’t be her (Sokka’s <em> worst </em> nemesis). Nope. Nope.</p><p>“Oh, how wonderful to see you,” The Voice says.</p><p>“Aunt Wu?” comes Katara’s voice. <em> No </em>. “You’re a White Lotus?”</p><p>Sokka opens his eyes, takes one look at Aunt Wu, and turns right around. “Nope. N-o-p-e. <em> Nope </em>. I’m out. I am out. I’ll fight stupid Ozai by myself. I – I can’t handle this. Not strong enough. No thank you.”</p><p>“Sokka!”</p><p>Sokka raises his hands up and sticks his middle finger up, leaving.</p><p>The evening turns to night, and Sokka sneaks out of his tent for a walk, or maybe to talk to Yue or even Appa. As much as he loves sleep, it certainly doesn’t love him right now.</p><p>“Sokka!”</p><p>Sokka turns to see Zuko running towards him with a soft smile and tear stains on his face.</p><p>“Zuko? Wha –” He’s interrupted by Zuko barreling straight into him and wrapping his arms around Sokka’s waist, hugging him tightly. Sokka gently and hesitantly wraps his arms around Zuko, taking in everything about the hug. The way Zuko’s face fits perfectly into the crook of his neck, Zuko’s arms holding tightly around Sokka’s waist, Zuko’s soft breath and fresh tears on Sokka’s neck. Sokka holds him tight, surprised but pleased, breathing in the oh so familiar smell of him.</p><p>“He forgave me, he forgave me, he forgave me,” Zuko says over and over again, his hair tickling Sokka’s cheek.</p><p>Carding his fingers through Zuko’s hair, Sokka says, “I told you he would.”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t say anything else, he just hugs Sokka tighter and Sokka holds him close.</p><p>The hug lasts so long, longer than should be allowed, and Sokka memorizes everything about it.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka sits next to Zuko, holding a teacup in his hands as Zuko explains their plan to Iroh.</p><p>“Uncle, you’re the only person other than the Avatar who can possibly defeat the Father Lord.”</p><p>Sokka chokes on his tea while trying to hide a laugh.</p><p>“You mean the Fire Lord,” Toph says, taking a sip of tea,</p><p>“That’s what I just said!” Toph just shrugs.</p><p>Iroh hums, sipping his tea.</p><p>“We need you to come with us,” Zuko insists.</p><p>“No, Zuko, it won’t turn out well,” Iroh says, sipping tea.</p><p>“You can beat him! And we’ll be there to help.”</p><p>“Even if I did defeat Ozai,” Iroh’s eyes flash while drinking his tea, “and I don’t know that I could, it would be the wrong way to end the war. History would see it as just more senseless violence, a brother killing a brother to grab power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is for the Avatar to defeat the Fire Lord.”</p><p>“And then...then would you come and take your rightful place on the throne?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Uncle –”</p><p>“Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honour. It has to be <em> you </em>, Prince Zuko.”</p><p>Zuko looks away, his eyes connecting with Sokka’s, before he looks back. “U – unquestionable honour? But I’ve – I’ve made so many mistakes.” </p><p>“Yes, you have, my nephew,” Iroh agrees. “You’ve struggled; you’ve suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your <em> own </em> honour, and only you can restore the honour of the Fire Nation.”</p><p>But – but Zuko – Zuko wants to be <em> free </em>.</p><p>“I’ll try, Uncle.”</p><p>No, but Zuko wants to be free. How –</p><p>“Well, what if Aang doesn’t come back?” Toph asks.</p><p>“Sozin's Comet is arriving, and our destinies are upon us. Aang will face the Fire Lord. When I was a boy, I had a vision that I would one day take Ba Sing Se.” Iroh looks at all of them, smiling slightly. “Only now do I see that my destiny is to take it <em> back </em> from the Fire Nation, so the Earth Kingdom can be free again.” Sokka feels Iroh’s words settle in his bones, shooting through him like lightning.</p><p>“That’s why you gathered the members of the White Lotus,” Suki says.</p><p>“Yes. Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation, so that when the Fire Lord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order.” Iroh’s voice turns very serious. “But Azula will be there, waiting for you.”</p><p>“I can handle Azula,” Zuko says.</p><p>“Not alone!” Iroh counters. “You’ll need help.”</p><p>Zuko’s mouth sets into a firm line. “You’re right. Katara,” he turns to look at Sokka’s sister, “how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?”</p><p>Katara grins. “It would be my pleasure.”</p><p>Sokka has almost never been prouder of his sister than he is right now.</p><p>“What about us?” Sokka asks, feeling sort of neglected as he points to himself, Suki, and Toph. “What’s our destiny today?”</p><p>“What do you think it is?” Iroh says, smiling.</p><p>Sokka looks down, his mind racing. “I think...I think…” his gaze hardens, “I think that, even though we don’t know where Aang is, we need to do everything we can to stop the airship fleet.”</p><p>“And that means when Aang does face the Fire Lord, we’ll be right there if he needs us.” Toph’s voice is determined as she grins around at them all.</p><p>Iroh smiles widely at the five of them.</p><p>Sokka is a bundle of nerves as everyone prepares for everything. He reassures himself that it won’t be like the invasion, that it’ll be much better, but he can’t stop himself from worrying. His hands shake as he puts on his Water Tribe armour and holds his wolf helmet.</p><p>Katara hugs him tight, kissing him on the cheek and wishing him good luck before hopping on Appa.</p><p>Aunt Wu comes up to Sokka, and Sokka glares at her. She really has the <em>audacity</em> to come and talk to him.</p><p>“Sokka,” she says, “I want you to remember what I said back in my home.”</p><p>Sokka scoffs. “As if I could forget.”</p><p>
  <em> “Your future is full of struggle and anguish. Most of it self inflicted.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It's written all over your face.” </em>
</p><p>Had she been right? Sokka thinks of Yue and Zuko, and he thinks of his mom. All the pain he'd felt with what happened with them had been mostly his fault. Right? What if he was always going to be like this? What if he's just destined to be hurt all the time, to have to hide it.</p><p>“Remember, Sokka, the future is not always set in stone. It is you who makes it, your choices – the choices you have made up until now are the reason that your future might not be bright.” Aunt Wu rests a hand on his shoulder, her painted red lips in a smile. “You have to make the choice to change it, your future is made by you; fortune-telling isn't the only way to see ones future.”</p><p>Sokka stares at her, frowning. Does she know everything? About Zuko? She can't possibly, but it feels like she does. It feels like she can see into his heart and see every mistake he's made, everything he's feeling. How does she know?</p><p>“What –”</p><p>“I may not like you, Sokka – you seem very close minded and not open to fortune-telling, and I won't forget what you did in my village – but I sense a spark inside you that you're scared to let out. That would be your downfall, don't ruin your future.”</p><p>Sokka looks at her for a long time, confused. What does she know? Why is she saying this?</p><p>There's a call for Sokka's name and Sokka turns to look at Piandao who is waving him over.</p><p>Aunt Wu gives him one last look. “Remember what I've just said.” She turns away, leaving Sokka's heart feeling heavy. Sokka shakes himself off and goes to Piandao.</p><p>Piandao gives them a large eel-hound, Suki and Toph sit on it almost right away, Toph holding on to Suki’s arm. Piandao gives Sokka a map, and the gift is almost too much. Sokka feels tears prick his eyes as he hugs Piandao, whispering a thank you and gingerly holding the map. He spots Zuko talking to Iroh and his feet just won’t move to get on the eel-hound, he has to say <em> something </em> after all that they’ve been through together.</p><p>After all of his realizations…after everything Aunt Wu said. </p><p>Iroh leaves after giving Zuko a hug, and Sokka feels his feet move automatically to Zuko.</p><p>Sokka stares at him, memorizing every inch of his face. He wants to remember everything, just in case. Zuko looks at him with pink blooming on his cheeks; Sokka loves figuring out puzzles and he has tried with Zuko, and he’s close (so close) but some of Zuko seems to always remain a mystery to him. That won’t stop him from still trying to figure him out, though. He feels a smile form on his face, he doesn’t want to waste their time just by standing here and looking at Zuko (even though he could do it forever), but that’s what they seem to be doing.</p><p>(Aunt Wu's words ring in his mind.)</p><p>“Uhm, Sokka, I – I want to say sorry again for Ba Sing Se.” Zuko rubs the back of his neck, cheeks turning even more red. “And, well, I –”</p><p>Sokka is hit with a sudden urge to finally, actually take the plunge he didn’t take that fitful night on Ember Island. Before he can stop himself, he stands on his tiptoes and pushes his lips to Zuko’s. Zuko almost completely melts against him.</p><p>It's soft. It’s gentle. It’s purposeful. It’s firm. It’s short. Zuko’s lips feel soft against Sokka’s. Sokka tries to put a lot of unsaid things into the kiss, things he wants to say but can’t say out loud. Maybe Zuko understands if the way he shakily holds onto Sokka’s cheek is anything. Sokka holds his hands around Zuko’s arms. They stand there, the barest brush of lips, nothing like their first kiss, and hold onto each other. When they pull away, both of their eyes remain closed. Zuko rests his forehead against Sokka’s.</p><p>“Don’t die out there,” Sokka says softly, looking up to meet Zuko’s gold eyes. He holds Zuko’s hand for a second, lingering longer than necessary and looking into the pools of gold that search his face. Sokka drops Zuko's hand slowly, but not before pressing a lasting kiss to his hand, and turns to climb on the eel-hound, ignoring Toph (<em> how </em>Toph even knows anything, he doesn’t know, it was probably Suki, the little shit she is) and Suki's know-it-all smirks, and Katara's soft, watery smile.</p><p>“Goodbye, guys, we’ll all see each other soon,” Katara says. “Goodbye, General Iroh.”</p><p>“Goodbye, everyone. Today, destiny is our friend. I know it,” Iroh says.</p><p>Sokka takes one last look at the campsite, his sister, and Zuko, before the eel-hound starts moving.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>The whole world is lit with oranges and reds and bright yellows blinding Sokka.</p><p>“It’s weird to say, but the comet actually looks beautiful,” Suki tells them. Sokka has to agree with her.</p><p>“Too bad the Fire Lord’s about to use it to destroy the world,” Toph says flatly. Sokka has to agree with her too.</p><p>The eel-hound arrives at the shore of the airship base, but the airships have already taken off. Toph grins wickedly as she launches them up onto the nearest airship. Toph gets rid of the pilot and Suki takes control of the airship.</p><p>“What are we gonna do about the rest of the crew?” Suki asks, taking the wheel.</p><p>Sokka looks outside and thinks to himself.</p><p>
  <em> “You can’t fight firebenders with fun.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You should try it sometime.” </em>
</p><p>Sokka snaps his fingers. “I got it! Take us down closer to the water.” Sokka grabs the speaker at the controls, clearing his throat and putting on his fake Wang Fire accent (no, it’s not because it’s the only one he can do). “Attention, crew, this is your captain speaking. Everyone please report to the bomb bay immediately for hot cakes and sweet cream. We have a very special birthday to celebrate.”</p><p>Sokka waits for them all to have been in the bay and then pulls a lever that opens the flap, letting them all fall into the water. He looks out a broken window, gaze determined. “Fire Lord Ozai, here we come,” he mutters. Sokka grabs the throttle and pushes it forward.</p><p>Sokka’s hopes dim when he realizes that they won’t catch up to Ozai, but then –</p><p>“What just happened?” Suki yells.</p><p>Sokka grins excitedly. “Aang! He’s back!”</p><p>Suki smiles and Toph whoops loudly.</p><p>“This means we just have the airships to worry about,” Sokka says determinedly. “Let’s. Do. This.”</p><p>“How, Captain Boomerang? I can’t see outside of this floating hunk of metal,” Toph says.</p><p>Sokka smiles as an idea comes to him, looking at Aang before he looks back at the two girls in front of him. “Airship slice!” Suki raises an eyebrow.</p><p>Sokka takes the wheel, steering it and spinning it. The firebenders start firing, but Sokka closes his eyes and lets the controls come to him. He flips switches and pulls a lever down, the needle turns to maximum. Perfect.</p><p>Sokka grits his teeth, voice determined. “It’s gonna be a rough ride! We need to get to the top of this thing, <em> fast </em>.” He grabs both their hands and starts running.</p><p>They climb up the ladder, as the ship starts to slice into the others. Sokka lets out a breath of relief when they get on top, but (of course, of fucking course) part of the airship falls off and Sokka is left holding Toph’s hand while their piece of the airship floats away from Suki’s. </p><p>“Suki!” Sokka yells, distraught, trying to reach for her.</p><p>Suki jumps onto another airship. “I’m okay! Just finish the mission!”</p><p>Sokka’s hand stays outstretched. “No,” he whispers, thinking of the invasion.</p><p>Toph squeezes his hand. “Sokka, I think we’ve gotta –”</p><p>Sokka turns around.</p><p>“Jump!” he yells at the same time as her. </p><p>They jump simultaneously, holding each other’s hands so tightly it hurts. Landing on another airship, Sokka quickly hurries over to Toph and shields her from any falling debris, holding her tightly. </p><p>They stand up again, running on top of more airships. Sokka tells Toph to jam the airship they’re on into a turning position and it crashes into the others. Just like Sokka wanted.</p><p>“Have I ever mentioned how sweet it is that you invented metalbending?” Sokka says.</p><p>Toph grins. “You could stand to mention it more.”</p><p>A firebender comes out of the ship and fires at them. Dragging Toph along, Sokka jumps off the ship, planting his sword in the side of the vessel to stop their descent. He manages to slow them down, but they still fall off and land on a platform below. Sokka yells in pain as he looks down at his leg – shit. </p><p>Legs shouldn’t bend that way. He pushes the pain away, focusing on Toph.</p><p>She’s fallen off the platform, they’re both on the edge. Sokka catches her with his hand, holding on as tight as possible so she doesn’t fall.</p><p>“My leg!” Sokka grunts. “H – hang on, Toph.”</p><p>“Aye, aye, Captain,” comes Toph’s voice, lacking its usual teasing tone.</p><p>Two firebenders show up, cornering them. Sokka throws his boomerang at one, knocking him out. He kicks his sword into his hand and throws it at the remaining soldier's platform; it cuts right through the metal and plummets to the forest below.</p><p>Sokka winces, looking down sadly. “Goodbye, space sword.”</p><p><em> Shit </em> is quite possibly the only thing Sokka can think as more firebenders surround them.</p><p>It becomes harder to hold Toph, and she almost slips from his grip. Sokka holds onto her with all the strength he has, just with his fingers.</p><p>Sokka closes his eyes. “I – I don’t think Boomerang’s coming back, Toph. It looks like this is the end.” He takes a deep breath, ignoring the ache in his chest. It shouldn’t be this way, really. Toph has her whole life (<em> you do too </em> , a voice tells him) ahead of her, and this shouldn’t be the end. But Sokka would rather go down fighting with her than any other way. It’s so stupid because sometimes he thinks that he’s responsible for all of them, that he has to take care of them, but he’s a kid too. Isn’t he? He doesn’t cry, doesn’t feel any tears well up in his eyes at all. Which is strange, he’s cried so much these past weeks, months, shouldn’t he cry now? Now, in his last final moments? He closes his eyes, it’s funny to look at the world while it’s being beautiful and while he might die. Sokka thinks of his dad, his mom, his gran, Bato, Katara, Aang, Toph, Suki, Zuko. He whispers a silent “I love you” to them, all of them, his family. His family. His <em> chosen </em> family, his <em> found </em> family.</p><p>Then. </p><p>Then –</p><p>Somehow, the airship gets struck by a different one. The small, sliver of a moment where he thought they were done for is over. </p><p>Sokka lets Toph fall onto the other airship before jumping down himself, hurting his leg more in the process. He falls over in pain, squeezing his eyes shut.</p><p>“How did that happen?” Toph asks, her voice is shaky. Sokka doesn’t comment on it. “Did Boomerang come back?”</p><p>Sokka looks up and sees Suki looking at them with a wide smile as she rides the last functioning airship. “No. Suki did.”</p><p>Suki rushes over to them and hugs them both tightly, hurting Sokka’s leg. Again.</p><p>Sokka lets out a quiet yelp. Suki looks down. “Sokka, your leg! What happened?”</p><p>“It’s a crazy ass story, Sukes, maybe one day I’ll tell you,” Sokka says with a grin.</p><p>With all the airships taken down and no more firebenders to burn everything, the three of them turn to watch Aang while he’s fighting Ozai. They’re far away, and it’s hard to see, and they only catch the tail end of the fighting, but then, then everything is lit in orange and blue.</p><p>Sokka watches in confusion (and horror?) as the orange colour consumes almost everything, but Aang’s eyes open, shining everything in blue and hurting Sokka’s eyes. Somehow it’s beautiful.</p><p>Aang bends the water from the ocean over the burning land, extinguishing the fires. Suki and Toph put their arms around Sokka to help support him as they make their way to Aang.</p><p>Sokka has never ever been proud of anyone in his life. More happy, even. If only his stupid leg wasn’t broken, then he could run over and hug Aang because he honestly deserves a hug.</p><p>“So did you, you know...finish the job?” Suki asks, pointing at Ozai. </p><p>“I’m still alive,” Ozai grunts slowly, sounding emotionally dead at least. Suki backs away from him, holding on to Sokka’s arm. </p><p>“I learned there was another way to defeat him and restore balance,” Aang explains. “I took his bending away.”</p><p>“Wow!” Toph says, surprised. “Who taught you that?”</p><p>“A giant lion turtle.”</p><p>“You have the craziest adventures when you disappear.”</p><p>Sokka smirks at Ozai, channeling all his hatred for him in his next sentences. “Well, look at you, buster. Now that your firebending’s gone, I guess we should call you the Loser Lord.”</p><p>“I am the Phoenix King!” Ozai says weakly, looking pathetic. Sokka glares at him.</p><p>“Oh, sorry,” Toph mocks. “Didn’t mean to offend you, Phoenix King of Getting His Butt Whooped.”</p><p>“Yeah! Or how about King of the...guys...who don’t win?” Suki tries to add. Sokka laughs, feeling slightly lightheaded, from either his leg or the airship fleet or just about anything. </p><p>“Leave the nicknames to us, honey.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Adults are called, Ozai is put in chains, Aang is talking to Dad, and Sokka asks Toph and Suki to come with him to find his space sword. </p><p>Sokka feels funny.</p><p>They’re walking in the general direction he dropped it in, near burnt trees and stuff, and he feels funny.</p><p>The noises of the airships ring in his ears, and his leg aches, and his hair is a mess with strands falling in his face. Sokka feels funny.</p><p>It doesn’t. Feel like they’ve won? Not really? Sokka doesn’t know how to describe it, but it’s just...funny. Different. He feels distant from everything. Like none of it actually happened. It’s like a dream. </p><p>When they see his space sword, Sokka’s face lights up, but he still doesn’t feel right. There’s just something missing. Like a feeling.</p><p>Something is missing.</p><p>And then –</p><p>It’s Toph who starts crying first.</p><p>It comes as a surprise to Sokka and not a surprise at the same time.</p><p>That’s the something missing; a feeling, an emotion, hurt, pain.</p><p>He and Suki hear the quiet sniffle as she turns her back to them and they exchange a glance before wordlessly going over to her and hugging her together. It’s hard to remember, sometimes, that Toph is just a small twelve year old; with all her toughness and how she doesn’t want to be treated like a child. She is, though. She is a kid. As are all of them.</p><p>Toph’s knees give out and the three of them fall to the floor, on the grass, next to a few burnt trees, Sokka’s space sword on the ground. They’re clutching each other and Sokka feels tears prickle his eyes. Suki is crying into his shoulder with her arms wrapped around him, Sokka in the middle of hw two girls. </p><p>Sokka doesn’t know why they’re crying, none of them do, but he does know that he fucking loves them. He really fucking loves them. And he wouldn’t have wanted to take down a bunch of stupid Fire Nation airships with anyone else.</p><p>He doesn’t know how long they sit there, arms wrapped around each other; but soon they all get up simultaneously, wiping dried tears from their faces. Sokka’s knees are shaky, and his fingers tremble as Suki pulls him up. He picks up his sword, his leg aching, and he limps away with the both of them.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Dad and Bato pull him into a hug right when they see him.</p><p>“Watch the leg, watch the leg!” Sokka yells as Dad squeezes him so tight he can’t breathe. </p><p>“I’m so proud of you, Sokka!” Dad kisses his hair. “I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>“Thanks, Dad,” Sokka mumbles, smiling into his dad’s chest. </p><p>Bato joins in on the hug and Sokka breathes in both of their sea salt smell.</p><p>“Do you guys know if the others...?”</p><p>“A hawk was sent to us a little while ago,” Bato says. </p><p>“And?” Sokka bites his lip in worry and anticipation.</p><p>“Katara and Prince Zuko are fine, Princess Azula did not become Fire Lord.”</p><p>Sokka breathes out a sigh of relief, hearing the same sound come from Suki, Toph, and Aang.</p><p>“Koda filled me in on how much Prince Zuko has done to gain the trust of all of you,” says Bato. “You picked a good one, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka flushes all the way down to his toes. “Oh no, Z – Zuko and I aren’t like that.”</p><p>Dad raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything.</p><p>“So what did you guys do after we had to part ways at the Western Air Temple?” Sokka asks. </p><p>“Haru suggested that we break everyone else out from prison.” Dad shrugs. “So that’s what we did, we got his dad out, and Bato and the other Water Tribe warriors, and the Kyoshi Warriors too.”</p><p>Suki perks up. “The Kyoshi Warriors? Where?”</p><p>Dad points behind him. “They’re over –”</p><p>Suki rushes off, sprinting away before he can finish. Sokka watches with a smile on his face as she smiles wildly at some prison uniform clad women, and then he smiles wider as she kisses a tall girl with long black hair and brown skin, kissing her with such enthusiasm that she lifts her off her feet despite her short stature compared to Sela’s.</p><p>“Sela!” Suki says giddily.</p><p>“Hi, Sukes,” Sela greets, blinking down at Suki with big brown eyes. “I don’t think I’m ever going to recover from that kiss.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“So what are we doing now?” asks Toph.</p><p>“We go to the capitol,” Dad answers. He looks back at Sokka, putting a hand on his shoulder. “We came here by boat, but with your leg I think it might be best to go by airship. It’ll be faster.”</p><p>Sokka shudders. “No. No, no, no. I don’t think I ever want to go on an airship again, I never wanna see one again. I want to go on a boat. Just a Water Tribe boat.”</p><p>Dad smiles. “Okay. </p><p>Bato and Dad help him into their boat and give him a box to sit on next to the edge. </p><p>Sokka closes his eyes and lets the wind blow his hair, it feels cool on his face. Suki is talking animatedly to the Kyoshi Warriors, Toph is giving Aang her recount of their story, Dad and Bato are talking, for once, though, Sokka would prefer not to say anything. He just looks out at the salty sea.</p><p>When they reach the Fire Nation, Dad gives him a crutch to help him walk. </p><p>Katara barrels into him straight away, giving him a hug and then pulling Aang, Toph, and Suki in as well. “We did it! You did it! Is everyone okay? Are any of you hurt?”</p><p>Sokka pointedly looks away.</p><p>“Sokka broke his leg,” Toph tells Katara, grinning.</p><p>Sokka elbows her.</p><p>“Sokka!” Katara admonishes. She takes him by his shoulders and looks down, examining it. “I can't do much, but I’ll put it in a proper cast. Is anyone else hurt? Aang, you’re bruised almost everywhere, and, Toph, your palm is bleeding, and that cut on your leg, Suki! I’ll have to work on everyone.”</p><p>“What about you? Are you hurt?” Sokka looks his sister up and down but finds no sign of any injuries.</p><p>“No, Azula didn’t do much to hurt me, but I’m definitely exhausted – physically and mentally.” Katara scrubs a hand over her face. “I mean, you should see Zuko –”</p><p>“What about Zuko? What happened?”</p><p>Katara looks down. “Azula...shot lightning at him.”</p><p>“And he...?”</p><p>“He redirected most of it away from his heart, but it’s going to scar and it’ll take a while to heal. I think the lightning stayed in his body for too long, he’ll be weak for a while”</p><p>“But he’s okay, right?” Katara nods and Sokka feels like a whole weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. His friends are okay, his sister is okay, Zuko is okay. It’s okay. It’s all okay.</p><p>Katara spots Dad and then rushes over and hugs him, pulling Bato and Sokka with her too.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you two, and your mother is too,” Dad says. Katara wipes fresh tears from her eyes. “Tell us the whole story later, go to the infirmary.”</p><p>Katara nods and she drags everyone to the infirmary, not even listening to their protests. </p><p>“Tara, have you been running the palace this whole time?” Sokka asks.</p><p>Katara snorts. “Kind of? It’s mostly empty, lots of people were banished, I think.”</p><p>Sokka looks at her weirdly but she doesn’t say anything else, instead stopping them inside the royal infirmary.</p><p>Sokka’s heart does a double take when he sees Zuko lying on a bed, bandages wrapped around his chest. Other than that though, Zuko seems fine. If him playing with rainbow fire is anything to suggest that.</p><p>Toph whoops. “Sparky’s okay!”</p><p>“Spirits, that must’ve been one bad lightning strike, Sifu Hotman,” Aang says, looking at Zuko’s bandages. “I know the feeling.”</p><p>Zuko laughs hoarsely. “Are you guys all okay?”</p><p>Suki shrugs. “We’re all pretty fine. Sokka broke his leg.”</p><p>“Is that the way you’re all going to introduce me to everyone?” Sokka groans.</p><p>“It isn’t introducing you if you’ve already met them,” Toph mumbles.</p><p>Aang looks around at all of them. “We have so much to do, don’t we?”</p><p>“Starting with treating your injuries,” Katara interjects. “Toph, give me your right arm.”</p><p>Toph does so, but she grumbles about it the whole time.</p><p>“You’ve strained it,” Katara says, “and you’ve got nail marks in your palm, who was holding your hand so hard it started bleeding?”</p><p>“That would be me,” Sokka says sheepishly. “I had to hold onto her so she wouldn’t fall.”</p><p>“Can we not talk about that?” Toph snaps, and Sokka has the feeling she’s still not over it and she’s probably still shaken. The others don’t say anything else.</p><p>Katara finishes with Toph, Aang, and Suki quickly, reprimanding them the whole time. Sokka doesn’t listen much, he watches Zuko instead.</p><p>Zuko looks...well, hurt. His face is pale, and he’s grimacing in pain. Sokka frowns.</p><p>“What happened?” he asks.</p><p>Zuko attempts to shrug but then winces and stops. “Not that interesting. Azula tried to shoot lighting at Katara, I jumped in to stop her but I couldn’t redirect it properly, and now, here we are.”</p><p>“You’re explaining that in proper detail later.”</p><p>Zuko smiles slightly. “What happened to your leg?”</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “I broke it falling off of an airship.” Zuko’s eye widens and Sokka feels a grin form on his face. “Honestly, <em> Li </em>, the story is insane.”</p><p>Zuko smiles at him, holding his gaze for a long time. There’s a lot Sokka wants to say, but he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know where to start.</p><p>Toph interrupts the moment by asking, “So, is Sparks over here the Fire Lord now?”</p><p>Zuko looks down, frowning. “No? Not yet, at least.”</p><p>“The Fire Sages wanted to crown Zuko right then and there, or at least plan it now,” Katara explains. “But I didn’t let them, I had to heal Zuko first and I needed you all to come here.”</p><p>Sokka frowns. “Will you...will you guys give us a minute?” Katara’s eyebrows raise all the way up to her hairline, Suki exchanges a smirk with Aang, and Toph punches Sokka in the arm before she leaves with the rest of them. Spirits, he’s really got a weird family.</p><p>Zuko looks up at Sokka. “What’s up?”</p><p>"Do you really want to be Fire Lord, Zuko?" Sokka asks softly. "You’re sixteen, is this really what you want? I saw – I saw your face when Iroh said it at the White Lotus camp. You’re – you – after it all, that's what you want to do?"</p><p>"All I’ve ever wanted was to be the Fire Lord, Sokka." Zuko blinks up at him, mouth formed into a frown. "Well. At least, I always thought that was what I wanted. I used to dream about Azula’s face when I would be crowned, her envy, her annoyance. Now...now, I don't know. It’s not like I’ll get to see her, see her face."</p><p>"You would – you would make an incredible leader, Zuko, that much I know." Sokka’s fingers hover over Zuko’s, and Zuko takes his hand without hesitation. Spirits, he must be really hurt to hold Sokka’s hand without thinking. "But what do you actually want? Do you want to rule a nation at sixteen? What do you want?"</p><p>Zuko looks up at him with bright gold eyes. "I – I – I want to travel the world, I want to see it without thinking about finding the Avatar or the looming war or having to save the nations. I...want to spend time with you guys."</p><p>"So do that!" Sokka says. "Do that! After everything, you deserve to have a few years of peace."</p><p>"I can't, Sokka, I have a duty to my nation."</p><p>"How is it fair that you have to rule a nation as a kid when you finally have the time to be free?" Sokka asks incredulously.</p><p>"That isn't how it works, Sokka," Zuko says. "I have to! Who is going to help fix the world, who is going to help fix the Fire Nation? I can't just run around with you guys not doing anything!"</p><p>"Why not, Zuko? Why not? We need to fix the world too. We’re going to. We need to rebuild the south, get in touch with the Northern Tribe, fix the Earth Kingdom – Ba Sing Se, the Earth Kingdom colonies, the whole world. But...Zuko," Sokka frowns slightly squeezing his hand, "We can't do it all alone. We’re not just leaving you and doing it alone. How is that fair? We all found each other, you're all my family. What’s the point of finding your family and leaving them after? There is so much to do in the world, to fix everything, we have to do it with you."</p><p>"Sokka –"</p><p>"I’m serious, Zuko! I don't think...I –" Sokka looks away. “This isn’t your home, is it? It hasn’t been your home for so long, Zuko, how will you just be able to stay here?”</p><p>“Sokka, I have a duty to my people, my country.”</p><p>“You have a duty to yourself first!” Sokka persists. “I don’t know how I can go back home after everything, after traveling the world and never staying in one place for too long, how can I just go back? I don’t know if it’ll feel the same. After all of this, after traveling the world for years and only returning to the Fire Nation briefly, do you want to stay here in a place that made you unhappy? Do you want to be Fire Lord?”</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“No! Listen. This isn’t your home. The Southern Water Tribe will always be my home, but it isn’t my only home. It isn’t the only place where I belong. You don’t belong here forever, shut away doing things you don’t want to do.” Sokka plays with Zuko’s fingers, not meeting his eyes. “Home isn’t where you grew up, it’s where you feel the happiest, it’s where you belong. My home is with my family, not just by blood – my chosen family. Your...your home is with us too.”</p><p>Zuko softens completely. “Sokka...I –” he sighs, “– I want to help fix the Fire Nation, Sokka.” Zuko glares at the floor. “I want to restore honour to my nation, that’s what I want to do.”</p><p>“You don’t get to be free!” Sokka yells. “How is that fair? Why don’t you get to be free, Zuko, why don’t you get what you want – what you need? Where’s your happy ending?”</p><p>“I don’t get a ‘happy ending’, Sokka,” Zuko says softly, rubbing circles with his thumb on Sokka’s hand. “Nothing is fair.”</p><p>“You deserve to be happy,” Sokka tells him. He looks back at Zuko, blinking with wide eyes and getting lost in the pools of gold. Spirits, he’s pretty. “I want you to be happy.”</p><p>There are a million ways to say “I love you” without saying those defining three words. It’s in the little things, the ones that warm your heart. Sokka means it in those six words he says while holding Zuko’s gaze. He doesn’t know if Zuko understands it, or if he sees it in a romantic way or not, but either way, Sokka means it in those words. He hopes that Zuko does understand it, because there is so much that Sokka wants to say, stuff he can’t say yet, or isn’t ready to say. There’s a lot, especially after what they’ve been through since Ba Sing Se, but he won’t jinx this yet. Just keep it simple, and say what he can’t, conveying it without speaking the words out loud. </p><p>“S – Sokka, I want you to be happy too.”</p><p>“Then don’t throw your whole life away to take care of a country at such a young age!” Sokka feels tears stinging his eyes which is so <em> stupid </em>. “How is it fair that Iroh gets to be happy and have his tea shop in Ba Sing Se while you’re stuck somewhere you won’t be happy?”</p><p>“Uncle’s time has passed, it was never his destiny to take the throne, he won’t be happy,” Zuko responds.</p><p>The tears start to fall and Sokka hates it because he <em> hates </em> crying and crying is so <em> stupid </em> and now he’s crying for no reason at all and it makes him feel so... <em> stupid </em> . “ <em> Your </em> time hasn’t even begun, you idiot! You’re literally sixteen, man, you have everything ahead of you! And – I – I just – ugh, fuck, now I’m crying and I hate crying. It’s so gross, look what you did to me, you jerk.”</p><p>Zuko snorts and then winces slightly in pain. “Being Fire Lord is what I have to do, Sokka, I couldn’t live with myself if Uncle had to give up his tea shop and his happiness because I can’t handle it.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do everything for everyone all the time, Zuko!” Sokka sniffles into his clothes, rubbing at his nose. “Do something for yourself for once!”</p><p>“This <em> is </em> for me!” Zuko says. “I have to, I have to fix what my ancestors have done. It’s what I was born to do.”</p><p>“No!” Sokka insists. “You should – you're set on this? A hundred percent?” Zuko nods. “And this has to happen now?”</p><p>“I need to assume the throne now to restore balance.”</p><p>“You need to have the ability to fucking walk first, stupid.”</p><p>“Sokka –”</p><p>“Fine. Fine.” Sokka closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I don't want you to overwork yourself, I don't want this to be such a heavy burden for you. What if it's too much. They need to go slow. They all need to go slow – a slow coronation, slow when working on things.”</p><p>Zuko frowns. “Sokka –”</p><p>“I will be getting Iroh to discuss this.”</p><p>Zuko’s mouth snaps shut. He rolls his eyes. “You’re so stubborn.”</p><p>Sokka grins. “Yeah, but you love it.”</p><p>He takes great pleasure in the red that blooms across Zuko’s cheeks at that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>full credits to pencilscratchins on tumblr for the idea of aunt wu being a white lotus !! check out her comic on<br/><a href="https://pencilscratchins.tumblr.com/post/634467744722616320/reasons-aunt-wu-should-be-in-the-white-lotus">tumblr</a> </p><p>last chapter is the next one ??? i might cry ????? it should probably be posted on the 4th or the 5th, i'm aiming for the 4th tho but who knows i might even be able to get it done tomorrow</p><p>next chapter features: the aftermath, turtleducks, family, and love - whether it's romantic or not</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. i never leave it unsaid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>part ii — chapter 21</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>After Zuko's coronation, they stay in the Fire Nation. It’s actually fun, if Sokka is forced to admit it. It’s fun. All of them together, running around the palace and just being kids. Not that they’ve done much running, seeing as they’re all a little injured. Suki gets her Kyoshi Warriors back in costume, and Ty Lee joins them but she spends most of her time with Mai. Katara fixes Sokka a cast and he uses his crutch to walk everywhere, he’s faring better than Zuko who is so weak that he only just got to the walking stage. Sokka’s pretty much okay, he’s happy even.</p><p>It’s just…</p><p>There’s still so much to do, Zuko is under so much pressure and stress (Sokka <em>wishes</em> that Zuko had <em>listened</em> to him) and they’re talking about where to start to fix the four nations. There have been some riots and protests, but nothing too big yet. And...and...and it’s stupid, but Sokka just feels slightly uncomfortable in the palace. It’s huge, and dark, and it gives him nightmares. His friends help with that, though, which moves it down on Sokka’s priority/problem list. Then...then there is the...Zuko stuff.</p><p>They kissed. Twice, actually. Sokka had initiated it first for both of them and he tries his best not to dwell on that fact. And the kiss before Sozin’s Comet was impulsive, Sokka hadn’t been thinking. He should have been thinking. Zuko did seem to enjoy it but what if he hadn’t wanted it? And it’s not like kissing is everything in a relationship, it’s not even like kissing is what guarantees love.</p><p>Not that Zuko loves Sokka. No. He definitely doesn’t.</p><p>(Sometimes, though, sometimes Sokka thinks he does. Like, in the way he banters with Sokka; how he knows when Sokka is feeling down; how he recognizes Sokka’s little nervous movements, and tolerates the constant bouncing of his leg; in the way they have their mini competitions, their challenges; the way he tells Sokka things he doesn’t tell others; how he apologizes and knows when to draw the line; how he reassures Sokka; how he makes sure Sokka is okay, physically and mentally, tending to his wounds; how he knows just what to do to cheer Sokka up; in the way he tells Sokka: “Agni, you’re so fucking anoying” all while smiling; how he holds Sokka’s hand in a way nobody else does, nobody else can; the way he looks so sad when any of them mention leaving, especially Sokka; his little shy smiles that he tries to hide every time he looks at Sokka; in the way he <em>knows</em> Sokka. The way he does these little things that allow Sokka to have a sliver of hope. But it isn’t important. Sokka can live with the fact that Zuko is just his friend. Maybe he’ll fall in love with another Fire Nation idiot.)</p><p>They’ve all taken to sleeping in the same room. Zuko usually gets the big bed because he was, you know, shot by lightning, and the rest of them sleep on cushions and pillows on the ground much to Zuko’s dismay. But. Zuko always sneaks down to sleep with them and they always end up sprawled together on the floor, feet and hair in each other’s faces. Sokka loves it (but one of them always, without fail, wakes up from a nightmare).</p><p>Sometimes they stay up late and Katara makes them braid each other’s hair. It’s always the same order. Toph in front, Zuko behind her, Sokka behind Zuko, Suki behind Sokka, Katara behind Suki, and Aang behind Katara. It’s the only thing they can do together to still feel like kids. Mai and Ty Lee joined them one time which resulted in everyone fighting over who got to braid Ty Lee’s hair because it was so long and silky (Mai got to and Zuko braided Mai’s).</p><p>The war might be over, but not everything is. Sokka is constantly called in for meetings with diplomats and governors, despite being sixteen and literally only just starting to walk without his crutch. Zuko has to go in and out of meetings, talking about what he’s going to do, and Spirits they’re all so stressed out. When Sokka was younger, he always wanted to be involved, now he just wants to get a real good night’s sleep.</p><p>It’s not that he doesn’t want to be involved in the fixing of the world, it’s just that he’d like a moment of peace first. </p><p>They're talking about plans to rebuild the south, and Sokka will have to leave and of course he wants to go home but home just isn't one place anymore (there are people he doesn't want to leave). Around a week, in around a week he'll have to leave. He'll go home to his dad and his gran and his tribe, Aang will go to each air temple and maybe bring Katara with him (Sokka isn't sure what's going on between them), Toph says she doesn't know what she's going to do but she'll probably go see her parents one last time and maybe Katara will go with her (Sokka isn't sure what's going on between them either), Suki wants to go back to Kyoshi Island and start training younger girls and maybe expand her warriors. He's gonna miss them, and it makes him feel something probably oogie and gross inside.</p><p>Sokka wakes up with his head on Zuko’s shoulder and his hair in his mouth. Sokka sits up, wiping the drool from his mouth and looking around. It’s just him and Zuko, meaning the others must have already gotten up and let them sleep. He untangles his hand from Zuko’s hair, making sure not to ruin the little braids he’d done the previous night, and stretches both arms, yawning. Sokka holds on to the edge of the bed behind him to stand up, grabbing his crutch to help him walk. </p><p>“Sokka?” says a groggy voice behind him. Sokka turns around to see Zuko rubbing at his good eye, looking around, his hair a wavy mess. Sokka grins.</p><p>“‘Sup, sleepyhead.”</p><p>“You totally jus’ woke up too, don’ call me tha’,” Zuko grumbles. His voice is raspier than usual, the way it is every time he wakes up; it makes butterflies flutter in Sokka’s stomach. “Where’s e’ryone else?” His words slur, the way they always do when he wakes up. Sokka sighs, he should stop thinking things like that.</p><p>“I think they all already got up,” Sokka says. “Wanna get breakfast? We can make up names for all the servants that look at us weirdly.”</p><p>Zuko gives him a half smile, nodding, Sokka wants to trace his mouth when he does that.</p><p>No. Stop it.</p><p>They get ready silently, and Sokka puts an arm around Zuko to support him (and himself) as they walk to the dining hall.</p><p>The rest of their friends are already sitting there, eating their food and talking to –</p><p>“Uncle!” Zuko says loudly, hurrying over to Iroh even though he shouldn’t be running. Iroh pulls him into a hug right away.</p><p>“I didn’t know this was the new custom for Fire Nation greetings, Fire Lord Zuko,” Iroh says, smiling and patting Zuko’s back.</p><p>“Let me have this one, Uncle,” Zuko mumbles.</p><p>Sokka smiles at them, and sits down at the table next to Toph.</p><p>“Did you two sleep well?” Toph smirks at him, snickering as she drinks her tea.</p><p>Sokka furrows his brows at her in confusion. “Yeah? Why – Toph, shut up.”</p><p>She dissolves into sniggers along with Aang and Suki, not even bothering to hide them.</p><p>“Sokka,” Iroh says with a smile, he gestures to a Pai Sho board on the table, “how about a game? It’s been a long time since we played together.”</p><p>Sokka smiles, giving Zuko one last glance before he turns to Iroh. “Yeah. I’d love to, although this time I <em> will </em> beat you on my first try.”</p><p>He notices Zuko staring at him with a soft smile when Iroh says, “We will see about that.”</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka helps Zuko into a red and gold robe, carefully going around his bandages and pulling it close, tying the sash around his waist. He smooths the wrinkles out, absentmindedly.</p><p>“I have actual servants who can do this stuff, y’know,” Zuko tells him, but it lacks his usual teasing tone, he sounds slightly irritated.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t look at him. “Mmm, and you’d rather some random people did this?”</p><p>Zuko mumbles a reluctant, “No,” and glares at the ceiling.</p><p>“Is something wrong?” Sokka asks, looking up at him.</p><p>Zuko frowns, glaring at Sokka now. “Are you serious?”</p><p>Sokka raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”</p><p>“I can’t believe this.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with you?” Sokka fixes the collar of the robe, smoothing out more wrinkles, as a crease forms in between his brows.</p><p>“Are we not going to talk about it?” Zuko grits out. </p><p>“Talk about <em> what </em>?”</p><p>Zuko glares at him even harder, a feat Sokka thought would be impossible. “Are you – the kiss! Before Sozin’s Comet! Are we not going to talk about that?” </p><p>Oh. “Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah, ‘oh’.”</p><p>Sokka backs away slightly. He hadn’t thought much about that (incorrect. He thinks about it daily, he thinks about Zuko’s content sigh, he thinks about resting his forehead against Zuko’s, he thinks about how it was their last moment of peace, he thinks about it constantly). Sokka hadn’t really expected Zuko to ask about that, to talk about it, he hadn’t thought it would even be in their priorities right now.</p><p>“I,” Sokka struggles to speak, “uh, I – I – well – did you – did you not like it?”</p><p>The tip of Zuko’s good ear turns red. “Well, yes I did. Of course I did. But. We didn’t talk about it? Why did you do it?”</p><p>“Did you not want me to do it?” Sokka takes another step backward, hurt, and Zuko’s eye widens as he takes a step forward so they’re back at the same distance.</p><p>“No!” he hurries to say. “No, I – why did you do it?”</p><p>“Because I –” Sokka closes his eyes, searching for an answer except there <em> isn’t </em> one that he can tell Zuko because he’s in <em> love </em> with him. He <em> loves </em> him. He can’t say that. Not yet at least. All of his words come out in a tumbling rush. “Because, well, I was scared! I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again, if you were ever going to see <em> me </em> again. I didn’t know what to say, what to do, after everything we’ve been through! We – after everything we’ve been through together, did you want me to do nothing? I couldn’t do nothing. And now I’m going to leave soon and I’m not sure about anything, I l –” Sokka cuts himself off abruptly. No. He’s getting too close to the truth, and the truth will result in getting hurt. He can’t get hurt, not so soon, not after the comet or after everything. He is a child of war. He’s used to everyone leaving, he’s used to them going, he’s used to losing them.</p><p>He can’t lose <em> Zuko </em>, though, he can’t because. It might just hurt more than losing Yue. Knowing that his feelings aren’t reciprocated and that Zuko is still here but he doesn’t want him. </p><p>Zuko doesn’t seem to notice his slip up. “I didn’t want you to say nothing, of course not, but an explanation at least would be preferable.”</p><p>“I just gave you one!”</p><p>“Sokka, do you…” Zuko is suddenly much too close, Sokka tries hard not to take in a large breath like he desperately wants to.</p><p>“Do I…?” Sokka breathes out, his mind fogging up. No. He needs to actually say something. He needs to talk properly, he shouldn’t – <em> can’t </em> – give in to the pull that Zuko has on him. Sokka wants to hold him, he needs to hold him, he needs Zuko to stop looking at him like that because he can’t – <em> shouldn’t </em> – give in. </p><p>Zuko’s gaze wavers between Sokka’s eyes and his lips, and Spirits no they shouldn’t. Zuko tugs him forward and no no no, they can’t; it’ll just bring them both down and they’ll fall into a deep hole. There needs to be words, communication, and Sokka isn’t <em> ready </em> to talk about it yet.</p><p>Zuko’s thumb comes up to rest on Sokka’s bottom lip. “I –”</p><p>The door opens loudly and Sokka flings himself away from Zuko, hopping on one leg.</p><p>“Guys! We’re all going to disguise ourselves and go into town, and – is everything okay?” Aang looks from the two of them, frowning. </p><p>“Yes,” Sokka squeaks out. “Everything is okay. A-okay.”</p><p>Aang looks at the two of them again, furrowing his brows. “If you say so.” He sounds puzzled, Sokka tries hard not to cringe at his tone. “Right. Well, as I was saying, we’re going to go into the town in disguise so that nobody will recognize us. Suki made me some sort of hat to wear.”</p><p>Sokka doesn’t say anything, he just stares down at the floor. Was Zuko going to – does he – are they –</p><p>Aang bites his lip. “If there’s something wrong, we don’t need to go.”</p><p>Zuko shakes his head, not looking at Sokka. “No. We can go.” Spirits, his voice is so hoarse and gravelly.</p><p>“Alright,” Aang says slowly. When he gets no response he sighs loudly. “Okay, what happened?”</p><p>“Nothing!” Sokka says quickly. Too quickly. Too quick to be believable.</p><p>Aang raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, I totally believe that. Come on, guys, what happened?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Zuko says firmly. “Let’s – let’s go, I’m kind of hungry.”</p><p>Sokka watches Zuko walk away, past Aang, and out the door. His fingers itch to reach out for him and he wants to follow. He doesn’t follow. He stands there, staring at the empty spot where Zuko had been next to him.</p><p>“Sokka, is everything okay?”</p><p>“Yes!” Sokka says brightly. Too brightly. Too bright to be believable. “Everything is just peachy. Let’s go, right?”</p><p>Aang looks at him for a long time before shrugging and turning to leave. Sokka stands there for a little bit, thinking about everything, before he follows.</p><p>It is so awkward when they get to where everyone else is. So awkward.</p><p>Which. It shouldn’t be. Right? Sokka and Zuko have survived worse, there was the play and then the betrayal and then Boiling Rock and they should be fine. When have they ever let any almost kisses ruin anything?</p><p>Granted, back then Sokka hadn’t been aware of the horrible fact that he is in love with Zuko. That he has been for a long time. Oh Spirits. Why can’t he just go back in time and forget that (not that he would actually want to forget it)?</p><p>“Um, did something happen?” Katara asks.</p><p>“No,” Sokka snaps and then instantly regrets it. </p><p>“No need to get snappy, Boomerang Boy,” Toph quips. “We just want to know why you and Torches here are acting like one of you murdered the other’s cat.”</p><p>“Nobody murdered anybody’s cat,” Zuko says. “Let’s go, okay?”</p><p>Suki raises her eyebrows. “Why should we go if you guys aren’t gonna woman up and tell us what’s wrong or figure it out yourselves?”</p><p>Sokka sighs. “Look, nothing is wrong. Let’s just enjoy a day out together as friends and not worry about, y’know, politics and balance and stuff. Nothing is wrong.”</p><p>Everything is wrong. </p><p>Sokka is practically going insane at everything in his head right now. What had Zuko been about to say? Had he wanted to –</p><p>No, Sokka tells himself, he shouldn’t hope, it’ll just turn out bad. </p><p>They get food, sneaking around and hiding from guards that patrol around. It’s actually fun, minus the fact that Sokka is constantly worrying about what happened. </p><p>They’re sitting in a dark alleyway, trying to hide their laughter, Sokka and Zuko avoiding each other’s gaze, and eating noodles. Somehow, the topic of Pohuai Stronghold comes up when Sokka mentions something about his throat flap, or whatever that thing is called.</p><p>“One of the best stories will always be how Zuko saved me there,” Aang says, grinning at Zuko. “Man, it was crazy, how did you do all that, like, leaping on the buildings and stuff?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “It wasn’t that hard. And it was easy without armour.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I still don’t understand how you could see out of that Blue Spirit mask.”</p><p>Wait. What.</p><p>Sokka’s eyes widen so much.</p><p>“What mask?” Suki asks.</p><p>“Oh, Zuko wore this mask to hide his identity,” Aang tells her. “And then later he was called the Blue Spirit in wanted posters and stuff.”</p><p>Oh. Oh Spirits.</p><p>The universe really does hate Sokka, doesn’t it?</p><p>“You know,” Toph starts snidely, “Sokka actually has a –”</p><p>Sokka chokes on his noodles, dissolving into a coughing fit. </p><p>“Sokka, are you okay?” Katara furrows her brows worriedly, ignoring Toph’s cackles as Zuko tells her to shush because they’re so going to get caught and he really doesn’t want to right now because it would be embarrassing and they can’t afford to get caught.</p><p>“Yes. I’m fine,” Sokka chokes out. “Just. Just. Z – Zuko is the Blue Spirit?”</p><p>Aang nods emphatically. Sokka doesn’t miss the nudge he gives Toph. “Yeah, Zuko’s the Blue Spirit. I told you before, didn’t I?”</p><p>“N – no!”</p><p>Katara places a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, Sokka, is this about your little cr –”</p><p>“Shut up!” Sokka hisses, cheeks flaming red. Why does stuff like this happen to him? “I – shut up.”</p><p>Toph and Aang clutch each other’s shoulders, shaking from silent laughter. Even Suki, who doesn’t know the full story, is smirking slightly. She probably guessed it. It’s not that hard, seeing how obvious the others are being.</p><p>Sokka looks straight at Zuko for the first time since their outing. Zuko’s face is bright red, he’s frowning just slightly and it makes everything worse because he knows what they’re talking about. Ugh, of course Sokka had had to go on a whole lengthy speech about the Blue Spirit and how cool he is in front of the legitimate Blue Spirit back in Ba Sing Se. Does he really deserve this? Spirits, why.</p><p>“Who’s there?” a loud voice calls, stopping everyone’s laughter.</p><p>All six of them freeze, exchanging looks with each other. They scramble up and hurry away, and Sokka feels carefree and open. He knows that soon they won’t be able to do a lot of the whole hanging out together thing. Sokka will stay for a while, but then he’ll go back. He’ll go home and then go back and forth between the north and the south, rebuilding his home. He’s going to miss everyone. </p><p>He’ll fix this with Zuko before he has to leave, before he'll regret it, he has to. </p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Zuko isn’t talking to him. Or. He’s avoiding him. Which is real mature. Real mature, buddy (not that Sokka is doing anything to go out of his way and speak to him either). </p><p>Sokka needs to tell him. Really. He should. He has to. </p><p>“Sokka?”</p><p>Sokka turns to see Aang standing in the doorway to his room in the palace. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Katara sent me to talk to you,” Aang says. </p><p>“If this is about Zuko –”</p><p>“<em>I </em> also think it would be good if I talked to you,” Aang continues loudly as if he didn’t interrupt. Sokka rolls his eyes.</p><p>Aang sits down on the bed. “What happened? Why are you and Zuko not talking to each other?”</p><p>Sokka looks down. “Um.”</p><p>“Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka sighs and then he’s rambling, telling Aang absolutely everything. From their little adventures in Ba Sing Se to Sokka’s realization to the kiss before Sozin’s Comet to what happened a few days ago.</p><p>“Sokka,” Aang says slowly, “do you like Zuko?”</p><p>Sokka looks at him weird. “Obviously, Aang, he’s one of my best friends.”</p><p>“Okay, one <em> I’m </em> your best friend, don’t even. And two, you love Zuko, right?”</p><p>Sokka blinks. “Um. Yes. I told you that. Yes I said that.”</p><p>“So tell him.”</p><p>“I can’t!”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Because it would ruin everything! Zuko is one of my best friends, we’ve been through so much, I can’t ruin it by telling him that I’m in love with him!” Sokka throws his hands up in frustration. “He doesn’t like me that way, it would ruin our whole friendship and everything we’ve built from that fateful day in Ba Sing Se.”</p><p>“Sokka,” Aang puts a hand on his shoulder, “how do you know he doesn’t like you back?”</p><p>“A – a – a million reasons!”</p><p>“Mhmm,” Aang says in disbelief. “I think you should go tell him.”</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>“Sokka, you need to tell him how you feel,” Aang says. “With words. It’s important to communicate.”</p><p>“Aang –”</p><p>“Sokka, you and Zuko deserve to be happy. You guys are so happy when you’re with each other. Just be with him.”</p><p>“It isn’t that simple,” Sokka insists.</p><p>Aang raises his eyebrows. “How is it not?”</p><p>“For one, I don’t even know if he likes me back,” Sokka says.</p><p>Aang snorts. “The Sokka I know, doesn’t wait to find out if people like him back. If he doesn’t like you back, you can move on with your friendship. You survived Ba Sing Se, the comet, the war, you can survive this.”</p><p>“But –”</p><p>“You’re saying that you don’t know if he likes you back or not, but what do you think he’s feeling right now?” Aang raises his eyebrows, looking unimpressed. “You almost kissed him, for like the umpteenth time, and then didn’t talk about it after you guys argued about not talking about your actual kiss. Do you realize how stupid that sounds?”</p><p>“Well –”</p><p>“And you realized back on Ember Island that you liked him and you haven’t said anything?”</p><p>“Yeah, but –”</p><p>“Sokka, just tell him how you feel.”</p><p>Sokka looks down, his mind racing. He thinks about everything he’s been through with Zuko, and he stands up abruptly. Zuko is...he’s Zuko, and Sokka can’t lose him because of what happened a few days ago, not without telling him this first at least.</p><p>“You’re right,” he says loudly, mostly to the air than to Aang. </p><p>“I always am,” Aang replies, grinning.</p><p>“Who allowed a thirteen year old kid to give such good advice and be so wise?”</p><p>Aang shrugs. “It’s an Avatar thing. One day, I’ll grow taller than all of you and channel my inner Kyoshi.”</p><p>Sokka snorts. “No you won’t.”</p><p>Aang rolls his eyes and then asks, “So are you going to tell him or not?”</p><p>Sokka closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I – yeah, I am.”</p><p>“Great!” Aang claps his hands together. “The others need to pay up.”</p><p>Sokka snaps his head towards Aang. “Wait, what?”</p><p>Aang clears his throat loudly. “Do you know where he is?”</p><p>“I have a pretty good idea,” Sokka answers, thinking of Zuko’s shy, fond smile in Ba Sing Se and his eyes under the glow of the lamplight.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>Sokka breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Zuko sitting at the pond where he knew he was. He starts walking towards him, trying hard not to feel embarrassed even though there is no reason for it.</p><p>“Zuko!” he shouts, waving to him.</p><p>Zuko looks up and then looks down, glaring at the ground. Sokka frowns.</p><p>He gets to the turtleduck pond and smiles brightly at Zuko.</p><p>Zuko does not return the smile. “What.” It’s not a question. Jeez, he can really hold a grudge.</p><p>Sokka thinks long and hard about what the fuck he’s going to say. He’s never really been good at the whole confession thing, always ending up saying something without thinking or impulsively doing something stupid. </p><p>Sokka starts pacing, or pacing as much as he can with his crutch, thinking about his next words.</p><p>“I – well, uhm – see – I kinda – uh – I – ahh!”</p><p>Sokka yelps as his foot slips and he falls into the pond, water splashing everywhere and ducks honking at him. The pond isn’t that deep but he still soaks his bottom half. </p><p>“Sokka!”</p><p>He tries to get back up again, but loses his footing and ends up soaking his hair. </p><p>“Agni, Sokka, what are you doing?” Zuko says with a snort, an easy half smile slipping on. </p><p>Zuko pulls him out and rests his hands on Sokka’s shoulders, closing his eyes and Sokka can feel the warmth seeping in, and oh Spirits no he looks so beautiful, a ghost of his smile still there, and Sokka can’t stop himself from blurting, “I love you.”</p><p>Zuko’s hands retreat like they’ve been burned, and his eyes snap open. Sokka winces internally but the damage is already done, the best he can do is continue. Right?</p><p>“I – I love you,” Sokka repeats. “I love you – I – I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone – which, if we’re speaking in a romantic way, is only Yue so that’s not a lot but whatever – I, uhm, yes I love you. I’m in love with you. Yeah. In love with you. I’ve been in love with you for so long. I think – I think I’ve been in love with you since I put a Spirits-damned fire lily in your stupid, beautiful hair. Granted, I didn’t know it then, but yeah. Yeah. I’m in love with you.” He lets out a shuddering breath. “Yeah, I –”</p><p>He doesn’t finish because Zuko grabs him by his wet shirt and hauls him into a kiss.</p><p>Sokka lets out a muffled noise before he’s kissing him back with every bit of energy he has. He moves closer, pressing their chests together, and falls halfway into Zuko’s lap, probably bending his leg in a way it shouldn’t be bent. They tumble into the grass, and Sokka puts a hand in Zuko’s hair, Zuko’s mouth smiling against his as their noses bump against each other. Sokka doesn't think about anything but the feeling of Zuko’s lips against him. Time itself is standing still for them.</p><p>Sokka feels warmth bloom in his chest as they break apart, breathless, their foreheads bumping.</p><p>“Do you ever stop talking?” Zuko breathes out. “You talk too much.”</p><p>“I was <em> just </em> silent,” says Sokka, smiling far too widely. </p><p>Zuko laughs into the crook of his neck. “You’re so stupid.”</p><p>“That’s <em> really </em> mean,” Sokka complains even though he’s grinning. He feels lightheaded. In the good way.</p><p>Zuko smiles, breathing loudly, his chest rising and falling at the same time as Sokka’s. “I’m in love with you too, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka smiles even wider. “Good. That’s – that’s good – great, even –, my dearest, darling <em> Li </em>.”</p><p>Zuko shoves his shoulder. “Don’t call me that.”</p><p>“I’m <em> so incredibly </em> sorry, sweetheart,” Sokka says. “<em>Zuko</em>.” Sokka licks his lips and repeats, “<em>Zuko</em>.”</p><p>Zuko presses their foreheads together again, pressing close to him. He presses a small kiss to Sokka’s mouth, smiling. Sokka gives him another peck, kissing Zuko like he’s wanted to for so long, with wet hair and wet clothes and flowers on the ground and bread crumbs on the grass.</p><p>— ☽☼ —</p><p>“You’re soaking wet,” Katara states, the second she sees him. She looks at Zuko. “And <em> you </em> have leaves and flowers in your hair.” Her eyes stray to their intertwined fingers. “Oh. Oh! Oh, finally!”</p><p>“Finally what?” comes Toph’s voice. She stands next to Katara, followed by Suki and Aang.</p><p>Suki looks down at their hands too, when she looks back up she’s smirking. “Finally.”</p><p>“Finally what?”</p><p>“It looks like I’ve won the bet, I told you guys it would be after we won the war.” He smiles gleefully at Katara. “Pay up, everyone, especially you, Katara.”</p><p>Katara sniffs. “Shut up.”</p><p>“Hold on, you guys bet on us?” Sokka raises his eyebrows, looking at his friends and then looking at Zuko.</p><p>“Aang started it,” Toph, Suki, and Katara say at the same time.</p><p>Aang looks at the three of them, offended. “Excuse me! If you’ll remember, I mentioned it offhandedly back at the temple and Toph jumped on it and said we should make a betting pool, Haru and Teo were all for it.” He looks at Sokka and Zuko sheepishly. “Yeah, they were in on it, we’ll have to tell them that I won now. Anyways, then when Suki came, she joined. And <em> then</em>, after Katara forgave Zuko, she came and told us we needed to do something about you two, so we told her about the bet.” Aang glares at Toph. “So, technically it was Toph’s fault.”</p><p>“It was not!” Toph denies hotly. She hesitates for a moment. “Okay, it was pretty much my fault, but you mentioned it first.”</p><p>Aang turns to glare at all of them. “And I can't believe you guys didn't tell me Sokka kissed him at the White Lotus campsite!”</p><p>“I can’t believe you guys <em>bet</em> on us!” Sokka says indignantly.</p><p>“I can,” Zuko tells him with a snort.</p><p>Sokka shrugs. “I mean I can too, I guess. But,” he turns back to the others, “<em>why </em>would you guys bet on us getting together?”</p><p>Suki raises an eyebrow. “Because you guys were so obviously in love with each other and you were taking too long to get together.”</p><p>“Fair.”</p><p>“<em>Are </em> we together?” Zuko asks, his cheeks dusted with a beautiful pink and a look of slight worry on his face. “Like, are we –”</p><p>Sokka grins wolfishly, pulling Zuko closer. “I told you I love you and you still don’t know if we’re together?”</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes and smiles down at him. “You didn’t explicitly say it.”</p><p>Sokka leans up and kisses Zuko’s mouth softly, before pulling away and biting at Zuko’s bottom lip. “Yeah, we are together.” He rests his head in the crook of Zuko’s neck. “You better send me like a thousand letters.”</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>Zuko pulls him in for another kiss, and Sokka lets him do it, ignoring their friends’ chorus of “ews”. He holds Zuko’s hand tightly and never wants to let go.</p><p>(The other four pounce on them, all of them falling to the ground in the midst of giggles and groans. They'll have to go their separate ways and fix the stupid world at one point, but for now they're just children.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is it, omg this is the end??? wow like i didn’t even think i’d make it, there were times when writing this was so hard that i almost gave up but we finished !!! i seriously can’t believe it, i’ve never been prouder of anything i’ve written, like i’m so happy? we did it, i am freaking out. thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has read this fic it was such an emotional rollercoaster - for me and the characters and yeah i’m close to crying. if you’ve been here from the start, also thank you for that, you had to watch my futile attempts in writing and keeping the update schedule the same. 119k of this story and half of the time it had no plot? i don’t even think it made sense, but i wrote it for my happiness and i love it so much. i hope you enjoyed, and who knows maybe i’ll write an epilogue even though i’m more partial to open endings that aren’t final-final</p><p>&lt;333 i love you all so much i hope you liked it</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i made a<br/><a href="https://bi-bi-bisexual-sokka.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> solely because my bf said i should, there's nothing on it but y'all can ask me questions ig</p><p>oh and i have a<br/><a href="https://open.spotify.com/user/lk4du8zc2m079bl8n7gkqo77k?si=PeiVUxsbT0CAnKMHHZpsdA">spotify</a> which y'all can go see if you want :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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